Author: sangre antigua.

Rating; Title; Pairing: M; Questioning Existence; Godric/Eric.

Summary: AU Eric thinks about his changing a lot. Godric snaps him out of it. Godric/Eric, SLASH.

Warning/Disclaimer: I do not own Godric nor Eric or anything to do with the True Blood show. But the plot in this one is mine.

Oh, and I kind of...altered Eric's persona a bit to make it fit my story. He's only been a vampire for a little while, so he's still in touch with his mortal feelings and what not. He's rather out of character so, don't kill me. If you don't like that (or the fact that there's some graphic action between him and Godric), don't read it.

Reviews are love!

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Life, if one could call it that, was so different with a constant cloak of darkness. Eric had lived on this land his entire life, but had never really appreciated how it looked at night. He had never taken a moment to admire the moon reflecting on water, or the stars living and dying in the sky. The moon on his back when he ran was a strange feeling, but not unwelcome. Although it wasn't warm or golden, the milky silver was comforting and protecting. It allowed him to roam at night, away from the pain that the daylight ensured. It would never hurt him, just protect him. Like a mother wolf to her pup, it would watch over Eric and make sure the night was on his side. It was a beautiful thought, having something as grand as the moon on his side. Like he could do anything, and she would watch from the sidelines, watching, waiting, protecting. He shifted in his spot and sighed softly.

"You're thinking again," was whispered quietly. A cool fall breeze swept the words right off of the male's lips, to Eric and then straight off, to everywhere and no where. Maybe to the moon, to inform her that her children were conversing. "You look so...distant when you are lost in thought. Bizarrely peaceful. Tell me, what is on your mind?"

Eric mulled over what he was to say. Did he tell his maker his thoughts, despite how sentimental they were? Did he allow him to see how soft he still was, how mortal-like? Or did he lie, dirtying up the bond between them? The blond vampire rolled onto his back and folded his arms on top of his chest. Amusingly, he still took in air and pushed it out. He held his breath, beckoning for his body to cut off the ties holding him down to that habit. He laid there beside his maker, silent for what felt like eternity (though it was only for a few moments) before answering, rolling his eyes as air went back into his lungs. What a filthy mortal habit. "I was thinking about my life right now."

Beside him, Godric laughed and disconnected Eric's hands from themselves so he could insert his own. He sat up and crossed his legs, shadowing Eric from the moonlight. "Do you dislike it, this...life that I have given you? Do you dislike being a companion of death?" Godric toyed with their braided fingers, loosening his grip only to tighten it once more. Antics like these were common for Godric. Though he was significantly older than Eric, he appeared to be much younger. His skin was smooth all over, fresh and taut and youthful, and his strength hardly showed in his arms and legs. His face, his beautiful, youthful face, could captivate anyone, even when he allowed himself to go ages without washing.

Did Eric like being a companion of death? He had never really thought about it before. Living the way they did, amongst the moon and the stars, feeding on blood and other creature's fear? It certainly wasn't the life that he had been used to, but it had its perks. He could explore the world and fight for extended periods of times without feeling even a touch of exhaustion, not to mention see more beauty in the world than he had ever been able to. Though the perks were significant and beautiful, the downsides were on the completely opposite side of the spectrum. His men had been murdered, he would never feel the sun on his face ever again, nor would he be able to see his family or his people.

But which life was greater? Which gave him more of a sense of worth, of belonging?

"You are thinking this over so hard, I can feel the tension in your hands. Is this because you really do not know how you feel, or do you not want to hurt my feelings? Because if it is the latter, trust you will not offend me. It is a simple question and I simply want to know why it occupies you so." Godric brushed his cheek against their joined hands. The tips of his hairs against Eric's bare wrist birthed goosebumps all over his flesh. The elder male smirked. "I will not say I regret changing you though," he added, his voice lowering. "Your companionship is divine. Your movement is beautiful and your fervor...marvelous. If I had not changed you, your spirit would have wasted away in little to no time..."

Was the tension really that tangible? Eric stared at their hands. His own were much larger, but Godric's grip was stronger than Eric's would ever be. If Eric had still been a mortal, the strength behind Godric's simple squeezes would have broken bones. He squeezed back before answering. "I am not sure how I feel about this life. It is not entirely bad, but...it is not the life I once had. I am still young, so I guess this is why I am still so questioning." He offered a smile to Godric. The other returned it and kissed the back of Eric's hand. "I do enjoy your companionship, though. You have so much for me to learn, it is truly beautiful. You move so gracefully, and your strength is beyond words." Eric sat up, his free arm lazily propping him up. "I just have to get used to it, this life. I do have eternity to do so." He smiled again, his eyes hopeful and calm.

When Godric stood, Eric feared he had offended the elder male. He bit his tongue and sat up, watching attentively as his hand was let go of. As it fell back to him, he bit his lip. "Come with me, I wish to retire. Sunrise is almost upon us." Without a word, he was off. Light as a feather on his feed, Godric moved with the grace of a domesticated cat, and with the speed of the wildest of them all. He dodged trees like he had a map of the world on the back of his hands.

His companion watched from his spot on the floor in awe for a moment. Then he set off, as well, eager to bridge the gap between them. He was nor as graceful or as fast as Godric, but as times he moved so poetically that the wind, itself, was jealous. He pushed himself deeper into the woods after his maker and faster into the night, the wind playing with the dirty blond mane of hair that whipped behind him.

Godric reached their lair first, though it was to be expected. Moments after his arrival, the wind brought him Eric. The elder male stretched his arms, the muscles in his back rippling pleasurably, before turning around to embrace Eric. One arm went around Eric's broad shoulders while the other brushed against the fine skin of his face. Godric smiled. "Tomorrow, I shall treat you to a far away land, the likes of which you have never seen. We will travel and in due time we will return. Would you like this?"

Eric reveled in the texture of Godric's hand. Worn from life and hard work, yet still gentle and concerned. "I would like this," he retorted, his voice hushed even with the rest of the world ignorant to their existence. Their nest was an old cave, one that went deep into the ground, far away from the harmful sun. The trek to the bottom was long and dangerous for most, but the duo had come and gone so often that it was no longer an issue. It was perfect for them, beautiful in its treachery and its homeliness. At the bottom, just to the right of the cavern they slept in, was an underground river with the bluest water Eric had ever seen.

The thought of leaving their home, even with Godric, frightened him. But Eric would go. He couldn't be tied to one place. He needed to see the world. He needed to embrace his vampiric need for exploration, for fresh, new blood. He needed to shut his foolish mortal feelings out.

Together they entered their home, peaceful in their silence. The only audible sounds to the bottom of the cave were the quiet sounds of their footfall, and their gentle breathing. Their eyes adjusted as they plunged farther and farther down, and their senses, smelling the underground river and the oils from their fingers all over the walls. When they finally reached the bottom, their destination, Godric located their fire pit and started a fire, rubbing two rocks together on top of a handful of dried grasses. The fire roared alive as Godric rose to full-height. The flames licked the cave walls and danced to an invisible tune.

"If I may ask, where are we going?" Eric questioned, following the shorter male into the river's cavern. Before him, Godric removed his animal-skin clothes. Eric followed suit. "South, I presume," he mused and entered the water behind his maker.

"South, yes," Godric purred back. He scooped a handful of water to his chest and let it fall, trickling down his chest until it reached its home once more. "But the rest is a surprise. And it shall stay one until we reach our destination." Godric liked surprises, whether they were secret clearings in the forest or Princesses from neighboring tribes.

Eric wet his hands and traced them over his stomach. "You know I do not like surprises," he teased.

"I know...hence why I take so much pleasure from forcing them on you." The laugh that left Godric's mouth was warm, sensual. Eric went to wrap his arms around the other's waist, but Godric was behind him with his arms wrapped around Eric before Eric knew it. He exhaled heavily and smirked as Godric laughed at him. "You have been vampire for many moons now, but still...you are very much human. Excitable. Frustrable. Captivated. It truly is beautiful."

Eric turned to meet Godric, hunching in the slightest so their faces were nearer. He smoothed back some of Godric's hair and watched as Godric nudged himself into the touch. "I am always excited by you. And frustrated. And captivated. Sometimes, while we feed, I forget to eat because I am too busy watching you do so. No wonder you have lasted as long as you have. You are like a spider, trapping mortals and animals alike into your web."

Hungrily, Godric met their lips. He could still taste the kill from earlier on his tongue, the sweetness that only a woman could taste. He gripped the other tightly, his nails in his shoulders. When they broke away, Godric looked up and asked, "How do I frustrate you?"

"You frustrate me by making me want you...all the time." The grin on Godric's face and the nip at his Adam's Apple made Eric shiver. He picked up Godric and in the blink of an eye was between his legs on the shore of the river.

"Do you want me now?" Godric whispered, his breath hitching as he felt Eric's manhood brush his own. Like always, he wrapped his legs around Eric's waist.

"'All of the time', Godric," Eric mumbled, pausing to kiss along the other's shoulders, "means all the time. Now, then, forever."

Despite the harshness of the shore on Godric's back, he wiggled and writhed against the stones while he kissed his companion, their tongues fighting for dominancy as they limbs fought to keep them as close as they could. There was blood in their mouths, bitter and different from human or animal blood. Neither of them complained. Neither of them thought anything ill of it, either. It was a chance to get even closer to the other.

They distanced themselves long enough for Eric to push himself inside of the elder vampire, then, like elastic, returned to each other's embraces. Godric moaned loudly, his pleasure and pain echoing off of the cavern walls, and bucked downward. He raised his lower half off the ground to Eric could slid in and out easier, so he could get inside him as much as possible. Having Eric inside of him was beyond words. His length touched places Godric had never known existed, and it pleased the both of them. It also gave Eric a chance to be the dominator, and he needed that as a rising vampire.

Sweat beaded Eric's body, making their love-making even easier. He held the other's eyes, basking in the fire that Godric's brown eyes harbored. Keeping eye contact was so intense that it made him blush, but the passion and the orgasm that came along with it made the revealing antic acceptable. He thrust harshly and groaned throatily, his voice cracking under the bliss.

Godric went to work on his own erection, jerking up and down in rhythm with Eric's thrusts. With his other hand, he snaked around and grabbed Eric's ass. He grinned with Eric and bit at his lip, waiting to surprise Eric with his next move. As his finger slipped inside, Eric groaned again, confused by the new sensation and then aroused by it.

For half an hour they moved together as one until, finally, they could no longer hold themselves back. A shudder rippled through Eric's body as he came, his seed filling Godric's entrance and spilling out. The sudden, though expected, warmth triggered Godric's own climax, and with a long purr he finished. Panting, they pulled apart, though stayed close. Eric toyed with the seed on his chest, licking his fingers clean several times and bringing it to Godric's own lips once or twice.

With a soft yawn, Godric stretched. "We should wash off and rest. Sunrise is near, and I have to say I am quite exhausted."

He nodded in agreement and walked with his companion, his lover, into the river. They kissed as the water washed away the seed and the sweat off their bodies, the fruit of their love making. Then they exited, still dripping with water, and walked into the next cavern over. Warmed from the fire, their bed of dried grasses and animal skins was more comfortable than ever.

After getting situated, Eric looked over at Godric. "Can I just have a hint?"

"No," he promptly answered. Then he laughed and nipped at his lover's cheek. "Go to sleep. Not before long you will see." When Eric groaned, he laughed again. "Oh, and Eric."

"Yes?"

"Question your existence more often, okay?"

Eric laughed this time and pulled Godric to his chest and got comfortable. "Yes, sir."