Hayy! Im back with another one of Smartbabie's challenges. I thought it'd be fun to try this one out. I dedicate this to my best friend, Tris, who is today, officially sixteen!! Happy birthday my bestest buddy in the entire world!!

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly.


A new laptop means everything to a techie like myself. It means new everything, new programs to figure out, and sometimes a new me. I'd never been a fan of AIM, I always thought it was stupid. I was known as FreddiGuy01 and that was it. Now, it was time for a change.

"StudMuffin002." I said aloud. Wow... that sounded geekier than... well than anything.

"SaturnzOrbit." Kind of astrological, but not what I was aiming for.

"Double0h7" Hmm... I liked it.

I typed in my screen name and everything was set. I was now set up for my first web chat.

I scrolled through the two names that appeared. There was 'Ladykilla173' and 'Sammich006'.

I think I'd rather start with the sammich kid... less... dangerous.

Double0h7: Hey... looks like you're one ahead of me.

Sammich006: Huh?

Double0h7: You're name. It says 006... my name is Double0h7... get it?

Sammich006: Not rlly... but whutevr.

Double0h7: So... what's your name?

Sammich006: Nuh-uh. Were on a need ta kno basis. No personal info gets in/out of this precious convo.

Double0h7: So what's the point of this whole AIM thing then?

Sammich006: To talk bout crap we hve to take in every day... and food.

Double0h7: You should really learn about grammar... I'm having a hard time decoding what you're saying.

Sammich006: Nurd.

Double0h7: Wow... you remind me of someone. Anyway, what's with the harsh attitude? I barley know you... in fact I don't.

Sammich006: Shitty day. Mom was piss ass drunk and school was lame. Srry about the harshness.

Double0h7: I know what you mean. So, do you want to talk about it?

Sammich006: But... I dun even know you... why would you want to hear what I have to say?

Double0h7: What better reason to hear what you have to say? I don't know you and I won't be able to tell anyone because they don't know who you are.

Double0h7: Hello?

Sammich006: What's in it for you?

Double0h7: How about... you tell me one thing about you after every story, like who you are. I'll tell you one thing about me, and then, well, we can go from there.

Sammich006: Didn't I alrdy say that I wasnt goin to tell yu anythin about me alrdy??

Double0h7: I don't mean things that will give away who you are, but little things, like what you're into, gender, age... things like that.

Sammich006: You'd better not find out who I am...

Double0h7: I probably won't... I may be good with computers, but I'm not great with people.

Sammich006: Ya seem fine to me, but then again, not a great person in general...

Double0h7:You seem okay too... you know, without the commentary.

Sammich006: Well iz gots ta go and brush the pearly whites. Lates Bates.

Double0h7: Wait, what about the hints thing?

Sammich006: I'm a girl. Work frm there. Whut r u?

Double0h7: You're a girl? Well okay then... I'm a guy.

Sammich006: Dont be expectin you to become my like online bf or anything... and yeh, im a gurl, whuts it to ya?

Double0h7: I'm going to let that one slide, and say it was the shitty day talking. What's a bf?

Sammich006: Oy.

Sammich006 Signed Out.

Double0h7 Signed Out.


I walked into Ridgeway, clutching the strap of my new laptop bag that had been strung across my chest. I spotted Carly talking to Principal Franklin, so I walked to her locker to wait for her.

Sam was already there, wolfing down what seemed to be a ham sandwhich.

"Hey Sam."

"Hi Dorkwad. New laptop?"

I ignored the name comment.

"Yep! It is so awesome. It has over 360 gigabytes of hard drive st-"

"Shut up. No one wants to hear you speak geek. I simply asked if you had a new laptop. You're answer was either a yes or a no."

I sighed. There was no one that I could ever talk to about technical stuff. Minus the AV club, anyway.

Carly happily sauntered over to the lockers with a cheery look on her face.

"Hey guys! Nice sandwhich, Sam."

"I do have great sandwhich making skills." Sam complimented herself.

"New laptop, Freddie?"

"Yep, it has over 360 giga-"

"Stuff your face Fredwina. If I don't want to hear about your geekness, neither will Carly."

"Carly," I emphasized. "Can speak for herself!"

"It's fine, Sam. Let Freddie talk." Sam backed away unhappily.

"As I was sayin-" I was cut off by the bell signaling it was time for class.

"Well, Freddork, I guess no one wants to hear your story. Okay guys, I'm outie."

"Where are you going, Sam?" Carly questioned.

"Skipping, duh." Sam stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. In theory, it kind of was obvious, she always skipped on Tuesdays.

Carly laughed as she and I walked to homeroom with Mrs. Briggs.

"By the way, Carly, what's a bf?"

"It's a way of saying boyfriend, like online, for AIM and stuff."

"Oh..."

"Why?"

"No reason."

Suddenly, Carly and I heard a loud scream.

"GIVE ME BACK MY SANDWICH YOU HOBO!"

Great, Sam was fighting with a hobo over a sandwich. Carly and I darted out the door to rescue the poor unfortunate soul that had to endure the wrath of the demon child.

Some things would never change. Thank God for the virtual world.