Alright so this bit me last night on my way home and I had to get it out. It was something of a therapy session so its heavy on the ansgt but there is a happy ending, you might want to get a kleenex or two just in case. Let me know what you think.
Here Without You
'Have you seen my husband? Please I can't find him! Help me find my husband!' he begged as he slammed on doors and ran into people. 'Please, I need him, I have to find him! Draco where are you Baby?' he began to shout as his desperation mounted.
'Harry, you need to calm down son.' An elderly gentleman appeared and tried to calm Harry, but Harry wasn't having any of it.
'I will not calm down! Where is my husband? Why are you keeping him from me?' Harry fought with the two men who were holding his arms as he yelled at the older man.
'We've been through this Harry, Draco is dead.' The older man, Dr Helmsley, said.
'No! No!' Harry struggled harder against the two orderlies that were trying to restrain him. 'No! He is NOT dead, you hear me? Draco isn't dead! Let me go! I want to see my husband!' Harry tried to bite the orderly however Dr. Helmsley had been able to inject a sedative into Harry and his struggles began to weaken. He continued to protest as he was taken back to his room and the orderlies strapped him down to his bed. Harry was soon asleep, though it was anything but restful.
Dr. Helmsley sighed. This wasn't the first time Harry had done this but the poor man refused to accept the fact that Draco was dead.
It was a true tragedy. Very Shakespearean if someone were to ask not that anyone ever had.
Draco and Harry had just gotten married actually having only just gotten to their own reception after the photo session and celebratory sex in the limo.
Seamus Finnigan, who was acting as MC for the night had just introduced the new couple and as they appeared around the corner of the Burrow two shots had rung out, which odd because they were all wizards.
'You're mine Harry! You belong to me!' Ginny Weasley had begun to shout. Harry hadn't heard any of it because he had been focused on Draco who was covering his bleeding abdomen not able to comprehend what had happened.
Charlie and Bill Weasley had tackled their sister as the others scrambled to help Draco and to call for help. Poppy Pomfrey was there and she was directed to Draco and began to work on him. Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy had had to pull a distraught Harry away from Draco so Poppy and Remus Lupin could work on Draco.
The gun fired again and Charlie was gripping his own stomach as Bill lay on the ground, unconscious. Before anyone could stop her Ginny shot Draco once in the heart and twice in the head.
Severus clung to Harry who was sobbing and screaming as he fought against the tight hold that he had on Harry. Several stunning curses were thrown at Ginny as Aurors finally went into action. Molly was clutching at Arthur, Ron held a sobbing Hermione as Fred and George helped Bill and Charlie. Remus clung to Lucius who clutched at Remus' arms as he pet Draco's hair.
Harry stepped on Severus' foot, surprising the man, which was all Harry needed to break free.
He collapsed to the ground next to his husband and pulled him to his chest as he muttered nonsense to the blonde.
That has been almost a year ago and Harry still refused to accept the fact that Draco was dead and he had been at the funeral.
Ginny was a permanent resident of the psych ward at Azkaban.
Dr Helmsley sighed as he placed his call.
'John, what can I do for you tonight?' a surprised Remus Lupin asked as he wiped his hands with a dish towel. 'How's Harry doing?'
'That's what I'm calling about Remus, I'm sorry about the lateness but I thought it best to tell you immediately.' He replied. 'Is Lucius around? He should hear this too.'
'Do you want us to come over?' Remus asked concerned.
John nodded, 'That would probably be best.'
'We'll be right there,' Remus said before he ended the floo.
John leaned back in his chair and sighed, at this rate Harry would become a permanent member of this ward, and that was not something that any of them wanted. Every time he seemed to be getting better something would happen and he would revert back to what had happened tonight. He was at a loss as to what he could do to help Harry.
'What is it John?' Lucius asked, John had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't even heard the floo.
'Merlin's beard, I'm going to have to get you boy's bells or something.' He said lightly.
Lucius gave a light chuckle and Remus smiled apologetically.
'Harry had another episode tonight.' John said getting straight to the point.
Lucius cursed and stood to stare out the window as Remus' eyes closed as a lone tear escaped.
'There is hope, this is the longest he's gone between episodes.' John said with a touch of hope.
'There has to be something we can do,' Remus stated after taking a deep breath.
'I wish there was but I'm running out of ideas.' John replied honestly.
'Let me see him,' Lucius said suddenly.
'Mr. Malfoy we've been through this,' John began.
'I know,' Lucius snapped, 'but clearly what you are doing isn't working.' Lucius turned to stare at the older doctor who was surprised to see such emotion in the normally stoic man.
The world had been shocked to find out that the man they had thought was Lucius Malfoy wasn't. It had been an imposter, a man who had worked as an assistant to an assistant to Lucius and had taken over his identity. He had kept Lucius alive, locked in the basement of Malfoy Manor so he could continue to make polyjuice potion so he could be Lucius.
'I need to see my son, please,' Lucius pleaded. John studied Lucius for a moment before he nodded and Lucius smile in relief.
'Fine, but it has to be on my terms and not right now. Harry has to recover from this before you see him. In a week or two,' John said firmly.
Lucius nodded, 'I just want to see my son,' he affirmed. Remus pulled Lucius into his arms. He knew the blond was hurting; Remus had been able to see Harry but Lucius because he looked so like Draco had been denied.
A week and two days later Lucius stood nervously outside Harry's room. He watched Harry as he wrote in the spiral notebook furiously. He stood there for almost 5 minutes just watching.
'Harry,' he said his voice gruff.
The tousled head snapped up at the familiar voice. It took only a second for Harry to take in the person at the door and when he did he launched himself at Lucius.
'Draco baby, where have you been? I missed you so much. They wouldn't let me see you. They keep telling me you're dead.' He babbled into Lucius chest.
Lucius had to close his eyes as silent tears rolled down his cheeks as he held Harry tightly.
Suddenly Harry pulled away and he shoved Lucius back. 'Who the fuck are you? You're not Draco!' he slapped Lucius, 'Who the fuck do you think you think you are? You can't just come in here and pretend to be someone!' he slapped Lucius as he ranted.
The orderly moved to sedate Harry but Lucius shook him off.
'You're right Harry, I'm not Draco. I'm his father, Lucius.' He said cutting through the brunets rant.
Harry stopped and stared at Lucius for a second. He started to beat Lucius' chest. 'Where the hell have you been you bastard? Where's Draco? You always hated me, this is your fault!'
Lucius wrapped his arms around Harry and let Harry attack him all the while repeating, 'I'm sorry.'
'Why can't I see Draco?' Harry asked as he calmed.
'Harry, Draco is dead,' Lucius said softly, tightening his hold on Harry.
'No!' Harry shoved Lucius away roughly, 'He's not dead! He's not! You're a fucking liar! I hate you! Get out! He's not dead you lying bastard!' Harry screamed and the orderly finally sedated him.
'I'm sorry Harry, so, so sorry,' Lucius repeated as Harry grew limp in his arms. He lay Harry in the bed as he fought his own emotions.
He gave Harry a gentle kiss and Harry smiled groggily as he caressed Lucius cheek with the back of his hand, 'I love you Dragon,' he whispered before the drugs took hold and he slipped into a sedated sleep.
Lucius sat next to Harry in silence.
'Lucius?' John stood in the doorway. 'It's late, you should go home and get some rest,' he said gently. Lucius nodded and stood. 'Come on you can use the floo in my office.' Lucius headed to John's office without saying anything to the doctor.
John didn't go with Lucius; he stood in the doorway to Harry's room and watched to young man sleep. The 21 year old shouldn't be here, he should be out there, in a club with his husband and friends. He should be living his life not simply existing. 'What are we going to do for you Harry?' he asked not expecting an answer. He didn't get one.
Lucius stepped elegantly from the floo and found Remus reading next to the fire, though he only seemed to be staring at the page and not actually reading it.
It took a minute for Remus to register Lucius presence but when he did he put the book on the table and went to stand only to find Lucius kneeling on the floor in front of him.
Placing his head in Remus' lap Lucius began to sob.
Remus' heart went out to his own husband and he bent down to kiss his head as he ran his hand through Lucius hair.
Severus couldn't take it anymore. He had to do something. He had an idea he just hoped it would work. He had talked to Dr. Helmsley and while the doctor was understandably hesitant he was at his wits end because nothing they did for Harry seemed to snap him into reality.
Maybe Harry needed this. Maybe this would help bring home the fact that Draco was gone.
They decided that Severus would be the one to do it because well he had the least amount to lose if this blew up in their faces. Remus and Lucius couldn't lose another son, though they were quickly on their way to that scenario.
'Professor Snape, what are you doing here?' Harry asked as he made his bed, something that Severus found oddly endearing despite the setting they were in.
'I have something I think you should see,' Severus replied, vaguely.
'What? Do you need help with something?' Harry asked. Before Draco had been murdered Harry had been apprenticing under Severus, the pair had come to a truce for the war and then as Harry had acted as Severus' nurse maid through his recovery they had found a respect and companionship. Severus had found himself becoming attracted to the younger man but refused to say anything because he believed that Harry had deserved someone younger, someone more deserving of his affection then the slimy, greasy ex-death-eater that lived in the dungeons. He had found that someone else in Draco. It had torn Severus' heart but he was happy for them, they deserved happiness.
'No, this isn't anything I'm working on.' He handed the folder to Harry, 'These are photos that I think you should take a look at.' Harry hesitated as they locked eyes, both still held the folder for a moment before Harry took it to look at the photos that were a mix of muggle and magical.
They were photos of the crime scene. Of Draco, still in his rumpled tux lying in the bloodied grass at the burrow. Of the carnage of the aftermath when Draco had been taken to the hospital. Of Draco's autopsy.
'What the fuck is this? Some kind of sick joke?' Harry was furious but he spoke with a deadly calm.
'No Harry it's not a joke. Those are the crime photos of when Draco was murdered at your reception.' Severus replied, trying to keep his emotions from getting out.
'No, it's a lie, you're a fucking liar,' Harry shouted angrily as he throw the file back at Snape. 'Draco isn't dead! He isn't! You fucking lying bastard! Get the hell away from me! I don't want to see you again you fucking bastard! I hate you! I hate you!'
The orderlies held Harry back as Severus and a nurse hurriedly gathered up the photos and with one final sad look at Harry who was still cursing Severus he left.
The first thing first thing Severus did when he arrived at Lucius' manor was pour himself a glass of scotch, the cheep stuff. He downed it on go.
'Severus?' Remus asked hesitantly. Severus didn't reply he poured himself another glassful, getting a significant amount on the countertop. He downed that one too before he slammed the glass down. He his shoulders slumped as he hung his head. Suddenly he flung both the glass and the bottle at the wall with an angry yell. Then suddenly he was in someone's arms and he sobbing into them, heart wrenching sobs that tore at both Remus and Lucius, who happened to be holding the normally stoic man.
A week passed and Harry was left alone except for the orderly who would bring him his meal and Dr. Helmsley who would go to talk to him.
On one such visit John found Harry curled up in a corner holding the picture of him and Draco on their wedding day, they had been so happy.
His eyes were red and he had tears dripping from his chin as he caressed the laughing Draco in the muggle photo. Seamus has said something decidedly vulgar about Harry and a broom stick and Draco had said that they had already done that when Ron had covered his ears and had shouted too much information. It was Harry's favourite picture.
'He's really gone isn't he?' Harry asked not looking up at Dr. Helmsley.
'I'm afraid so Harry,' he replied gently, his heart breaking again for this young man he had come to care for greatly.
'I just,' he squeezed his eyes shut, 'I just,' he couldn't breathe suddenly, 'I miss,' he refused to cry if he did he didn't think he would ever stop, 'hurts,' no he wouldn't break, 'so fucking much,' he panted.
A soft hand touched his shoulder and an equally soft voice said, 'I know.' And that was Harry's undoing.
'Noooo!' whether it was a denial to the realisation that his husband was dead or that he was trying to deny his tears Harry howled his pain before his body was wracked by pain-filled sobs as he clutched the photo to his chest tightly.
John did the only thing he could do, which was sit on the floor with Harry and hold him tightly in offer of comfort.
Harry cried for well over an hour and John held him the entire time. Harry cried himself into exhaustion and fell asleep as John rocked him murmuring nonsense to Harry all the while.
John finally put Harry to bed and after cleaning the tears and snot from both Harry and his robes he headed back to his office.
Merlin, he had never felt so drained in all his years as a doctor but he also felt lighter.
He gave a small smile as he tossed some floo onto the fire.
'What is it John? Did something happen? Is Harry alright?' Lucius asked seeing John's haggard appearance.
'Yes something did,' John gave a small smile, 'I think Harry will be fine, you can come in the morning because he's asleep for the first time without the aid of any drugs.'
'What happened?' Lucius asked desperate to find what exactly has happened.
'It seems that Harry has finally begun to accept the truth,' John replied.
'How is he?' Lucius asked as he realised what that meant.
'He is asleep at the moment. He will probably want to see Draco's grave so be prepare for that, but other than that he'll probably be an emotional wreck for a while.'
Lucius nodded, 'Thank you for letting us know, John. You should get some sleep you look like shit,' he said with a small grin.
'I had no idea,' John replied sarcastically, he almost stuck his tongue out but decided against it, he wasn't that immature.
'We'll see you tomorrow John,' Lucius replied.
'Good night Lucius,' John ended the call and sighed. He made one more round and looked in on Harry once more before he headed home. He wanted to see his twin sons and kiss his wife and tell her how much he adored her.
It had been a few weeks since Harry's meltdown but now that he had finally accepted the fact that Draco was in fact dead, Harry seemed lighter.
There was a knock on his door and he turned from the window to find Remus standing in the door way with Lucius and Severus.
He gave them a watery grin.
'You ready to go cub?' Remus asked coming into the room. It was bare now without all the flowers and pictures and books that Harry had had lying around.
Harry nodded, 'yeah, I think I have everything,' he replied. Lucius picked up his bag and Remus slung his arm around Harry and pulled him close.
'You okay?' he asked gently.
Harry gave a watery laugh, 'Eventually I think I'm going to miss this place,' he replied.
'I don't to see you back here Harry!' Greg, one of the orderlies that had been with Harry the most commented as they walked past.
'Like I want to see your ugly mug!' Harry replied as Greg gave a mock cry of indignation.
John met them at the door and Harry surprised everyone by hugging the man. 'Thank you, for everything Dr. Helmsley,' He said giving the doctor a watery smile.
'You are most welcome Harry,' John gave him a less watery smile. 'Remember that you can call me whenever you want no matter how recently we had a session.'
'I will,' Harry replied.
'And you have your father's who would be willing to listen if you need to talk to them. And I'm sure Severus would be a willing listener.' He added with a smirk.
An elf had come and taken Harry's bags from Lucius and Severus held out a portkey. They had a stop to make before they went home.
Lucius, Remus and Severus stood back and watched Harry.
They couldn't hear him but they watched his shoulders shake. Lucius pulled Remus to him and kissed his temple affectionately.
He sank to his knees and caressed the name etched into the stone, Draco Lucien Potter-Malfoy.
Harry let out a pathetic laugh, 'you never got to use your business cards.' He sobbed suddenly and his eyes blurred.
'Gods Dragon I miss you so fucking much,' he managed before he sobbed brokenly. He sat at Draco's grave for almost 3 hours as he alternated between sobbing brokenly and talking about everything and nothing. Lucius, Severus and Remus never left. Severus had conjured a bench for them to sit and Remus was currently napping with his head in Lucius lap as the blond stroked his husband's hair gently. It was a long bench.
Harry ran a hand over his late husband's name once more then the four words that were below. Beloved Husband, Son, Friend.
With a gentle tug he pulled off the ring that he hadn't taken off in over a year.
'It's only fitting that I do this today,' he said as more tears dripped off his chin. With the ring in the palm of his hand he pressed it to the dragon that was carved into the headstone. 'This wasn't how I pictured us spending today but,' he squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath and pushed his magic out through his palm, 'happy anniversary love,' he whispered brokenly.
When he removed his hand his platinum ring that had been engraved with sapphires it was both his and Draco's favourite stone was now embedded in the stone, hanging from the mouth of the dragon. Harry kissed it softly before he ran his hand across the name one last time, 'I love you Dragon, for always,' he kissed the name before standing.
Lucius gently shook Remus awake.
Harry ran his hand over the top of the headstone and in elegant script that reminded Harry of Draco's own writing, "for always" appeared. Harry gave a soft laugh before he turned and stuffed his hands in his pockets.
Remus pulled Harry into a fierce hug and Harry clung to Remus for a few minutes before pulling away and giving them all a small smile.
'Let's go home,' Remus flung an arm over Harry's shoulders and laughed softly.
'Let's,' he agreed
'Severus?' Harry asked softly, they were both preparing ingredients in Severus' lab. Harry and John had agreed that it was best for Harry to get back into a routine again and so here he was, with Severus as if nothing had ever happened.
Severus made a noise of acknowledgement as he continued to powder the bicorn horn he had.
'I'm sorry about what I said that day, I didn't mean any of it.' Harry said softly but sincerely.
Severus looked up from his powdering and studied Harry, he gave the young man a rare smile, 'well that much is obvious Harry,' the smile morphed into a mischievous smirk, 'or else you wouldn't be here.'
'Git,' Harry laughed as he tossed a slug at Severus. It landed on the man's cheek and Harry only laughed harder at the look of utter disgust that Severus wore.
If anyone else had dared to even think of throwing a slug at him Severus would have hexed them into the next decade but because it was Harry he simply laughed to. He had missed Harry's laugh and while it was rare these days it was a treat to hear.
'It's nice to hear you laugh again Ry,' Severus said as he wiped off his face.
'Thank you,' Harry replied with a smile as he went back to slicing slugs.
'You're welcome, however this doesn't mean I won't get my revenge.' Severus declared as he mock glared at Harry.
'Severus will be good for him.' Remus said from his spot in the door way in Lucius' arms. Lucius hummed in agreement.
It had been 4 years since Draco had been murdered and 3 since Harry had been allowed to come home.
He was well on his way to becoming a brilliant Potion Master in his own right as it had been his improvements on Severus' Wolf's Bane potion that had developed the cure for lycanthropy.
Lucius and Remus had not only adopted 3 children but Remus had carried their youngest having given birth only 4 months ago.
It had also been 2 hours since Harry had run from Severus after kissing the man.
Severus had found Harry at Draco's grave a few hours later.
'I want to be with him Dray but I still love you,' Harry sobbed against the stone slab.
'Harry,' a familiar voice said softly as a hand caressed his hair.
'Draco,' he whispered harshly as his head snapped up.
'Why are you crying baby?' Draco asked in genuine confusion as he cupped Harry's face softly, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.
'I'm so lost Draco, I don't know what to do,' Harry sobbed.
'What's to be confused about, you have a good man that loves you who you love just as much?' Draco replied.
'But what about you?'
'What about me Harry?' Draco retorted, 'I'm not here, you and Sev are. He's a good man and you deserve to be happy and he makes you happy. It's okay to move on Harry,' one of Draco's hands moved to Harry's chest to rest over his heart, 'I'll be here.' He gently kissed Harry's lips before he whispered, 'don't be afraid to be happy,' and then he was gone. Harry gave a sob. Severus had watched the whole scene and he cautiously approached Harry and hoped that now that he had Draco's blessing that Harry would be okay.
'Harry?' he said gently running a hand through Harry's locks which now fell to his shoulders.
He leaned into the touch for a moment before he stood and turned to Severus, his eyes were red and glassy but he seemed to have stopped crying. He had to stand on his toes to bestow a chaste kiss to Severus' lips as he whispered 'I'm sorry.'
Severus pulled Harry into a hug, 'you're forgiven.' He said softly.
It had been almost seven months since that night in the graveyard and Severus and Harry were now officially dating. No one could be happier for the couple.
'Harry?' Severus asked as he finished gutting a frog of its intestines.
Harry hummed in acknowledgement as he focused on milking the snake of its venom.
'I know this might seem rushed but I have to ask because if I don't do it now then I don't know if I ever will.'
Harry finished with the snake and hissed his thanks as he placed it back its tank.
'What did you want to ask?' he turned to give Severus his full attention.
Severus cleared his throat and wiped his hands on his robes before he fished something out of his pocket, 'Circe the last time I was this nervous I was about to take my masters test,' he mumbled.
But he straightened his shoulders and took a deep breath.
'I know we've only been together for a few months but I have loved you for far longer than that. I am a cranky evil bastard and you are beautiful and pure and everything that I am not and every day you let me spend with you I thank the gods that you haven't realized your mistake and told me to get a life. I don't deserve your love but you have given me a great gift and I don't intend to squander it or ever let it go.' Harry gasped as Severus dropped to one knee and opened a small box. Inside was a platinum ring that had several sapphires embedded it. It looked nothing like the one he had gotten from Draco but it was just as beautiful.
'Harry James Potter-Malfoy, would you do me the greatest honour and bond with me?' Harry couldn't breathe or speak or anything. He simply stood there staring blankly at Severus and the longer Harry was silent the more worried he became that he had rushed this, he had ruined everything.
Harry didn't know if it was in his head or he was hearing things but a familiar voice practically shouted, 'Say yes Scarhead you dolt!'
'Merlin Harry, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked, it's too soon, I just I can't not stand to be away from,'
'Yes,' Harry said suddenly cutting off Severus' rant just as it was really getting going.
Severus blinked at Harry. 'What?'
'Yes I'll marry you.' Harry replied, grinning.
Severus was speechless for a moment before he gave a sudden bark of laughter.
He went to slide the ring onto Harry's finger but he was still wearing Draco's ring. 'I should probably retire this,' Harry said with a touch of sadness as he went to pull it off.
'Wait,' Severus stopped Harry and took the ring off Harry for him. 'No,' he declared, 'he still has much of your heart,' he said as he slid the ring onto Harry's right hand, 'and he is your past but you have my heart, let me be your future,' he said as he gently pushed the ring onto Harry's finger.
Harry couldn't help himself, he swatted Severus who gave an indignant cry. 'What was that for?'
'Because you dolt I already said yes,' he replied with a grin.
Severus laughed as he pulled his new fiancé into his arms and kissed him passionately.