Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Naruto are property of Masashi Kishimoto. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.

Warning! AU. Half SasuNaru, half Uchiha sibling gen. Contains language and lime. I don't write lemon but I do appreciate a little bit of sexy mischief ;) I couldn't resist adding Itachi and Deidara to the mix, either. If you've read my Path fics, you can presume this is the same universe, though the DeiIta is very vague here. I've also attempted some humour here and there so please forgive me if I suck at it- I'm not used to it! Please enjoy :)

2fast2uchiha

By Nanaki Lioness

Uchiha Itachi was quietly lamenting the loss of the lovely evening he had had planned that day. The idea had been a nice one, too- he'd intended to come home from college, study for a few hours, maybe get something light to eat and then relax with a book and an early night.

He'd been just thinking about taking a break a few hours later as night began to fall when he heard a sound he couldn't place, drawing him to the window in confusion to try and find the source. He noted a flashy car parking right by his front gate, letting the curtain drop back with a soft sigh. Was there really any need for such loud music? Surely it made concentrating more difficult?

He'd settled back at the desk only to be interrupted by the doorbell, throwing his pen down in annoyance and stalking off to answer it. He wasn't entirely sure what he was expecting, but what he got wasn't it at all.

His younger brother Sasuke waved set of car keys triumphantly at him, standing in the shadow of the Nissan Skyline he'd just parked up in the street.

"I passed," he remarked proudly. "Dad lost his bet that I wouldn't."

Itachi stared at him for a moment, leaning back against the doorframe as Deidara appeared inquisitively behind him. Their usually sensible father had been coaxed into placing a bet with Sasuke- Sasuke had been an awful learner driver, so their father must have been truly confident when he'd offhandedly stated 'Sasuke, you are an dreadful driver- if you pass your test first time I'll buy you a Skyline and insure it myself'.

"I can't believe he actually kept his side of the deal," Itachi eventually sighed. "The insurance on that thing must be incredible."

"I really don't care," Sasuke replied, a daredevil flash crossing his eyes. "Want to come for a ride? I want to test her out."

"Surely you tested it driving it to me?"

"Ah, but you weren't there to see."

"I'd rather you simply called me when you're planning on taking it out so I can avoid the roads."

Sasuke frowned at him and beckoned, stepping off the porch and heading back to the vehicle. "Shut up and get in."

Itachi sighed once more and stepped out of the house, walking up to the undeniably sexy car to inspect it. Deidara followed, casting a haughty glance in Sasuke's direction as he set one eye across the car in a fast, sweeping motion.

"I suppose it's true that some guys use their car to make up for lacking in other areas, yeah," he spoke loudly, smirking at Sasuke's thunderous look in response.

Much to Itachi's vexation, his best friend and his brother didn't get along in the slightest- they were both far too volatile to share the same stage, so to speak. Itachi knew Sasuke was secretly jealous that the artist shared his big brother's attention, and Deidara was hot headed enough to clash back.

"Come on, get in," Sasuke finally spoke curtly, opening the passenger door and shooing his brother inside. He cast a look to Deidara as an afterthought. "I don't mean you either, Blondie."

"Get in Deidara," Itachi replied, overriding his brother's decision and practically pushing Deidara into the back of the car before turning back to Sasuke. "I'm not leaving him alone because terrible incidents occur regarding my things if I do. If you want me to come, you'll have to just get along nicely with him."

"I'd rather just ignore him," Sasuke muttered, getting into the driver's seat begrudgingly and turning the key in the ignition. The car flared into life, purring like a content kitten as he revved the engine gently.

The car itself was gorgeous- Itachi would never, ever admit it out loud but he felt attraction to sleek, beautiful cars must have been in the Uchiha genes. It was black and glossy, a presumably expensive sound system installed with blue under-lighting and huge, deceptively comfortable bucket seats in a mild grey colour. It was the type of car people would fawn over in the street and think (not that Itachi was, oh no) 'wow, now that's a car I'd fuck into the morning light and I'd even call it back, too'.

"Isn't the blue lighting illegal?" Itachi questioned as Sasuke glanced over his shoulder to Deidara, dark eyes locking on blue to glare sharply at his presence once more. Deidara simply flipped his hair and turned to the window, earning a mutter of 'fucking girl' from Sasuke before he turned back again.

"Do I look like I give a shit?"

"You're going to get pulled over if you don't turn it off."

"I haven't yet."

"That doesn't mean you won't. Turn it off."

Sasuke muttered something unintelligible but flicked a switch and did as requested, pulling the car out onto the road with more care than Itachi had expected. Then again Sasuke had referred to it as a 'she', showing he was already attached to the metal contraption and presumably didn't want to put it in any danger. Itachi didn't flatter himself that Sasuke had put any thought into the safety of his less than willing passengers.

"So where are we going?" He asked as Sasuke leant down to turn the stereo on, knowing he wasn't going to get another chance to speak above what he knew would be ridiculous noise- he'd caught a glimpse of it when he'd parked the car, after all.

"Cruising," Sasuke responded, proceeding to deafen them with the sound the speakers emitted. Dance music with a deep bassline thumped through the car, vibrating their entire bodies as Sasuke grinned and turned his attention back to the road. Itachi gave it about thirty seconds before discreetly turning it down a notch.

They were gliding through a main street about twenty minutes later, music blaring from the open windows and crawling along like a dark monster prowling through the night before Deidara finally attracted Sasuke's attention.

"Isn't that your boyfriend?" He yelled over the sound of the stereo, which Itachi gladly took as a reason to turn it down.

Sasuke slammed his foot on the brakes, screeching the car to a rapid halt. Deidara gripped the back of Itachi's seat with a strangled cry- Itachi was too dignified for such an action, but he did leave fingernail marks in his palms as he tightly clenched his fists.

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled out the open window, causing the blond illuminated in the headlights to turn around with a confused glance. His face lit up as he realised who was in the car, racing up to Sasuke as he jumped out to greet him.

"You passed?" He asked rather needlessly, crushing Sasuke in a hug. "Congratulations!"

"Get off," Sasuke muttered, casting a glance to his brother and Deidara in the car before nudging Naruto away. "Yes, I passed. Dad kept his end of the bargain, as you can see."

"This thing is a beast," Naruto replied, circling around the car as Sasuke leant through the window and flicked the under-lighting back on. Naruto's face brightened even more as Sasuke leant against the door, looking proud.

"She's a beast alright," he practically purred. "The only kind of curves I'll ever be attracted to."

Naruto gave him a coy grin. "Don't go cheating on me with her, will you?"

"I'm sure we can arrange a threesome later," Sasuke promised, returning the grin and beckoning to the door Naruto was standing next to. "Get in, then."

Naruto hopped in without any further prompting, grinning at Deidara as he did so.

"Hey, long time no see!" He greeted with an enthusiastic wave as Sasuke rolled his eyes, slipping back into the driver's seat.

"Naruto," Deidara nodded, returning the wave. "How have you been? Your guard dog's been a little protective lately, yeah. I've barely seen you."

"Oh he's a puppy really," Naruto grinned, waving a hand in Sasuke's direction.

"I am not a fucking puppy," Sasuke muttered as he turned the key in the ignition once more, the friendly banter in the backseat clearly bothering him. It was one thing that he had to suffer the artist's company because of his brother, but another entirely that his idiot of a boyfriend actually got on well with him.

"Just ignore them and concentrate on the road," Itachi advised, wisely turning the blue under-lighting back off as Sasuke pulled away. "Shall we go and do something since we're all together?"

"It does seem rather futile to simply drive around and do nothing, yeah," Deidara agreed, Naruto nodding in agreement as well.

"You're welcome to get the fuck out and walk if you'd like, Deidara."

"Could you two at least try to get along?" Itachi sighed heavily, putting one hand to his forehead and rubbing a weary hand across his eyes. Perhaps he could convince Sasuke to drop him off at home so he could settle down with that book he'd been rather hoping for? Would it be too much to ask for a simple quiet evening?

"How cute, protecting your girlfriend from your evil little brother," Sasuke remarked, earning a sidelong glare from his brother at the quip. "I wonder if she fucks on first dates."

"Not until third dates, yeah."

Sasuke blinked a few times at Deidara's quick witted response, formulating one of his own. Uchihas were rarely outdone on anything, and smart remarks were definitely something they excelled at.

"So where would the first two dates be?" He enunciated in response. "The shopping mall and the hairdresser?"

"Stop it, both of you," Itachi told them sharply. As usual, he was taking the role of mediator and once again he was swiftly ignored. Deidara folded his arms crossly and leant back in the seat, glaring out of the window.

"At least I have style, yeah. Daddy had to buy the most stylist thing you own."

"You catty little bitch," Sasuke replied incredulously before yelping as Itachi grabbed the steering wheel and steered the car swiftly to the side of the road.

"Can I drive?" He asked once Sasuke had sat in stunned silence for a few moments. "I'd like to see how it handles."

"Why don't I believe that?" Sasuke asked rhetorically. Itachi simply stared at him impassively until he got out, walking around to the passenger seat as Itachi slid over into the driver's seat.

"If you so much as even look like you're going to damage it, I'm going to be very upset," Sasuke warned as Itachi turned the key.

"Sasuke, I've had an impeccable license for a while now," Itachi reminded him. "Why would I suddenly forget how to drive just because it's your car?"

He turned the wheel, marvelling at how effortlessly it glided beneath his fingers. He wasn't going to voice it out loud however, flicking the stereo back up just a little. He was an Uchiha after all, even if he repressed the less desirable sides of his heritage, and Uchihas knew how to impress. If he was going to drive (cruise) along in the car (sexy, sexy panther of a car) he was going to do it well.

"Since when were you interested in cars like this?" Sasuke asked sceptically, folding his arms as he sulked about Deidara's comments.

"Right now you don't possess the maturity for such a vehicle," Itachi replied smoothly, earning a stunned glance from Sasuke and snickering from both parties in the back seat. "You can't laugh, Deidara," he added with a glance over his shoulder. "Right now even Naruto is more mature than both of you put together."

"Hell yeah!" Naruto grinned, thumping the air before realising he probably shouldn't be so proud, lowering his fist after a moment sheepishly.

"Idiot," Sasuke muttered, glaring out the window. "You have five minutes, Itachi, then I'm taking over again. You can drive above thirty you know."

"This is a residential area, Sasuke."

"Then get on a decent road and show me you're an Uchiha after all. I want to see one hundred on the clock."

"You want me to drive dangerously in a half hearted attempt to prove the heritage I clearly already have?"

"You really are adopted or something, aren't you?" Sasuke sighed, rolling his eyes. "How are you and I so different?"

"Because you're a jerk and he's not, yeah."

"Shut the fuck up, Deidara."

Itachi mulled over Sasuke's challenge for a moment, surveying their surroundings to collect his bearings before turning off the street and into a side road. The speed limit was forty so he hovered exactly on that line as he executed a perfect handbrake turn around the upcoming bend, earning a glance of surprise from Sasuke.

"Your brother's good," Naruto called from the backseat.

"He's a show off," Sasuke complained under his breath, gripping the side of the seat as Itachi conducted another handbrake turn on the next sharp bend at forty perfect miles per hour. "Itachi, slow down around the bends at least!"

"You told me to show you I'm an Uchiha," Itachi replied, his voice sounding as close to conceited as possible for him. "I refuse to break any laws to do so, but that doesn't mean I can't handle your car."

"If you crash my car I am never speaking to you again, you hear me?"

"I won't crash your car," Itachi reassured him. "Trust me, Sas-"

"Stop the car!" Sasuke screeched sharply and at a high enough velocity to temporarily deafen his companions. He also managed to earn a tiny yelp of surprise from Itachi, prompting him to slam the brakes and turn to his brother with slightly panicked eyes.

"What?" He asked, his voice just a tiny bit shaken. "What is it?"

Sasuke simply tapped the clock on the dashboard, giving him a mildly conceited grin. "Your five minutes are up."

Itachi fixed him with a trademark Uchiha glare before calming his racing heart enough to step out of the car without looking unsteady, slinking back into the passenger seat and attempting to formulate a way of saying 'Father, please buy me a Skyline as well' without sounding jealous, spoiled or arrogant.

"Can we stop soon?"

Predictably, Sasuke pointedly ignored Deidara speaking from the back as he buckled his seatbelt in the driver's seat. Naruto tapped his partner on the shoulder to helpfully gain his attention, earning an irritated glance in response.

"Deidara's talking to you."

Sasuke muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like 'I'm aware' before speaking again. "What?"

"I'm hungry, yeah."

"Am I supposed to care?" Sasuke shrugged, turning his attention back to the road.

"He has a point," Itachi spoke up. "We hadn't eaten when you picked us up. Find somewhere we can stop for a bit."

"I don't want to stop," Sasuke replied, rolling his eyes in frustration. "That's the point of cruising around enjoying the new car."

"You'll have to stop for petrol eventually anyway."

"This baby runs on moonlight."

"Remarkable. I'm sure the cashier will be thrilled when we ask to buy some moonlight at the petrol station."

"Oh shut up," Sasuke replied firmly. "The tank's still three quarters full so no, I'm not stopping soon."

"A whole three quarters? That's got to be about five miles, right?"

"Funny."

"True, though. How many miles to the gallon, Sasuke?"

"Twenty," Sasuke muttered inaudibly. "It doesn't matter- I'm not stopping until we're running on fumes."

"That's so terrible for your car."

"I'm hungry too," Naruto whined, tapping the back of Sasuke's seat and giving him puppy dog eyes even though Sasuke couldn't see them- the tone of his voice clearly showed that he was attempting them.

"Fine," Sasuke snapped, evidently unimpressed with the course of events but unable to turn Naruto down. He missed the wink Naruto gave Deidara in the back seat, and the glance Itachi shared with him in the side view mirror. Ganging up on the youngest Uchiha was the only way to do things sometimes.

Sasuke pulled into a fast food restaurant car park on the next street, heading for the drive through before Itachi placed a hand on his arm to stop him.

"Don't worry about the drive-in."

"Just eat in the car and don't make any mess," Sasuke replied flatly, shaking his brother's arm free. "I told you I don't want to stop. I'm not eating so I'll just keep driving."

"I'm not eating anything from here either," Itachi countered. "I appreciate my health. I'm not asking you to stop- I'm asking you to stay at the entrance so I can use the bathroom, and I'll order while I'm inside."

"That's still stopping."

Itachi raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "You can either stop now, or you can stop later and I'll utilise the side of your car instead. Your choice, Sasuke."

Sasuke muttered inaudibly but pulled up at the entrance anyway, turning to Deidara and demanding him out of the car as well.

"Your brother's such a jackass sometimes, yeah," Deidara complained to Itachi as he got out as requested, Itachi's response muted by the slam of the car door.

Once alone in the car, Sasuke clambered over the seats into the back with Naruto and gestured to the interior of the car around them.

"So, what do you think?" He asked, pride evident in his voice. "She's gorgeous, right?"

"I already told you what I thought," "Naruto replied, raising an eyebrow. "You want me to stroke your ego some more?"

"Not my ego," Sasuke replied quietly, climbing into Naruto's lap and pinning him back against the seat in an almost feral kiss. Naruto didn't resist, running his hands through Sasuke's hair as he responded with equal passion.

"For someone who wasn't pleased about stopping you seem pretty happy," Naruto noted with a curious grin as they broke apart, gasping for the air they had deprived themselves of.

"I got over it," Sasuke shrugged, returning his lips to Naruto's neck instead. Naruto pushed him off, shaking his head slightly and indicating the window.

"What if they come back?"

Sasuke gave him one last grin before jumping back in the driver's seat, firing the car to life and promptly driving away. Naruto blinked a couple of times as he swung the car through the car park to the furthest darkened corner, parking it and turning all the lights off.

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke flicked the stereo back on, the thumping music vibrating through their bodies as he climbed back into Naruto's lap.

"Naruto, meet my baby," Sasuke whispered in his ear. "I think you need to become well acquainted with her."

"Turning the lights off so Itachi can't see it right away doesn't mean he can't hear it," Naruto countered, his voice coming out in gasps as Sasuke suckled on his neck.

"Shut up," Sasuke breathed into his ear, voice thick with desire. "The doors are locked anyway."

"The windows aren't tint- oh god, Sasuke, keep doing that."

Sasuke removed his wandering hand, unbuckling Naruto's belt with it instead. "Now we're on the same wavelength," he uttered, sealing any further comments Naruto may have had with another heavy kiss. They broke apart, Sasuke deftly pulling Naruto's dark shirt off over his head and throwing it carelessly behind him.

"But we shouldn't-"

The last of Naruto's sentence was consumed by a moan as Sasuke slipped down to the floor of the car, tracing his tongue down the other's chest as he went.

"Anyone would think you didn't want me to touch you," Sasuke complained in a murmur that was spoken into Naruto's thigh as he nipped lightly at the soft, freshly exposed skin. "This car is just begging for it, isn't she Naruto?"

"You're not touching the car," Naruto gasped as Sasuke enveloped him with his lips, sucking lightly. "But they- outside, they-"

Sasuke broke away, looking unimpressed. "That's half the fun," he explained. "My brother is far too repressed to be voyeuristic, and he'll keep the other idiot away too. It's just you, me and the car."

Naruto reached down to Sasuke and slipped his shirt off, discarding it to one side with lustful, half lidded eyes. "If you insist," he breathed, burying his head in Sasuke's neck as Sasuke continued his previous oral ministrations. His hands strayed into Sasuke's hair, tugging until Sasuke moaned in pleasure and his hands attempted to clutch at something, anything, as though he needed to steady himself despite kneeling on the rough carpeted floor of the Skyline.

"Sasuke," Naruto breathed, his voice barely above a pleasured whimper. Sasuke didn't hear it above the sound of the bassline thudding around them, giving him a beat to fall into rhythm with as whatever Naruto wanted to say was lost in his mind to the all encompassing bliss.

-.-.-

"Did he seriously drive away and leave us, yeah?" Deidara complained as he and Itachi stood at the restaurant entrance, eyes fixed on the spot Sasuke's car had been before they left.

"Are you deaf?" Itachi sighed, one hand to his forehead in a manner that suggested he was currently experiencing some kind of mental scarring- which he was, since he was incredibly smart and had worked out approximately three seconds after stepping outside where the car was and why. "The car is here, but we should pretend that it isn't."

Deidara took a sip of the drink he was holding, looking confused. "I don't understand, yeah."

"Be thankful," Itachi murmured, simply leaning back against the restaurant wall and closing his eyes. "We can go and meet them soon- just be patient."

Deidara had finally located the car and was watching it in the corner of the car park, eyes narrowed in curious scrutiny as the car rocked just slightly before they widened sharply. "Are you saying those two-"

He cut himself off, apparently reaching the appropriate conclusion himself. Itachi gave him a single nod before glancing up at the sky in silent prayer, wondering how on earth his evening had managed to turn out so differently than he had originally planned.

-.-.-

Author's Note: This was way, way too much fun. I hope you enjoyed it, too! :)

Just for reference, I had the song in the car at the end in mind as something called Power Plant from the Bionic Commando OST (the remade version of it that came out recently). It is perfect ;)