The idea for this fic is wholly my sister's, but as soon as she told me the idea, I had to write it. Do not be alarmed, then, if you see a similar fic posted soon (by TubularFox), because she's going to write her own version as well. She's a genius. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek!

"Would you like more tea, Mr. Spock?"

"Yes, please. Scone?"

"Of course."

"Oh brother." Bones crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame of his hotel room, currently occupied by two children who used to be his superior officers. Jim had somehow contrived to have a tea party, complete with miniature table, chairs, and dolls. Spock had consented, calling it eminently logical, and had contributed his tea set. Where it had all come from… Now there was a mystery.

"I think it's cute," said Uhura, bringing the boys a tray of cookies. She and Chapel had been cooking all morning for their game, seemingly not at all worried by the startling transformation. "We should enjoy it while it lasts. After all, Doctor Stevens said the ray would wear off in a few hours. It's just a bit of fun." She set the peanut butter goodies down before Jim.

"Would you like a cookie, Mrs. Bones?" asked Kirk, attempting to give one to a Raggedy-Ann type doll in a nurse's hat.

"Leave me out of it!" grumbled the doctor, turning away. Uhura's laughter followed him down the hall.


"Mr. Spock, this teapot is simply delightful," said Kirk, doing his best to sound cultured. At six years old, he was being more ridiculous than he could ever know, but that didn't trouble him at the moment. He adjusted again the top hat that kept falling over his eyes.

"Thank you. It was a gift from my mother," said the nine-year-old, willing to enjoy the occasion. He smoothed down the skirt Kirk had fetched for him to wear, still not quite understanding why he was the girl. "The china is of the highest quality."

"I see," said Kirk, taking and examining the pot before pouring himself another cup of iced tea. Or trying to. The teapot was empty. "It seems we must make another pot, Mr. Spock."

"Indeed. Shall we proceed?" He stood up and took the pot from Kirk as the boy threaded their arms together. As a stately couple, or as stately as a pair of young boys could get, they left the room in search of more liquid, leaving it unguarded behind them.


"It's just a form of recreation on this planet," said embassy doctor Francis Stevens. "Lord Veelin was of the opinion that the captain knew of the ray before he used it. There aren't any side effects and the whole thing will be fine by morning."

"Well, good," said Bones, shaking his head. "Then I guess I can get back to some real work. Sulu and Chekov, you can look after them." He headed for the door. "Just let me know if anything bad happens. Like it inevitably will."

"Yes sir," said Sulu, smiling amusedly. "You can count on us." He poked Pavel. "Let's get pictures. For blackmail."

"Zat iz not wery nice," replied the boy, looking more like he wanted to play babysitter. Sulu sighed.

"Right. Well, let's go find 'em. Probably shouldn't let them wander around alone. Not when one of 'em's the captain."


"I have obtained a suitable amount of tea," said Spock, placing the top gently back onto the teapot. He had filled it from a plastic pitcher of iced tea on Uhura's table. She hadn't been around to do it herself. "We should return. I believe that Bunny and Mr. Wobbles will wonder where we are."

"You're right," said Jim, pushing his top hat up again. "Let's go." He took Spock's arm again and they set off down the hall. After a moment, Jim frowned. "You walk too fast. You need to walk like a lady."

"But I am not a lady," Spock said, a slight crease forming between his eyebrows.

"You're wearing a skirt," pointed out Jim.

"You asked me to," said Spock, very confused.

"Because you're the lady."

Luckily, before the discussion could dissolve into a most uncultured fight, the two reached Bones' room and found the door ajar. Carefully, they peeked in.

"Oh no!" shrieked Jim, tearing away from his very fashionable companion. "Ms. Lalala!" She was lying prone on the carpet, arms akimbo. Her blank eyes stared up at the ceiling, seeming to be made of glass.

Her head was separated from her body and had rolled several feet away.

She had been murdered.

DUN dun DUNNNNN.... Reviews make me happy.