Title: Outside Help
Rating: PG (one-shot)
Setting: Psych, season 3. Leverage, season 1 cause the team needs to be in LA.
Disclaimer: I own nothing and I make no profit off this fic or the characters.
Summary: Shawn and Gus are stumped on a robbery case so Shawn calls the best thief in the family for advice.
Author's Note: Part of my Spencer Boys verse. Oddly enough it takes place after A Man Short even though that isn't finished yet. All you really have to know is that Shawn and Eliot are cousins and Shawn already knows the members of the Leverage team.
It was Tuesday morning in Santa Barbara, the sun was shining which went along well with Shawn's mood because him and Gus had a case, which they discussed as they entered the office with freshly bought popsicles.
"You know, my Dad says there is no such thing as a perfect crime, but I gotta say, this one's pretty close. No fingerprints, no footprints, no witnesses, no camera footage, not even a smudge in some dust. Absolutely no sign that anyone was even in the museum," Shawn recounted of the crime scene, extremely impressed. "I'm beginning to think someone invented a teleporter and zapped that hat out of there. According to the most recent episodes of Dawson's Creek it's totally possible."
"First of all, that's a sci-fi show called Fringe starring Joshua Jackson and by its very definition the stuff on it can't happen. Second, a million dollar, jewel encrusted tiara is not a hat," Gus retorted.
"I know that, but I refuse to use that word," Shawn replied.
"That's the one," Shawn affirmed, sitting at his desk and putting his feet up.
"What I can't understand is how they were able to open up that Cobalt 7000 safe, it's the best on the market, it's nigh unbreakable," Gus announced.
"Nigh? Has your vocabulary traveled back in time two hundred years?" Shawn questioned, mocking. He threw his mini-basketball up in the air and asked, "All right my knower of all things safe-related, how do you break into the Cobalt 7000?"
"You don't," Gus said firmly.
"Yes, but somebody did, so theoretically, how would they do it?"
"They wouldn't. It's got a triple tumbler defense lock, shatter glass that activates the titanium double locking mechanism, voice recognition lock and keypad entry. You can't break into it."
Shawn shook his head, "Gus, you're telling me all its strengths. What are its weaknesses? A thief would focus on its weaknesses."
Gus shrugged, "I don't know, the surrounding walls are only an inch thick but none of them were cut through, so that can't be how they did it."
"All right, I think we're going to need outside help for this one," Shawn decided, pulling out his cell phone.
"Shawn, in case you haven't noticed, we are the outside help! Who are you calling?" Gus asked as Shawn scrolled through his contact list.
"An expert consultant. Use a thief, to catch a thief," Shawn said with dramatic wisdom.
Gus scoffed, "So you're going to catch this guy yourself then?"
"Hey, when did I get shifted into the 'thief' category? Name one thing I've ever stolen!"
"My chocolate bar in the third grade …"
"I thought it might have peanuts, I was trying to save your life."
"That box of pens from the police station this morning …"
"How do you know I don't plan on returning those with a personalized message on each and every one?"
"Tiffany Monaghan from Joey Heyman at the tenth grade dance."
"Gus! How dare you think of people as possessions that can be stolen and traded. I'm ashamed of you! And I'm going to call Eliot before you think of any more examples," Shawn mumbled as he hit 'send' on his phone.
Gus rolled his eyes and continued anyway, counting off on his fingers all the other things Shawn had stolen over the years, "Your father's newspaper every Saturday, my idea for a glass toaster so you can see when your toast is done, my childhood!"
"You forgot the love and affection of women across the globe, now shh, it's ringing," Shawn hissed.
"Yeah?" Eliot answered casually, making Shawn unsure if he had checked his caller id.
"Eliot! It's Shawn. How's the international life of crime treating you? Are you sitting in a lavish rotating chair, stroking a cat, surrounded by stolen artwork as you plot your next crime?" Shawn asked cheerfully.
"No Shawn, I nearly killed a man with a lemon a few hours ago and now I'm back at the office. What do you want?" Eliot demanded, but Shawn heard only fatigue in his voice, not true annoyance.
"I need a consult on a case I'm working. Some art, jewelry thing got stolen and I could use an expert opinion. Mind if I run some facts by you?" Shawn enquired.
He heard Eliot sigh and it sounded like he sat down, indicating this could take awhile, "What do you got?"
"Great! A girly, headband thing with some diamonds on it got stolen from the museum downtown," Shawn explained.
"Dude, I can't believe you used that word. Lose ten cool points. Anyway, no alarms were tripped, no one was spotted anywhere by a person or camera and there's no sign of anyone being in the museum or how the vault was forced open," Shawn explained vaguely, knowing Eliot would ask for specifics as he needed them.
"All right. But you know actual art thieves are more rare than you'd think, are you sure it wasn't an inside job?"
"Yeah, I talked to all the staff and security and janitors, I didn't get a vibe off any of them," Shawn told him.
"Maybe that's because you're not a real psychic," Gus muttered across the room as he worked at his laptop. Shawn threw his mini-basketball at him to shut him up.
"What kind of security system?" Eliot asked.
"Gus! Security system?" Shawn yelled, knowing he had memorized the specifics.
"Oh, now you need my help?" Gus taunted in response, throwing the ball back at him.
"Gus! Just … this is long distance you know!" Shawn hissed.
Gus rolled his eyes and said loudly, "The safe was a Cobalt 7000. The museum has a standard government issue security system, four night guards and the Remington 1700 laser grid around the safe."
Eliot paused as he thought that over for a second, "When was it stolen?"
"Two nights ago," Shawn said. "The Chief didn't call us in right away, she thought they could handle it themselves for some reason. We showed them."
"Yeah, cause you're doing a whole lot of work right now," Gus muttered again.
"Just a second," Eliot told him and Shawn could hear him stand and walk out of whatever room he had been in and enter a different one. "Parker!"
Eliot's phone was at his side now but Shawn could hear the conversation perfectly.
"Yeah?" a feminine voice replied.
"You go out of town this weekend? Stop by Santa Barbara, by any chance?"
Shawn could almost picture her shrugging nonchalantly.
"Nate said no more side jobs," Eliot protested.
"In town," Parker corrected him "I wasn't in town. I left town. Besides, I was bored."
Eliot growled but walked away, bringing the phone back up to his ear, "Hey Shawn, sorry about that."
"Parker stole the tia … thing," Shawn asked incredulously, stopping himself before he said the far too girly word.
"What?" Gus exclaimed standing up. He hadn't met Eliot's team but Shawn had described them all to him and he had heard she was one of the good guys.
"Yeah, and she's real apologetic," Eliot yelled, as though he could force regret onto the blond thief. "I'll make her put it back later this week."
"Actually, if you wouldn't mind, it would really help me out if …"
"All right, I'll have it delivered to your office so you can say you found it psychically," Eliot promised, sounding very unimpressed with the charade Shawn put on for his job.
"Sweet. Thank you!" Shawn said happily and was about to hang up before Gus interrupted desperately.
"Wait! How did she break into that safe? It's completely unbreakable and it looks like she never even touched it!" Gus shouted.
"Eliot?" Shawn asked, knowing he had heard the request.
"Just a second," Eliot grumbled and could be heard going back into the other room. "Parker, Shawn wants to know how you broke into the safe."
"I didn't. That safe's unbreakable," she called back.
Gus was leaning his ear against Shawn's phone now and jumped up in triumph, "See, I told you."
"How'd you get the tiara out then?" Eliot asked before Shawn could.
"The Cobalt's made of Magnalium, it's hard but it's light. The whole thing only weighs about sixty pounds. I brought an empty safe with me and switched them, then I cut the tiara out with a blowtorch back at the hotel."
Eliot nodded, impressed and asked, "Satisfied?"
"Quite, yes, I may even need a cigarette," Shawn quipped back, then added quickly. "Oh, and tell Parker that next time she's bored and in Santa Barbara she's welcome to drop by any …"
Shawn looked at his cell phone after Eliot hung up, "Hmm, signal must have dropped out."
"It must have, no one would ever hang up on you," Gus commented sarcastically, going back to his desk.
"Well, that's that case solved, the head thingy should be here in a couple of days. We'll plant it somewhere, I'll have a vision, leads Lassie and Jules right to it, we all win," Shawn exclaimed happily.
"Yeah, and all we had to do was call two internationally wanted criminals to get it back, there's no way we'll ever get caught or go to jail," Gus grumbled unhappily then he clicked open an email on his laptop and his eyes widened. "Whoa."
"What is it? Is Menudo finally getting back together? Please tell me there'll be a tour," Shawn asked, earning a suspicious glare from Gus.
"No, it's a newsalert about the museum. The tiara was originally donated to the museum to display for a month and the owner, William Hellstrom, just issued a $25,000 reward for its safe return," Gus announced.
Shawn's eyes widened as well, "Twenty-five grand? For the thing getting sent here in a few days?"
"You know what this means, don't you?"
"Why do I have a feeling you're not going to suggest investing the reward money and finally building a strong financial backing for this company?"
"Because that would be boring and responsible," Shawn replied, then he moved across the room and pushed a table and guest chair away from the corner near the entrance, then he stood in the now empty space, arms wide. "Two words: Smoothie. Bar."
Hope you enjoyed.