What have you done (by Within Temptation.)
"I can't believe it," Said Marie sobbing. "I'm a nurse…I should have seen it." She added looking at Bonnie sadly.
Bonnie was too dumbfounded to even cry she just kept looking at the doctor. "Cancer?" She asked again "are…are you sure?"
The doctor nodded sadly. "Yeah I'm sorry Miss McCullough. It's a very rare and pretty advanced pancreatic cancer. I….We can't do much more now."
"How long do I have?" Asked Bonnie surprised to be that brave. She was always the one who was terrified, clutching at Matt, Meredith, or Elena for support and comfort but now that she knew she was about to die she was not falling apart, she was surprisingly calm it was maybe because she hadn't realized it yet.
"We can't be sure you know… It varies," he said warily.
"Approximately?" asked Bonnie trying to ignore Marie's sobs. Geez did I sound like that all the time? That IS pretty annoying she thought totally randomly remembering every time she whined when she was scared.
"6 months…maybe a bit more." He said uncomfortably.
"Oh God….oh God. I should have seen something…I should have noticed." Said Marie crying even more.
"Get a grip woman geez! I'm the one dying and you are the one whining!" Snapped Bonnie surprising herself to be that cocky but it managed to shut Marie up.
"You know this cancer is really… aggressive," he said to get Marie's attention . "That is why the survival rate is not higher than 1 percent. Once we have some symptoms it's usually too late." He added trying to make her sister feel less guilty and Bonnie was grateful for that.
"Well thank you doctor," said Bonnie starting to get up.
"Wait maybe we could start to talk about palliative care." He added taking his glasses off. "To make you more comfortable."
Bonnie had a humorless laugh. "More comfortable…that's a good way to put things." She shook her head. "Now that my end is inevitable I really want to enjoy the time I have left," she said to the doctor. "No offence but…" She glanced at Marie. "I'll come to you when the pain will be too much to bare," and she knew she was going to suffer.
"As you wish." said the doctor shaking her hand. "I'm sorry" he added with empathy.
"I know…" Bonnie said with a small smile locking arms with her sister.
The sisters walked home in total silence. They were the only two McCullough's in town and Bonnie was more alone then she had ever been and she startlingly was grateful for that.
Elena and Stefan decided to go to Italy for the summer because he wanted her to discover his universe. Meredith went with Aleric to do some research somewhere in south America. Matt was in Football camp for the summer, and Damon was…Well only god knew where Damon was.
As for her parents, they decided to move to Florida to help Shauna, her older sister with the Twins.
"What are you going to do?" Asked Marie as soon as they walked in the flat they were sharing.
"Umm die if you believe the doctor." Said Bonnie in a foolish attempt to joke.
Marie eyes filled up with tears. "That's not funny," she said the voice shaking.
"Come on it's a little funny," said Bonnie sitting beside her sister on the sofa.
"No it's not" said Marie hugging her sister tight. Bonnie was the baby, the last one. She was not supposed to die! Not when she just reached 18.
Bonnie sighed heavily. "Listen summer is not over yet, and maybe…maybe we have a chance," she said not convinced. "I mean I can still go to Scotland and check with the family there if they can help…" She said not really ready to pronounce the word magic. "And if they can't well I've always wanted to visit our mother land I guess I have to hurry now." She padded Marie's knee, "at least I don't have to worry about college anymore do I? "
Marie gave her a reproving look.
"Well I'll check the plane availabilities and don't go around advertising yet ok?" Bonnie asked a bit colder than intended, getting up the coach.
"I… The parents need to know Bonnie!" She almost shrieked.
"I know but wait till there is no more hope. After Scotland…. I'll tell them then." Bonnie said seriously.
"What about your friends?" She asked curiously.
"What about them?" Asked Bonnie crossing her arms on her chest will biting the inside of her cheek trying to ignore the vicious gnawing pain in her belly.
"Don't you want them to help you out?" She asked frowning. "Do you really want to deal with this alone?"
"Do you see them here now? No… They've got lives to live why bother them about the little time I've got left? And I'll appreciate if you respect my wish…" Bonnie grinned, "or I'll come back and hunt your butt." She added before shaking her head, reaching for the phone to call the airport.
Bonnie came back to Fell's Church a week later with the certitude now that she was going to die. Her cousins there tried everything, contacted every witch they could think of but the answer was the same, the Cancer had spread too far too fast, nothing could be done now.
An old Covent leader said these words " I'm sorry child, you are young and it seems unfair but you can't fight the inevitable and mother earth decided to call you back to her.'
Bonnie knew she was right and she actually felt oddly relieved. Of course it was bothering her to go that young even if she always knew that she would but she also felt a sort of peace, she didn't have to worry about the future anymore as she didn't have any and it too was oddly… liberating.
"So…".Tried Marie as she was driving her home from the airport.
"It's over sis I told you that already," Bonnie said weary of this whole situation.
Marie just shook her head but didn't comment.
"Meredith is back." She said after a while parking in front of building.
"What? How ?She was supposed to---" Bonnie stopped and glared at her sister.
"I didn't say anything I promise" said Marie raising her hands in surrender. "Even if I think that you keeping it a secret is very selfish and you should let them tell you a proper goodbye." She sighed. "Apparently Aleric had to come back for something. I don't know" she added shrugging.
"Good," said Bonnie with a curt nod. "Let's keep things that way."
Marie just looked at her still sitting in the car. "What about the parents? You owe them more than that."
"I know," said Bonnie with defeat, letting the walls down for a little while. "I just don't know how to tell them…I just don't want to make them suffer." She added as the pain shot in her stomach just like to recall her that the cancer was still there, eating her inside.
Like I was likely to forget she thought bitterly thinking that she would have to go back to the doctor rather sooner than later.
"Just give me a few days ok?" She almost pleased."…just let me figure things out."
"Oh course" said Marie sadly getting out of the car.
About 30 minutes later Meredith came jumping around with excitation.
"So you went to Scotland?!" She said giving Bonnie a bear hug. "That's so unexpected!!"
"I know," said Bonnie with a wide smile she hoped was sincere. "I had the occasion so I jumped on it. But… how come you are back??" I asked trying to switch the subject around.
"Oh you know one teacher got sick, Aleric had to come back to cover the 3 weeks summer session at the University but who cares!" She took Bonnie's hand and lead her to the sofa "How was Scotland?!"
"It was… Nice!!" Said Bonnie trying to think fast, "very educational." She added the first thing that came in mind.
"Oh yeah?" Asked Meredith. "What did you learn?"
Damn it! Thought Bonnie why does she have to care that much.
"She only asks because she cares about you sis." Marie commented walking in the living room with her scrubs ready for her night shift. "She asks you because she loves you." She added looking deep into Bonnie's eyes pressing on the word love. "I love you too."
"What's happening here?" Asked Meredith looking at the sisters suspiciously. She could feel it was big, very big.
"I'm sorry sis" said Marie before looking at Meredith. "Bonnie was recently diagnosed with a pancreatic cancer that has spread far too much to do anything, She…only has months left," she added the voice cracking with emotion before taking her car keys and hurrying outside to hide her tears.
Bonnie looked at where her sister was previously standing regretting not to be able to control the elements or she would have set her sister's ass on fire.
She turned around but Meredith already had her cell out and she raised her hand to shush her.
"Stefan it's Meredith," she said sounding so calm, so clinical but that was the way she was sounding when she was about to break down. "You have to come back. It's Bonnie." She simply said.
"I'm so sorry bonbon," said Elena hugging her tightly and letting go of her usual controlled façade. "You can't go...it's not…Right." She added with a sob.
Bonnie was hugging Elena back but she couldn't see anything as Elena was so much taller than she was.
Stefan and Elena arrived the previous day, surprisingly, bringing a clearly reluctant Damon with them.
They were now at the boarding house and the only person missing was Matt because they decided to wait till he was back to tell him. This football camp was essential for his scholarship and future career, and it would have been silly to jeopardize his future for someone who didn't have any. It took Bonnie all her persuasive talent to stop Meredith from phoning him.
Elena, of course, had been devastated, Stefan seemed really affected by the news…Even more than Bonnie would have guessed. As for Damon well… Damon was Damon and as usual he didn't give a rats ass he was just looking at the group with his keen eyes, leaning against the wall.
"Medically speaking, no." Said Bonnie letting go of Elena quickly looking at Meredith who was sitting on Aleric's lap. She had dark circles under the eyes and still seemed stunned but she didn't need to listen anyways she knew only too well what Bonnie was saying. They had spent the last three days exploring the options yet again. Bonnie was resigned….the last phase of Grief: Acceptance but Meredith was still oscillating between denial and anger.
"But you are a witch!" said Elena with a little light of hope in the eyes that Bonnie hated to crush. It was a first but for once she was the strong one, the rock.
"I know and that's why I went to Scotland but…" she shook her head. "They can't do anything for me apparently my time has come," said Bonnie looking at both Elena and Stefan to show that she was in peace.
Elena locked eyes with Stefan and it was like they were having some telepathic conversation.
Stefan opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted by Damon. It was the first time he actually spoke since they drove from the airport.
"Your witches are baldracce!!" he said coldly with a snort.
Bonnie didn't know that word which sounded Italian but based on Stefan furious glance it was probably far from being a compliment.
"Damon!" Chastised Stefan with anger.
"And you are all idiots!" Added Damon with an anger that Bonnie didn't understand. "Ma non me ne importa un cavolo. Fessacchini!" He added shaking his head changing into a crow flying into the night.
"I'm sorry Bonnie he is---" Started Stefan mortified.
"Damon is Damon." Bonnie said doing her best not to smile. It was hurtful that he didn't care about her but it was also good to have someone who was acting normal with her, like he used to be before all that.
Bonnie paled suddenly pursing her lips. The stabbing pain was back, her body was her enemy, her poison. She knew it wouldn't last long, it was going very fast but it was so intense that some discreet beads of sweat were running down her temples to her neck.
She discreetly looked around and she noticed that only Stefan was aware of her pain as his body was all stiff, his muscles tensed. He probably noticed the acceleration of her heart rate, the way she held her breath when the pain was here and he clearly picked up on that but he was kind enough not to say anything.
Once the pain was gone she let her breath out.
"You look strange," said Elena with worries.
"I'm just tired." Bonnie replied which was actually not a lie. Each time she was having her painful spasms it was draining the little energy she had and she wasn't sleeping enough at night.
Meredith stood up as she was the one who drove Bonnie, but Stefan almost jumped from his seat.
"I'll drive you home," he said hurrying beside Bonnie. He quickly glanced at Meredith showing her that arguing was not necessary.
Bonnie said goodnight to her friends promising to be back the next day after her very dreaded phone call to her parents in Florida.
Stefan was quiet all the way back to Bonnie's apartment but it was not awkward. Silence with Stefan was never awkward, it was peaceful and Bonnie liked it. She always felt so safe with him…even with Damon.
When Stefan parked in front of the building Bonnie got ready to say goodnight and thanks but Stefan turned toward her.
"Umm Bonnie do you have a minute?" He asked slightly embarrassed.
Bonnie frowned lightly. "Of course," she said turning around to face him.
"I….You know it doesn't have to be like that." He said gently. "You don't have to die, you don't have to suffer"
"I don't --" Bonnie started before widening her eyes with comprehension. "You are talking about…" and she used her fingers to mimic fangs to her neck. "Turning me?"
Stefan nodded with a sad smile.
Bonnie looked at him dumbfounded. She remembered how many time Stefan said how turning someone was a responsibility, that he didn't like the fact to end someone's life. How he considered the blood sharing was very intimate and that once you had turned someone you were linked to that person for eternity and that he didn't want to be linked to anyone else than Elena.
Bonnie closed her eyes and shook her head vehemently. "That's crazy Stefan you can't!" She said finally looking at him. "I know Elena will be sad but it will fade."
"You think it's for Elena?" He asked somehow hurt.
Bonnie shrugged cocking her head.
"Well I guess she is part of it but…" He reached for Bonnie's hand and this contact surprised her. "But I see you as one of my best friend and I love you…I really love you." He took a deep breath but the intake was quivering under the emotion. "You are like a sister to me and I don't want to lose you. So if we do that I'll do it for me too I promise" he said looking deep into her eyes to show her that he meant every word.
Bonnie opened her mouth but closed it again. That was the first time that Stefan opened up to her. She knew that he cared about her, she never thought he cared that much. " I love you too Stefan," said Bonnie sincerely. "I'm so happy to have met you and even if it led to lots of problems it was worth it but…but I don't want to become a vampire." She finally said a bit embarrassed.
"Oh…" Said Stefan not expecting something like that. She'd rather die than be one of us. He thought sadly.
"It's just…" she started to say but stopped to think. How could she say that she didn't like the thought of living forever seeing all the people she loved die around her? How she didn't want to be a predator, feel the bloodlust? She would maybe turn evil like Katherine. She couldn't bare the thought. She wouldn't take the risk. "I'm sorry," she simply said.
"No it's your right Bonnie. You shouldn't feel sorry about that." He meant it, it was her choice.
"Just know that the offer will be on the table till…Till the end" he added giving Bonnie a quick kiss on the forehead.
Bonnie nodded. "Thank you Stefan." She said with a small smile getting out of the car and rushing in the building.
The next two days were pretty crazy, Bonnie told her parents who were devastated of course. They were coming back the next week after arranging everything in Florida.
Her friends were trying to be normal but it was awkward, she could see the sadness in their eyes. Even if she wasn't on the brink to forget the insidious monster eating her inside, their eyes were a constant reminder of her approaching end.
She left Meredith's house quietly that night. She invited all of them for dinner and Bonnie just wanted some alone time as she was going to the doctor tomorrow and they were going to talk palliative care…palliative.
They were reluctant to let Bonnie walk home alone but you had to agree with the dying...that was an advantage
She hadn't seen Damon since that night at the boarding house and part of her regretted that and she wanted to kick herself for it. He had probably seen that nothing fun was happening and decided to move on. Who could blame him? She would move on too if she could.
When Bonnie reached the main entrance of her building she rolled her eyes seeing the furious boy waiting for her his arms crossed on his chest.
"So you know," said Bonnie simply standing a couple of steps from the door.
"You bet I do!" Said Matt flushed with anger.
"I didn't want to tell you yet," said Bonnie moving uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "The football c--"
"Who cares about football?!!" He snapped. "You can't imagine how it felt." He hurried to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I was happy, everything was fine and my parents called telling me that they understood if I wanted to come home that… That the circumstances were special and that it wouldn't look bad on my scholarship but I didn't know what they were talking about. That's when they told me that my best friend was dying and she didn't tell me!" He added both sad and furious and somehow feeling betrayed.
"I didn't want you to worry." Said Bonnie with a hush tone as she had the face buried in Matt's chest under the bear hug. Her parents probably called the Honeycutt's, they had been friends for so long…Damn it!
"But I want to worry Bonnie I….You can't die period." He said still choking her in his bear hug.
"I…" Bonnie extricated herself from his arms. "Let's not go there." She said wearily.
"Why? I mean for the first time I think it's useful to have vampire friends!" Hissed Matt. "Stefan owes you that much after your help with Klaus or even Damon…" He grimaced "I think he has a soft spot for you."
"Damon has a soft spot for himself," she said surprisingly bitterly. "And Stefan proposed to change me… I said no."
"What?!" Shouted Matt even more furious. "Are you insane?! You are letting us down!!"
"Matt please… Not tonight." Said Bonnie staggering a little, she had three pretty big pain spasms tonight and she was feeling tired and weak.
"I…" He sighed. "I'll come back tomorrow Bonnie we need to talk." He hugged her gently now. "I can't bare the idea of you dying." Matt said looking deep into her eyes. "Stay…For me? Please?" He asked begging.
Bonnie just stared saying nothing. She knew he was on the verge of kissing her and she was the dying girl…she would let him.
His lips were almost on hers when Matt jerked away.
"Ouch fucking mother f---" He started rubbing the back of his head looking around.
"What?" Asked Bonnie looking around too but it was quiet, nothing to be seen.
"I don't know…" He frowned, "it's like something hit me at the back of the head."
Bonnie patted his arm, the moment was gone. "Well I'll see you tomorrow," she said reaching for the keys in her bag.
"See you tomorrow," he said rubbing her cheek before almost running away in the darkness.
Bonnie let a sigh of relief as she reached her quiet apartment. Marie was still at work and it was a blessing, she could really relax maybe forget about everything for a minute. As she walked in her room to put her stuff away she understood that would be impossible considering the young man dressed all in black sitting nonchalantly on her desk.
"Damon!" She said in a breath as she let her bag fall.
"Yes it's me little bird." He said with his smug smile. "It's nice to know you remember my name…We can't say you use it very often these days." He added trying to sound smug but deep down it stung and he didn't really know why. He did like that someone like her believed enough in him to call him when things were wrong, when she was scared, like he was the savior , that was priceless. And the little witch, the stupidly brave little witch, used to call him…she used to need him but these days, even when the pain was so intense that she was almost passing out, she didn't call for him.
She looked at him confused and sat on her bed. "How did you come in?" She asked surprised than she added, "I thought you left."
Damon stood up gracefully as the predator he was and leaned against the wall directly facing Bonnie. "I've already been in that flat with some college girl" he said and did his best not to smile when he saw the small flash of jealousy in her eyes. Maybe I could convince her…using her feelings. He thought almost adding 'and mine' but that was a line he didn't want to cross.
"I see," said Bonnie tightening her hair in a ponytail to Damon's dismay. He loved to see her crazy curly hair loose.
"And yeah I left for a little while but I'm back now…I had business to attend." He said dismissively but the truth was that night, at the boarding house, he felt betrayed… betrayed that she was giving up and that everybody was giving up with her. He was shocked to feel beyond furious and he had to admit that he needed her to live…whatever the price. And he contacted every vampire, demon, and witch he could in such a short amount of time but some couldn't help and the ones that could were not interested and way too powerful for Damon to fight. Getting killed would not have been beneficial to his little bird but if it did, would he had given his life for her? It angered him to recognize it even to himself but yeah he would have.
"Well you can go back to your business I'm doing just fine." Said Bonnie about to get up but Damon startled her as he came to sit beside her putting a hand on her shoulder for her to stay seated. "What do you want Damon?" She asked wearily.
I'm not sure he thought sadly. "You know you are making every single one of your friends suffer with you?" He asked rhetorically. "The blonde guy…Marc--"
"Matt!" said Bonnie exasperated.
Yeah the guy I hit with a stone as he was about to kiss you! Thought Damon jealous. "Yeah mister 'all-American-hero' with a two digit IQ." said Damon annoyed of being interrupted. "That's not the point what his name is! It could be Julie for all I care. The point is that he is right! You are abandoning people…letting them down, hurting them and I didn't think you were like that," he said knowing it would strike a cord. He was furious with her, he never thought that his brother would have the guts to propose to change her and he was pleased that he did but he never thought she would be foolish enough to refuse!
Bonnie looked at him hurt. Was it how he saw her? A coward? She just didn't want to be a vampire…She wanted to go head held high... She thought she was brave.
"No," he said answering her unspoken thoughts. "Someone brave will take every chance he's got to stay alive. You don't know how many dying people will sell their soul for what my brother…and I are offering you. A life where you won't feel pain anymore."
"Get out of my head Damon!" She said with anger and embarrassment. She stood up and came to stand in front of him. "I'm not hurting them" she said calmer, "it's--"
"Yes you are!" He snapped and he didn't like showing her his lack of control where she was concerned.
"Am I hurting you?" She asked narrowing her eyes slightly as her heart was starting to beat faster. Did he care about her? She wanted him to care so bad.
Damon was still sitting on the bed. He looked at her, his little bird, his little witch. He never really understood it before but now, now that he knew she was about to fade away he realized that he needed her to stay, at least a little while longer. She was so tiny, so fragile and the amount of pain she was able to bare was just unthinkable.
Damon had spent the last two nights in the tree in front of Bonnie's room, watching her sleep…or at least try to sleep. Sometimes the pain was so strong that she was biting the pillow not to scream.
And it hurt him. It hurt him way more that he thought was possible. Nothing hurt him that much since he became a creature of darkness and the fact that it was this little redhead that was causing it was even more surprising.
It was last night that he remembered some troubling moment that happened more than two centuries ago back in Florence. He almost sucked dry a young bride and as the young groom, who was working for Damon, tried to defend her Damon just laughed and kicked him around as he was so much more powerful than him. Damon always thought that getting attached to human was nonsense…Getting attached to weak pathetic and perishable creatures… you had to be idiotic.
Damon had laughed when, the young man full of pain and fury had said those exact words, 'You know, you never really cared about anyone but one day you will, and it's going to hurt-- a lot.' Damon thought it was just the stupidest thing he ever heard but last night…last night he was not so sure anymore.
Last night sitting on the tree he was in agony each time that Bonnie was in pain he was feeling it and he felt so helpless…a state he had never been in before and he had so much trouble to accept it.
Damon could almost hear that boy voice on his head, his voice full of hate saying in his mother tongue. 'Sapere, mai realmente tu sei preoccupato per chuinque. Pero un giorno, vedi di si e se fai male--Tanto.' That day had come…
"Damon?" Asked Bonnie bringing him back to reality. He blinked looking at her still standing in front of him. "Does it hurt you?"
"Will it change anything?" He asked as detached as he could looking into her deep into her innocent brown eyes.
"I don't want to be a vampire," she simply said knowing that's where he was going.
Damon jumped from the bed and grabbed her roughly by the shoulders. "But you have to!" He said aggressively. "You just…have too!"
"I-- No!" She said categorically trying to get out of his grip but he didn't let go. "Why do you even care?" She asked with tears in her eyes.
That's when Damon crashed his lips on hers, kissing her with all the frustration, pain, and he had to admit it now, love he felt for her.
When Damon broke the kiss breathless he kept her in his arms as she was dizzy. "Because I realized that I needed you to be part of this world." He finally admitted and it was true, he didn't realized how much he was attached to her before learning that he was going to lose her.
It took a couple of minutes for Bonnie to steady herself and then she realized that Damon had to be playing her! He was going after her soft spot for him, using her feelings. How dare he do that?! She thought totally infuriated now.
She got out of his arms with the little force she had left. "I won't be like you!" She shouted.
"Why is that?" He asked herding her against the wall. "I've read your mind, I know you wouldn't mind getting intimate with the monster I am so what's the big deal?"
Bonnie flushed brightly as she realized he knew that she was in love with him.
"See? And you are the only one who can really read me" he added almost whispering to increase the intimacy of the moment. "You saw things in me that nobody else saw…things that I didn't know was there. You saw goodness in me and I love to see myself through your eyes. I care for you, let me take care of you" He added against her ear.
Bonnie looked down. "I won't change my mind Damon…I won't be a vampire." She added stubbornly.
"That's too bad," said Damon letting go of her taking a couple of steps back, "I would rather you were willing but I guess I don't need it." He said seriously.
Comprehension started to fill Bonnie as fear increased. She quickly glanced at her bedroom door but Damon was blocking it and she knew she had no way to escape him. "What…What do you mean?" She asked.
"Oh I think you know what I mean just fine." He said standing straight looking at her with his black eyes. "I mean that, willing or not, I'm going to take your human life tonight."
"I won't let you do that!" She said stupidly knowing she had no way to stop him.
He laughed. "Awww my little bird….We're going to have so much fun spending eternity together" he said walking slowly to her like a predator approaching his prey.
He roughly grabbed her and forced her to the bed. He locked her legs between his, locked her arms above her head with his steal grip and tilted her head with his other hand. "Don't fight it or it's going to hurt far more than necessary," he said leaned down as his fangs extended painfully.
But Bonnie fought it, she fought it with all she had and it was the worse pain she ever experienced. Having blood drained from you against your will was even more painful than the cancer eating her inside. So painful that she was on the brink to pass out.
"I'm going to hate you forever." She whispered as she was getting weaker and weaker. So weak that she was not even trying to fight him anymore, either mentally or physically.
At least you'll have forever said Damon directly in her mind. That's all that matters now he added trying to send her some peaceful vibes. He let go of her hands knowing that now she was too weak to fight, even her mind was getting cloudy.
He let go of her neck and bite his wrist but he saw that the blood was dripping too slowly and she would not help him, he knew that already. He sighed and took his shirt off.
"I really must love you to do that!" He said but she was so out of it that he was pretty sure she didn't understand.
He gently sat her down keeping his arm behind her neck to steady her and he cut his jugular with his little knife.
The blood was running freely and fast. He brought Bonnie's face to his neck while pressing on each side of her jaw to force her mouth open and she was so weak that it was very easy.
"Come on little bird drink…you don't have the choice now." He said bringing his hand to the back of her head to be sure to keep her mouth locked to his bleeding neck. It was a physiological reflect, as she will be chocking on the blood she would swallow and she was to weak to stop this natural body response.
When she swallowed the first time Damon let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. "Yeah come on….we're almost there," he said gently taking off her ponytail to burry his hand in her crazy mass of curls.
I will never be yours she said mentally to him with the rest of her force.
"You are mine already…you just don't know it yet." He took a deep breath. "I love you my little bird, you'll realize that eventually." He said out loud wishing he was right. He was probing her mind as they were creating the blood bond and he could see that till now she had no ill feelings toward him. She was in love with him and he really hoped that she would still be.
You don't love me or you wouldn't force me into that permanent state I--- she swallowed again but now she was even too weak to communicate silently.
I do love you but I'm not a saint he said softly to her mind closing his eyes. I'm just too selfish to lose you. I can't let you go not now that I realized what you mean to me. He added holding her tight against him.
Bonnie woke up in a very dark place but she could see well. She frowned and as her memory came back her breathing quickened.
"No!" She shouted running her tongue on her teeth feeling her fangs extend. She WAS a vampire. "NO!!" she shouted again with pure fury.
At the instant the door opened on Damon . "Ah I see my little bird is awake," he said grinning.
Bonnie jumped on him trying to attack him. He did it! She was a vampire and she was starving.
As she jumped Damon let her bite him and take some blood. He knew she was angry and hungry and he didn't trust her with the outside world just yet. He was scared she would try to kill herself in the sun. Plus her taking some blood would only reinforce the blood bond but she didn't know that.
After a little while he pushed her away. "You had enough I think," he said nicely.
"I'll have enough once you're dead" she groaned.
"Awww you don't mean that." He said hoping it was true.
"You have to let me out." She said standing up.
He chuckled. "I don't think so little bird," he said seriously. "I'll bring you something to eat later," and knowing her it would have to be animal and not 'too cute'
When she passed out after the blood intake he killed her and even if he knew she would be coming back it was horrible to stab her. He then took her body and drove to the house he had in the Boston area and he had organized the basement as she was sleeping for her to be safe during the time it would take her to accept what she was and that she was meant to be with him.
"How long have I been out?" She asked looking around probably trying to find a way out but it was foolish and Damon did his best not to laugh.
"4 Days," he said simply.
"What?! But I have to go my family is probably looking for me." She said furious.
"No they aren't," he said so sure. "Nobody is." He added which included their friends. He would tell them she was alive but he had to wait for her to accept everything first.
"What did you do?" She asked narrowing her eyes.
"You killed yourself." He said shrugging dismissively. "You jumped from the bridge into the angry water. They didn't find your body but you are dead."
"And how did you pull that off?! Nobody will believe that!" She said crossing her arms on her chest in defiance.
"Oh they doubted it alright but many witnesses saw you jump," he said with a wide smile. "A young couple, a middle aged man with his dog. Well at least they are convinced they did," he said winking.
" Oh you---" She started about to jump on him again.
"And you even left a letter," he added giving her a piece of paper with her handwriting and signature saying how sorry she was but that she didn't want her friends and family to see her suffer any longer.
"I hate you!" She said backing off to sit on the bed.
He looked deep into her eyes and probed her mind as deep as he could and that's when he saw that she was just angry and disoriented but she still loved him. Deep down she was his, she just needed time to accept it.
He just smiled. "I'll come back later." He said turning around. His little bird had fangs now and he couldn't wait for her to be his.
He had finally found his queen…the little witch that bewitched him and neither of them even realized it.