TITLE: More Than Gestures
PAIRINGS: Slightly one-sided GinoxSuzaku/SuzakuxLelouch
GENRE: Angst (Oh, surprise, surprise right? XD)
SUMMARY: Tears of happiness formed into tears of despair, and Gino's left with the sudden realization that things are not what they may seem.
NOTES: This is a post-series piece. First time ever writing anything with Gino in it...Also my first third-person CG fan-fiction. So, uhm, enjoy?
It was infectious laughter, bubbling up from somewhere deep inside the Japanese boy. A laughter that Gino could have sworn he had never heard come from the other before. When he had met Suzaku, the Knight was broken, marred with the scars of a love torn away all too soon. It only seemed fitting that he hadn't smiled then, much less laughed. And even now, though many moons had passed and the scars were starting to fade, new scars had begun to form. Markings that had been left by something else entirely. The weight of the world that Gino had worked so hard to lift from those weakening shoulders had been dropped back upon the other, bringing with it a broken heart and a life cursed to unhappiness. But this was the burden Suzaku had taken on when he became Zero.
But all of that was irrelevant at the moment because Suzaku was laughing. Gino felt immensely proud of himself. He didn't even know how he had done it. They had been laying on top of Suzaku's blankets, Nunnally sleeping peacefully two rooms down the hall. All he had been doing was telling a story. It hadn't even been a really funny story. Nothing more than a tale about his adventure to a far away island a few months ago. The laughter had started then, along with a remark to stop flailing your arms so much. You almost hit me in the head.
Gino had found Suzaku's remark funny in its own way, and he had started flailing his arms purposely as he finished the story, punctuating each word with a different gesture until the smaller boy next to him was in hysterics. What about it that was so funny, the blond didn't care anymore. The only thing he cared about was for the first time he was watching Suzaku laugh, so completely unreserved and against everything he tried to force himself to be.
"Stop it," he managed to choke out between fits of laughter, "What's gotten into you?" That should have been his first hint that something wasn't right. Because it was so utterly within Gino's nature to try and make the other smile that for him to even question it was a mistake.
"Seriously, you're never like this, Lelouch."
Blue eyes widened instantly, and any laughter that he had within himself died at that one name. It wasn't him that Suzaku was thinking about. It was Lelouch, the former Emperor, but more importantly, somebody closer to the boy than Gino could ever force his way into being.
And he was so lost for words that the only thing he could mutter was a very faint statement. "I'm…not Lelouch."
It was like a switch had been flicked. All the laughter that didn't seem like it would ever end halted with break-neck speed with the sudden realization. Emerald eyes opened wide like a deer caught in the headlights. The smaller male forced himself to sit up, eyes scanning the room as if in a daze. "You're…not…Lelouch…" he managed to choke, gaze finally falling up his blond friend.
The smile that had been pasted to Gino's face crumbled as he shook his head. He watched as the other looked around the room once more before curling in on himself. His knees were pressed against his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them. The eyes that had been filled with tears of laughter were being taken over by tears of something else, something melancholy. They filled his eyes until finally the dams broke, and the tears made rivers down his cheeks. He could feel his world crashing around him suddenly. "He's…gone…" he choked out the words, tears making his voice thick, "And it's my fault…I…I killed him…"
It wasn't a story that Gino hadn't heard before. Suzaku had explained the plan, Zero's Requiem, and everything else about the tyranny that was the 99th Emperor's rein when they first reunited. But then it hadn't been filled with such depression. Now though, Suzaku was trembling, sobs wrecking his body.
"It was his idea, Suzaku. What you did helped us all…The world is the place he wanted it to be, right? So he didn't die in vain…" Gino didn't even know what he was talking about anymore. He found himself just throwing out anything he could think of to make those terrible cries stop.
"But I killed him! I took…the life…of the one I loved…and now he's gone." His face was once more buried into his knees, hidden behind locks of thick brown curls. And it was then that Gino knew. He could have Suzaku in every physical sense he wanted now. He could wrap his arms around him, steal kisses and hold him until the sun rose high up in the midday sky. But he would never have Suzaku's heart. It was too broken, the pieces shattered and left in the hands of somebody high in the heavens. And while he could steal a piece of it away, he'd never grasp the whole thing. He'd never truly have Suzaku. Yet, if it made the tears stop and brought back the smile gifted to the other from the angels themselves, Gino thought that maybe he could live with that. Even a small, minuscule piece of Suzaku's heart was better than nothing at all.