Disclaimer: Jay Naylor created Better Days; I did not. Savvy?

Jason's Adventures in Babysitting!


"Is she here yet, dear?"

This is the question asked by one Mrs. Elizabeth Black as she walked over to join her husband by the door. They were going out to celebrate New Year's Eve, and their babysitter was getting close to being late.

Fisk turned from the window he was keeping a lookout through. "No, not yet. Listen, honey, if you're worried, we can just cancel stay here." In truth, he really didn't want to cancel. It was going to be their first night out since Janie had been born, and they were both in serious need of some "alone" time.

"Oh Fisk, I know how much you've been looking forward to this, and besides, this new year is going to be special. It's not every year that a new millennium begins, after all."

"Yeah, I suppo-" suddenly, the sound of a car pulling into the driveway could be heard. "Oh good, she's finally here."

As they waited for the person to get to the door, Elizabeth asked "So tell me again, who is Angela, and why is she a good choice for a babysitter?"

Straightening the collar on his suit, Fisk replied "She's someone from work; someone I think is very dependable. And to answer your second question, she used to be Ryan's bodyguard, so she's very good at keeping track of things. Why do you ask?"

"No reason" she responded, a little too quickly. Fisk looked at her with a wearied face, as if this wasn't the first time this had happened. "Now honey, it's nothing like that, she is just a good friend. And besides," he cast a look left and right, and then motioned for her to lean closer. "I think she has the hots for-"

Ding Dong!

"-I'll get it." Fisk walked over and unlocked the door. Opening the door, Fisk started saying "We were beginning to wonder if you woul-" and then he saw who was standing on the other side.

"Hiya Fish!"

"…Jason? What are you doing here?"

"Well first, may I come in? It's really cold out here." Fisk nodded and stepped aside, allowing Jason to walk by into the house. "Wow, nice place you got here. I like the tile, yeah. I've been wondering what kind place you lived in." His eyes came to rest on Elizabeth. "Damn Fisk, you know how to pick 'em." Walking over to where she was standing, Jason performed a ridiculously overdone bow. "Jason Black, at your service m'lady."

Elizabeth couldn't help but giggle at his antics. "So, you are the new cousin my husband has been talking about the past couple of months. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Although, to be honest, we were expecting someone else."

"Yeah, about that." Jason stood back up and turned to face Fisk. "Angela was called away for a last-minute assignment. She'll be gone for the next two, maybe three weeks, so she asked me to babysit for her. So," he exclaimed, turning back to Elizabeth. "Where's the lil' kiddy, eh?"

Fisk spoke up at this point. "She's in the first room up the stairs. Before Elizabeth and I go, let's go over some ground rules first…


20 minutes later.

…And whatever you do, no matter how much she begs, no matter how much she pleads, don't feed her after midnight. You have all of that?"

Jason nodded his head absentmindedly, thoughts focused on remembering all of the rules and guidelines. "Good. Come on Elizabeth, let's get going." They began leaving, only for Fisk to stop halfway out the door and turn back around to face Jason. "By the way, Jason, if anything happens to Janie, I'm gonna kill you, understood?" Jason gulped and nodded, not trusting himself to speak at the moment. Satisfied, Fisk shut the door and locked it, leaving Jason alone in the house with what was for the next several hours the most precious thing in existence.

"Aw hell, how hard could it be? She's only, what, one and a half?"

Having reassured himself with these thoughts, he decided to go introduce himself. Wandering up the stairs, he paused for a moment to look around, and then entered the closest room. Inside Jason saw all of the stuff you would expect in the room of a toddler. In the far right corner was a chest filled with all kinds of toys and playthings, with more scattered across the floor. An infant bed was situated at the center of the left wall, opposite the closet. And lying in the center of the room was a little kitten named Janie, playing with some blocks.

"Well hey there squirt, there you are!" Janie paused her playing for a moment to look with curiosity at the new and loud thing that had come into her room.

Jason walked over and kneeled in front of her, smiling the whole time. "My name's Jason, I'm family just like your daddy. Isn't that neat?" She tilted her head at him, making little baby noises, until;

"Ja, Jacy?"

Jason couldn't help himself in regards to what he did next; it was just something he couldn't control. "D'awww, that is so qwuute! You are soo pwecious! Yes you are, yes you are!" He babytalked. BADLY.

Janie seemed to get bored of him after this, and went back to playing with her blocks. Jason watched her work for a second, and then spoke. "You like playing with blocks huh? Yeah, they were my favorite toys as well. Come on, why don't ya show Jacy what you can do!"

A block hit him right in the nose.

"Ouch. Heh heh, that was kinda funny; anything else?" Two blocks hit him in the forehead. Rubbing where they hit, Jason decided to back up a bit. "Now Janie, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's impolite to throw blocks at people? Besides, if you're gonna throw things, they should at least be aerodynamic, like a ball." After Jason said this, Janie struggled to her feet and waddled over to her toy chest. Jason was impressed. "Oh wow, you can already walk, that's pretty impress-" and then she dumped over the chest, spilling dozens of balls of all kinds of shapes and sizes onto the floor. She picked up one about the size of a baseball, and looked at Jason. "-ive. Well, look at that, a bunch of aerodynamic balls. I didn't see that coming." He started slowly edging his way back to the door. Before he could take two steps however a practical rain of toy balls began hitting him, causing him to run out of the room and slam the door behind him.

As he sat against the door, catching his breath, the sound of balls hitting the door slowly faded, leaving an eerie silence in its place. "Well that was fun" Jason sarcastically said to himself as he stood back up. Dusting himself off, he looked at the door and said, "Maybe she's hungry. I'm never in the best of moods when I want to eat." He trotted down the stairs and to the kitchen, stopping in front of the fridge. Rummaging through it, he quickly found the toddler formula and grabbed it, noticing that there was a sticky-note attached. He quickly read it:

"Use only as last resort when mother is not available for breastfeeding.

Also, if Jason is reading this, if anything happens to Janie, you die."

Jason gulped, and then quickly put the formula back up. "Maybe something else would be better." Scanning the kitchen, he noticed a box of cheerios, and near that a blender. "Aha, that'll do." Pouring some of the cereal into the device, he then turned it on and watched as the food changed from crunchy to mushy. Turning the blender off, he poured the improvised baby food into a bowl and grabbed a spoon from a cabinet. He thought to himself as he walked back up the stairs, "it looks nasty and gross, so it must be baby food."

Reaching the door, Jason opened it a crack and peeked inside. There was Janie, staring at the door expectantly. Opening the door the rest of the way, he walked over to her, carefully stepping over the balls that were still lying around. "Hey Janie, I thought maybe you were cranky from hunger, so I made you some disgusss-delicious Cheerios mush." Her eyes caught sight of the bowl he held in his left hand, and reached her arms out for it. Picking her up, (wow, she's kinda heavy) he carried her out to the dining room and sat her in her chair. He then sat down across from her and got some of the mush on the spoon.

"Okay kiddy, here comes the food plane. Open the hangar door and let it in." He tried putting it in her mouth, but she turned her head away, mouth shut. "Come on, don't be like that." He tried giving her the food from that side, only for her to turn to the other side. "Seriously kiddy, this is getting old, really fast." This went on for several more minutes, until finally his patience gave way to frustration.

"Oh come on, it can't be that unappealing! Here, I'll show you it's good!" And with that he stuck a large spoonful in his mouth, Janie watching with amusement. As soon as the taste registered he went cross-eyed, and then jumped up and ran for the bathroom. The sound of agonized retching could soon be heard, lasting for several seconds, and then several minutes. Finally Jason finished, and thoroughly washed his mouth for good measure. Stumbling out of the bathroom, Jason made his way back to where he had left Janie.

"Wow Jason, outsmarted by a baby who's not even two; great job."

Sitting down in his seat, he was broken out of his thoughts by the sound of a soft burp across from him. There sat Janie, and in front of her lay an empty bowl. Jason stared at her, mouth agape, and then began pounding his head against the tabletop. He continued this for two whole minutes, until the sound of giggling reached his ears. He stopped and looked up to see his little charge giggling as only infants can. "What's so funny" he asked, and then the smell hit him.

"GAUGH!! Holy halibut, what did you eat...oh yeah. I guess I should, uh, change you now, huh." Standing up, he walked over and gingerly picked her up under the arms. "Now where would the supplies for this delicate procedure be… of course, her room!" He quickly made his way back up the stairs and into her room, holding her body as far away as he could all the while. Her constant giggling really wasn't helping matters either.

Setting her down on a table to the left of the toy chest, he began looking around for what he needed; finally finding them stacked up in the closet.

"Here they are, now to- wait, another sticky-note?"

Tearing it from the bag of diaper-changing supplies, he quickly read what was written:

"Instructions for changing procedure are kept in bag.

Also, if you are reading this Jason; if you let anything happen to Janie, I will kill you.

Have a nice night."

Jason swiftly stuffed the note into his left pocket and looked at Janie. "Gee kid; think your pop trusts me?" Giggling was all the response he got. "Yeah, I suppose an intelligible answer would have been too much; well, let's get this over with."


One hour later, we find our stalwart hero leaving the bedroom, Janie tucked in bed. Shaking his head to get rid of the memories of what he had just gone through, he made his way down the hall to the bathroom. Flicking the light on, he then proceeded to thoroughly wash his hands; when he finished he washed them again, and again, and again. As he washed a thought popped into his mind; "So that's what they subject the prisoners at Guantanamo to." Giggling at that thought, he finished up and left, making his way to the living room. On the way he looked at a clock on the wall, which said 9:42. "Okay, the party they're at is about 20 minutes away, so I'm guessing it'll be quite a while before they get back. The kid's been fed and is in dreamland, so now for some dinner and TV; whoo, exciting."

Detouring to the kitchen, Jason rummaged through the cabinets, seeing what they had. Suddenly his face lit up, and a joy-filled smile covered his face. Oh great heavens above, they had it! They had the most wondrous, the most mouth-watering, the most delicious food of all time! "RAMEN!!" Jason yelled in happiness, grabbing some bags and a cooking pot. Twenty minutes later and he was plopped down on the couch, happily slurping up noodles and watching reruns of "The Nanny."

"Oh Mr. Sheffield, when will you realize C.C. is an idiot" he said to the T.V. through a mouthful of heaven. Several episodes later Jason finished off his meal and wondered if the ball had finished going down, so he changed to the news. There he watched as a hot Fox interviewed people in Times Square. "I wonder if they make those reporting uniforms too small on purpose."


Finally the ball began descending, and the entirety of Times Square started counting down. Jason joined in, and as the ball got lower and lower his voice got louder and louder. The ball reached it's destination, and Jason jumped to his feet and screamed "Happy New Year!" Immediately afterwards he cringed as the sound of crying filled the air with fear and alarm. "Damn it", he said as he ran up the stairs to Janie's room. Throwing the door fully open from its half-opened position, he rushed to the toddler's side and panicked, not sure what to do.

"Come on, kiddy, no need to cry. Come on, Jacy is sorry. Please stop crying!" Getting an idea, he picked her up and started to rock her, although his jerky movements served only to make her cry harder. Seeing this, he tried singing her to sleep; but, well, let's just say that he doesn't quite have the voice for nursery songs. "Janie, please stop. Do you want a story, huh, would that help?" She quieted down slightly, but she was still loud enough to be heard throughout the house.

"Okay, a story it is then. Let's see, um, aha! Okay; a long time ago there were two brothers, living with their mother in a great castle." Janie's cries were no longer deafening him. "The brothers were equal in everything they did, and cared for each other greatly. But then a terrible serpent came, and snatched their mother away." Janie was now giving him her undivided attention; well, as undivided as a babies attention can get anyway. He smiled at her and continued. "And so the two brothers set off alone to find the monster's lair, slay it, and rescue their mother. For many months they traveled, until finally they came across it on the coldest, darkest day of winter. Suddenly, a dark knight appeared!" Janie eeped, and buried her face into the crook of his arm. Jason began gently rocking her as he continued.

"The dark knight, master of the serpent, blocked their path, saying that he would only move at the showing of ultimate love. Angered at the knight who kept them from their mother, the brothers attacked, but were swiftly beaten back by the skill and power of the mysterious warrior. Undaunted by their defeat, the older brother attacked again. The younger brother, however, stayed back, and prayed that the answer to what the knight had said would come to him." Janie was once more giving him her full attention, but this time sleep was beginning to encroach upon her. "As his brother was once again thrown to the ground, and the dark knight's gaze landed upon him, the young warrior suddenly realized what needed to be done. He drew his sword before him and, with one final look to his brother, plunged it into his chest. Immediately the dark knight put his weapon away and moved to the side. 'Through his sacrifice and his love of you and your shared mother, your victory has been won. Go now to her, there will be nothing else to stop you.' Quickly the remaining son found his mother in the lair; and as they traveled back to their home, both remembered how they had been reunited. And in the years to come, the people would speak of the son in awe and reverence, and of the love he had held to give his own life so that his brother may live. The end."

Jason finished and looked down, only to find his audience asleep. Smiling to himself at this, he gently returned her to her bed, and then watched her sleep in wonder. "You know, you really can't quite appreciate the innocence of a child until you've seen one sleeping." Sighing in contentment, he stayed there a bit longer until he heard the distinctive sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Leaving the room, he proceeded to pick up the mess from his dinner, getting the last bowl put away just as the front door opened.

"Jason, we're back, and if anything happened to Janie I'll kill you." Fisk was the first in, followed by a slightly tipsy Elizabeth. Jason met them in the hallway leading from the door to the rest of the house. "So, how were things?" he continued, taking off his coat and hanging it up.

Jason began putting his jacket on as he spoke. "Oh, things were fine, just fine. We played a game, had something to eat, cleaned up; you know, normal stuff. She's asleep right now."

"That'sh good to hear. I'm gonna scheck on hers, then go to shleep." Elizabeth began walking off, but then stopped and turned back to the two. "Don't keep me waiting, Fishy." And then she was gone. Fisk groaned while Jason softly giggled at his expense; a glare from Fisk quickly shut him up though. They stayed in silence like that for a few more moments, until Jason stretched his arms and yawned. "Well, I better get going; Happy New Year and such."

"Sure you don't want to stay for the night?" We have plenty of spare rooms." Jason opened the door, and then looked back at Fisk. "Naw, it is fine." Turning to walk out he paused once more. "By-the-way, you have a very good daughter; you must be very proud." "I am" Fisk replied. Jason said bye one last time, and then left. Fisk continued looking at the door for a minute, and then turned to join his wife.


Outside, Jason sat in his Aston Martin, thinking over his night. He smirked at Fisk's constant threats of death if he messed up, even though he knew that they were serious. Then into his mind came the memory of Janie lying in his arms, staring up at him with warm eyes. He sighed softly, and began pulling out.

"Having kids must be nice. I wouldn't mind some of my own some day."


A/N: And there we go, my second fic, as well as my first one-shot. I tried to include more humor than I did in Original Days, and hopefully I succeeded. And if anyone is wondering, the little story Jason told Janie is of my own creation. If it bears any resemblance to other stories it is completely coincidental. Anyway, please review, or else I'll have White crawl out of his grave and get you!