"You move and give me the seat, woman." "Or what? You'll bite me?" EmxB

Yeah, yeah, I know: Emmett and Rosalie are perfect for each other. But, what if? Tell me what you think, my loves. Enjoy.

xoxo—ei

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


LOVE BITES

Chapter 1— Meeting

EmPOV

"Looks like your husband still doesn't have it, Rose!" I playfully wiped my fingernails on my shirt, grinning at Edward whose front was streaked with red. "Take it easy, kid."

Jasper smirked at him.

"I thought I told you to stop calling me that," He snapped. "I'm older than you in at least one way."

"It was a lynx!" I chided him playfully. "I fight bears all the time."

"You lost your first one."

I shrugged good-naturedly, trying not to show how it bothered me. "But not one since."

"Oh, come on, Edward, This is not a competition." Alice grumbled. "Men," she added under her breath with a touch of asperity.

"Honestly, Edward, I think I might have to start taking Emmett hunting instead." Rosalie teased.

"Okay, that's enough," Edward muttered. "It's time for school; let's go, everyone." He took Rose's hand and the two of them started the sprint back to our cars parked at the edge of the wood. Alice, Jasper, and I followed.

"Let's take my car." Rosalie's eyes traveled to her glossy M3.

"No," Edward shook his head. "It's too pretentious."

"Let her take it," I wheedled. "It's not everyday we get to race."

Rose never argued with her husband, which baffled me. Rosalie had been such a handful when she first joined us, still fuming from the outrages of her human life. But then, she mated with Edward and he...tamed her.

"Besides," I added. "Today's our first day. We have to make an impression."

Rosalie's smirk widened to match mine. We were the most impressive of our family and we took pride in it.

Rose and Alice dipped into the house so they could coordinate in order to match the brilliant crimson of the car.

When they had disappeared inside, Edward hissed at me in spite of the fact that they were still in earshot: "I wish you'd stop making me out to be the bad guy all the time!"

"The bad guy?" I said incredulously. "Edward, you are the only guy."

He scowled, glaring at the M3; I didn't have to be a telepath to see he was jealous, but, of what? That Rose and I had such an easy, amiable relationship? That he had to share her with his family?

"Kid, you can read my head, I'm not lying. It's you that she's married to. We might be close, but she only thinks of me as a brother."

Jasper came to my defense. "He's right, Edward. Lay off, won't you? You're upsetting Alice."

Edward snapped at the blond vampire who rolled his eyes petulantly.

I sighed. "The faster you realize, the better it will be for all us, kid. Grow up a little."

Rosalie and Alice pranced back out, much too ostentatious for such a small town, but we were bound to draw eyes wherever we went. A few extra glances all around wouldn't be lethal.

Edward took her hand and pulled her in for a kiss, his eyes swiveling to take in my reaction and, no doubt, monitoring for a resentful edge to my thoughts.

I shrugged to let him know he was acting like a child.

"Oh, grow up, Edward!" Alice snapped.

"What?" He asked defensively.

"What are you trying to prove?" Alice asked crossly. "What was that show for? You are married to Rose. Not Emmett. He doesn't even think of her that way."

"You don't find her attractive?" He asked me skeptically.

"I never said that. Of course, Rose is great-looking" she beamed at me"but she's my sister. You're my brother. I suppose, I just don't understand why that simple logic seems beyond your 'superior intellectual capabilities.'"

"It's like you're being a monster on purpose," Alice joked, referring to his latest 'I'm-a-hellbound-monster' craze. Edward had recently re-discovered religion and, in doing so, decided that we were all destined for hell and there were no two ways about it.

Jasper laughed. "But then again, what can you expect from monsters like us, right?"

"It isn't funny." Edward scowled, looking around at us.

Sharing at laugh at his expense, we set off for the new high school.

Unsurprisingly, our entrance at the school was nothing less than show-stopped. Certainly, it wasn't as if we needed to try to make an impression, but sometimes Sundance-ing it wasn't enough; we needed to go full-out A-List Hollywood on this school's derriere.

Alice had timed it perfectly.

A powerful gale was blowing as we zoomed into the parking lot. The low purr of the Saab drew heads and Rosalie's M3 caused double-takes all around. We shut off the engines simultaneously.

There was a moment of interlude, where the curiosity in the parking lot peaked, before we emerged into the view of the awestruck mortals.

Rosalie was stunning, as she swept her blond hair from one side to the other. Edward's, clutching her hand childishly – he was obviously still thinking about our conversation, eyes blazed intensely across the array of stunned students.

Alice seemed to dance forward, with an inhuman grace, simply outdoing herself in a fashion that would break a ballerina's heart. Jasper followed close behind her, trying not to let the flood of emotions pressing against his psyche overwhelm, his serious expression enchanting with his angel's face that would humiliate Botticelli.

And I?

I, the apparent bodyguard, the lone man out, glided a step behind them like the security detail to the Royal Family ready for an assassination attempt.

I was terrifying.

(=,..,=)

We headed to the main office, the bell above the door ringing cheerfully to announce our arrival. The receptionist looked up and back down to the notepad she was writing on, and then did a double take, her mouth falling open so wide we heard her jaw crack.

"Uhhnnhh…" She simply said. And then, jumping to attention, she said primly, "May I help you?" She spoke directly to Edward until Rose, very conspicuously, snaked an arm around his waist. The receptionist blinked and looked to Rose and then away, obviously intimidated by her beauty.

"We're new here," Jasper answered. "Surnames are Cullen and Hale; we need our schedules."

She turned to him, smiling in a rather lewd manner–Edward winced–until she caught sight of Alice's hand intertwined with Jaspers. and nodded. Her eyebrows rose and I could easily imagine how raunchy her thoughts were as she riffled through papers, one eye still on Jasper. So, just to make it perfectly clear, Jasper leaned down, cupped Alice's face in his hand, and kissed her.

Ms. Cope turned a delicious grapefruit pink as Alice's eyebrow arched, daring the woman to say something.

Realizing a lost cause when she saw one, the randy Ms. Cope rifled through a stack of papers and handed us our schedules, "Hale, Rosalie...Hale, Jasper...Cullen, Alice...Cullen, Edward...Cullen, Emmett--"

She looked around for me, the idea of a partner-less Cullen engaging her wild imagination at least until she laid eyes on me. I heard her heart actually stop beat and then stutter as it restarted, her body heaving as she launched herself away from me in her wheely chair.

I've still got it, I thought triumphantly.

"Emmett, uh, Cullen" she laughed nervously, her heart going a mile a minute as she handed me my schedule. "I-I didn't see you there…" She handed me my schedule with trembling fingers.

"Don't know how you could have missed," I replied cheerfully, showing her my full, white set of teeth.

"Well, that was certainly revolting," Alice whispered to us, as we regrouped back out in the hall.

Rose threw her head back and laughed and a few of the boys nearby actually froze moving to watch her, mesmerized. "It's like these people have never had vampires before...where is it cloudier?"

"Where are we off to?" hummed Alice, her musical voice too high for the humans. "Jasper and I are off to P.E. Ooooh, I hope they don't force us to wear those repulsive shorts."

"I'm sure they would still look darlin' on you," Jasper grinned at her. "Shall we?" He offered her an arm and they walked off toward the gym.

"C'mon, Emmett. You and I have English." Rosalie said, eying my schedule sheet. Edward kissed her and set off for his own class, Calculus. "And so it begins," Rose muttered. "I wish I could have stayed home with Esme this year. School is so tedious."

"It won't be that bad. I'll make it fun." I promised her as we easily made our way through the crowded hall (people were giving us a wide berth).

"What did you have in mind?" She asked, a devious smile spreading across her face.

As far as high school requirements went, English was as tedious as it tended to get. Of course, this provided an opportunity for us to...entertain ourselves as it were.

When we entered, there were two boys sitting in the two seats farthest from both the teacher and the window.

This gave me my first idea.

I nodded meaningfully in their direction and Rose, tossing her hair over her shoulder, walked over to their table-I grinned as several girls in the class glowered resentfully at her: even when she didn't try, she appeared as though she was walking down a catwalk-–and tapped one of the humans on the shoulder.

He brushed it off impatiently.

Rose's eyes glowed with anger and she tapped him again.

The boy behind him who could actually see Rosalie gaped at her.

His curiosity piqued, the first boy turned around and his eyes widened.

"Hi," Rose purred.

"Hello, beautiful," he returned in what he obviously thought was a winning tone. "How you doin'?"

"Not bad."

She winked.

I could feel his core temperature rise from several feet away. Charming...

"I'm Tyler."

"Rosalie."

"Do you have a boyfriend, Rosalie?" He asked.

"Yes," She answered, holding back laughter.

"Well, when you want a manfriend, call me." He grinned hugely.

I was doubled over in laughter.

"Do you mind if I could sit in your seat?" She asked, tilting her head.

The first boy looked delighted beyond words; he took his backpack off his lap and declared himself free. "Go ahead, blondie."

She tittered behind one perfectly manicured hand. "You're so silly. I want sit in your seat, not your lap."

He looked confused. "In my seat. Next to him?"

The boy who had first seen her looked ecstatic. "Yeah, split Tyler!"

The human called Tyler grudgingly left his seat and found another one on the other side of the room, still fuming under his breath about the indignity about being found unsuitable to Rose. I caught his eye as he cast another longing look at Rose across the room and proceeded to snap three pencils with my hand. I waited until he drew his eyes to mine and then pointed at the pencils, at him, to Rose, and then feigned a punch that would have cracked his cranium.

The remaining boy introduced himself as Ben. "Do you like manga?" He asked her then.

"Of course, there's just something so drawn out about it, don't you agree?"

"Exactly!" Ben said enthusiastically, so clearly enthralled that a woman was finally giving him the time of day he didn't even see me approach.

"Hey bud," I growled, pitching my voice a tone lower. "You want to move?" I asked with a hint of a snarl.

"N-no..."

I nudged him, accidentally pitching him over his desk. He raised his head, his glasses askew, and cringed away from my hulking figure.

"Excuse me?"

I raised an arm that was as thick around as his neck and raised three fingers that were probably bigger than anything he was endowed with. He gazed at them, and gulped as he broke out in a cold sweat.

"You've got til the count of three."

He was gone before I got to two.

(=,..,=)

After English, Rose and I went our separate ways.

When I got to Calculus, again there was someone sitting in my ideal seat. There were two of them actually, since I would have preferred to have a table to myself rather than suffer a nosey partner. The consolation, at least, was that I didn't have to suffer the indignities the others underwent. Women, regardless of age, didn't usually approach: my bulk seem to scare them off.

As I approached, one of the girls fled, telling her friend that they would talk after class.

"Excuse me?"

Manga-loving Ben from the earlier class was sitting next the girl's friend. He watched me warily out of the corner of his, as though expecting me to use the same tactics on this girl.

The remaining girl turned to face me, pushing mahogany hair out of her eyes so that she wafted the fragrance of her blood toward me in renewed wisps. She was surprisingly pale for a human, almost vampire-like in her coloring; I would have thought she was one of us if I hadn't smelled the pungent blood rushing through her veins.

She looked me up and down in what she obviously thought was a surreptitious fashion and then she was all smiles.

"Yes?" She asked sweetly.

"Do you mind moving?" I asked, curtly.

"What?"

"Can you move? You know, relocate? Make tracks? Scram?"

"Why?" She asked.

"Because I-" I paused. I wasn't accustomed to being questioned by humans. "I'd like to sit here."

She gestured to the empty seat next to her almost playfully.

"I like to sit by myself," I said, frowning.

"So do I," She teased slyly. "You're welcome to sit elsewhere."

Why was this girl, whose neck I could snap with a flick of my wrist, not frightened by my bulk and sinister demeanor? Had I lost my touch? The others had been so easy to deflect.

"Move, dammit!" I snarled, losing my patience.

She narrowed her eyes. "There's no need to be rude. I was here first, you know."

"I was right behind you! I could have been first!"

Her eyes twinkled. "Well, if you were first, you would be sitting here."

I leaned close to her until I could see myself reflecting in her eyes. "You move and give the seat, woman!" I wasn't about to let myself be bested by this, this...this girl.

She remained nonchalant. "Or what? You'll bite me?"

I froze.

"This isn't first grade," She said, frowning at me. "And I don't have cooties."

Relief spread throughout me. I started laughing loudly.

She looked confused.

I laughed harder, leaning on the desk for support.

I sat down next to her. "Point taken."

She smiled. "I'm Bella."

"Emmett."

(=,..,=)


Review. Please? Also, apparently (=,..,=) is the smiley version of a vampire.