Disclaimer - I don't own any of these characters even though I would like to very much; including the Monty Python quote.
Consequences Of Seeing The Future
"Ok, darling, now say Mum." Lily whispered to Harry as he sat in his crib, watching his mother in curiosity as she shot glances towards the door to make sure that James wouldn't come in. "Muh-um, sweetie, say Muh-um." Harry giggled at the expression on his mother's face which was one of triumphant glee. Inwardly, she smirked to herself. James would never win the bet that Harry would say his name first, not if she had anything to say about it.
"Lily! Lily – there you are!" came a voice from a head poking round the door. "What are you doing, anyway? You're not…" James trailed off in realisation. "You are. Lily, I thought we had a deal. I'm not paying you 100 Galleons because you cheated into making Harry say your name first."
Lily looked affronted. "I would never." James simply tilted his head and looked at her. "Fine, I would." She grumbled and swooped down to plant a kiss on Harry's forehead. "Goodnight, darling."
James watched as Lily left the room and once he was sure that the door was fully closed, he leant over Harry's crib and whispered to him "Ok, Harry, can you say 'Dad'? Or Da, I'm not fussy. Come on, say Da." James smiled as he saw Harry open his mouth…only to burp which put Harry into a giggling mood as he watched his father's expression fall. "Okay, kiddo, goodnight" he said as he too bent down to kiss his son goodnight.
While leaving the room, he nearly walked into Lily who was stood just outside and looking at him in a very accusing manner which suddenly turned to one of seduction. Walking over to him, she noticed his sudden intake of breath. Smirking inwardly, she purred "James, darling, would you like to get me some hot chocolate?" at the same time as running a finger down his chest. He gulped and nearly squeaked as he felt her hand run down onto his thigh. "Yep, going to get some for you right away, honey." As James nearly fell down the stairs in his eagerness to get away before he ended up blurting out all his secrets because of that come hither look she had perfected, Lily smirked, outwardly this time. James, as much as she loved him, would never be able to outsmart her into having Harry say his name first.
Lily's expression changed rapidly. How could someone know where they were? Peter was the Secret Keeper and the house had been made Unplottable to Muggles so only Peter knew where they were, unless…he had been found by Voldemort. Realising this, her face paled and she almost ran downstairs to find James in a battle stance, facing the front door from where a silhouette of a man could be seen through the opaque glass.
James raised his wand to unlock the door, thereby stopping the taunting that the Dark Lord was doing but Lily grasped his arm, pulling it down. "No, James! We can't!" she said in a desperate tone. He looked at her and kissed her quickly before opening the door. There stood Lord Voldemort, with his hand raised to knock a third time. He smiled happily at the sight of James standing slightly in front of Lily, who looked faintly annoyed by that before lowering his hand and saying, "Ah, Mr and Mrs Potter. A pleasure to see you, as always. I wish to talk to you about Harry, if I may?" He took one step forward into the house and James immediately shot a curse at him but Voldemort lazily blocked it. In James' peripheral vision, he noticed Lily taking out her wand and preparing to duel.
Voldemort shot a Stupefy at Lily, who blocked it and returned with a Castrating hex which made Voldemort's eyes widen in surprise and then amusement after dodging it. "I like your style tonight, Mrs Potter. Bit Dark of you though." he called out. Sending out a Tickling Hex and Langlock at James and Lily respectively, he continued the conversation. "May I call you Lily? It's a lovely name." he said, ducking away from the Stunning Curse before sending 2 of them in quick succession towards his opponents. "You may, Mr Riddle. Can I call you Tom?" Lily answered, her eyes gleaming in satisfaction at Voldemort's flinch after hearing Riddle, which allowed James the opportunity to hit his adversary with Diffindo, cutting open Voldemort's bared forearm.
Slightly aggravated by this, Voldemort sent a Blinding Charm, noticeable by its violet colour but James was unable to block it, since it bypassed the Protego shield. His eyes widened in horror as the charm overtook his senses leaving him completely blind to the happenings inside his house and then he felt one more curse strike him. His last thoughts before sinking into darkness were of Lily and Harry.
Lily yelled incoherently as she watched her husband slump to the floor and redoubled her attack on Voldemort. Sending a flurry of nearly Dark curses, she grinned in satisfaction as some of them hit but that grin was wiped off her face as she faced a bout of defensive spells sent back to her. They duelled for several more minutes before Voldemort finally managed to reach past her defences and hit her with Petrificus Totalus and she too slumped to the floor, her eyes glaring angrily up at the Dark Lord.
"Now Lily," he began. "I'm not here to kill you, nor Harry and I'll explain why when I've had a nice cup of tea. After all, tea does work awfully well as a pick-me-up. Much better than that awful coffee stuff. Anyway, I wouldn't be disinclined to sitting down in the kitchen and having a nice chat over some tea so what do you say?"
James awoke, disorientated and as his location came into view, he wondered why the hell he was tied to one of his kitchen chairs and watching Voldemort play Catch with his son. He stared for a bit before clearing his throat and Voldemort turned around, startled.
"Oh, you've finally woken up!" Voldemort cried happily. "Now, Lily darling, have you made the tea yet?"
James looked round, befuddled and saw his wife pouring from the teapot into three mugs. Now, by this stage, James was understandably confused as to why the current Dark Lord was in his kitchen, asking his wife if the tea had been made, and not attempting to kill them.
"So, James, I understand you're confused as to why I, the current Dark Lord, am standing in your kitchen, asking your wife if the tea's been made, and not attempting to kill you." Voldemort said, having sat down after spinning the chair around and facing James.
"What! How did you know that? Are you psychic?" James asked, even more confused by now.
"No," said Voldemort slowly, as if talking to a child, "you just said it out loud."
Lily interrupted the staring contest between her husband and her enemy and placed the tea mugs on the table. "James, that's yours, and Voldemort, there's yours. Now, getting down to business. WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE, VOLDEMORT! HAVE YOU COME TO KILL MY BABY BOY? I DON'T CARE IF YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T PLANNING ON DOING SO BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, I SWEAR I WILL HEX YOU INTO THE NEXT CENTURY AND THEN A COUPLE OF MILLENIUMS! THEN I WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU UNTIL YOU END UP GOING INSANE AND TELL ALL YOUR FOLLOWERS TO WEAR PINK AND HUG MUGGLES! AFTER THAT, I'LL MAKE YOU SANE AGAIN SO YOU CAN SEE WHAT I DID TO YOU AND THEN, WELL, YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT AND FIND OUT BUT IT WON'T BE PRETTY!" Lily yelled, flushed as she finished the end of her…speech.
Voldemort blinked. She sounded worst than Jane Collins in school. He'd heard through the grapevine that she'd married some guy called Prewett and had some kids; he knew two were boys called Fabian and Gideon that had been killed about a year ago and the other was a girl called Molly or something like that. He idly noticed James had conjured a pair of earmuffs as soon as Lily had started ranting. That had to be the record for the fastest time of conjuring and putting earmuffs on.
"Why would I come here to kill your son? And please, call me Tom since we're amongst friends, are we not." This time it was Lily's turn to blink.
James interjected "But what about the prophecy? And why am I tied up but Lily's not?" questioned James as he realised his current state.
"Ah, yes, the prophecy…" Volde…Tom looked almost embarrassed. "Well, you see, I used a time-turner to do a little jump into the future and you died and then I died because I tried to kill you and Harry but the killing curse backfired and he killed me and then your kid grew up in a loveless Muggle home with some cow called Petunia and then he went to Hogwarts and I tried to return using the Philosopher's Stone in his first year but then he killed the body I was inhabiting and then in his second year, he killed me again but it was my Horcrux this time so it wasn't really me but it was, you see." Apparently Lily and James didn't see as they were staring at Tom with their mouths open and with extremely gobsmacked expressions on their face.
Netherless, Tom continued on, undaunted by his listeners' lack of understanding. "And then I didn't try anything in this third year but my servant escaped and came back to me so in Harry's fourth year, I had another of my servants hide at Hogwarts pretending to be a teacher again so I could kidnap Harry to give me blood so I could return into a former shadow of myself and then in his fifth year, I wanted the prophecy so I made a connection between me and him so I could make him believe he was going insane. Ah yes, good times…" Tom said dreamily, appearing to reminiscence. Lily and James simply stared at Tom, wondering if he was going insane. Privately, Lily was thinking he had a hell of a set of lungs on him.
"So," Lily said faintly, "why are you telling us this?" Tom looked at her in surprise. "What? Haven't I just told you why?"
"No," James replied, "you'd just got onto the part where you told us making our son believe he was going insane was a good time." James was starting to wonder about his own sanity since he was holding a civil conversation with Voldemort who had been terrorising the world for years and had been his sworn enemy ever since he'd started fighting for the Light.
"Well," Tom continued, "it got to the point when your boy was in his seventh year, he'd destroyed most of my Horcruxes and then we had this big Final Battle and people died, including me. Can you believe that?" Lily and James looked suitably shocked but at the same time, incredibly proud of Harry.
"So what does this have to do with us?" James questioned. He was still very confused as to why Voldemort was there at all. "How did you find us? And why am I still tied up?"
"Oh, right. Forgot about that." Tom said sheepishly and released James. "Wormtail, I believe he is known as, told me. He's been a Death Eater for over a year now, you realise. Naturally, we only corresponded in private but he arrived at Riddle Manor earlier tonight and gave me your address. Lovely place you've got here, you know but I do think you should choose your friends a bit better…" Tom mused as Lily and James' expressions turned from shock to disbelief on James' face but anger and hatred on Lily's.
"That little rat!" she finally exclaimed in disgust. "I told you, James, that I didn't trust him but what did you say? Oh, don't worry, Lily, Peter's completely trustworthy and well, Remus has been acting a bit funny lately." She said this last bit in a singsong mocking tone. Tom looked slightly amused by this as James attempted to say something but could only open and shut his mouth helplessly. "Completely trustworthy, my arse." Lily muttered under her breath.
Tom continued. "Well, I thought of not killing you and thereby killing your son which leads to my death, but instead kidnapping you and making you become Death Eaters but then I thought, nah, they wouldn't agree to that so I was thinking what about a truce?"
"A…truce?" Lily asked warily. "You suddenly want to stop killing people and trying to take over the Wizarding World?"
Tom nodded happily. "After what I've seen, it would be a much better idea for me not to kill your son and much better for you two as well, I suppose. Of course, I could just kill you and kidnap him but I don't think children should grow up without their parents when that is avoidable."
"How do we know that you won't just suddenly kill us?" James questioned suspiciously, still shaken by one of his best friends being a Death Eater. "And you've killed parents, leaving their children orphans."
"That was part of a war. People have to be killed but why children when they've got lives ahead of them. Anyway, I think just coming here today and not killing you might prove that I'm not planning to kill you and the rest of the world." Tom said, slightly sarcastically. "In any case, I'm willing to make an unbreakable vow so that you can be safely assured of my intentions." James and Lily looked at each other for a long moment and held an unspoken conversation as married couples are wont to do before looking at Tom and nodding.
He nodded back cheerfully and raised his wand, saying "I, Thomas Marvolo Riddle, solemnly swear by my magic to stop killing people and taking over the world without reason."
James smiled at him. "So, the war is over" he said, trying the words out. "That was a very anti-climatic ending to a war." Lily remarked. "Shall we go out to dinner to celebrate?"
Tom smirked. "I don't feel the public is quite ready to see me in public yet so I'll stay and look after Harry if that's alright?" Lily nodded and practically ran out of the room, dragging James with her. "Come on, James! You make reservations and I'll get ready." This was the last thing that Tom heard before he turned to Harry and smiled. "Have you ever played with bubbles, Harry?" who merely looked at Tom curiously. "Well, I know another little boy who loves playing with bubbles", Tom said, waving his wand to produce a horde of coloured bubbles which made Harry gurgle in delight as he waved his hands up at them.
Albus Dumbledore arrived in the Potters' kitchen fearing the worst as there were signs of a battle in the form of broken vases and picture frames sprawled across the living room. His alarms had gone off in his office whilst he had been at the Halloween feast and so he had only just realised that Voldemort had attacked the Potters. He immediately moved into attack mode, eyes alert for any sudden movement and crouched so as to present a smaller target. He heard steps coming down the staircase and did a commando roll across the living room, extremely proud that he didn't roll into anything. He hid behind the door as he listened to the steps coming closer and closer. Jumping out from behind the door, he yelled "Stupefy" and inwardly chuckled in glee as he realised he'd hit his target. Looking at said target, however, caused his chuckle to disappear as fast as James putting earmuffs on when Lily started her rants, which, as described before, had to be a record. This was because said target was Lily Potter, née Evans. He absentmindedly wondered what he wanted put on his gravestone because she would certainly murder him when she woke up.
Thinking back to examples of Lily's wrath, he remembered an incident in her fourth year with James Potter, who upon deciding that duelling Severus Snape would impress Lily, disarmed Severus and turned to Lily, grinning in pride. Lily had promptly disarmed James, dyed his hair green and silver, cursed him with something that made him insult Gryffindor and, with the help of an obscure little charm that she had found in the library, made James believe he was in Slytherin. To James who absolutely detested his Slytherin peers, it was the worst punishment he could have received especially when he realised his hair colour would stay there for the next month but unfortunately for Lily, this only made him admire her all the more as he begged her for the charm that she had used on him despite Lily giving him a curse with the effects of castration every time she saw him after the Severus incident. Thinking back to this made Albus shiver in fear as he saw the consequences of his foolish actions.
"Hey, Albus." He heard a familiar voice say in surprise. "What are you doing here? And where did Lily – oh." Albus looked up to see James at the bottom of the stairs. James looked at Lily, prone on the floor, up to Albus' wand in his hand, still outstretched and finally at Albus' guilty expression. "Uh-oh" James said, beginning to smile which led to a grin, then a chuckle and finally full-out laughter. "You know she's gonna be so pissed, don't you?" James spluttered, in fits of laughter. "Hey, Tom," James shouted, "Come here and watch the show." Albus watched as a tall man, brown-haired and carrying Harry Potter, entered the room.
"Tom?" Albus asked in astonishment. "Tom Riddle? Why haven't you killed Harry?"
Tom raised an eyebrow in amazement and slight concern, obviously for Albus' mental health. "You want me to? I thought you wanted Harry to stay safe and not die. Besides, he's too cute to murder." Tom cooed this last bit at Harry, who latched onto Tom's finger and somehow, turned it gold. "I take that back! Gold! Why not green or silver! I could live with blue or black, but gold!" Tom hissed, in mock anger as he gently put Harry into James' arms and then waved his finger in front of Harry's face. Both James and Harry laughed at Tom's face which was halfway between being indignant and amused. All Albus could manage was a weak smile as his mind attempted to reason why Voldemort was not killing the Potters, his enemies. As he watched the interaction between Tom Riddle, Lord Voldemort and Harry Potter, the boy prophesised to defeat him, he was understandably confused as to why this was happening and as he opened his mouth to query this new relationship, he was interrupted by James' voice.
"Albus stunned Lily so that's why I called you in to watch the show." James said, still chuckling at Albus' fate. "I'll get the popcorn." James stood up; putting Harry in Tom's arms as Albus paled even more, if that was possible, at the reminder of Lily. As James came back into the hallway, he took a moment to cast a charm that would make the popcorn pop and then cast "Ennervate" on Lily. Sitting down on the stairs, he motioned for Tom to join him as Lily started to wake up, dazed. She quickly came to full consciousness and stood upright, her gaze focused on Albus in a less than...friendly manner, shall we say.
Lily's voice promised pain as she almost hissed out "Albus. Why. Did. You. Stun. Me?" Despite her quiet voice, everyone could tell that Lily was thoroughly pissed and this was not good. Not good at all. Especially for Albus.
"Uh, well, I thought you were somebody else?" his reply coming out as a question. "Well Albus, DON'T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE CHECKED WHO I WAS INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE SOME TRIGGER-HAPPY IDIOT? OR WAS THAT TOO COMPLICATED FOR A 200 YEAR OLD MAN!" Albus felt quite insulted by that; he was only 122 years old. "MEN! THEY'RE ALL COMPLETE IMBECILES" Lily yelled before bending down to Harry and saying firmly "but you're not, sweetie. You're the smartest little boy ever." Then she returned to yelling at Albus.
James, Tom and Harry watched this in silence, occasionally sticking a hand in the bucket of popcorn and taking some, and with Harry intermittently giggling at the frightened face on Albus. Soon, Lily appeared to be winding down – "SO HELP ME GOD, IF YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN, YOU SCUM-SUCKING, IDIOTIC, BLOODY SENSELESS, UNSCRUPULOUS, SHAMELESS, OLD DIRTBAG, YOU WILL BE HEXED SO MUCH YOUR HEXES WILL HAVE HEXES AND THEN I'LL LEAVE YOU, YOU BASTARD, IN YOUR OFFICE, NAKED AND UNABLE TO TALK OR FREE YOURSELF WITH YOUR BLOODY LEMON DROPS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU BUT YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH THEM. AND FOR THE NEXT 6 MONTHS, YOU'LL HAVE A CURSE ON YOU THAT MAKES EVERYONE SAY 'NI!' TO YOU!" Albus flinched. How had she found out about his Monty Python weakness. Lily, having apparently finished her tirade, stopped talking, her face flushed and James stood up after he had vanished the popcorn bucket.
"Now that's all done and dusted, how about we finish getting ready, sweetheart?" James said happily, putting his arms round Lily who was still shaking from her yelling.
"But what…how…why is he here?" Albus spluttered out his words in an effort to get them all out at once whilst pointing at Tom who was still sitting on the stairs with Harry in his arms.
"Well Albus, we've agreed on a truce and when Tom came over tonight, we had a little chat and he volunteered to watch Harry while Lily and I go out to dinner to celebrate." James explained.
"But…but…but…" This revelation had taken Albus by surprise; indeed, so much that he appeared unable to say anything except 'but' which he stammered out with his gaze flicking from Tom to the Potters rapidly. This proved to be too much for him, and he fainted. Lily, who was looking for her earrings, gave an annoyed sigh and levitated him onto the sofa, before smirking and turning to Tom.
"Tom, honey, would you do me a little favour? Could you possibly turn Albus' robes to black and put a Parseltongue password on it so he can't turn them back?"
Tom smirked back at her before complying with her wishes. "Are you sure you weren't meant to be in Slytherin?" he asked her, raising an eyebrow. Lily sighed and shook her head as James looked between her and Tom, slightly worried at the obviously disappointed look on Lily's face. If she'd been a pureblood along with her looks, talent and extremely cunning mind, James thought, she would have been worshipped in Slytherin.
"Come on, James, we have to leave now if we want to get to the restaurant on time." Said Lily impatiently, attempting to drag James through the door by his wrist whilst he tried to leave at a more sedately pace. As they were heading out the door, there came a "Tom!" from Harry. Tom turned to him in surprise. "Isn't that his first word?" he queried, looking at James and Lily. James looked devasted whilst Lily was looking at Tom in a rather angry manner.
"Dammit!" James whined. "Now I've got to pay Lily." Lily smiled in a rather devious manner whilst also glaring at Tom. She had bet James 100 Galleons that Harry would not say Dad first but she had been hoping it would have been Mum. Silently, she shot a spell at Tom who had his back turned to her. That would teach him to have his name said first, she thought, grinning as she saw Tom's clothes turn to pink and flash Kick Me on the back in fairy lights. And naturally, the effects would not be visible to Tom thought Lily smugly as she left Godric's Hollow, James trailing behind and still sulking about the loss of 100 Galleons.
Author's Note - Well, I hoped you liked it since this was my first piece of fanfiction, so please review if there are any mistakes or if you just wanted to say you enjoyed it, or not, as the case may be. I realise Tom is very OOC; he sort of has to be in order to make this story work, I think. I was also wondering if anyone would like me to do another one-shot based on other peoples' reactions to the truce such as the Death Eaters and the other Marauders so please let me know about that.