Author's Chapter Notes:

Someone made a little comment that she'd like Sam's turn done, so this is what I came up with. Sam is sixteen in this and again there is nothing graphic in this chapter.

John asks Dean to talk to Sam and Sam has a problem that he wants to discuss with his brother......

A little laughter and a little angst too.

Birds, Bees and Brothers

Dean rolled over in his bed and stared at his brother's back. "Sam?"

There was a little sigh and a shift of position that signalled that his brother was awake.

"Can you think more quietly dude, the creaking noise from those wheels in your head, are making enough noise to waken the dead." He paused. "Hey, I'm a poet!"

Sam groaned and rolled over to face Dean. "Not a very good one, don't give up the day job." He stared over at his brother and watched as Dean rolled his eyes and pushed himself up.

"What's up Sam?"

"Nothing." He turned away again. "It's nothing, go back to sleep."

"Nope." Dean pushed himself up into a sitting position and inhaled half the room in a yawn that made his jaw crack. "Something is going on in Sammy land and until you spill, neither of us are gonna get any sleep. So….." He crossed the room and threw himself on his brother's bed, sitting up against the head board and nudging his brother over with his hip to get room to sit behind Sam's back. "….spill."

Sam gave a little embarrassed cough. "It's nothing Dean, really. I….I ….when you….oh just forget it. You'll only make fun of me. Just, get off my bed and go back to sleep."

"Wow, wait. A chance to embarrass my brother at…..", he looked at the little clock on the table between the beds, "……three in the morning. Can't pass that up." He lent over Sam's shoulder. "What is it?"

"It's nothing!"

He pushed back with his backside almost knocking Dean on the floor. Righting himself Dean pulled his brother onto his back and stared into his eyes, noting how Sam refused to met the look. "Sammy, don't throw the dog a bone and expect it not to chew, tell me or I'll bring it up at breakfast this morning and get the master inquisitor to torture it outta you."

Panic flitted in Sam's eyes. "Please don't do that…'s really nothing. I just…I wanted to know… know that I like Julie Masterton?"

"Ooooh, girl trouble….something that I am very skilled in young Jedi….tell me….has she refused to put out and you are looking for the knowledge of how to charm your way into her pants?" Dean tickled his brother and snorted as Sam hit him.

"Why'd I think that I could talk to you about this? You're an ass, do you know that? Just go back to bed." Sam tried to pull the covers over his head but his brother was sitting on them.

"Really? That's what this is about?" Dean could feel himself start to colour and was glad when Sam rolled over again, onto his side, away from him. He couldn't resist just one more prod though. "So you wanting me to ask Dad to give you the talk? About time too, I mean your sixteen already little brother and this is the first time you've shown any interest in a girl, I was beginning to worry that it was more than just your shirts that were in the closet."

Sam turned and punched him, hard, on the arm.

"Ow, stop it with the girly punches. You gotta admit, you spend more time hanging out with guys than girls….."

"……just 'cos you're a manwhore." Sam felt his brother tense.

"Fine Sammy. Enjoy getting your face slapped. G'night." There was a hurt tone in his voice that Sam hadn't meant to put there.

He grabbed Dean's arm as he stood to go back to his own bed.


He watched his brother trying to make sense of his ramble. "That's what condoms are for Sam, so that you don't make a mess of it" Dean sat back down but kept his back to his brother.

"I didn't mean that." Sam wasn't sure but he thought that his brother was grinning. "What?"

Dean turned. "It's her that's making the first move?" He raised an eyebrow.

Sam blushed and nodded.

"Kid, she's gonna eat you alive, but it'll be a fun way to die. I'll send flowers."

Sam punched him again and then watched as Dean manouvered himself back into a sitting position against the headboard. "So, what is it that you want to know? Need me to draw you a diagram of what goes where?"

The response to that was a huge huff. "Jerk! It not the logistics that I have the problem with. I know what you do, thank you very much." Sam squirmed up the bed to sit side by side with his brother. "I….well you know…..if you could just….." He didn't know how to start this conversation.

"You realise that you're gonna have to be more articulate than this when your talking to her or she'll be asleep before you even get started."

Sam huffed loudly again and went to get out the bed. "You know what, just forget it. I'm gonna tell her I don't wanna."

Catching his brother's arm Dean hauled him back beside him. "Oh no you don't. You're gonna have to do this sometime Sam." There was a little pause before he spoke again. "It's better if you do it with someone that you actually like."

"Do you think that there's a opening for a monk anywhere?" Sam groaned and closed his eyes, leaning back against his brother again.

Dean laughed a little half-laugh then he turned, eyes serious. "Are you sure that you really want to do this? Do you really like this girl?"

"Yes and yes. I'm scared that if I don't she'll lose interest and that if I do and screw it up she'll laugh at me. I don't want her to go find someone else….I really do like her."

Dean bit back the chuckle. "You really are a girl, d'you know that?"

Sam pushed him. "If you're not gonna help, go away."

"I'll help. Think of me as an enclopedia, just ask and I'll have the answer."

Sam rolled his eyes at that. "Dean, the sex oracle, aren't I lucky to have 'Mr. Can't Keep It In His Pants' for a brother."

"Again, thanks for that." Dean crossed his arms. "I get you're embarrass by all this but can you not diss my lifestyle choices just 'cos you can't make any of your own?"

"Sorry." They sat in silence for a moment before Sam spoke again. "What was it like? You know….the first time? Who'd you do it with? How old was she? Had she…you know….before? Where'd you do it? How old were you when you……you know?"

"Lots of questions there Sammy and the words you are looking for there is had sex….you know." Dean laughed and then grew quiet, obviously lost in his own thoughts. Finally he spoke. "Let's start with the easiest one first. It was the week before my fifteenth birthday."

"You did it at Bobby's!? And you were fourteen!?" Sam turned, shock on his face.

"Can you keep your voice down, Dad is right in the next room here Sammy." They listened and then relaxed as the sound of John's snoring filtered through from the room next door. Dean continued. "Not at Bobby's! Do you remember Brian Grant?"

"Yeah? Is this you coming outta the closet?" Sam grinned.

"Smart ass." Dean dug an elbow into his brother's ribs. "He was having a party that night, I snuck out to go."

"You snuck out on Bobby? Man you're braver…and smarter….than I give you credit for."

"Thanks. I think! Do you remember Brian's sister, Rebecca?"

A grin passed Sam's lips. "Yeah. Now she was….wait…..she was your first time?"

Dean shifted awkwardly on the bed. "Yeah."

"But she was like nineteen or twenty. How did you get her to do that?"

"Brian was two years above me in school, we were friends, she just thought that I was the same age as her brother." He paused. "We might've been a little drunk as well."


"So what?"

Sam let out a huff. "What was it like?"

Dean shrugged. "It was alright. I was drunk and she was hot and well….let's just say it wasn't the best sex that I've ever had, I doubt she though much of it either."

"Why would you say that?" Sam was worried, if Dean had screwed up his first time then there was probably no chance for him to get it right.

"I…." Dean's face flushed. "I can't believe that I'm telling you this. I didn't exactly last long. We got to the main event but it was all over kinda fast. And she was really nice to me afterwards, which, I've learnt since,…..not a good sign. If the girl can still talk, you ain't done it right. Then Brian walked in on us dressing and told her how old I was. She wasn't so nice after that, even hit me a coupla times."

"Why'd he do that, wasn't that kinda mean for someone who's supposed to be your friend?"

Dean smiled at that. "Dude, he almost walked in on me banging his sister on his parent's bed, you're the one that's suppose to be bright, why'd you think he told her? I'm lucky he never decked me. He never spoke to me again after that, can't say I blame him."

"Did you like her?"

"Sam, I'd only spoken to her three times before didn't really come in to it."

"So why'd you do it then?" Sam sounded confused and Dean couldn't keep the snort of amusement in this time.

"My sweet, naïve, little brother. Never change Sam." Sam squirmed and let out a muffled 'gerroffme' as Dean hugged him to him and kissed his head. "Lust Sam. She was flirting with me, we kissed and well…like I said, it kinda escalated quickly from there. I was a horny teenager and she offered it to me, who….apart from you….would say no to that?" A little smile crossed Dean's face as he thought back. "Damn but she was hot, wouldn't mind a crack at her now….if she's still hot that is…..wonder if they still live up that way? Might have to go check next time we're up visiting Bobby."

"Earth to Dean?"

Dean realised that he was still hugging his brother and quickly let go. "Sorry. What was I saying…oh yeah….so my first time, not so good."

"So what would you have done to make it better?" Sam had his research mode switched on.

"God. There's a question. Waited? Went slower? We kinda missed out the good part, went from 1st base all the way to the home run without even touching 2nd and 3rd, and they're really nice places to stop and rest a while."

"Why? What do you do there?"

Dean was embarrassed now, this conversation now more focused on him than he would have liked and he really wanted to tell Sam that finding these things out for yourself was half the fun but he knew that his boy scout brother would worry himself sick if he didn't have some kinda game plan to follow.

That's when the idea struck him.

"Ok, tomorrow's Saturday and Dad kind asked me to talk to you about this stuff anyway, so, I'll tell him that's what we're gonna do and then I've got some place that I want to show you. We'll get you loosened up a little so that it not such a big deal when you go to make your move."

"You are not taking me to a whore house!"

"No, and again, can you keep your voice down!" Dean listened again for noise from next door. "Dude, you'll enjoy it I promise and you'll keep your virgin status intact for your girl, well mostly."

With that Dean fended off anymore questions with a hand and then threw himself back into his own bed. "Now get some sleep, you've got a big night ahead of you!"

Sam groaned and lay back. At least the conversation had taken his mind off sex, now he would more worried what his brother had planned.


They'd tried to sneak in at one in the morning but with John for a father Dean had known that it would be almost all but impossible. They had though nearly made it, John was asleep on the couch, until Sam let the motel room door slip through his fingers and slam shut. Dean's face told him that his brother was going to make him pay for it later.

John took one look at both of them, sent Sam to their room and hauled his eldest down onto the couch by his collar. "You both stink of booze, smoke and cheap perfume. I want to know where you took him?"

Dean though about lying for all of one minute and then decided that he would be better just getting it over with. When he'd finished John exploded.

"I asked you to have a talk with him!" Sam flinched as something hit the wall on its living room side and cause the picture on his side to fall off.

He knew that he should go out and back up his brother, laugh off tonight as just Dean being Dean but he was scared that it would just be him getting added to the fight. John and him fought like cat and dog at the best of times and this…was definitely not the best of times.

He moved to behind the door trying to listen in, hoping that his father would just run out of steam, that Dean wouldn't smart mouth him back.

His hopes were dashed quickly.

"I did have a talk with him!" Dean's voice was raised but it still held that deferential tone that Sam just couldn't manage.

John's roar however was not deferential in the least. "No, what you did wasn't talking Dean, it was more like a damn show and tell!"

"You asked me to handle it so I handled it!" Dean was getting riled now.

"Its more what your let your brother handle that's worrying me!" Sam knew that tone and the face that probably went with it, John was one step from going nuclear, one push from losing it completely. Still the words brought a smile to Sam's face. He really did have the coolest big brother on the planet.

"I was with him the whole time!"

"That doesn't make me feel in the slightest bit better. How'd you get him in anyway? He's only sixteen for Christ sakes!" There was a pause and Sam not for the first time wished his brother would just lie to his Dad, the way he did with other people. He didn't.

"I dressed him up as a Feebie, he's tall and they never look at the face, only the ID…"

"Where did you get the suit?" John's growl was lower and more menacing.

"We kinda borrowed your suit." Dean was backing away, his voice fainter now.

"You what?!" Sam put his hand on the door knob ready to rescue his brother from tornado alley.

"It wasn't what you think!"

"So you didn't take your sixteen year old brother, dressed as an FBI agent no less, to a strip club and let some unknown female writhe on his lap…..WHILE HE WAS WEARING MY BLOODY SUIT?!"

"Well when you put it like that….."

"What other way is there to put it! I asked you to speak to him, to help me out by giving him the talk, not to go and let him stuff dollars in some stripper's G-string! You bought him a lap dance Dean, which you are paying me back for. And your getting my suit cleaned! What the hell were you thinking?"

Sam heard the couch in the living room creaked and knew that John had finally popped his pressure value and that the steam would clear pretty quickly now. "He's only sixteen Dean." Sam knew that his father was now sitting with his head resting in his hands.

"By his age I'd slept with more than a few women." Dean was obviously now sitting down next to his Dad, probably with a guilt ridden expression on his face.

"That's why I asked you to sit down and explain it to him Dean, so that he wouldn't…." John didn't finish the sentence.

Sam cringed at his father's words.

"So that he wouldn't what? Make the same mistakes that I did?" Dean stood and headed for the bedroom.

"Dean I didn't mean that." John didn't try to follow.

Stopping at the door Dean turned. "It's ok, I get it. One of your sons is a total screw up, an embarrassment to you and you don't want your other one to end up the same. If that was the case, you should have just spoken to him yourself. It's just sex Dad, I was just trying to show him that it isn't really the big deal that both you and him seem to think. Maybe that's what's wrong, maybe if you got out there and got some you wouldn't be on my case all the time about it. What is it, you jealous?" Not waiting for an answer Dean went into the bedroom and slammed his way into the bathroom.

John groaned and lay back on the couch. He'd talk to Dean tomorrow, once they'd all had a chance to calm down. His son was right after all, he had asked him to handle things. John mulled over the fact that hindsight was a wonderful thing.


Sam moved over to the door and called his brother's name. "Dean?"

"I'm fine Sammy, just go to bed."

"I would but I kinda need into where you are before I do."

The door opened and Dean just stood there. "You'd have fun tonight?"

"Yeah, it was cool. I mean how many other sixteen year olds have a brother that not only can get them into a strip joint but pays for a lap dance with a stripper for them?"

"Yeah, 'cos Dad is so proud of me." Dean smirked. "You being four hundred feet tall helps even if you did look kinda odd in Dad's suit. Now get in, get washed and get to bed. It's your big date with Julie tomorrow night….", he looked at his watch, "…..or should that be tonight."

Sam hesitated. "Maybe I shouldn't, Dad'll go mad if he finds out."

Grabbing him by the shoulders Dean glared at him. "Oh no. If you think I just went through getting my ass handed to me by Dad for you to chicken out now you are gravely mistaken little brother. I'll handle Dad you just worry about handling Julie!"

He smirked and Sam punched him, playfully this time, on the shoulder. "You're such a jerk."

Sam slipped round him into the bathroom.

"Better than being a bitch Sammy."


Dean was pacing. Dad was scouting a hunt and was due back any minute and Sam was late back from his big date. Worry filled him.

He had given Sam some alcohol, what if he'd been caught with it?

What if something had happened to him on the way home?

What if she'd said or done something to Sam and he'd just wandered off upset?

What if they'd been caught?

"I'm a dead man." He looked at his watch again. "Come on Sammy, where are you?"

His move up to fully fledged panic was cut short by his brother finally arriving back, throwing open the door and falling into the room. Dean didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Instead he settled for helping Sam up.

"You reek of sex and booze, get in there and get washed before Dad notices and I get killed for lying to him." He dragged his dazed looking brother into the bedroom and then sat him down on the toilet in the small bathroom that they shared. Kneeling down he pulled Sam's boots off and grinned up at him. "Well?"

Sam gave Dean the happiest, lopsided grin that his brother thought he'd every seen and then he lent down to him, speaking in a staged whisper that was just a little too loud. "We did it…….twice……and it was….it…..she was…"

"So the earth moved did it?" Dean laughed softly.

Sam nodded.

"You gonna see her again?" Dean hoped his brother remembered that they were moving on in a few weeks. That was the part to all this that Dean had learned to live with but Sam he knew was wired differently. He made friends, got attached. Perhaps that was another lesson that he'd have to teach his brother. Only later. Not now, not when things had obviously went so well for Sam.

"Oh yeah. Her parents are back in town tomorrow though so I don't know where we'd go …..," he whispered right into his brother's ear this time, "… have sex."

Dean grinned and pushed his brother back into an upright position. "I do. Dad and I are going on a hunt tomorrow, just a basic salt and burn but I can delay him on the way back if you want a little time here?"

Sam's eyes lit up and he hugged Dean to him. "You are the best big brother ever!"

"Yeah, until the next time I piss you off. Now get washed, brush your damn teeth, and try and get rid of the smell of beer." He stood and walked out, closing the door and leaned on it for a moment, listening as his brother started to whistle happily and the water went on.

Knocking the door gently he pushed himself off it, a smile playing on his own lips.

"That's my boy."

Chapter End Notes:

That really is all this time! Mary xx