This idea was floating around in my head for weeks before I finally got around to writing it. I've never wrote a one shot before, but I really like this one. If you've ever heard the song, Live Our Dream by Tyler Toliver, you'll see where I got the story line from. It's a response to Carrie Underwoods, Just A Dream. If you haven't heard Tylers song, Youtube! It's an amazing song. Very sad, but amazing none the less. This story doesn't follow that completely, but close enough to count.
By the way, I don't own the songs or Twilights Characters (=
Live Our Dream .. Edward ..
I was standing in front of the mirror in the room I shared with my girlfriend, staring at myself. How could I have let her down so much? She counted on me to be here for her, and I was leaving. She was my world, my heart, and my soul. She was everything I needed and wanted so much. But this was my job. More like my duty. I knew when I signed up for this, one day I was going to have to leave her. Leave her here while I went off and fought for my country.
"Edward, baby?" Her voice raised up the stairs and I sighed. I hadn't told her yet. I was set to leave in a week, and I hadn't told her. I only got the letter three days ago, and I had been withholding it for as long as I could. I couldn't hurt her.
"I'm coming Bella." I straightened my tie and took one last look at myself, then opened the bedroom door and headed for the stairs. As I reached the railing, I looked down to see Bella standing against the railing at the bottom, her arms gracefully crossed over her chest and a smile on her face. My heart leapt at just the sight of her. Just the same as the first day I laid eyes on her.
Flashback: Three years ago.
"So what time is this thing tonight?" I turned to look at my sister as she laid out the pants and shirt she wanted me to wear.
"Seven, but Carlisle wants us to meet us with a friend of his for dinner at five-thirty." She walked back to my closet and trailed her fingers over the many different colored ties I had until her fingers rested on one that would match. She pulled out my dark green one and laid it down. "We should be leaving here in a half hour or so, so get ready." She smiled and walked to the door.
"You know Alice, I'm seventeen, I'm very capable of dressing myself." I looked over and smiled as I stood up and walked to the clothes on the bed.
She smiled back and shrugged. "I know. But you know it would have taken you longer to pick the right outfit. And Carlisle wants you to impress tonight." She smiled gently once more before disappearing out the door.
Later that night I was seated at a round table in the back of the restaurant. The Chief was running late because some work held him up, and he called to say he'd only be a couple more minutes. Alice was chatting animatedly with her current boyfriend Jasper. They had met just last year, and had been inseparable ever since. I turned to look to the left of me and Emmett was staring across the room at some girl. Nothing new. This was his usual behavior. Spot a hot girl, take her out once, then never call her again. It got old; to everyone but him.
Then suddenly, I saw her. She was gorgeous. My legs fought with me, trying to get me to stand up and go talk to her, but I had never ever done that before; seen someone across a room and had the incredible urge to get up and meet them. But she was different. There was something new and exciting about her. She didn't look familiar, and I was almost positive I had never seen her around.
"Edward? You OK?" Alice was nudging my shoulder and I shook my head.
"I'm fine." I took my eyes off of the girl long enough to look at my mother. "Please excuse me."
I stood up and pushed my chair back. Alice grabbed my wrist, trying to tell me something but I wasn't listening. As I walked by my mother and father, Esme stood and grabbed my arm. "Edward, The Chief will be here soon, you need to sit back down."
I nodded, but didn't look at her. Instead, I kept my eyes on the beautiful woman across the room. "I'll be right back, I promise."
I wriggled from her grasp and walked from the table. Weaving in and out of the chairs around the room. When I finally reached her, she turned to walk away, but I lightly touched her shoulder. She whirled around and looked at me, and once her deep brown eyes met mine, my heart skipped a beat. "Um, hi. Can I help you?" She looked over at my hand still resting on her shoulder, then back at my face. Her voice was soft and just as beautiful as she was
"Um, hello. My name's Edward." I smiled at her and she gave me a stunning smile back.
"I'm Bella." She stuck her hand out for me to shake and I hesitated. Not because I didn't want to touch her, but because the smile she just gave him sent my mind in a hundred different directions. No one had ever done that to me.
"Nice to meet you Bella." I shook her hand and smiled back at her. Her eyes widened just a tad and for just a second, I wondered if me smiling at her had the same affect on her head, as hers did on mine. I was trying to think of something to say to this girl before she thought I was just some weirdo and walked away from me. "So um, Bella. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl." Yeah, that was lame.
She let out a small giggle and looked away for a second. I briefly saw the most gorgeous shade of pink streak her cheeks and I smiled again, completely unable to help it. She finally looked up and met my eyes again, "Thank you Edward."
I quickly realized I was just going to make a fool of myself standing her any longer. She probably had a boyfriend. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind as I was sitting in my chair, staring at her. God knows she was pretty enough to be with someone. And that smile, who could resist that. Yeah, she had to have a boyfriend and I was just going to get in further trouble if I stood here any longer. "I'm sure you've heard that before. Sorry, I'm probably keeping you from something, or someone. I'll go now." I gave her one last smile and turned to leave.
"Actually," Her voice rang through my ears again and I stopped, then spun around to face her again. "You're not keeping me from anything. My dad isn't here yet. That's who I'm meeting here." Her smile was reassuring and I could hear in her voice she was letting me know that she wasn't meeting a guy, or a date. Just her father.
"OK." I stepped closer to her, completely unintentionally. My movement shocked me. My head wasn't telling me to step closer; my feet just did it. Like she was a magnet of sorts, pulling me closer and dragging me further.
She continued to smile at me and I looked back at my family for a small second. Alice was beaming. The smile on her face could not get any bigger. While Emmett was still staring at some girl, and Carlisle and Esme were trying to wave me back over. Esme was smiling, but knew tonight was important, and I shouldn't be using it to flirt with girls.
Carlisle was working on a deal with the Chief Swan. They were both major people in this town and worked closely with each other a lot.
"Bella, I'm really sorry, but um, I think I have to go." I looked back at her and saw her frown and looked down.
"OK. Well it was nice meeting you." She smiled again and I nodded.
"You too." Before I could let her walk away, I had to do something to make this meeting worth while. Had to do something that ensured I saw her again. "Can we do this again sometime? Only maybe less awkward." I grinned at her and she nodded.
"I'd love that." She pulled a paper from her purse and dug for something else, but seemed to be coming up short of something. She looked over at the bar and called a woman over. "Rosalie, do you happen to have a pen on you?" The woman smiled and reached in her purse for the pen, handing it to Bella. She looked at me for a second and raised her eyebrows at me. Clearly sizing me up, and wondering if I was good enough for her friend.
Bella scribbled down her number and handed it to me. I gave her and Rosalie a quick goodbye and walked back to the table. I hated walking away from her without having had a proper conversation, but it's not like I could just walk away from Carlisle tonight. I'd call her tomorrow. Or was that too soon? Maybe I should wait a couple days. Maybe, but what if she wanted me to call. As I was in the middle of my internal debate with myself, I heard a chair squeak across the wood floor. I looked up to see Chief Swan sitting down next to Carlisle. "Sorry I'm late. Things at the office are getting more hectic nowadays." He smiled and reached a hand out to me. "Nice to see you again Edward." He did the same with Jasper and Emmett. He took a look over his shoulder and stood back up, "I hope you guys don't mind, but I invited my daughter and her cousin to join us. She just moved here and I'd like her to meet some new people."
"That's no problem Charlie. We'd love to meet her." He gave us all a look, telling us to be cordial and invite this girl and her cousin to be friends with us. I nodded, but the whole time my mind was on Bella. I was still wondering when the aproppriate time to call her would be when I looked up to see the very angel plaguing my mind standing in front of me.
"Carlisle, Esme. This is my daughter Isabella. And this is her cousin Rosalie." He motioned her over to my mom and dad and they all shook hands. Then he turned her to me, Alice and Emmett. I stood up immediately and Bellas eyes rested on me. She smiled and giggled a little.
"Nice to see you again Edward."
Our parents were pleased we had already met and from that moment on, we were attached at the hip. We started dating the following day, and moved in with each other a year later. She was my world, and there was no other way to explain it. I'd give her anything she wanted without hesitation. God knows she deserved it.
"Edward? Are you ready?" I focused my eyes to see her standing there. I was still at the top of the stairs and she had walked up them and stood next to me.
"Yeah. You?" I smiled and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to me. I just didn't feel complete without her there. Which is why I had no clue how I was going to go off and be somewhere she wasn't. How was this going to work?
"I've been ready. Just waiting for you." She stretched up on her tip toes and pressed her soft lips to mine. I eagerly kissed her back, needing the feel of her around me even more.
She finally pulled away and gasped for air. I lowered my eyes, for fear that she'd see right through me. I had been acting this way since I read the letter, but I couldn't help it. "Edward, is something wrong? You've been acting awfully strange for the last couple days. Is there something you need to tell me?" She always saw right through me, and I knew she was aware something was going on. She just hadn't figured it out yet.
"Yes Bella." I looked back up at her and I felt the tears start. I tried my best to stop them, but they came anyway. "I have to tell you something really important and I know I'm gonna be sorry, but please forgive me."
"What's going on Edward?" She reached up and wiped my tears, and cupped my cheek in her warm palm. "I need to know what's wrong."
I nodded and took a deep breath. "I got the letter Bella." I met her eyes and watched them widen in immediate realisation. She was dreading this. She shook her head and bit her lip as her tears starting flowing. I quickly wiped them away and held her close to me. She started sobbing, so I picked her up and carried her to our room, setting her on the bed and pulled her to my chest. I stood in front of her and she had her arms wrapped around my waist. I just held her for what seemed like an hour as she cried her eyes out. The party we were supposed to be going to meant very little to me right now. I needed to be here, alone with Bella, while I had the chance.
"Edward, please don't go." She looked up at me and I saw the red in her eyes and the streaks down her cheek. "I love you." Her voice was very weak and shaky. It broke a couple times and the tears never stopped.
"I love you too Bella." I grabbed her face in my hands on got down on my knees in front of her. "You'll never know how much I love you. This is what I have to do, and as much as I wish I could just stay here with you, I have to go. We both knew this was coming, and I hate it. But It's what I wanted."
She shook her head. "No. I'm gonna miss you too much Edward." She lowered her head and I heard her sniffle. "What am I going to do without you?"
I ran my hands up her neck and into her hair. I pulled her forward and kissed her forehead. "You're not going to be without me. I'm going to be right here." I pressed my hand to her chest, right over her heart and kissed her hand. "My heart will always be right here with you. You know that."
"I know that, but I hate this. I don't want you anywhere but here. All of you, not just your heart. I want you." She reached for my other hand and brought them both to her lap. "I need you."
I crawled up in bed with her and held her close. Eventually we shed our dress clothes and got into something more comfortable. Our phones went off over and over, but I didn't move. She didn't either. She cried half the night and I felt terrible. Beyond terrible. I knew there was no getting out of this and that's what I hated most. I thought I had built myself up for this, prepared myself for the news, but nothing could have prepared me for this. We finally fell asleep sometime real early the next morning and didn't wake until almost noon. I woke first and looked down at Bella. I traced my fingers lightly over her eyelids. The rims around her eyes were still red. Then I ghosted my finger tips to her cheeks that were still a pale pink. She's be just as upset this morning, and I didn't know how to prevent that. I silently crawled out of bed and headed to the kitchen, deciding to make her breakfast in bed.
I made her favorite, while trying to be as quiet as I could. As I took the stairs one at a time, slowly, I felt the tray shaking beneath my hands. this was my worst fear coming true. I had to keep telling myself this is what I wanted, I was completely committed to joining the Army as soon as I turned eighteen. But when I met Bella, I started to second guess things. We had only been together for three weeks when she found out I was wanting to join, and since then she stuck by my side, telling me she supported it, and if it's what I wanted, it's what she wanted for me. But the day I enlisted, she broke down. She told me while she supported it, she also worried and didn't want me gone. It was too late to take it back, so we decided that when the time came we'd suck it up and get it over with, hopefully things would be ending soon anyway and I would come home and spend the rest of my life with her.
I opened the door to our room and saw her sitting up in the middle of the bed. She was twisting and turning her fingers in the sheets and her eyes shot up as the door creaked. "Hi." Her voice was raspy and broken.
"Goodmorning love." I walked over to her and set the tray in front of her, grabbing her face gently and kissing her with an urgency. I was down to six days and I needed to take full advantage of Bellas presence.
We ate breakfast together, then just lounged around the house for the rest of the day. Rosalie called to inquire why we hadn't showed up last night and to give us the good news. Her and Emmett were finally moving in together. They had known each other since me and Bella had, but Emmett hadn't jumped at her right away like he would have any other girl. Rosalie was the girl Emmett was staring at all night and when they met, his lips wouldn't move. He mad an idiot of himself that night, but two months later, when he finally got the nerve to ask her out, she agreed. When Emmett freaked out after the third date and didn't call her, Rose came by the house and dragged him out to the front yard saying she wasn't some three date chick that you lead on then dump. From that moment on, Emmett was a fool for her. He did whatever it took to make her happy and now they were finally moving in together.
I envied them. They didn't have to worry about each other like me and Bella would. Rose knew where Emmett was all day, knew when he was coming home, and how to get ahold of him. Bella wouldn't have that luxury. Neither would I. I didn't know how often I'd get to talk to Bella or see her face, even over a computer screen. I didn't know when I'd be returning home, or if I even would be.
"I'm happy for them." She looked at me and her face was red from more tears.
"Me too. Rose is good for Emmett." I kissed her lips and she smiled a little.
"He's good for her too. He calms her down a little." A little giggled emanated from her and I smiled. "Edward, I know you don't want to talk about this, but I miss you already." She whispered the last part and I immediately pulled her closer to me and she crawled onto my lap and laid against my chest.
"I miss you too love." I didn't wanna leave her and I was literally counting the hours I got to spend with her. This was going to be hell.
Six very short days later Bella and I were standing at the airport. I was dressed in my camouflage pants and black shirt, with my jacket drapped over a chair, and had my ticket in my hand. She was crying and nothing I said or did could stop it. I was holding on best I could, but I knew the minute I stepped foot on that plane, I'd break down, just like she was. This was killing me and I didn't know what to say to even attempt to make this better.
"Edward, I love you." She looked up at me and grabbed my face in her hands. "Please, promise me you'll be safe and you'll come home to me." Her eyes were pleading with me and I nodded. "Promise you'll do whatever you can to come home. In one piece please." Her tears came faster as she said that and I quietly soothed her.
"I won't make a promise I know I can't keep, but I'll do my best to make it home to you." I leaned down to kiss her and she shook her head.
"No. Promise me!" She was urgent and needed to hear me promise.
"Bella, I'm scared. What if I don't come home?"
She hit my chest and her face turned angry. "Don't you ever say that Edward Cullen! You're going to come home to me, and you'd better promise that. Don't you dare say you're going to get hurt or something bad is going to happen to you, because it won't. You have to believe that. If I have to, so do you Edward. Now promise me."
"I promise. I promise you Bella, I'm coming home. I promise I'll think about you every night, and every day. Love, when I leave you, you know that I love you. You'll be on my mind wherever I go. We were meant to be." With that, I knelt down on one knee, took her left hand in mine and pulled a ring from my pocket and showed it to her. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened. She gasped and then smiled at me. "I love you more than anything Isabella Swan, and I need you. Need you to be my wife and stick this through with me. I need you to be here when I come home." I kissed her hand as fresh tears started in both our eyes. "Marry me." My voice was very low and quiet, but she heard it.
"Yes Edward. Yes!" She pulled me up and jumped into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. I held her to me to keep us both from falling and heard a round of applause coming from around us. I looked around at all the men I was about to board a plane with and saw them smiling at us while saying goodbye to their loved ones too.
I smiled, then closed my eyes and just held her. "I love you."
"I love you too Edward." She pulled away and lowered her legs, standing herself back up. "This was our dream." She looked down at the ring as I slipped it on her finger.
"It still is." I brought her lips to mine and kissed her with passion and energy that I thought I didn't have left after all this crying. I suddenly remember the first time I told Bella I loved her.
Flashback: New years; two and a half years ago.
"Bella, wanna go for a walk with me?" I looked over at her as I parked the car. I squeezed her hand, which was currently resting on my leg; her fingers intertwined with mine. She nodded and I jumped out of the car and ran to her side, opening the door for her. I grabbed her hand, helped her from the passenger seat and shut the door. I led her down the narrow pathway to the water and when we got to the dock, she leaned up against it and I stood behind her. My arms wrapped around her and my chin on her shoulder. She raised a hand to rest on my cheek and turned her head slightly to kiss my other cheek. I heard her sigh as she looked back out to the water.
"Edward, this is beautiful." She smiled and I turned my head to kiss her neck.
"Not with you here in comparison." I smiled against her neck and felt her giggle.
"You're too perfect. You know that." She turned in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I love you." My heart leapt and my eyes shot wide open at what I just said.
"What?!" Her reaction was shocked and I didn't know whether I should take it back, or say it again.
"I, uh, I. . ." I looked away and took a deep breath. I had known I was ready to say it, but didn't think it would come out quite like this.
"I love you too." Her hands ran up my neck and into my hair and as I turned around to make sure I heard her right, she pulled my lips to hers and kissed me with what seemed like every bit of passion in her body. Her fingers gripped in my hair and her tongue traced my bottom lip, begging for entrance.
We made out for a couple minutes before pulled away for air. "You, really? Are you sure?" I looked down at her and she smiled.
"You think I'd kid about something like that. I love you. I've been wanting to say it for a little while now, but I couldn't find the right time." Her smile started to fade and I wondered what made her upset all of a sudden. "Did you mean it? Or were you just about to take it back?" Her hands loosed from my hair and dropped to rest on my shoulders.
I quickly shook my head. "No! No. I don't take it back. I love you. I love you so much, and I would never take that back. You're my life now Isabella."
I kissed her again and once again her hands ran up my neck, sending chills down my spine.
"Are you sure?" She looked up at me and smiled. "We've only been together two months."
I nodded, "I know. And this is what I want. You're what I want. I've never been more sure of anything."
And truth was, I hadn't.
"Hey, Edward." I snapped out of my day dream and turned to see Tony standing behind me. "I'm so sorry to interrupt, but we're about to board."
I nodded and he smiled at both me, then Bella, then walked away. I turned back to Bella and my face dropped. She squeezed my arms and pulled me in for another hug. Possibly our last one.
"I love you, so much Edward. And I can't wait for you to come home." She stretched up and kissed me again.
"I love you too, more than you know. When I get home, we'll get married OK? Right away. Promise?" I looked down at her and placed kiss after kiss across her face and neck.
"I promise. As long as you keep yours, I'll keep mine." She tightened her grip around me and I felt a tear hit my arm. It was hers.
"Stop crying. I don't want to remember a crying Bella. I wanna remember a very gorgeous, very incredibly happy Bella. I need that. And you need to be happy. Stay happy and live your life. And I know you don't want to hear this, but while we're making promises, I need you to promise me one more thing." I cupped her face in my hand and she nodded. She didn't have a clue what she was fixing to promise me. "Promise that if anything happens to me," She started to say something, but I rested my finger against her lips. "Listen to me Bella. If anything happens to me while I'm gone, you're going to live your life and move on. You're going to be OK. Promise me Bella! You'll remain yourself and live the life you would have lived otherwise, before me. You'll make me proud and laugh and smile and be alright. Promise?"
She shook her head. "I won't be without you, so don't say stuff like that! You're going to come home to me, and we're going to live our dream. Not just mine, ours!" She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down. "Come home to me Edward. I love you."
Final boarding call for flight three seventy-four; To California Army Base. Final boarding call.
This was it. I was getting on a plane to California, where I would get my final order and head off overseas. I closed my eyes and felt Bellas arms tighten around me. After just a couple seconds, she pulled away. "You have to go Edward. Don't miss your plane." She gently pushed me away, but looked like that was the last thing she wanted to do. I knew it was.
I reached over to the chair and grabbed my jacket, throwing it on. She helped me button it up and straightened everything out, brushing her hands down it making sure I looked good. "I'll see you soon. And I'll write and call whenever I get a chance. I promise." I smiled, and it was actually genuine. I still felt horrible about leaving her, but I knew I'd get to call and I'd get her letters and that's what would keep me going.
"OK. I'll be waiting." She smiled back at me and I saw her open her mouth to say something, and I stopped her before she could say it.
"Don't say goodbye Bella. This isn't goodbye. I love you, and I'll see you soon." She nodded and I leaned down, grasping her shoulders and giving her one last kiss before closing my eyes and turning around. I grabbed my bag and started walking to the door with everyone else. I stood and waited in line, feeling her eyes bore into my back. I was debating whether or not to turn around, and as I handed my ticket to the lady at the counter, she smiled, and said she hoped we came home soon. I stopped for a moment and turned my head around, locking eyes with my Bella one last time before disappearing down the hallway.
Six months, one week, and four days since I last saw Bella. Every time I closed my eyes, she was there. I even thought I saw her a couple times laying next to me at night. Though sometimes I wished she really was, I'd never let her come here. It was awful. Dirty and dangerous. The last time I got a good nights sleep was the night before I was flown here. Things were getting a little better, but not good by no means. We hadn't lost a lot of men, but we were getting daily news about others Infantries losing their men. If something happened to me, I sure hoped to god I went to heaven, because I was already in hell, and I hated it.
I missed Bella. I needed to feel her and be able to touch her. I needed to smell her intoxicating scent and feel her soft lips on mine. I put my hand over my jacket pocket where her picture lay as I jumped up and grabbed my gun, running outside. All I could hear was yelling, and a couple other men ran out so I joined. I took cover in whatever I could and once I heard Toms orders, I stood and fired. I had gotten used to firing a gun by now, but nothing prepared you for what was on the other end of that gun. Of course, these were people, but in order to keep myself sane and as normal as I could out here, I had to keep reminding myself, I wasn't just shooting at them, they were shooting at me too. And in order to keep myself, and these other men alive and able to return to their loved ones, and me to my Bella, and to keep my promise to her, I had to defend my unit. So that's what I did.
After a couple minutes we were called down, and I took the opportunity to move. The shelter I was behind wasn't very sturdy and it could fall at anytime, so I ducked around a corner and took shelter with James. He had become a really good friend out here. He also had a fiancee at home that he was planning to wed as soon as he got home. We talked about our girls a lot, and I felt like I knew Victoria, as well as he knew Bella. They were what kept us going and it's all we could think about. Going home to them. We agreed as soon as we both got home, we'd get together and introduce them. They had talked over the phone tons of times, but never met in person. I thought it was a good idea to give Bella someone to talk to that could relate to her better, in the sense that her fiancee was off at war.
"Edward, I have a bad feeling about this one." James turned to look at me as I hit the ground next to him.
"Don't talk like that." I made sure I had enough bullets to keep going, then threw my gun to my side and let it hang by the strap. "Nothing's going to happen. So you talked to Victoria this morning?"
He nodded and I saw him swallow hard. "She's doing great. She's seven months pregnant now. God I hope I'm there for the birth." He rested his head back against the rock and I nodded. "Talk to Bella lately?"
"Yeah. Late last night. She's doing good. Still having a hard time, but she's getting through it. She has my sister and her cousin. My brother helps too." I scooted closer so I didn't have to speak so loud.
"That's good. You're sister's the one that just got engaged right?" He looked at me and I smiled.
"Yeah. They're waiting for me to get home to do any planning. I kinda feel bad."
"Don't feel bad. You're gonna go home soon." He closed his eyes again and I nodded.
"You are too. We all are." I rested my hand on his shoulder and he nodded slowly. That's when I saw the blood. James had blood coming from his side and it was seeping down his jacket. "James! You're hit, why didn't you say anything?!" I quickly scurried in front of him and grabbed his shoulder with one hand, while slinging my gun off with the other. I removed his jacket and tried to find the source of the blood as fast as I could. I didn't know what to do, so I thought back to my father; Carlisle was a surgeon and I knew I had to know something from his past lectures. I quickly found the wound and wrapped his jacket around his chest, tightly, trying to cut off whatever blood flow I could for the time being.
"Help! Help! Man down! Please help!" I turned around, screaming over my shoulder, but I couldn't hear anything, only then did I head gun shots being fired, and I knew we'd been given the command to start firing again. I quickly took shelter back next to James and held him up, trying to keep him awake. "James! Buddy, you have to stay with me! Stay awake! Think of Victoria, and the baby James!" I looked around and tried to find some easy was back to our camp, but all I could see was dust flying everywhere. I had to get us out of here. I looked back over and unhooked James' gun from his shoulder, then through it over my shoulder, then picked up my own. I took a quick look around again, figuring out which way I needed to go before lifting James and hoisting him over my other shoulder. I slowly stood and took off running, ducking behind whatever I could. I finally had our camp in site and bolted forward, but before I could reach it I heard a scream then a loud sound in my right ear and my feet flew out from under me. I felt a sharp pain stabbing in my back and I fell to the ground.
In that quick minute before my eyes closed I saw Bella. Our first date, our first kiss, the first time I told her I was in love with her, the first time I woke up next to her, the first time we made love, the first fight, her smile, her deep eyes, her laugh. I saw me and her sitting together on the sofa the night before I left. And finally, I saw her standing in the airport with the ring I gave her on her finger, smiling at me before I turned away from her. Then everything went blank. My mind didn't register anything else and my eyes finally closed. "I love you Bella."
I love you and I miss you more than anything. I wish, with all my heart, I was at home with you; curled up in our bed and holding your body against mine. Kissing your face and whispering how much I need you in your ear. You're my life, don't forget that. Please don't ever forget that. I can't wait to go home to you and scoop you up in my arms. Hold you for the rest of my life. The rest of our lives.
Love, when I leave you, you know that I love you. You'll be on my mind where ever I go. We were meant to be. I won't make a promise I know I can't keep, but I'll do my best to make it home to you. So we can live our dreams.
Every thing's fine. I love you. We're going to make this work.
Yours always. Edward.
Eight months, one week, and four days since I last saw Edwards beautiful green eyes. Two months of which I haven't heard one single word from him. I missed him terribly and it felt like everyday was a struggle. The longest I had gone without speaking him was three weeks, and if I thought that was hell, this was ten times worse. I folded the letter back and put it back in my pocket. It was the first letter I got from him and I carried it around all the time. I had gotten plenty others, but that one meant most to me.
"Bella, you want some popcorn?" Alice sat down on the couch next to me and I shook my head. "Not hungry again?" I shook my head again. She scooted over next to me and smiled gently. "Edward's going to kill me if you lose any weight. You know that right?" I looked up at her and shook my head. Her shoulders slumped and she rested a hand on my arm. "Bella, if you need to talk, I'm here. Jasper's here. I can't understand what you're going though, because I'm not. But maybe I can help you if you tell me something. You don't have to, but you know I wanna hear. Tell me again how he proposed!" She smiled and popped up on her knees beside me.
I smiled a little and recited the whole thing back to her, for what had to be hundredth time in the last eight months. We hadn't got a chance to talk about it before he left, and I thought maybe he wanted to be here when I gave them the news, but I wasn't going to take that ring off, for no reason, so I wound up telling them the day after he left. Mainly because Esme saw the ring at dinner and I blushed like mad.
Esme, Alice and Rosalie have been my rocks. They've been the woman to help me and guide me though this. None of them had gone through this, so none of them knew exactly what I was going through. But I got to talk to a couple women, especially a woman named Victoria. She was so nice and caring. Her fiancee was in the same group as Edward, and they were good friends. She knew what to say to me, and most of the time, I knew what to say to her. We talked about once a week and it always went about the same way. We ended up talking about our men and how much we wanted them home. Both of them were originally off for a year, and that meant we had four more months.
"Have you talked to Victoria lately?" Alice turned from the TV and looked at me. She had finally given up trying to talk to me after the proposal story and turned the TV back on.
I nodded my head. "Yeah, just a couple days ago."
Just then the phone rang. Alice jumped up to get it, seeing that I wasn't going to move. Edward told me to live, but he didn't understand how hard that was going to be. How tough living without him was. I missed him so much and every time I thought of him, my eyes watered. I couldn't take this anymore. I wanted him here. With me. Now!
"Bella, sweety, Victoria's on the phone for you." Alice held out the phone and I got up off the couch, throwing Edwards blanket aside. Speaking of Victoria.
I walked over and grabbed the phone and heard sobs coming from the other end. "Victoria?! What's wrong?"
"James was injured Bella. They're sending him home to recuperate further in a hospital here."
"Recuperate further?" What did that mean?"
"He's been hurt for two months and they didn't say anything until now. Apparently it was under his request, and they always listen to them when it comes to phone calls and such. He's coming home Bella! Can you believe that? I finally get to have him home. I know he's hurt and all, but at least he's coming home. I can help him and know he's safe. And my due date is tomorrow. He'll be home for the birth. Oh Bella. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so happy. Have you heard from Edward yet?"
"No. Not yet."
"Bella, sweetheart, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help."
"You'll have James now, and that beautiful baby that you have to send me pictures of the minute he's born. Promise?" I tried to smile and let her know I was happy for her, but the selfish part of me was wanting to hang up and cry. She was getting her fiancee back, and I hadn't heard from mine in two months!
"I promise. As soon as I stop screaming and yelling, I'll get a happy picture." She laughed a little and I heard the doorbell ring. I saw Alice get up at get it so I turned back around.
"Good. Well when's he going to be home?"
"Hopefully tonight. He'll be in the hospital for a week or two, but that's perfect since I'll be there soon myself."
"Yeah, convenient." We both had a small laugh before I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Alices blank face.
"Bella, there's a man from the Army at your door. He's got something for you." Alice took the phone from me and I immediately froze.
Wait, two months ago James was shot? It's been two months since I've heard from Edward. What if? Oh no. No, no, I can't do this. I thought back to the night before he left.
"Bella, I've decided tonight is just about you and me." He smiled at me and I felt my heart flutter. Only this man could do that to me.
"Edward, I'm so nervous. What if," I was interrupted by his lips crashing against mine.
"Just you and me remember?" He smiled at me again and I nodded, sighing in defeat. "Tomorrow's just another day. And we'll both live through it. And the days to follow will only be one more day down til I see you again."
"What's our wedding going to be like?" I looked up and met his eyes, running my hand up and down his chest.
"What do you want it to be like love?" He kissed my nose and I giggled.
"Small, intimate. Very white. I want you to wear a nice shirt and pants, no suit. Maybe a cute sun dress for me. Blue flowers everywhere. Only family and a couple friends. Yeah?"
He nodded. "Sounds perfect. Very you." He laughed and turned on the movie. 'The Notebook.' He didn't like it very much, but I did.
When it got to the part that Noah and Fin went off to war and Fin didn't come home, I broke down. I couldn't hold it anymore. It wasn't fair that two friends go off, and one don't return. What if Edward didn't come home? How was I going to live with that? How was I going to survive without him? Who was I going to turn to?
"Bella, love, don't cry. It's just a movie. I'm gonna come home." He ran his hands over my shoulders, up and down, trying to comfort me.
"It's not just a movie Edward! It's true. In that aspect it is, people die everyday while fighting for this country. What if you're one of them? I can't have that. Please don't go." I cried into his shoulder and felt him slightly sobbing as well.
"God I wish more than anything to stay here with you love. But we both know I can't. I'm going to miss you, but I will come home." He kissed the top of my head and I cried harder. I know he said we wouldn't think about it tonight. That it would be me and him. Bella and Edward. But I couldn't help it.
"Edward. You have to come home. If you don't I won't live myself. I'd rather die than be without you. I won't do it." I wrapped my arms around him and held him close for the rest of the night.
We fell asleep on the couch and woke early the next morning from the sun shining through the full window.
"Fin." I whispered as I let go of the phone.
"Who? Bella who are you talking about?" Alice tried to talk to me but I turned and walked slowly to the door. When I got to the stairs, I half thought about running up them and trapping myself in a room; never to come out.
I got to the door and opened it up fully. It was already cracked a little. When I saw the man standing there in his uniform and a letter in his hand I started crying. "Miss Swan?" I nodded slowly, biting my bottom lip hard. "Hello. I'm Sargent Hamilton and I'm afraid I have some news for you."
He held out the letter and I took it. With trembling hands, I ripped it open and pulled the letter out. I fought to get it unfolded and when I did, I looked at up the man at my door and saw his gentle, friendly smile. It wasn't a good smile, but it wasn't a bad one either. He did this all day, everyday though. He was used to this kinda stuff.
That's when I knew. Something was terribly wrong with Edward and he was about to break his promise to me.
BANG! I jumped at the sound as the last gun shot of the twenty-one gun salute rang through the air. I was sitting in my seat next to almost a hundred other women and the men that made it home. This was a ceremony for the men that didn't. Tears were pouring down my face and I couldn't stop them. I still remember that day, five months ago that I got that letter sealing my future in it's words. I looked next to me to see Victoria a couple chairs down, with James at her side. Then behind me to another couple, another man that made it home to his wife. My tears felt hot as they ran down my cheeks even faster as I looked to the woman at my right. Her husband hadn't come home and she was sobbing uncontrollably. For a moment, I knew how she felt.
Before I could reach up and wipe my tears away, a pale hand got there first and wiped them away for me. "Bella. It's OK."
I looked next to me and nodded, smiling a little before grabbing his hand and kissing it. His green eyes shined in the sunlight and I leaned over for a kiss. "I love you Edward."
He kissed me back and moved his lips to my ear. "I love you too, Mrs. Cullen."
We both smiled and turned back towards the front.
When the ceremony was over, I helped Edward up and handed him his crutches. "C'mon honey, Victoria and James invited us to lunch."
He nodded and hobbled next to me out of the aisle and to the car. We met up with James and Victoria and drove to the restaurant.
I will admit. Maybe I had been wrong that day. But in some ways, I had been very right. He did break a promise to me, in the sense that he came home injured. He took a shot to the back and it was just an inch of so from his spine. An inch from permanent paralyzing. He was just an inch from being wheelchair bound for the rest of his life. Instead, he had to walk around on crutches and recover from the many surgeries Carlisle had to perform on him. The most recent also being the final. He didn't really need the crutches anymore, but I kept them handy, just in case.
"Honey, I don't need these anymore. I told you, I'm perfectly fine. See." He threw the crutches to the ground and spun around a couple times and danced in the middle of the parking lot. James and Victoria got a good laugh as I shook my head and smiled. I sighed and put them back in the trunk of his car, the took the key and locked it. He walked over to me and threw an arm over my shoulder. "I love you sweetheart."
I smiled up at him and took a deep breath through my nose. "I love you too." I paused for a second and stopped walking. The minute he realized I had fell behind he stopped and turned to face me.
"What's wrong love?" He rested a hand on my cheek and my eyes automatically closed. "Bella, what is it?"
"Tell me something Edward." I opened my eyes to look at him and saw him smile.
"Anything. What do you wanna hear?" He brought our joined hands to his chest and laid them against his heart.
"Tell me you won't leave again." I looked down for a second, but before did, I saw his smile grow wider.
"I won't leave again. I can't leave again. You know that." He brought my face back up and kissed my lips softly. "I've been released from any further active duty. I'm not leaving you again Bella. Not ever again. I promise you that."
I nodded and kissed him again. I sighed relief and I felt him smile against my lips. "You're my everything Edward."
"As you're mine Bella. I'm staying put. We're going to be together forever. We're going to raise a happy family and stay with one another for the rest of eternity." He pulled back and smiled at me, making my heart melt.
"Family?" I smiled and he nodded.
"As soon as possible." He chuckled and I nodded.
"OK. I love you."
"I love you too."
We walked into the restaurant and sat down. I looked next to me and realized my life was perfect. I had Edward. I had him here, whole, and safe. I hated him being gone, and now that I knew that was never going to happen again I could breath again. When Edward first told me he was adimite on joing the Army, I was supportive. I don't think I knew then what I was getting myself into. But he was home and would I trade his happiness?
Not for anything in the world.
So? I couldn't help but bring James and Victoria in. I figured a good role for them would be a change. Sorry if that ruined anything for you (= Also, I don't know what it feels like to have a husband or a boyfriend or a fiancee in the Army, or any other division for that matter. In fact, I don't know anyone in the Armed Forces. I do however feel sympathy towards woman that do. I also don't know much about groups or Infantries or Sargents, or anything, so very sorry if I messed something up.
Other than that, lemme know what you think (=