Here's the last chapter. Sorry it took so long for me to write this last part.
John smiled as he slipped out of his hospital scrubs. The Docs had finally let him out of the infirmary and allowed him back in his own room. He couldn't wait to get a shower. Sure he had had showers in the infirmary but he could never really relax in the hospital bathroom, always knowing someone was outside the door, waiting for him to be done. He sighed as he stepped in the tub, the warm stream striking his skin, washing away the tension in his muscles. His small smile turned into a groan as the his door chimed. Allowing his eyes to slide shut once again, John ignored the door. If it was an emergency McKay could use the intercom to get to him. The Colonel groaned as the pounding increased ten fold on the door. Sighing, he leaned over to turn off the water. Grabbing a towel and quickly drying himself off, he wrapped it around his waist.
"I'm coming." The man grumbled under his breath, waving his hand in front of the door sensor. Rodney stood on the other side, bent over and panting for breath.
"Rodney? What's wrong?" He asked, placing a hand on the scientist's bent back.
"Sara..S-She's not doin' well." McKay gasped, standing to face him. "Carson's only giving her the night."
Without another word, Sheppard turned disappeared into the bathroom, reemerging with black sweat pants on and a white t-shirt in his fist. He grabbed his ear-piece out of habit before brushing past Rodney to half-walk half-run down the hall towards the infirmary.
"Why didn't you just over-ride the door?" John asked as they jogged, Rodney trailing behind him, but only slightly. The exercise regiment Sheppard had put in place for all off-world teams was doing the scientist some good.
"The door. Why didn't you open it?"
"I don't know." Rodney shrugged. "Guess I didn't think about it."
"What happened?" John asked, skidding to a halt in front of the transporter, waving his hand over the wall-mounted console.
"Carson said something about the stress proving to be too much and her organs shutting down."
John nodded, grimly. Neither man said anything else until they reached the infirmary, John hesitant with what he would find inside.
Lt. Colonel John Sheppard slowly walked out onto the North Pier balcony, dragging his feet and lost deep in thought. Sara was gone. Slipping away peacefully with John's hand clamped firmly in her grasp. She had been prepared, tiring of the constant pain that even Carson's miracle pills couldn't fully suppress. Her body had simply shut down, her cells having been mutated and dying due to the high levels of radiation she had been exposed to for so long.
Guilt plagued the Colonel's mind, adding her name to the list of people he hadn't been able to save. Sumner, Ford, Elizabeth, the list went on and on. He had failed so many people since the beginning of the Atlantis mission. Heck, he lost people his first mission.
Leaning his elbows on the railing, he watched as the Pegasus version of seagulls swooped amidst the spires of Atlantis, a sigh pushing passed his lips. He had promised her he would get her out, save her but now she was dead. Sure, Sara had told him it wasn't his fault, that there was nothing he could have done. Beckett told him the same thing, saying the damage was done and no matter how quickly he could have gotten her out it wouldn't have changed anything but the guilt still lingered and he knew it would for a while.
"Colonel?" Teyla's voice reached his ears over the screech of the birds and the crashing of the waves beneath them.
"But why do you get to go after Sheppard?" Whined Rodney. Both Ronon and John had gone their separate ways when Sara had passed, both needing to work out their grief and both needing a team for comfort, no matter how much either of them denied it. "The caveman gets even more hyped on testosterone when he's upset. The last marine who so much as looked at him wrong when he was this upset ended up with stitches. What do I say?"
Teyla gave McKay an exasperated look. "Just go and talk to him, Rodney." Teyla answered. "The words will come to you." Sighing, she parted ways with the scientist, walking into the nearest transporter. She popped her head back out before the doors closed. "Oh, and Rodney. Don't call him a caveman."
"Ronon?" Rodney called out as he peeked into the sparring room, he knew immediately that the person he sought was there as the constant thud of the banto sticks hitting padding echoed through the room. The scientist inched into the room, nervously wringing his fingers together.
The Satedan was attacking one of the punching dummies. Leaping with the grace of a dancer, but Rodney wasn't gonna tell him that. The force behind the grace was deadly and McKay was quite happy to have yet to be on the receiving end of those fists. Yes, it had been threatened but it had yet to happen.
"Hey, Ronon. You need to talk?" Rodney squeaked. He had to fight the urge to step back as Ronon stopped his movements and turned to face him, sweat glistening on his face.
"No." Ronon's answer was short and gruff. With that he turned back to the dummy and began to lay into it again.
"Are you sure? I mean you just lost one of the few surviving people of your planet and not in a very pleasant way. I know I would be upset." Rodney babbled, not even noticing that the Satedan had stopped and was staring into space with his back towards the scientist. "Heck. I'd be ticked at Sora for doing it to her. I mean, I'd be sad too, and lonely. She was the first Satedan that could have stayed here with you and probably would have. A chance to have someone to-"
"What makes you think you know so much, McKay?" Ronon spun around, putting a little more force behind his words as he planned to.
"I-It's just what I know I'd be feeling, is all." Rodney stammered, this time actually taking a step back, but he quickly swallowed his fear and forced himself to step forward once again. "And I know you're feeling that way too. Any person would. And I don't care if you're a big and bad warrior, your human. And you have a home here. Everyone here has accepted you and considers you family, so you better buck up and realize that no matter how many Satedan's you find or your planet is suddenly back to how it was, you'll still and us here." Rodney sighed, leaning down to pick up a pair of banto rods. "Now that's what I had to say, now if bashing me to a pulp is gonna help, let's get this over with." He finished, his knuckles white from his grip on the sticks and his lips pressed tight together.
The scientist cringed when the large man moved towards him, not seeing the grin on the man's face. The Satedan clamped a hand on the man's back in thanks before walking past him.
"Thanks, McKay." Ronon said in a gruff voice. "Now let's go find Sheppard."
They both walked out together, knowing right where John and Teyla would be.
"Colonel?" Teyla spoke softly as she walked out onto the balcony. She had known right where to look for the Colonel. He could often be found watching the skies when he had something on his mind. Of course they all knew that he would have rather taken a jumper up but even he didn't have enough pull to do that every other day, not to say that he didn't do it occasionally, Atlantis, herself, often covering his escape.
John turned around at the sound of her voice, before turning back to stare at the birds circling the sky. "Hey, Teyla."
She silently walked up next to him and leaned on the railing as well, her belly getting in the way once again. They stood there in silence for a few moments, though the moments weren't awkward revealing their close friendship.
"It's not your fault." Teyla said softly, breaking the silence.
"I know but I still have the what-ifs." John replied, still not taking his eyes off the sky and ocean in front of him.
"And you will for a while but they will fade in time."
"At least she got to see something outside that dungeon before she, you know." John mumbled, unsure if he could say death so soon.
"A fact, I know she was very grateful for." Teyla nodded, looking at him. Her mind flashed back to the image of him hanging from the chains, shaking as blood ran from his body. Reaching out, the Athosian traced her finger along the sole remaining scab on his cheek. "And I am grateful to her for helping us find you, at risk of her own life."
"Believe me, no one could be happier than me." Sheppard chuckled. However his face fell as his mind drifted to the cell they had been kept in. "I don't know how she even survived in there. Locked away for so long with no one looking for her." John shivered.
"But we found her and she did escape." Teyla told him. "And we will always have people to look for us and a home to return to."
"Never leave a man behind." Ronon's low voice said from behind them, Rodney standing next to him.
"Glad to see you guys listen to me sometimes." Sheppard joked, swallowing his grief. Yes, it hurt to have Sara gone. She had, after all, saved his life and become a friend, but she had been at peace with it and it was the least John could do to be at peace with it too.
"Well, who's up for popcorn and a movie?" The Colonel asked.
"As long as it's not Rocky or Jaws again, and when I say Rocky, I mean none of the ten of them." Rodney spoke up, glaring at Ronon.
"There are only 6, Rodney." John corrected.
"Well it seems like a lot more when you're made to sit through all of them with a bunch of marines on movie night."
"Dr. McKay, you could have joined the other group in the second theater." Teyla spoke up.
"The whole "Love Comes" whatever movies? I'd rather die." McKay imitated gagging, motioning to shove his finger down his throat.
"The point is you had options." John spoke up. "How bout Star Wars?"
And with this statement another chorus of moans erupted.
The team walked off the balcony, side by side. To an outside viewer the group was quite the rag-tag band, consisting of a military pilot whose hair appeared to defy gravity much like his occupation, a waddling pregnant woman who had killed enemies with her bare hands, a scientist who, though, arrogant on the outside, had a sensitive streak he tired to hide, and a tall warrior, who's worst fear was to be alone. To all others a rather odd team, but by far the most effective team that Atlantis had to offer.
Thank you all for sticking with me. I loved hearing from everyone who reviewed. Please let me know your final thoughts!!!!
I'm sorry if any of you think John got over it too fast, but I didn't have the will power to put anymore emotion into it.
and I know a few people didn't want me to kill sara but it was planned from the beginning, but if anyone wants to bring her back from the dead, or whatever, go for it and let me know so i can read your story!!!
so, yeah, tomorrow's my birthday so please leave me lots of good reviews!!!!!