Lyrics taken from So Tonight That I Might See by Mazzy Star.

So Tonight That I Might See
Sunshine On A Rainy Day

Come up crash with the muses fells dust into ash
Come so close that I might see the light inside me, I might see

A tiny pearl of sweat ran down from my hairline, tickling the overheated skin on my temple, leaving a shiny trail across my rosy cheek, framing my soft jaw line before it flew over the edge and continued its journey over my neck, goose bumps blossoming all over my skin, a shiver running through every nerve ending in my body until the drop reached the rise of my collarbone and stopped moving there.

Each intake of breath I took was a hissing sound, my throat raspy and over stimulated, each outtake deep and heavy - breathy. Loud and desperate. I could not get enough air into my lungs, neither did the outcoming amounts satisfy my need for oxygen and air exchange.

The rise and fall of my chest with each agonizing breath, the quivering of my exposed stomach, the contractions of all my muscles…

My mouth was as dry as a desert, my tongue glued to my sticky palatine, lips dry, swollen and slightly parted to ease the ordeal of breathing. Every now and then, my bottom lip, already chapped because of the arid air, got caught between my teeth, little shreds of dead skin gnawed off.

Let me hold you tight and arms tight and arms you lost your chance
Come so close that I might see the crash of light come down on me

My eyelids fluttered closed as I felt a warm fingertip follow the humid trail running from my hairline to collarbone, and the breath I had been taking got caught halfway down my throat and shot back up, leaving my mouth as a breathy moan.

The contracting muscles in my chest now sent signals to different muscles in my body and I felt my already shivering stomach clench almost painfully as other fingers, a whole warm and soft hand, rested against it, singular fingertips drawing baroque patterns, others just still and immobile.

As the fingertip trailed my collarbone, having abandoned the sweaty trail already, the feeling and awareness in my own fingers and hands returned slowly, almost as if they had been numb and now life returned in tiny steps, each nerve awaking with a jolt of electricity.

I slowly lifted my former lifeless arm and clutched my hand at the first thing that came into my way – a shoulder blade. The plain patterns my own fingers drew on the hot skin were mostly due to the trembling, the lack of control I was having over my own body and more and more the tips buried themselves into the skin, holding on to anything… for nothing… just holding on.

Not wanting to ever let go.


With good luck I'll find the dark, stop me now
Find me to your heart

A warm, damp breath tickled the sensitive skin right below my left ear and a shiver spread out through my entire body, down my spine, goose bumps raising all over my skin, another breathy moan slipping through my lips.


Jacob's voice was just as whispery and compressed, full of exhaustion, breathy, as mine. His body on top of mine, pushing me into the cushions of the small couch, his long legs dangling over the edge, was trembling just as mine, each of his muscles, being a lot of them, twitching with each tiny movement.

"Jake… I… we… Billy, he'll…"

Soft, quivering lips touched the skin beneath my ear, brushing softly against my throat, preventing me from finishing my barely audible sentence. They trailed down my throat, covering each inch of skin with a feather light touch.

"I know, Bells… just…"

"I know…"

Let me hold you tight like rain and sunshine on a rainy day
See the lights
Come so close that I might see, see the light come down on me
Searching like the fresh goes by small like wind refuse to die

Jacob's hand on my stomach was inching upwards, along my right side, my heartbeat racing more and more with each inch his hands wandered north, slipping over every single rib. I felt as if no air made its way into my lungs but somehow I kept on breathing, living… I was still so alive.


His other hand brushed gently across my collarbone, over my skin and rested at the nape of my neck, his fingertips drawing small circles there, moving in and out of my hair.

"How long do we have?"

Free me now so I can see the taste of wind who lock me
Does the wind indeed like me

"Only a couple of minutes… Bells…"

My name was less than a whisper, Jacob's lips now at my earlobe. I groaned in frustration, slinging both of my arms around Jacob's torso, my hands stroking up and down his back, trailing each string of muscle, feeling them twitch underneath my touch.

He moaned, the touch of his hand around my neck tightening, pulling me closer to his body. I answered by lifting my body from the cushions and pressing it as close as possible against Jacob, the touch of my exposed stomach against his bare chest causing yet another breathy moan from both of us.


I pushed myself even closer to Jacob, slinging my right leg around Jacobs's waist, letting it slip down slowly until it rested around his thigh. The slow movement caused Jacob to tremble even harder, his teeth gently crazing my earlobe.

With good luck I find the dark stop me now
Find me to your heart
Let me hold you tight like rain and sunshine on a rainy day


Jacob abandoned my ear and with one rough movement, he pulled my head closer to him, his lips crushing down on mine, moving almost violently against them. I answered with the same enthusiasm, our lips melting, my right hand pulling at Jacob's silky hair, the left pulling at the waistband of his sweats.

He moaned into my mouth, his free hand now moving across my chest. Again, I pressed myself closer against him, slinging my other leg around his waist as well, crossing my ankles over his thighs.

Jacob pulled his head away from me and I opened my eyes, meeting his black, warm gaze, full of passion, love and frustration. His hand reached the bottom of my shirt which had been hiked up to my collarbone and pulled it down now as far as he could reach between us.

"This is so unfair," I groaned in frustration, grinding my hips against Jacob's, causing us both to moan, my breathing, and probably his as well, as uneven as water running over a desiccated riverbed, each shelf an obstacle, hard to come over.

Let me hold you tight and arms tight and arms you lost your chance
Come so close that I might see the crash of light come down on me
The crash of light come down on me

"Bells, please…stop… Billy…"

I groaned again and eyed Jacob with as much frustration as I could; at least that had been my attempt until I saw a drop of sweat on Jacobs left temple, trailing down his dark russet skin ever so slowly, glistening in the dim light of the living room.


Jacob's voice was questioning, his breathing less erratic as he rested his hand on my cheek, cupping it softly, his thumb brushing over the skin which covered my cheekbone, flushed and fevered.

I withdrew my hand from around his neck and moved it to Jacob's temple, slightly brushing through his short and messy hair on my way until I reached my goal and caught the tiny pearl with the tip of my index finger.

Jacob's eyes fluttered closed, so he never saw how I retreated my finger from his burning skin and brought it against my strained lips, letting the salty liquid cover them, my tongue gliding over them a second later.

"I love you"

Let me hold you tight and arms tight and arms you lost your chance
Come so close that I might see the crash of light come down on me

The corners of my mouth pulled up, forming a shy smile as Jacob opened his eyes again, his words still lingering in the sticky air.

Jacob mirrored my smile, only was his so much more filled with fire and life – sunshine, as he lowered his lips to the tip of my nose, softly brushing them across my skin.

My eyelids fell closed; my breathing more controlled now, the slow flows of air running down my throat now less hindered, clearer. I inhaled through my nose, cherishing Jacob's woodsy scent, the way he smelled like the forest outside, like a crisp Sunday morning, a day at the beach.

With spin luck I'll find the dark stop me now find me to your heart
The crash of light come down on me
So tonight the crash goes by
Small like wind and refuse to die
The crash of light come down on me

A sigh escaped my mouth when Jacob parted from me, untangling my legs from around him and pulling my shirt down with him until it covered my stomach up to my belly button. Then he leaned down again, placing one feather light kiss right above it, making me shiver once again.

"Keep your window open tonight," he said as he lifted his head enough to watch me through his deep black lashes, a boyish grin on his face.

I laughed a little, my body still mostly out of my control, but I could already feel the pace of my heartbeat calming down while Jacob covered the rest over my exposed skin.

He leaned against the cushions, his legs stretched out, feet resting on the small coffee table, eyes fixed back on the long forgotten movie on the old television. It took me a little while to heave myself up and crawl the small distance across the couch until I was back at Jacob's side, curling there against him, my head buried in his shoulder.

I felt his soft, warm fingers intertwine with mine and smiled again, although he could not see it now. But I knew more than anything in this world that he could feel it.

And that was all that ever mattered.

Come so close that I might see, see the light come down on me
I hold you tight like rain
Sunshine on a rainy day