A/N: Total boredom = totally random fanfic. Enjoy! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own KHR.
Otherwise the everyone would all be naked.

Gokudera and Yamamoto aren't exactly what people will call 'best friends'. Not those kind who'd stay glued to each other as though the moment they separate it'll be like losing a spleen or something at least. So you'd understand Shoichi's puzzlement to a peculiar habit of these two which started just a few days ago. They would wake up in the middle of the night, and slip sneakily away out of the dormitory, acting all secretive and such. And in the morning, they would appear tired and listless, as though they had gone through excrutiating treatments the night before. And in addition to that, Gokudera limps.

Now, Shoichi is really a good, pure and innocent man. At least, he was before he stumbled upon the many thousand fanfics shipping Gokudera and Yamamoto. It was one thing to read yaoi, but it was another to read yaoi of your friends who are sleeping in the same room as you. So right now, to all you KHR fans out there, aren't you glad you weren't in the story for once?

Okay, Shoichi is screaming at this author for going out of point again. As he was explaining, he came to the conclusion, thanks to the fanfics he had been reading (not that he likes reading heart-pumping stories about his friends lying naked on the floor and thrusting into each other), that what those lunatic fangirls write might be true. And so, our dear Shoichi, ever so hardworking and determined, decided to stalk them.

There were those furtive movements again. Shoichi had to pretend he was asleep, he wouldn't want to give himself away. Their clothes shuffled as they brushed past each other. "Ready for tonight's session, Hayato?" Yamamoto was heard whispering, in a very suggestive manner, might I add.

Hayato! He called him by his first name!

"Shut up, baseball idiot. At this rate everyone will know what we've been doing," Gokudera hissed, in a hushed tone of course. "And it's embarassing, so stop it."

Shoichi's eyebrows twitched. Everything seemed to tally with his hypothesis so far, although the boy's faint heart was palpitating faster than Byakuran eating his marshmallows (And man is that guy a marshmallow cannibal!)

The door slammed shut. Shoichi drew in a deep breath, and leapt off the bed.

It was difficult trying to tail people secretly in the darkness, especially when you're someone who is as useless as a primeape without opposible thumbs when somebody snatches your glasses off you. Shoichi could only grope about in the dark, but there was the constant fear that he might accidentally grope either of the guardians instead (he assures you that he really doesn't want to), and it's all game over.

Thankfully no such things happened. They halted in front of a room, before Yamamoto fumbled with the doorknob and pushed it open. Shoichi immediately jumped behind a wall for cover (and slamming his head onto the wall in the process). He heard Gokudera grunting and entered the room, and Yamamoto followed, closing the door shut once again. There was the sound of the lock clicking.

Shoichi gulped. His face was boiling hot. He was not ready for this. Of the 25 years in his life he had never watched hentai, or even dared look at women in swimsuits. And now, life must cruelly present this tragedy to him.

It was some minutes of just observing the cold floor or fiddling about with the hems of his pyjamas before he finally sensed some movement coming from the room.

Gokudera's trembling voice came first. "OUCH! You baseball idiot! It... It hur... Aaaagh!!"

"Hahaha! You can't have it both ways, Gokudera. With pleasure there comes pain. With immense pleasure there comes... Ugh! Immense pain," Yamamoto's joyful voice resounded.

"Urrgh!" Gokudera groaned, seemingly drowned in endless sufferings. "But... But I thought you told me... Aaaagh! Not there damn it! Aaagh.... FUCK!"

Yamamoto laughed again, ignoring his partner's pain. "I told you what?"

"That... That it wouldn't hurt so much after the... first time," Gokudera's hostile voice was reduced to whimpers now. "Aaaagh!!"

"Well, different people adapt to it differently. You're just more... Mmph! Sensitive than others, Hayato."

"Ugh...! Stop calling me by my first name." He commanded.

Yamamoto chuckled, "Haha, why not? After all we are all so close to each other now. I don't like to put... Distance between us."

Shoichi's legs unconsciously carried him nearer to the room, plastering his ear to the door. Even the tips of his ears were red. But his subconcious continued to lure him to just where all the action were taking place. Wait! What was he thinking?! Could this... Could this be the curse of the fangirls?

Gokudera cursed. "Shu... Shut up, baseball idiot. Just hurry the fuck up. I'm tired of doing this every night."

"And I can tell you're even more tired in the day. Besides, I thought you were the one who wanted me to... Mmph... Relief you at night?"

Shoichi pressed his ears more and more onto the wooden door, practically squeezing them. He could feel small waves of heat rise through his body. The constant groaning from the two guys inside just made matters worse.

Gokudera scoffed, "Ugh! As if it's my fault that the trainings are so torturous."

"And you don't have me by your side," Yamamoto added, pleased.

"What... Ouchdamnyoubastard!!! ...Ever. Pfft, and people tell me that... Urrrgh! That these kind of things AAARGH enjoyable..."

"Hahaha, but you're enjoying. Mmph! I can tell."

"No I'm not. You're just saying it because you're the one who is pushing so damn... FUCK!!! Fucking hard..."

Shoichi had to gulp continuously to tame that ball of fire inside him. The yaoi fanfics were intense, but this was practically extreme. Yes, more extreme than Ryohei washing his hair with the toilet flush.

"Ow! WHAT THE FUCK!" Gokudera bellowed. "Not there! A little... a little closer to the tip. Ye... Yes... THERE." And sounds of pleasure erupted from the room.

"See? Haha, I know every part of your body like how Squalo knows sharks, Hayato. You can't lie to me."

"You're skills are not as good as you think... Urrgh! Baseball idiot. I've had bette... OI!!!! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU, NOT DOWN THERE! Urrrrgh! You're doing... this for re... Aaaargh! Revenge, aren't... you! Urrrrgh Yamamoto! Yamamoto! Not so... Not so fucking fast damnit!! I'm... I'm going... Going to... AAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!"

Shoichi doubled over as he felt the eruption rip through his nerves, neck and out of his nose. As he did his head collided onto the wooden door, knocking the somewhat flimsy piece of wood down. Yes, that's how hard his head is, he can knock down a locked door with it.

"Ow!" He bellowed as his face crashed onto the ground. He was getting up when he noticed the quizzical stares of the two boys in the room. Gokudera uttered "Shit", and Yamamoto just stared blankly at him, shocked.

"Heh... Hehheh..." He laughed awkwardly, as his eyes unwillingly darted to the scene he had been itching to see so badly (no matter how much he denied it). And his pupils dilated, frozen at what greeted him. I told you, he was just not ready for this.

"Y... Y... You guys are..." His sentence trailed off. "...A foot massage?!"

Gokudera slapped his forehead, grunting, "Urrgh this is so embarassing..." While Yamamoto just chuckled away, asking, "Want to try?"

And so, Shoichi trailed back to his dorm in disappointment, as for once he thought the point in his life when he truly turns into an adult vanishes.


Yamamoto: So, what did you say you were you going to do?

Gokudera: (glares at Yamamoto in the most diabolical way a very hot anime guy from an anime about mafias would) I'm going to fucking make Uri give you a foot massage, and relief you of your pain.

A/N: Heh, I know it was f.o.s. but well, I hope it did make up for some entertainment for bored people out there! And just for your information, a foot masseur is supposedly able to tell how healthy your organs are by studying your reactions to different points on the foot and stuff, so that's why Yamamoto said he understands Gokudera's body well. XD

Thank you for reading and please review! (For I shamelessly feed on reviews for my youth and beauty. Fear me.)

It's just so fun to make fun of Gokudera.