I do not own Naruto, but I DO own my OCs. Jess Fenikkusu is property of Kakashi Forever.

It was a Saturday, and, of course, I had nothing to do. I was just laying on my bed looking at the ceiling (though it was relaxing). I was going to have to ask Pein to try to make our weekends more eventful. I mean, we don't have to rob a bank or anything but still. Or maybe we do. We are S-rank criminals.

As I was pondering the matter, my phone beeped.

I rolled onto my side and grabbed my cell phone off my bedside table.

I answered the phone. "Yeah?"

"'Sup, Katsuki-chan!" a female voice said.

At first I was confused. "Who's this? And how did you get my number?"

"It's me!" the girl said. "You know, Jess 'Fenikkusu?'"

Oh! Now I knew who it was. And I was starting to get some very ingenious thoughts.

"J-chan!" I said coolly. "'Sup! You should totally come over."

"Now?" Jess asked.

"Yup. And brings some tunes. One's we can use. Capiche?"

"Oh! Okay! See you in a bit!"

We hung up.

I gave the peace sign. "Score."

Not long after making the call, Jess made her big entrance. No really. She really succeeded in making a big entrance because she came through the air vent. To our advantage, me and Izuru were the only ones in the living room at that time.

"Hey Katsuki-chan," she greeted happily.

Jess had elbow length black hair and gold eyes.

"Nice entrance," I commented.

"Pein-sama would kill me otherwise, wouldn't he?" Jess noted.

"But aren't you technically a member?"

"Not a very liked one. Thanks to you."

I smirked. She had a point. Thanks to my capability of dragging most all my friends into wacky situations that made the male Akatsuki members form bad opinions. If it wasn't for the fact I was so good at my job I'm sure Pein would've fired me by now.

"So did you bring the tunes?" I asked.

"Yup," Jess held up an iPod speaker base that had her iPod she had named 'Jakkuru' in it. "I also bought those things. Y'know the ones from that Kirigakure mission?"

"Oh your thinking is spot on today, J-chan."

Izuru got up from the couch. "Okay, now I'm curious. What are you two scheming?"

I whispered a few things to Jess and then turned back to my inquisitive boyfriend.

"You'll see," I smiled.

Then Jess crawled back into the air vents. I moved the furniture to make space in the center of the room. Then I started working with some paper.

"I still don't get it," Izuru said. "All I see is what looks like arts and crafts."

"S-rank criminals don't do arts and crafts," I laughed.

"Deidara does."


A small while later Jess was back and ready to go. She bounced giddily. I called everyone, excluding Pein into the room.

"Hi guys!" Jess grinned.

Once the boys caught sight of Jess they attempted to back out.

"Don't even think about it," I said.

"Why not, un?" Deidara challenged.

Jess pulled out a remote and pressed the button on it.

Suddenly a huge shock electrocuted Deidara.

"Jess planted electrocution chips on you guys," I explained. "We can take them off you but you'll have to do something for that. And I wouldn't suggest trying to take them off by yourselves."

As I said that, Hidan was already being shocked.

"Now you tell us," he growled.

Itachi stepped forward. "So what are you requesting?"

"You have to play a game," Jess explained. "You just sit over there in the middle of the living room. We have two groups. A 'girls and boyfriend' group and an 'everyone else' group. You guys in the 'everyone else' group have to randomly draw a piece of paper from a hat and have to do whatever is written on the hat. It's called the 'Random Game: The Music Edition!'"

The boys hesitated.

"I wonder if it's better to be shocked?" Kisame pondered aloud.

I fake coughed. "Wimp."

"Fine, we'll do it."

A second later we were all sitting on the floor.

"So what makes this, 'The Music Edition?'" Zetsu asked.

"Because we girls get to play songs whenever we see fit," I answered, nodding towards the iPod speaker base.

The boys groaned in displeasure.

"Okay, who goes first?" Jess asked.

"Itachi-kun," I replied.

Itachi reached into the hat and pulled out a piece of paper.

He read it aloud, "Have your partner dye your hair pink."

Itachi twitched.

"Ooh, you got the special double challenge," Jess giggled.

Sasazuka got up and left to get something from her room. When she came back, she had a container of pink hair die.

"I won this in some raffle drawing," she said. "I wondered how I'd use it."

She handed it to Kisame.

Kisame smiled his toothy grin. "Well, it's no good to disobey orders."

Itachi looked at Kisame for a second…and then ran.

Kisame chased Itachi as he dodged around the room. No one had any idea how but they ended up going in a full circle.

Jess laughed, taking notice and pushed a button on her iPod. At that moment Flo Rida and Ke$ha's rendition of Right Round blasted from the speakers.

That caught Kisame off guard and he tripped. The container fell and burst and pink hair dye flew all over the both of them. They both ended up with pink hair.

Everyone snickered.

"Smooth move Kisame-kun," I remarked.

Itachi was apparently pissed at Kisame because he used his tsukiyomi on him right then and then left to go try to wash the dye out his own hair.

"Okay!" I said, ready to get back to the game. "Who's next? Jess, you pick."

"Hmm, how about…Sasori-kun?"

Sasori pulled a piece of paper out the hat and read aloud, "Await further instruction from Katsuki."

Sasori glared at me.

"I haven't even done anything yet," I rolled my eyes. "This one's easy."

I reached into a nearby stack of paper and whispered to Jess. Then I gave the piece of paper to Sasori. It was a picture. A picture of Orochimaru after a makeover. As soon as the picture reached Sasori's hand, Jess turned on Michael Jackson's Thriller.

Sasori screamed when he caught site of the picture and then fainted.

"Sasori-kun!" Jess fake-scolded. "You fainted before I was done listening to the music."

We fell into evil laughter.

I was a bit disappointed that he fainted so fast. No one had any idea how hard it was for me and Jess to get our hands on that picture.

I didn't need to be too disappointed yet though. We still had other members to torture...

A/N: Thanks for reading part 1. :D Part 2 should be coming soon! If you have any idea, PM me, or of you're an anon reviewer, just put your ideas in a review. Arigato gozaimasu!