Title: That Potter Slash
Author: Minerva McTabby

Pairings: as many as I could
Rating: probably smutty enough for R
Summary: Green Eggs and Ham parody. 'Nuff said.
Categories: humor, parody
Disclaimer: I solemnly swear that I'm up to no disrespect for the work of JK Rowling or Dr Seuss. And I'm not making a Knut off this.
Archive: yes, for god's sake spread it across the galaxy EG
Notes: Dedicated to all HP slash writers. Especially Telanu, JayKay, Ailei, Lyle, Rhysenn, PhatGirl, Seeker, and lady of shalott. Wishing you good writing vibes for 2002.

THAT POTTER SLASH

Trash-I-am!
Call-me-Trash!

That Call-me-Trash!
That Call-me-Trash!
I do not like
that Call-me-Trash!

Would you like
some Potter slash?

I do not like it,
Call-me-Trash.
I do not read
that Potter slash.

Would you like some
Draco/Ron?

I would not like some
Draco/Ron.
Tell them to put their
clothes back on.
I do not like
that Potter slash.
I do not like it,
Call-me-Trash.

Would you like some
Lupin/Black?
Naked Remus
on his back?

I would not like some
Lupin/Black.
I think I'd have
a heart attack.
I would not like some
Draco/Ron.
Tell them to put their
clothes back on.
I do not like that Potter slash.
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Would you read
a Seamus scene?
Can you see him
blowing Dean?

No Seamus/Dean.
That's quite obscene.
No Lupin/Black.
No heart attack.
I would not read that Draco/Ron.
Tell them to put their clothes back on.
I would not read that Potter slash.
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Would you? Could you?
Harry/Snape?
Read it! Read it!
No escape!

I would not,
Could not,
Harry/Snape.

You may like it.
It's so good.
You may like this
Percy/Wood.

I would not, could not Percy/Wood.
Nor Harry/Snape! Don't think they should.
I do not like that Seamus/Dean.
I do not like it, sight unseen.
I do not like that Lupin/Black.
No naked Remus on his back.
I do not like that Draco/Ron.
Tell them to put their clothes back on.
I do not like that Potter slash.
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Try James! Try James!
Try James! Try James!
Could you, would you,
Lucius/James?

No Lucius/James! No Percy/Wood!
No Harry/Snape! Trash! Understood?
I would not, could not, Seamus/Dean.
I would not, could not, it's obscene.
I will not read that Lupin/Black.
I think I'd have a heart attack.
I will not read that Draco/Ron.
Tell them to put their clothes back on.
I do not read that Potter slash.
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Say!
George on Fred?
Or Fred on George?
Would you, could you, Fred and George?

I would not, could not,
Fred and George.

Would you read some
twincest games?

I would not read those twincest games.
Not George and Fred. Not Lucius/James.
Not Harry/Snape. Not Percy/Wood.
I do not like them, Trash. No good.
Not Lupin/Black. No Seamus scene.
No heart attack. No blowing Dean.
I will not read that Draco/Ron.
They can all go put their clothes back on!

You do not like that Potter slash?

I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

Snape and Lupin
in the Tower?

I would not want them
in the Tower!

Or Harry/Draco
in the shower?

I could not watch them in the shower.
Or Snape and Lupin in the Tower.
I will not read any twincest games.
I will not read that Lucius/James.
No Fred and George! No Percy/Wood!
No Harry/Snape! That understood?
I do not like that Seamus scene.
I do not like him blowing Dean.
I will not read that Lupin/Black.
No naked Remus on his back.
I do not like that Draco/Ron.
It simply DOESN'T TURN ME ON!

(insert total collapse here)

I do not like that Potter slash!
I do not like it, Call-me-Trash.

You do not like it.
So you squick.
Try it! Try it!
It's not sick.
Try it - and it just might click.

Trash!
If you will go away,
I will try it.
Make my day.

(insert very, very nervous look here)

(R E A D I N G)

Trash!
I like this Potter slash!
I do! I like it, Call-me-Trash!

Get Harry/Draco in the shower.
And Snape with Lupin in the Tower...
And I will read some twincest games
with Fred and George. Then Lucius/James.
And Harry/Snape. And Percy/Wood.
These fics are really, really good!
So I will read that Seamus scene.
I want to see him blowing Dean.
And I will read that Lupin/Black
with naked Remus on his back.
And I will read some Draco/Ron.
All these pairings TURN ME ON!

I do so like
this Potter slash!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Call-me-Trash!

THE END