So, like many others I have decided to do my own version of what happened in New Moon if Edward left and Bella found out she was pregnant. Follows SM's pregnancy in Breaking Dawn – okay, that gives a big part away but READ ANYWAY! Think this may be a little more kick-ass then you expect. I hope. Later on anyway.

R&R or no love! Due to none reviewing of other fanfictions, I have decided to hold the other chapters hostage! (There are twelve written so far). So, ten reviews a chapter or no follow through! It's mean, I know, but they don't have to be long. They can even be nasty – critical comment is always well – just say something! Okay, whiny bitch is over, please enjoy!

Yes, I have nicked the beginning from New Moon – I had the idea but no clue how to start!




'Of course, I'll always love you . . . in a way. But what happened the other night made me realise that it's time for a change. Because I'm . . . tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human. I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that.'

'Don't. Don't do this.'

My words were too late. He already had.

'You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed. Don't worry. You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind.'

I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare.

'Goodbye, Bella,' he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice.

He was gone.

Love, life, meaning . . . over.

The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface.





Waking Up
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

Walking into Bella's bedroom, I walked to the crib that had been squeezed next to her bed – I could not bear to throw away any of my daughter's belongings. My granddaughter, Renesmee Carlie Swan, lay sleeping soundly. Two months old as she looked more like two years. She talked, walked and thought like an adult – she was far more intelligent than me. She looked so much like her mother – same skin, same eyes. Her hair colour was her father's, but the curl to it was mine – I still found it hard to believe that any part of me could be in this perfect little girl.

Nessie's eyes fluttered open. She stretched out her arms to me, "Grandpa, up!" Reaching down, I picked the little girl up and cradle her close. I held her whenever I could. The loss of Bella was still too close and I kept thinking that I was going to lose Nessie too.

Downstairs in the kitchen the phone rang. I walked out the room, shifting Nessie in my arms so that I could hold the handrail to get down the stairs, trying not to remember the many times I had done this with Bella when she was a baby, before Renee took her to Phoenix. I wondered if that was why I was scared of losing Nessie, because eighteen years ago I had lost Bella when she was only a few months older than Nessie was now.

I picked up the phone, "Chief Swan speaking." I hated answering the phone like that – it sounded so pompous when it was my home phone – but I never knew if it would be a private call for Charlie, or an official call for Chief Swan.

"Charlie, its Billy." My old friend sounded more serious than I ever had heard him. "How are you holding up?"

"I keep getting out of bed in the morning. That's good, right?" I looked down at Nessie, bouncing her on my hip to entertain her while I was on the phone. Her hands came up to touch my face and without the gloves she had to wear out of the house on, I got the full effect of her thoughts – happy for bursts of time, but the sadness was always lurking underneath. I kissed my little girl on the forehead and made myself listen to what Billy had to say.

"Yeah, Charlie, that's really good. I remember when Sarah died, I barely got out of bed for a month, just couldn't cope. I know what you're going through."

"No offense, Billy, but I really done think you do. You loved Sarah, you still do, but she was your wife, not your kid." I took a deep breath, knowing I should not, but God, I was so sick of being told everyone frigging understood – they do not. I don't understand so how the hell are they supposed to? "Imagine Jacob was your only kid, Sarah had left you, Rach and Becky hadn't been born. Imagine you finally got Jake back to live with you properly and then, less than a year after having the most important person to you return, they die. You are left worse off than before – not just lonely knowing your kid is being raised by your wife and some other guy, but that they're gone forever. That if they had never come to live with you, if you had never got your heart's desire, they would still be alive.
"You still know how I feel, Billy?"

There was silence on the other end of line. I felt bad about taking it out on my best friend, but it felt good to finally be able to say what I had been thinking, that Bella's death was my fault. As her father, I should have protected her better.

"No, Charlie, I guess I don't know what you're going through." Billy sighed.

"I'm sorry, Billy, I don't mean to take it out on you. I know you want to help. It's just really hard, you know?" And I just wanted to offload some of the pain that was killing me onto someone else. Make someone else hurt for a while.

"Yeah, I know. I also know you shouldn't go through it alone. I know Jacob and I didn't really know Bella, but from what you told me about her, she sounded like someone really special."

"She was, Billy, she really was." I could feel the tears creeping up on me. It was hard to talk through the lump in my throat. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, only to be brushed away by a hot little hand. Nessie pondered the tear on the tip of her finger before laying her head on my chest. She gripped my shirt – she was too small to put her arms around my neck. Coughing in a feeble effort to clear my throat, I said, "Billy, er . . . I need to go. I have stuff to do." 'Stuff' being boxing up Bella's belongings. I did not want to get rid of Bella's stuff but I could not keep it where it is. Nessie's stuff needed space, too. Baby paraphernalia was stuffed wherever I had the room. As much as I hated it, Bella's stuff had to be moved so I could look after Nessie properly.

Billy seemed to understand what I meant without being told. "Need any help? Me and Jacob could come over – I'll bring beer." He tried to joke, but neither of us laughed.

"Thanks, Billy, but I really need to do this alone." Besides, he could not bring enough beer to make me okay with what I had to do today.

"Charlie, you need to get out of the house. You haven't left in months and no one had been allowed over to see you. You shouldn't be alone right now."

And what happens when he sees a two year old that my daughter gave birth to two months ago? Gave birth to being lying there screaming as the baby clawed its way out of her. No one had come over because I could not hide the evidence of Nessie's existence. How was I supposed to explain that my daughter had died giving birth to a half-human, half-vampire hybrid that aged exponentially and had supernatural powers? I had trouble believing it myself. Bella had told me everything during her pregnancy – it only lasted two months, she could not go to school and I took time off work once I saw how quickly things were progressing, so there was not a lot else to do but talk.

"Give me time, Billy. I got some stuff I have to do."

The silence on the other end was tense this time. "Charlie . . . you're not going to do anything . . . stupid are you?"

"Like kill myself?"

"I just . . . you're all alone, you don't go to work. No one sees you anymore, Charlie."

I pondered this for a moment, a truly insane, but very tempting idea forming in my brain. "Tomorrow is Saturday, yeah?"

"Yeah, it is." Billy sounded hopeful.

"I come see you for the basketball game, how about that? I think there's something I should show you anyway."

"Sounds great, Charlie." Billy sounded genuinely pleased. I wondered if he would still be happy after meeting Nessie.

"See you tomorrow, Billy. Tell Jacob I said hi."

"Will do, Charlie." We hung up and I sat at the kitchen table so that I could sit Nessie on the top. I loved the kid, but two year olds were heavy. Nessie touched my cheek with her hand again. The first time she had done this I had completely freaked out. Bella was lying there dead, her blood pooling around her and this blood-covered child touched my cheek and I saw . . . saw how much Nessie loved Bella, how much pain she was in knowing she had done this. From that moment I could not hate my granddaughter. I could not hate anyone that loved Bella as much as that.

Except for Edward fucking Cullen. If I could shoot that kid and it would kill him, I would.

This time though, the thought was a question. Where are you going? She sounded (felt?) concerned. Grandpa not leaving me? Like mama. The last bit slipped out before Nessie could take her hand away and I pulled her close to me, trying to hug comfort into the tiny, tough body.

"I'm not leaving you, kid. We are going to see Billy. Bella figured out what your daddy was because of what Jacob told her. Maybe Billy will know what . . . what you are."

And what's going to happen to me?

I nodded. "Hopefully." Bella's biggest concern was that because Nessie grew so fast that she would die early, become an old lady before I was an old man.

Maybe Billy would know what the future held.