] -- [My Life Would Suck Without You] -- [

Paul: Chapter 01

My life would suck without you…

There was Jared Najéra, best friend to him, at 8 in the morning five days later pounding on my door relentlessly screaming out, "I know you're up Nikki, you're a light sleeper!"

"Go away Jared!" I screamed as I padded into my bathroom only to cringe at my own image that was reflecting onto my mirror. I looked horrible; my eyes were bloodshot, my makeup smudge hideously and my hair knotted and rowdy.

I stepped into the shower quickly knowing that Jared had already picked the lock to my front door and was currently waiting inside my bedroom. Of course he must have talked to Jared right away; they were best friends after all. Now here was his and one of my best friends trying to figure out what happened in order to try and fix it. Except this time I was not the one at fault and unfortunately for Jared the peacemaker I hold onto grudges like they're my life.


It was his entire fault that I was so messed up right now. Everything had been going fine and then out of nowhere the shouting commenced, words were thrown and next thing I know it is all over. I was left standing alone in the middle of our clearing a dull shell with tears pouring down my cheeks with no intention of stopping anytime soon. My knees gave out of course after two hours of standing in the cold fall air and I allowed myself to collapse onto the colored leaves my eyes glazed over and wet.

Shortly after collapsing in the middle of our—no the clearing and staring at the cloudy night sky my body shook and I let myself cry hysterically like I knew I wanted to. At the moment I didn't care how cold I felt, or the possibility of having a leech find me here all alone, all that mattered was letting this crazy-depressing-chaotic-miserable-clawing at your heart pain out in all my ragged sobs.


Stepping back in my room I looked refreshed even though inside I wanted to do nothing more than to climb into bed, watch sappy chick flicks—that I don't even like to begin with—and eat my favorite chocolate chip cookie dough Häagen-Dazs ice cream. Or maybe I'll just orb myself to San Francisco, scope out some demons with Christopher Halliwell and completely destroy-pummel-annihilate-obliterate-demolish them until I am no longer angry.

"Honestly your room looks like there was a hurricane in here," he muttered lightly with a small smile to which I only stared at blankly before grabbing my cell phone and going downstairs for food.

He sighed dramatically but said nothing as he sat down in front of the counter and watched me quietly cook. The smell of eggs, bacon and hash browns appeared and I hoped this would be enough to distract him from what he came to talk about.

"I always loved your cooking, wish Kim could actually cook something edible though," he mumbled with a smile.

I glanced up at him a fake smile on my lips, "You should bring her over so I can give her cooking lessons every other weekend, how does that sound?"

Laughter left him, "Pretty good idea actually I'll talk to her about it and then I'll phone you…"

I nodded mindlessly serving my plate before letting him pile on food onto his own plate, we ate in silence mostly with Jared trying to crack a few jokes every now and then. Soon after I started washing the dishes as he went back to observing me.

"You want to talk about it?"

The dish almost slipped from my hands and I glared it, though the plate never did anything to me, before I said, "No I would rather not."

"Are you sure it might help?" he offered again.

"I'm sure Jared."

"He didn't mean anything that he said to you that night… you know that right?" he said his voice clear and string.

My own failed me and I said nothing but continued to finish washing my dishes. My cell phone rang and I lunged forward snatching it from Jared's reach. My gaze dropped to the caller ID- relief washed over me and I picked up, "Hello Collin…"

Ignoring Jared's frown I listened to the one on the phone, "I just wanted to see how you were doing. I hope you don't mind?" his voice clearly showed he was nervous. Oh sweet Collin, of the pack I think he's the cutest and the most adorable thing ever, he always disliked him for that.

"Don't worry Collin I'm doing much better than the last time that you were here," my voice was light and cheery. Jared scowled. Collin was the only one I had let see me these past couple of days. He checked in when he could. Adorable, wish he was my little brother oh, how I would spoil him…

"That's good to hear," ah so sweet, "I won't be able to come by tonight but I'll stop by tomorrow Nikki."

I smiled slightly, "Okay thank you for caring Collin…"

"How could I not? You're the older sister I never had…" his voice was soft and I knew he was blushing on the other end. "I have to go though so I'll see you tomorrow…"

"Of course have a good day Collin…"

When I turned back around Jared was scowling and I rolled my eyes, "Not today Jared, please just go home." I sound so pathetic.

He sighed. "Fine if you wish, I'll come by soon though!" he called out before closing the door behind him.


When I had cried myself out that night I lay there curled up staring at the sky. My eyes drifted shut welcoming the darkness that took over before I blanked out. Later I was shaken awake by warm hands. My heart fluttered in hope that he had returned but as my eyes fluttered it was not him.

"Collin?" my voice was so hoarse and weak.

He nodded quietly picking me up and starting to walk in the direction of my house.

The warmth spread through my tired body but it reminded me of him. "He broke up with me…" he stopped walking in shock mumbling,

"W-what? He did what?"

I bit my lip, "Paul broke up with me," I broke off clinging onto him like a weak little child and like that he took me home and became my rock.


I screamed angrily into my empty house.

I hated him.

No I didn't.

I couldn't hate him if I wanted to.

I would always love him.

His imprint, his other half…

I will always love him.

It didn't matter if he said all those hurtful things to me.

The rage in me wanted to hurt him, like he did to me.

I "hate" him…

I changed out of my pajamas and into some casual clothes before walking into my closet pulling out the steel case. My anger flickered; my hand grasped the cool crystallized hilt of my athame before I grabbed my phone and orbed myself to San Francisco where my personal Whitelighter lived.

"Hey Chris you busy?" I asked appearing at my guardian angels house.

He stared at shaking his head a smile on his face, "In search of something to kill Nicole?"

"Gee you know me so well…" I drawled plopping onto the leather couch.

"I felt your pain a few days ago- I figured you'd show up here sooner or later. So my dearest charge lookie, lookie I have a list of demons for you to kill…" he informed me holding the paper up.

I smiled, "You are a godsend Christopher Halliwell… now let's go kill these things…"

We orbed out at the same time and appeared at the same location at the same time-it was a hive and they were all staring at both us like we were Candy. Human-eating demons how gross…

By the time the list was done I was sweaty, hurting, bleeding and completely exhausted. My tiredness only allowed me to orb myself a few doors down from where I lived. I practically dragged myself to my door, fully aware of his eyes watching me.

As the door closed behind me my legs gave out on me and I slid down, blood staining my white door, but that didn't matter. My tears fell and no amount of destruction would make this better.

All I needed was him.

Otherwise I was nothing.


I have a fascination with Paul, don't know why but I do...

I'm writing this one as I go so don't expect too many updates soon, my 1st priority is my Embry Call story...

But this one should be about 7-8 chapters long and yes, it's based of the Kelly Clarkson song, "My Life Would Suck Without You."

It's my own plot and OC character...

Well, lots of love..