La raison

-- La raison d'être, la raison pour aimer, la raison de survivre pour un autre jour.

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A/N: This is my first (and probably only) Blood+ story, and it's going to be just a one shot... I could write more, but for the sanity of my readers I think it'd be better just to leave this as is- I'm not so great at updating and keeping focused on one project for very long… so one shots suit me. :) Basically Saya's point of view, but it's in third person. Enjoy!

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"She is my reason for being"- Haji, episode 43

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It seems such a long time ago that he said that. Saya mused as stood and stretched. She'd expected that maybe someone would be waiting here for her awakening. Thirty years had passed like the blink of an eye inside her mind, a mind consumed with thoughts. She'd been thinking about the night Hagi had rescued her from Solomon, the night she'd found out about Diva being pregnant. They will look about my age now, Saya mused again. So much will have changed in the world of man; so much about her had changed too. She found clothes folded neatly next to the cocoon she had been subjected to by her only weakness.

As she dressed Saya realized she should not remember most of her past life, had she ever remembered it upon her awakening? It always came back to her but she seldom awoke with such a powerful sense of being, of life. It was almost a curse this time. If she had woken up without memory, she wouldn't mourn the loss of her father, of her brother, or of her favorite chevalier. She had never spent much time without him, probably less than fifteen years of her lifetime. It seemed odd, thinking about it now, that her life would go on without him. Would it ever be that simple, could she ever just live without him?

"I love you." That's what he'd said, she marveled at the words now. Over one hundred years of life with him and he waits to tell her right before he… Saya choked on the word died, unable to let it slip through her thoughts. Blocking out that painful part of her memories Saya realized she was starving, and light headed. She needed blood, she supposed, but didn't know how to go about getting blood. Without a chevalier to feed it to her, would she need to get it from humans? Oh, she thought stupidly, it seems I do forget some things. Transfusions, I must find David then, or Julia. She had no idea where to find either one of them, and felt a surge of helplessness standing on top of the big tomb looking across at the ocean. It appeared to be about noon, the sun was high in the sky, and Saya sat down to consider her options. She could go find Kai, probably at the same home she spent a year with him, Riku and their adoptive father George. Saya wanted to be ready for that, she did, but what would he be like? Thirty years would have aged him, and maybe she was not on his mind anymore.

Footsteps echoed and then stopped, Saya tensed and looked up from the spot on the ground she had been focused on. A beautiful girl stood there before her. She looked just like Diva, and therefore just like Saya. They stared at each other for a moment or two before the girl walked closer,

"Saya, my aunt?" A beautiful soprano voice came out; it was like a song. Saya nodded warily and stood.

"You are one of Diva's daughters." She just couldn't think of her as Riku's daughter, it was a painful thought. "Where is your sister?"

"She died almost 25 years ago. She got sick and it overcame her body like wildfire."

Saya suffered momentary shock form the news, she had expected to wake up to twin nieces, two girls who might look up to Saya and live as long as she. But there was only one.

"I'm very sorry to hear that." She said honestly, and they became light headed again. "Might you be able to take me to Julia? I think I need a transfusion as soon as possible."

"Sure." The girl answered serenely, "Would you like some help walking?"

Saya nodded and the girl came over to support some of Saya's weight, "My name is Irene, just so you know." She smiled and then glanced toward the entrance of Saya's tomb, "Don't forget the rose."

Startled Saya looked behind her as Irene walked toward the steps to the tomb and saw her pick up a rose. It was pink with a blue ribbon tied around the stem, and there was a sharp jab in her heart with the memory of a similar rose. Irene handed it to her, silently wrapped an arm around her back and assisted Saya on the long walk down the stairs to the road.

"Do you… do you know who left the rose?" Saya asked.

"I don't, I'm sorry. Kai had an idea, but he wouldn't tell me. It was many years ago I asked though, and to this day the rose has not died. I know not if it is the same rose, never dying, or if it gets replaced every day." Irene smiled.

Saya had to admit it Irene was not only beautiful, but her voice was angelic. She clung to the rose but refused to dwell on it. A gift someone had left her, nothing more, it couldn't be anything more. They got in the car and Saya gazed in a haze out of the car window as they drove along the coastline. Such beautiful and painful memories from the beaches, and there would only be more things to face now that she was home, awake, again.

Irene pulled into a driveway of a house Saya was not familiar with and as she exited the car the world began to spin; Irene noted that they were where Julia lived. After knocking lightly on the door and a familiar, yet different, face appeared before them.

"Saya." An older David said in a pleasant voice raspy with age, and then Saya swooned, the world darkened.

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Saya woke up staring at a ceiling and considered the irony that so soon after a thirty year sleep she would find herself back in bed. She sat up slowly to make sure her world wasn't spinning anymore and looked around. She was alone in a bedroom, strapped up in an IV and wearing different clothes. Feeling well enough to move she slowly slipped the IV out of her arm and got up to exit the room. Right when she got to the door it opened and Julia walked in. She was still tall and elegant regardless of being older, and smiled slightly upon seeing Saya walking around.

"A little impatient to get back to living your life?" she asked, moving around Saya to take care of the IV supplies. Saya looked at her with a blank expression on her face, then moved to stand next to Julia and grabbed her shoulder to get her attention.

"Julia, what do I need to know about this new world? What can you tell me about the people I know?" Saya's tone was a plea; she wanted someone to tell her the things she needed to know subjectively, someone who would not inflict too much emotion into the information. Julia sighed and sat on the end of the bed Saya had been laying on and patted the spot beside her.

"We have a few minutes, David finally dragged the others out of the house so they'd stop fussing." She smiled fondly at the wall and then turned to Saya. "You don't need to know much about the world, nothing huge has changed. Some things are newer, but nothing to concern yourself with. Irene says she told you about the loss of her sister… there was nothing I could do. I am sorry."

"I know you would do all you could do, I understand."

Julia smiled sadly and continued, "Irene is in fine health and very similar to you scientifically speaking; Kai raised her. Kai is alive still, he was very alone for a while but Irene consumed his time. David and I are married and our daughter turned 29 this year. The Red Shield disbanded after you went into your sleep and there have been no troubles since the death of Diva and her chevaliers." Julia paused and looked at the floor, then turned to Saya. "Is there anything else you wish to know?"

There never was much hope, Saya thought to herself. The lack of mention about her chevalier was all the answer she needed about that and tears returned to her eyes.

"I wonder, Kai, did he ever marry?" Saya had just meant to change the subject, but now she wondered about the woman who Kai lived with while she and… her chevalier… had separated themselves from everyone else.

Julia shot a curious look at Saya and smiled, "Thinking of anyone in particular? Mao went off to bigger better things, Monique couldn't wait forever either. Kai consumed himself with Irene. I'm sure you guessed that he named her."

Saya heard the front door open and close somewhere in the house and glanced over at Julia.

"I'm not sure how to go about this; I've never remember everything upon awakening before, at least not that I can recall."

Julia just smiled and walked out of the room and Saya didn't have much of a choice but to follow. She wondered how much David and Kai had changed, and Julia hadn't mentioned Louis, was he okay too? Saya started to a stop at the entry to the room Julia had just walked into. Kai, Irene, David, Louis, Lulu, Mao, and some people she's not familiar with are all sitting in the room, so many people. Kai smiled at her and stood up,

" 'Bout time you got up sis." His voice, like everyone else's, has changed, matured even more. Saya noted. Not sure how to respond all Saya did was smile timidly and glance around the room. She had missed him, hoped he was doing well.

"So much has changed, and yet is still the same."

Louis laughed and welcomed her home and everyone else took his cue to do the same. Kai came over and gave her a hug, along with Louis and Mao. Lulu walked up with a smile,

"I was so glad that Ms. Julia figured out how to keep me alive. It is just as pretty here as you said it was. I missed you while you slept." The little girl smiled up at her, physically unchanged from the passing of time.

"I am glad too." Saya smiled down at her. David walked over too and gave a small smile,

"The world would thank you if even half of them had any idea what you did. But I'll thank you, you did good work Saya."

She just looked up at the man who had kicked her into gear last time she had been awake and smiled. Kai was still standing with Saya and motioned for Irene to come over.

"Saya, I know Irene is the one who brought you here, but I think you could go for a more formal introduction." As Kai had started to talk most other rest of the people filtered into another room, one that Saya assumed was the kitchen based off the delicious smell coming from that direction.

Irene smiled serenely and Saya offered a smile in return.

"You look very much like your mother." Saya offered, admiring her crystalline blue eyes, "your voice is a tribute to her finest quality as well."

"Well," Irene smiled, "I suppose I look like you then hmmm? It's wonderful to finally meet you, someone whom everyone talks so highly about. I've heard stories about the person you are, and some of my youngest memories are of Kai taking my sister and me to where we met yesterday."

Saya started, "It's been a day already? What a waste of my limited time! Sleep will be upon me again before I know it I suppose."

Kai and Irene looked at each other, laughed and then looked back to Saya,

"You'll find," Kai noted, "That Julia's research has much improved. You might never lose another minute to sleep in your life if you're lucky. But never mind that right now, let's go eat, I know you have to be hungry."

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