This came to me at work last night. I didn't have time to edit. It may be a little rough. But I thought I owed it to you guys today. Thanks SOOOO much for reading this story!
Sleep didn't exactly last for long. Sam found himself awake every half an hour, and around 2:30 he gave up and got up. Dean was on his mind. Neither one of them had exactly done anything to rectify their silence. Sam regretted the few words he had spoken to his brother. It just simply went all wrong. Sam got out of the bed, careful not to wake Jessica, grabbed his laptop from the desk, and headed downstairs to the silent living room.
Part of the reason that Sam was up and unable to sleep was because he was fairly certain that his brother had lied when he said that he would be spending Christmas with their father. It was just something in the way he said it, the look he gave something, Sam couldn't quite pin it down, but there was something that just told him that it was all wrong.
He ended up hacking into the cell phone company that he knew Dean used, and with ease he was able to activate the GPS in Dean's cell and he found that he was in a stationary position not too far from the house. Sam googled the coordinates and discovered that it was nothing more than a wooded area just outside the city. Sam sat back against the couch and ran a hand down his long face. Should he go? Would he be welcome? Why was Dean out in the middle of nowhere? Had he found a hunt? Should he be worried? His mind raced and he decided the only way to calm it down would be to go look. If nothing else, he would be accused of being a girl, and would end up back here before dawn and no hard feelings. At worst, Dean would be mad that he was discovered, and they would just deepen the rift between them.
He pulled clothes on quietly, using stealth that was learned in their family like some children learned how to cry on cue to get a toy, he managed not to wake anyone in the house, as he left, got in his rented car, and took off for the coordinates that claimed to hold his brother.
When he arrived, he barely saw the back of the big black machine that Dean prided himself on. He turned off the car, and got out, and headed towards it. When he was able to see inside, his night vision being better than most, he saw his brother swaddled in blankets in the back seat of the car, slightly shivering and by all appearances to be asleep.
There was going to be no company for Dean Winchester this Christmas. There would be no food, not even cheep diner food, no presents, no conversation, no anything. It would simply be a quiet day where no one was out and about, no bars open for him to get drunk, no places for him to gorge himself on greasy foods, and no waitresses to charm out of their skirts. His brother was going to spend the entire day in his car. Because it was the only thing that hadn't left him. It was the only thing in the world allow him his quirks, his stubbornness, his thoughts, and opinions, and not take off when he wasn't looking. That realization soured the good foods in his stomach.
Tapping on the window, Sam braced for impact. Instead, he got a brother who opened his eyes and a hand which slid under his pillow, which Sam knew was now holding a very long, very sharp knife. He watched as Dean's eyes focused and dismay and confusion clouded the green depths.
He sat up clumsily, and rolled down the window. "I didn't steal anything." He said thickly and turned his big eyes up to his brothers. Sam's mouth went dry.
"I know you didn't."
"Then why are you here? Hell why did you come looking?"
"Come on college boy, you had a reason." Dean couldn't stop the shivers that ran up his spine.
"Dean. Come on. My car is warm. Let's go sit there for a while."
"And abandon my baby?" He said, and the reality hit Sam again. Dean didn't leave family. His family left him.
"Can I get in then?"
"You're home too." He said and unlocked the door, and scooted over. Sam a little unsettled by the comment got inside and wrapped one of Dean's blankets over himself. "You need another one? There's one in the trunk still."
"Why don't you use it for yourself if you are going to be stubborn and sleep here?"
"Not stubborn. Just no more money."
"Come on Dean. You have a slew of credit cards and you hustle better than dad."
"Nope. I don't hustle around Christmas, and I don't use the cards either. Those people have families, little ones that want toys and clothes and Ipods, whatever in the hell those things are." He said and drew his blanket a little closer. "Used the last of the money I got from saving…"
"You took money?" Sam said flabbergasted. Dean never took money for a job. He always said it made him feel dirty. He was just doing something for someone else, just doing what he wished others had done for his mom.
"I'm not proud of it. But she gave me five hundred dollars for saving her kid. Said it was all she could give me. I took it because I needed it, and I wish I hadn't….but…I needed the money. I liked the meal she gave me more. After Christmas I'm gonna hustle that money back for her. I can't…" he stopped and shook his head. "That isn't why you are here. What do you need Sammy?"
"I just wanted to apologize."
"For not wanting me to crash your family dinner? Nah. You were right. I was the wrong one. I shouldn't have come. They are your family." Dean swayed a little and huddled into his blankets a little more. "Sides. It was obvious that I didn't belong with those people. I bet her mom counted the silver when I left." Dean tried to make light of the whole thing and Sam's heart which had hardened towards his real family started to soften and hurt at the words.
"No. Her mother liked you very much. She said she wished she had a daughter she could marry you off to." Dean gave a chuckle.
"I highly doubt that. Really Sammy, what do you want?"
"I wanted to know why you didn't call me."
"After I left. Why didn't you call? Were you ordered not to?"
"You could have called me too dude."
"So dad did order you to not call." Sam's voice came out cold and dark. That was exactly like Dean. Always following Dad's orders like a good little soldier. God forbid Dean use his own brain and do what he wanted to do.
"No. I figured you had ordered me not to. So I didn't."
"The way you stormed out. The way you wouldn't talk to me when you left. The giant F-you you gave us as you turned and left. I thought that pretty much meant for me to leave you the hell alone. So, I did."
"Sam. Just go back to the house, go enjoy your Christmas. This isn't that important."
"This is incredibly important. You're my brother."
"We share DNA. Those people are the family you want. I'm the life and the kind of people you don't want, and have made it very clear to all that you don't want. Just go back to that girl. She's beautiful. Her family is a good one to be a part of. I can't offer that to you. All I can promise is stealing, death, lying, and pain. She can promise you all of the good things. Just go. Please." Sam starred at Dean and hurt and confusion ran through him like a truck.
"Okay." He said softly and got out of the Impala, and closed the door quietly.
"Hey Sammy?" Dean called right before he went to roll up the window.
"Merry Christmas." Tears formed in Sam's eyes.
"You too." The window rolled up and Dean's head disappeared. Sam went back 'home' and back into bed with his girl. Suddenly the warmpth and comfort seemed hollow, the house wasn't as warm and Jessica's embrace wasn't so comforting. Not with his brother all alone, freezing in the car on Christmas.
Officially the end!