I was up a little late and couldn't sleep because yoai was on my mind, so I decided to write a KakuHida fic. I love this pairing. This is my first lemon, so I hope it's good. Critic is strongly welcome!

Disclaimer: Seriously? If I owned Naruto, I wouldn't be on this website…

Rating: M

Pairing: Kakuzu and Hidan

Warning: Language, sex,


As Hidan and Kakuzu walked down the mountain path, Hidan couldn't help but bitch. It was, after all, his specialty. "Kakuzuuuuuuuu, when the fuck can we stop walking? I'm tiiiiiiredddddd!"

Kakuzu sighed and held in his anger. If it weren't Hidan, he would've sent them flying across the planet to their terrifying death. Kakuzu absolutely hated that Hidan was immortal sometimes. He wanted to shut him up by ending his life, but it wasn't possible.

"Oy! Don't ignore me, bastard! I want to fucking stop and I want to stop fucking now!"

"Fine… we'll find a cheap inn at the next town."

Hidan just smirked to himself triumphantly and kept on walking.

After another 20 minutes or so of walking, they reached a small town that honestly looked like a ghetto. There were run down buildings and scruffy looking people walking the streets.

"Shit, it must suck to be these people. I would sacrifice them to put them out of their misery, but I'm too tired…" Hidan said almost like it something a normal human would say.

"Whatever Hidan. Here's an inn," Kakuzu said gesturing toward an old building that was three stories high.

Hidan grimaced, but just followed Kakuzu through the front door. It was better than the times Kakuzu made them sleep outside because the town they were staying in was 'too expensive.'

Kakuzu walked up to the front desk and looked down at the old man working there. "One room, two beds," Kakuzu said, leaving out any sense of politeness.

The old man just replied, "Okay sir. Your name for the listing?" He acted like Kakuzu was a normal looking human.

"Anonymous," Kakuzu replied as Hidan stood behind him, bored and tired.

"Alright sir. Here is the key to your room. Your room is number 12," said the old man.

Kakuzu grabbed the key and started walking down the hall that was on the right side of the lobby.

"Oy, Kakuzu, where's our room?" Hidan asked annoyingly.

Kakuzu sighed and replied to the annoying child-like man beside him. "It's on the second floor because our room number is 12 and the room numbers only go up to 10 on this floor genius…"

"Fuck you."

Kakuzu just rolled his eyes and walked toward the staircase that was looming in front of them.

Once they had climbed the stairs and found room 12, Hidan threw his scythe on the floor and plopped down on one of the beds. He then began to take off his shoes and his pants. Kakuzu walked over to the other bed and took off his shoes, his shirt, and his mask. He saved the pants for later.

"Geez Kakuzu. What did you look like before you got all weird?" Hidan dared to ask.

Kakuzu's temper flared and his arm detached and punched Hidan across the face.

"You know I like pain. That's useless unless you wanna get me off, asshole," Hidan said to the old miser. "Anyway, what did you look like before you got all weird?"

Kakuzu figured that getting him off wouldn't make him less angry, so he retracted his arm and answered the smirking immortal. "Like this minus the stitches."

Hidan took in the information. "Hmm. I like the stitches better," he said while he put his hands behind his head.

Kakuzu was caught off guard. He got a confused look on his face and stared at Hidan, who was grinning back. "You said I looked weird and now you say you like my stitches?"

"Oy, who says weird isn't sexy?" Hidan said nonchalantly.

Now Kakuzu was really confused. "…Did you just call me sexy, Hidan?"

"Heh, maybe I did. Maybe I wanna do something with someone who's sexy…" Hidan said suggestively.

"…Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Within a moment, Hidan was on top of Kakuzu, straddling his waist. "You know damn well what I'm suggesting, old fuck."

Kakuzu was totally dumbfounded. Hidan was obviously attractive, but Kakuzu never thought that Hidan would want to sleep with Kakuzu out of all the people he could have. He was so focused on staring at Hidan above him in disbelief that he didn't notice the growing bulge in his pants. Hidan obviously noticed and his smirk grew (if that was even possible).

Hidan crashed his lips with Kakuzu's and Kakuzu kissed back, much to Hidan's pleasure. Kakuzu's tongue begged for entrance to Hidan's mouth and Hidan gladly granted it by opening his mouth slightly. Their tongues battled for dominance while Hidan grabbed the waistband of Kakuzu's pants and maneuvered them down and off.

By that point, Kakuzu had won the battle of the tongues and both him and his partner needed air. Hidan pulled away and both took in their much-needed air. Kakuzu would have said something about how what they were doing was going to be regretted later, but hormones have a way of silencing doubts.

Hidan looked Kakuzu straight in the eyes and started to pull down his boxers and navigate them to the floor. He then grabbed Kakuzu's member in a firm grip, earning him a grunt from Kakuzu. He started stroking Kakuzu's shaft and running his thumb over the tip lightly, all the while looking Kakuzu in the eyes. Kakuzu was groaning quietly and gripping the comforter of his bed while Hidan was playing with him. Once Hidan thought that he wanted some attention himself, he got off the bed and took off his own boxers. By this time, Kakuzu's rational thoughts were thrown out the window thanks to his arousal and he got up, grabbed Hidan, and threw him on the bed.

"Now you're in the mood, eh asshole?"

"Fuck you."

"That's what you're going to get to, isn't it?"

Kakuzu planted a hungry kiss on Hidan's lips. His tongue won dominance yet again and he began to explore Hidan's cavern. At the same time, he grabbed Hidan's erect member and began pumping it hard, earning deep growls from Hidan. When it was time to break for air, Kakuzu flipped Hidan over onto his hands and knees and Hidan laughed. "Now you're seeing it my way."

Kakuzu replied by placing his cock at Hidan's entrance, figuring Hidan liked it rough and didn't need any preparation or lubrication. Hidan was almost shaking in anticipation, wanting the pain SO bad.

"FUCK!" screamed Hidan as Kakuzu thrust hard into him. The while inn must have heard him, but neither him nor the geezer cared at the moment. Kakuzu was holding onto Hidan's hips and slamming into him hard. It's great when you have a masochistic partner; you can fuck them as hard as you want.

Hidan was cursing and groaning, and Kakuzu decided to take his partners feeling to a new level. He let out some of his tentacles and they started scraping and cutting at Hidan's muscled back. "Oh, f-fuck Kakuzu! Do everything h-harder! Ah!" Hidan managed to say through all of his sick pleasure. Kakuzu complied and Hidan's blood was dripping onto the sheets and some was dripping onto Kakuzu. Of course, Kakuzu didn't care. He was just thrusting harder and harder into Hidan, who loved every moment of it.

"AHHHHH!!!!" Hidan screamed as Kakuzu changed his angle slightly. "Right there! Right fucking there!" Kakuzu had hit Hidan's sweet spot, and it was obvious. Kakuzu just kept on going, not really trying to hit Hidan's happy valley, but he was. At this point, both the old man and the priest felt their orgasms looming. Their breathing was getting uneven and their rhythm was now less syncopated.

"OH, FUCK!!!" Hidan cried out as his muscles clenched around Kakuzu and white cum splattered over his stomach. Hidan's muscles contracting around him sent Kakuzu over the edge as he emptied himself into Hidan. Hidan collapsed. Kakuzu pulled out and then collapsed half on top of Hidan. Once their breathe evened out, Kakuzu looked at Hidan said, "I always thought you'd be a screamer…"