Title: When I Opened the Door

Author: Koohii Cafe

Rating: K

Crossover: BtVS/OHHC

Disclaimer: *checks* Nope, not mine!

Summary: Buffy goes in search of one of the new Slayers, but she has no idea what awaits her at this innocent seeming after school club.

Warning: Beware the terrifying that is the Host Club. XD

Author's notes: Set after season seven of BtVS; the comics are not taken into account.


"When I opened the door there were…"

Flowers. Roses to be exact, silken red petals swirling toward her in a miniature tornado. That was so not natural! Wasn't this supposed to just be some after school club? Throwing an arm up to protect her eyes from the petals and the bright light that blinded her through them, Buffy quickly moved forward and past the doors, only to be assaulted by a chorus of men's voices.

"Welcome princess!"

Okay, attacking with roses and musical welcomes? Well, it wasn't as if she hadn't seen stranger plans. The blonde lowered her arm to see her enemy- and was surprised to see a gathering of seven young men who could only be described as lovely, all draped in the luxurious dress of ancient Greek gods. Then, before she could process further-

"Ahhhh, a new guest!" With no warning (not even a tingle on her spidey sense!), he was upon her. "Oh most beautiful princess who graces us with her presence, let me welcome you to the Ouran Host Club! I, Suou Tamaki, the king of this club, am deeply honored to have one of your exquisite splendor in our midst! Do not fear, you have only to select one of us and we will attend to your every desire!"

Human, her Slayer sense screamed, but the way he had her chin cupped in her hand before she had hardly registered his proximity, somehow managing to sweep her off her feet and backward into a deep bow before she could think to resist… There was no way. There was totally something of the supernatural variety going on here, and it took all of her control not to throw the scarily gorgeous blond boy across the room. Instead, she used the bow to her advantage, flipping from his arms and out of reach in an impressive display of flexibility.

"Hands off, buddy. I don't know who or what you are, but me? Total non-touchy territory." Taking a firm legs apart stance, ready to defend herself from another attack if need be, the small Slayer planted her hands on her hips and glared at the shocked boy.

"Ahhh." One of the boys, dark haired, tall, and spectacled (did the Greek even have glasses?), stepped forward. "Forgive Tamaki; he has a tendency to be overly- appreciative." Sixth sense said this one was human too, but it had to be lying. There was something terrifying about the way he pushed his glasses up, causing them to glint brightly and obscure his eyes from even her sight. The sneakily soothing tone of his voice was nothing to be sneezed at either. "You must be Buffy Summers. I had heard your organization was sending a representative to Ouran, but I had no idea that it would be someone as highly placed as yourself, or that you would be visiting our humble Host Club." Right. Definitely not human. "Allow me to introduce myself; I am Ootori Kyouya, the vice president of this club."

"Kyouya! You knew this stunning princess was coming and you didn't tell us?"

"Did I not just say that I was unaware of whom the representative was, Tamaki, and that I had no knowledge of her intention to visit the club?"

"How could you not?! Of course she would visit the Host Club! We are an irresistible attraction of this prestigious institution!"

The blond boy (had he introduced himself as Soup of Tomato?) was pointing accusingly at his vice president. The glare being leveled in his direction in return made Buffy's skin crawl. Considering some of the big bads and their accompanying glares she'd faced in the past, that had to say something. She was getting ready to interrupt- after all, she had a mission to carry out here, and she wanted to be done and away from these creepy humans-who-couldn't-possibly-be-humans as soon as possible- when someone else did so for her.

"Buffy Summers?"

The voice was directly behind her ear, and Buffy whipped her head around to find a stunning red headed boy had somehow managed to sneak up on her without a single warning from her spidey sense (the second time in as many minutes!).

"I don't think I've heard that name, but it's certainly lovely, isn't it Hikaru?"

There was another one on her other side!

"A lovely name for a lovely princess is only fitting, isn't it Kaoru?"

"And such a lovely princess deserves the best of hosts."

"So I guess that means she's ours."

Hands! Once again with the touching, except there were two pairs this time, two sets of arms entwining themselves around her. And somehow, they were in perfect unison, perfect mirror images of where their hands touched and traveled. A flip wouldn't get her out of this one; the boys had wrapped themselves in a way to ensure that. And as much as she was sure that they couldn't be human- none of them!- she would probably hurt them if she forced her way out. Opening her mouth to issue another warning-

"Get off her, you guys. Didn't you hear her when she told Tamaki-senpai not to touch her?"

There was a sane person here! The hands withdrew, grumbling as Buffy quickly put space between she and them, and she turned to face her savior; a short brunette boy who looked almost feminine.

"You ruin all our fun, Haruhi!"

"Yeah, we just wanted to show her a good time!"

"I know you two better than that," the boy admonished with flat eyes, then glanced in her direction. "Besides, I think Summers-san looked ready to hit you both." Turning away from the grumping mirror images, the boy sighed and shook his head. "I'm sorry about that, Summers-san. Kyouya-senpai was right; Tamaki-senpai and those two can really be overly excitable about new guests."

"Uh huh." Finish her mission, get the hell out of here. "Look, I'm only here for one thing. I'm looking for-"

"Summers-sama." Glasses Guy had apparently finished with Tomato Soup and come to stand behind the smaller boy who'd rescued Buffy. "May I assume that you are here looking for a young woman?"

"Right." And he knew way too much, even considering the front for the Watcher's Council's search for slayers was a young women's school. "If you can help me find her, I'd be uh- very grateful."

"Indeed." Something about his voice sent shivers down her spine, even as Tomato Soup, Mirror and Mirror, and the last two boys she had yet to meet pulled together around and behind the short brunette. For some reason, it seemed an almost protective move to her. "As a host club, we have a good number of young women who visit often. If you could give me a name, I would be glad to assist you."

"Sure. I'm looking for…" She paused, trying hard to actually pronounce the name correctly. "Haruhi Fujioka."

It was impossible to miss the looks that flew between the seven boys. Something was up there. She opened her mouth to speak again, but instead a boy who couldn't have been more than ten stepped up with a bright smile.

"Buffy-chan, that can't be! Haru-chan is right here, but he's not a girl! He's a boy, silly!" The little boy wrapped his arms around the brunette and giggled, even as the seventh and last club member- the tallest of the group with shaggy dark hair- gently plucked the blond boy up and placed him on his shoulders.

"Mitsukuni. Be polite."

"Takashi!" Wow. She'd never known tears could appear that quickly or that magically. "Buffy-chan, I'm sorry! You're not silly!"

"Wait…" Blinking, she turned her gaze onto the boy (girl?) in question, the very same one who had rescued her from Mirror Mirror. "You're Hair-whoopie?"

"Yeah, but-"

"As you can see, Honey-senpai is correct." Glasses cut the other boy off curtly. "I'm afraid that you've come a very long way for a mistake, Summers-sama. As he is of the wrong gender, Haruhi would be unable to attend your academy."

"Academy? What? Kyouya-senpai, I-"

"I must deeply apologize for the misinformation. As a member of the Ootori family, I would be willing to compensate you for your journey. I have a sincere respect for your work, and I hope you will turn to the Ootori name for business in the future. Now, if I may, shall I call an escort for you to return to your hotel, Summers-sama?"

"You know, that's great, but I think I can manage on my own." Buffy backed away a bit, worried by the gleam in Glasses' eyes. So, mission was a bust. It wouldn't be the first. Time to blow this popsicle stand and get the hell out of dodge. "So thanks, but, no thanks."

She didn't so much as look twice before turning and running-while-trying-to-look-casual. There was something really freakily unnatural about these people.