It's Simple.

The sun was shining.

The birds were chirping.

The sake cup was slamming down on the table.

Life couldn't get any better than this.

Of course it could get worse.

Which is exactly what was about to happen.

The rule to remember is KISS.

Keep. It. Simple. Stupid.

People often tend to forget this however. The results... well you'll see.

A sigh of content and a burp of satisfaction covered up the explosion in the backgound.

But the mushroom cloud of smoke gave it away.

Of course this wasn't entirely out of the norm, this was a ninja village after all.

He would've been more concerned if there were no explosions.

Feeling quite good about his deliberation Minato figured he deserved to get completely smashed.

He did just that.

And since he was a ninja, no one would find out until it was far too late.

Oh he was good.

He was even the best.

I mean, what kind of Kage would he be if he wasn't the best.

Half way into his 8th bottle the genin team that went out earlier came back smoking and charred.

Minato thought for some reason they looked smoking hot.

It was decided, that jonin was giving him the eye, and he wouldn't stand for it from a guy like him.

He'd tell him what's what and who's who... as soon as the room stopped spinning of course.

It is at this point that we must realize how deadly a drunken kage-level ninja is.

To put it bluntly, it would be similar to putting a Polar bear on a nuclear device; completely unethical, unbalanced, and disturbingly deadly.

Furthermore this particular jonin had made comments about how hot Minato's wife was... someone was in for a world of pain..

No three-way was going to happen here.

And if one were going to happen it wouldn't be infront of the genin, Minato thought with a smile.

He stood up quickly, knocking things over and freezing.

He stared them down. And promptly projectile vomited all over them.

It was the right thing to do.

Plus it hit some of the paper work.

Grabbing another bottle of sake he stalked around his vomit covered desk.

"Clean dis up."

He was going to go and mingle with the people, after all isn't the Hokage there to see to the people's troubles?

First he'd stop by THE store and get more sake though. They didn't expect him to listen to them sober did they?

After getting his sake, and hitting on the daughter of the store owner(successfully he might add), he decided to make a stop home and visit his beautiful wife. A brilliant plan indeed!

On his way he stopped and waved at the people (also he threw up on them). Just a typical day in Konoha.
Little did he know, the villagers knew something he didn't.

But he was happy. He was Hokage! And he'd go home to his loving wife when ever the hell he wanted!

And he'd poke the fetus in the eye too!

Oh look his neighbour. Dear lord. When did she get so sexy?

Sending a wink her way he flashed his Kage winning smile slapped her ass on the way by and stumbled the rest of the way home.

Of course the problem with being drunk and navigating is that you tend to stumble and generally lose your sense of direction.

This was no different with Minato, he had managed to crash into the houses of five different people, two of which were inhabited at the time, and one of which was inhabited by a hot woman. He took his time leaving that last home.

Finally, after breaking down and asking for directions, he seemed to be on the right track home. He only wondered why peoples faces got paler the closer he got to his house. It's not like there was something going on there he wouldn't want to know about... right?

With a serious face, which wasn't so serious to onlookers (it reminded them of conspitation) he walked faster towards his destination. Something must be happening in his own house!


Who the hell does something in the house of the strongest man in the village?

He damn well was about to find out!

He flew through the closest window he saw, shattering it to bits since it was still closed.


Those were the last words the villagers heard from Minato besides crying and wailing that night.

He was a broken man... he had never felt like this before, shattered beyond repair. Just like his living room window.

What he wouldn't do for a giant demonic fox-thing to attack the village right now.

Well you can't always get what you want. He'd make do with his good old friend, Raito Sake.

It's Simple, the un-edited verison

Author's notes!

This is not a rip of the Verison MegaB posted of It's Simple, we created this together and decided to do an edited verison and a not-edited. The MegaB verison will hold British words and will have all the sexual fun taken out of it.

Ageant: "Include a hello. Insult their mothers." MegaB says "Always a hello." Ageant wants to say, "Then that should be a good start. Well we don't want to be rude." MegaB exclaimed "then say MegaB says 'Hi!' and TO GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE STORY!"

Ageant would like to say I'd ask you to include at some point, that anyone who thinks Rinoa is Ultimecia is retarded, and MegaB adds 'This story don't belong to us. It is the pos-ses-sion of Masa...Masapi....Masashi Kishishimoto.' Plus a nice mention of 'and we're not retarded' and once more he'd like to say "and you could include 'never skin a sheep from its butt' in there too, it's a valuable lesson for everyone"

Ageant promptly agree'd. "that goes without saying." MegaB complained a bit "I'm about to puke do you UNDERSTAND how that stuff smells?!" and then added "you probably don't" Lainana just had to comment "Pretty nasty I would think. Like cow poopies and dog breathe" and MegaB whimpered "but think of your poo left to rot for one hundred years"

After this point in our conversation MegaB weeped as we made fun of him and his sheep bathing.

Warning: This story may contain eye-ball popping information that you may, or may not want to read. But you will read it.

Yo momma so fat, james and the giant peach couldn't mow her down.