A/N: So here it is our first full on collaboration with all The EB's!

Misery / Twilight cross over. A Twisted tale of obsession. When a woman's husband dies in a snow accident her life is left shattered. Transforming her into sloth like creature, losing touch with reality her only contact with the outside world is done online. What happens when loneliness leads to an obsession with Twilight and that obsession soon becomes a reality.... for everyone!


Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or anything else Stephenie Meyers related, all characters in this story are fictional and bare no resemblance to any factual person. Purely done for fun.

Misery Hutt

Chapter 7

Just as Rob opened his mouth to speak, Lamerat and Punkwit came running into the room.

Relief washed over Rob. He had been spared, if only for a moment.

"Huttt!!!!! We have a CODE RED situation!!!" Punkwit screamed.

"Someone has started an alternate list of fanfiction on the New Moon board!" Lamerat added.

"WHAT?! That is utterly unacceptable!!! Get it deleted, immediately! And for the love of Cullen, STOP COCK BLOCKING ME! Now run along and get the hell out of here! " The Hutt's booming voice shook the entire hut.

"That's not all, Hutt..." Lamerat said. "It gets worse...on the new lists...there are stories that have not been approved."

The Hutt screamed in agony. All stories on fan fic lists MUST meet her approval."

"And Hutt...there are some Wolf pack fics and even some Bella / Jacob fics on the list now..." Punkwit added.

That was the final straw, the only thing that could rip The Hutt away from Rob.

Furious, The Hutt slithered towards the computer to mobilize her other minions and make sure that her Master List of Fan Fic would triumph."


Punkwit and Lamerat stepped outside while The Hutt reported imdb threads and brainstormed alternative screen names.

"Edward's...wife? Edward's...Love?" she thought out loud. "Angel" she confirmed, looking at Rob in the other room "I'm Edward's angel..."

Meanwhile, Punkwit and Lamerat were having a conversation of their own.

"I know it was you, Lamerat"

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"You posted the alternative fanfic lists on the New Moon IMDb board and the Robert Pattinson IMDb board!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Punkwit"

"I think you do," said Lamerat "and now you must DIE"

With that, Punkwit pulled out a shotgun from behind her leg and steadily aimed it at Lamerat. Lamerat totally freaked out and ran through the woods, but Punkwit was close behind her seething with hatred, gun still aimed.

"It wasn't me!" screamed Lamerat "You've got it wrong!"

"I never trusted you" seethed Punkwit "you're more loyal to Wide Awake than you are to Twilight, you were never one of us!"

The pursuit continued through the leaves and tangled tree roots, Lamerat started to tire and stumble, Punkwit maintained her speed.

Just as Punkwit was about to close in on Lamerat, Lamerat tripped on another tree root. Her body flung forward through the air and she landed face-first into he undergrowth. The speed and force of the fall forced her legs to swivel behind her and her body to slip backwards, away from Punkwit. Punkwit looked ahead and realized there was a gigantic cliff ahead of them, and that Lamerat's lower half was slipping off the crevice!

"Save me!" Lamerat screamed.

"I'm trying to kill you, idiot" replied Punkwit as she raised the shotgun to her shoulder and aimed it at Lamerat.

Lamerat grabbed hold of a tree in the midst of her fall. Her body dangled off the cliff face while she desperately tried to pull herself up. She looked frantically at the water far beneath her.

Then, suddenly the ground shook. In the distance there was a giant explosion. Fire shot out from the forest canopy and a deafening noise filled the air. 'The Hut!' the two minions yelled in unison. Punkwit looked at Lamerat and stamped on one of her hands "Just die, will you?" she said as Lamerat fell backwards off the edge of the cliff and plummeted into the choppy seas below.

"Now that the bomb has been detonated," Punkwit said to herself "I can unleash my army of monkey super soldiers..."

She laughed an evil laugh and headed back towards the Hut. Cabin. Whatever.