"What do you mean appraisals?"
"Well, you fill out a form, say what you thought you've done well over the last year, then explain what you thought you did poorly, then I have a meeting with each of you alone, and we discuss your answers. I give you a mark, end of appraisal," said Jack raising his arms to make his point.
"That's a bit hard to do Jack. This isn't your normal job. Hmm…which task did I do best?" Owen scanned the sheet of paper that Jack had placed in front of him, "Saving the world? Erm…too big a task. Working on the alien medical tech to save both Martha and Gwen? Yeah probably that. What would I say is my worst event to date? Oh I don't know…I guess it could be GETTING SHOT IN THE CHEST AND DYING! Then being brought back to life with an alien glove," shouted Owen sarcastically.
"Don't worry Owen, it'll be fine. Just fill the forms in. I want them on my desk by last thing this afternoon. That includes you too Ianto," called Jack over his shoulder on the way to his office.
Last thing that afternoon...everyone has gone home.
"Jack?" said Ianto quietly before pushing the Jack's office door open.
Jack looked up from his paper cluttered desk.
"Yes Ianto. What can I do you for?" Ianto walked further into the office, but kept his distance from Jack's desk. Ianto had yet to look Jack in the eye.
"I need to talk to you about these appraisals."
"What about them?"
"I…do I really need to complete one?"
"Ianto all employees at Torchwood need to have an appraisal at some point. I know I've been a little lax about work procedures lately but I'm getting grief from UNIT to hand something in. It's painless, really, just a piece of paper."
"I'm more concerned about the interview afterwards," Ianto mumbled at the floor, his eyes following his voice.
"What about the interview?"
"I've never been good with interviews."
"I've always had trouble answering questions straight away. I…I panic at the question and take a long time to formulate an answer."
"Ianto this appraisal doesn't mean anything. It's just more mundane paperwork that needs to be completed."
"I know but…"
"Ok. How about we have a practice now?"
Ianto's eyes shot straight to Jack's face, "What do you mean?"
"Well. For every question you formulate an answer to in under, oh I don't know, lets say 10 seconds, I take off a piece of clothing. For every question you fail to answer in under 10 seconds you take off a piece of clothing. Think of it as strip poker but without the cards."
Ianto looked sceptical but agreed to this unusual interview technique.
"Ok, Health and Safety. One of the team has rushed off leaving you alone in the field. It's dark, you have no idea where your partner has gone and they took the only weapon. What's the first thing you would do?"
"Erm…I would…well it would depend on the situation…I guess…I mean …well… the best things to do would be…"
"-that's 10 seconds Ianto, take the jacket off. Oh, by the way I thought I'd let you know the heating isn't on, so it's going to get chilly in here pretty soon."
Ianto threw him a dirty look, but Jack just ignored him and enjoyed the view. Ianto slowly undid his tie and laid it on the back of his chair. During the whole process Jack moved his chair from behind his desk to face Ianto's so they were opposite each other but their knees weren't quite touching.
"In what way do you believe you've worked well in a team?"
Ianto took a fortifying breath then answered.
"My current job enables me to work well in a team. To communicate effectively...work to the best of my ability, and to support and be supported by me colleagues."
Jack smiled, "See? Told you you could do it. Now I have to lose something." Jack proceeded to pull his braces off his shoulders and down his arms, unbuttoning his shirt before pulling it off his shoulders and throwing it across the room.
"Next questions…when have you not worked well in a team?"
"Erm…" Ianto pulled a face, "that's hard!" Ianto's face suddenly turned very serious.
"I believe I didn't work well in a team when I hid Lisa in the basement. I…I didn't communicate properly or work closely with the rest of the team during that period."
Jack pulled Ianto's hands into his and gave them a tight squeeze. He understood it was still difficult for Ianto to discuss his betrayal of the team and Lisa. Jack thought it had more to do with Ianto's feelings of guilt at betraying his leader's trust.
Jack had forgiven him, but clearly Ianto hadn't forgiven himself. Jack realised Ianto's hands and pulled his white t-shirt over his head and threw it in the same direction as his over shirt.
Jack tried to lighten the mood, "So, question three and no ogling the chest. What new skills have you learnt recently and how has this helped with your current work?"
Ianto smiled widely at the question and Jack didn't seem to comprehend what had caused this until Ianto answered.
"Well. I did learn a wonderful new technique involving my tongue doing some crazy things to anybody put in front of my that i'm interested in . I believe it has enhanced my knowledge and skill at being able to pleasure my lover. He certainly seemed to enjoy it late this morning down in the Archives."
Jack turned a light shade of red as his thoughts cast him back to this morning. That technique was enough to push anybody's boundaries.
"I believe that you owe me another article of clothing, Captain!"
Jack jumped slightly at the sound of Ianto's voice, reminding Jack that he was in the middle of something. He had two more bits of clothing left and five more questions. Things were not going so well. When he'd suggested this game he hasn't thought he'd be the one to end up naked.