Yeah, I don't know what's up with this story. XDD

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek!

Doctor McCoy usually believed himself a fairly reasonable person. He put up with the pointless maladies of his four-hundred and thirty coworkers, and the serious ones besides. He gave the massively intelligent (but still somehow harebrained) captain advice when he needed it. He listened to Spock, and at least half the time he was even civil! He didn't even complain about using the transporters. That much.

But this was ridiculous.

"For the last time, I did not murder your doll. Jim, I hope to God you remember this, because you are going to owe me. A lot." Bones leaned across the table with a menacing look on his face, but Kirk didn't back down.

"Where were you on the night of the fifteenth?!" The six-year-old pounded his fist on the table. "Answer the question before I have to get mean with you…"

"Jim, the fifteenth was four days ago. That doesn't have anything to do with anything!"

Kirk considered this. "So you've seen through my ploy. In that case, we'll move on to the real reason you're here." He slapped a glossy photo of Ms. Lalala onto the table before the doctor. "Do you know her?"

Bones pretended to study the photo, then sarcastically raised an eyebrow. "Yeah."

"She's dead now!"

"I know that! I was at the scene of the crime!"

"Oh were you?" Kirk got a maniacal glint in his eye and stood up on his chair. "Spock! Get ready to take notes!"

The Vulcan sadly put down the little gray cat he'd found and took out a padd and stylus.

"I'm ready, Captain."

"You say you were at the murder scene. Are you confessing to killing Ms. Lalala?"


"How well did you know her?"

"I never met her. She's a doll!" Bones rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation.

"How well do you know the scene?"

"…It's my hotel room."

"Oh is it?"

"We knew that already," pointed out Spock, looking up from where he was furiously scribbling notes.

"Right." Jim shook his head. "Well, there's still one very important question I want to ask. Why didn't you come to my tea party?"

Bones opened his mouth, but paused. "Huh?"

"I had a chair for you! And I even made you an invitation." Jim pouted.

"Er, yes, you did." Bones scratched his head. "Well, Jim… I had work to do."

"Work? All you ever do is work. We never have fun anymore." Jim sat down discontentedly. "What happened to us?!"

"Jeez. If it meant so much to you, you should've… I would've…" Bones put his face in his hands. "Do you want me to come after you find the murderer?"


"I do not believe that the doctor is our man," said Spock, putting his stylus behind one pointed ear. The little cat had wandered off, and, between that and the skirt, he was a little annoyed. "Are you done?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Let's move on, then. I believe that Nurse Chapel and Lt. Uhura are the next most likely suspects. They had access to the room and prior acquaintance with the tea party crowd."

"All right, then," said Kirk, regaining some of his vigor. "Let's go find them, then." He took Spock's hand and led the way off down the corridor in search of the womenfolk. As he told Spock, they would be easy to find if they had a bloodhound. Women always wore sultry perfume.

When Spock pointed out that they didn't have a bloodhound, Kirk got a terrifying speculative look on his face. He glanced sideways at Spock.

Spock sighed.

Yep. Reviews? :3