Hope you like this! I would have posted it earlier, but was being annoying...
Just a quick oneshot... I'm sure this kind of thing has been done before... but oh well :)
Oh! And pleaseeee review :)

Remus Lupin is driving me mad.

He is.

He really, really is.

I mean, does he not even realise the effect he is having on me? There he is, sitting all innocent looking across from me in the Great Hall. The large amber eyes, the small soft smile... Just everything about him screams, 'I'm innocent... Bow down to me! Mwahahaha.' (Okay, maybe not that last part...)But, alas, I know better; that cheeky bastard is anything but innocent and I'm pretty sure that what he is doing right now is deliberate.

Do you wanna know what he's doing?

Do you?


He's sucking on a lemon.

The stupid git.

I bet he knows exactly how horny he's making me. And, right now, my horniness is miles past its normal level, and let me tell you, that is saying something. I'm so horny, in fact, that I may have to lock James and Peter out of the dorm for the whole of this weekend.

You may be slightly worried. After all, what could possibly be so arousing about watching Remus Lupin sucking on a lemon?

First of all, can I just emphasise the word 'sucking'? Do I really need to elaborate on that point?

All I can say is that it brings certain images to my brain. Think X-rated stick figures.


And then, there's the slurping. His slurps are not noisy and messy, no. Instead, they are slow and almost bloody sensual. Have you ever heard of slurping being sensual? I mean, is it even possible for someone to slurp sexily? Well, apparently Remus can, and right now, he's doing a pretty damn good job of it.

Gah... I swear, if he carries on like this... Merlin help me, I'm going to jump him right here, right now.

You know, I do not like lemons. At all. They're really way too sour for me. They're too yellow, as well; the colour is pretty much blinding. Also, I hate how messy you can get... all sticky and... bleaurghh.... Yuck.

But, my irritatingly cute, cheeky and devilishly sexy werewolf fucking makes them look like an orgasm on the tongue. Yep, that's how hot he is.

At first, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I mean, how can anyone look this good whilst eating the evillest of all fruits?

But now, I'm almost envious of that stupid lemon...

Second of all-



Some of the juice has just dribbled down his chin. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I need to... Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap....Ack. Merlin's hairy balls, I think my brain is going to implode. No, in fact, forget my bloody brain; I'm going to have a mother fucking heart attack.

There is a tinge of red staining his cheeks when he realises that the juice is trickling slowly down his chin. Moony pulls the lemon out of his mouth and is just about to wipe off the lemony liquid, when I reach forward and grab his wrist. His head snaps up towards me and he raises an eyebrow. Normally the combination of juice on his face and the quirked eyebrow would make me laugh my head off, but right now, I'm so horny it doesn't even matter.

I lean over the table until we're almost nose to nose. I can feel his breath skidding over my lips and... Oh my God, I'm going fucking insane.

"Fuck this."

And then...

I lick the juice off of his chin.

"Mmmm..." I groan softly, relishing the tangy, sour taste of that evil, evil lemon.

Pulling away, I lick my sticky lips, smirking at the mortified expression on Remus' face. A few seconds pass in silence, during which the horrified look in my werewolf's eyes fades away and instead they flash with... desire?


The whole of the Great Hall is hushed and unmoving as my gorgeous werewolf abruptly leaps to his feet, pulls me up by my collar and drags me out (completely unceremoniously, I'll have you know.) of dinner and up to (I'm happily assuming) the dormitory.

Eh, I suppose lemons aren't that bad.