"Bella! Let's Go to the park!!" Emmett jumped.
"No" I said flatly
"But why……" He whined.
"Because" I began " we'll go then you and Jasper will go off somewhere, leaving me, I end up in some cage with and animal . Then we'll be on the 7:00 news. Edward will find out then rip your head off , then I'll puke when it gets reattached."
"Huh…" Emmett thought about that for while.
"Its either this or a bar"
"Deal" I said Immediately , we don't a recap of what happened the last time.
Many moons ago….
"Bella I'm Bored" Emmett whined
"Entertain me!" He snapped his fingers
"Ok, Umm , A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar…"
"That's it!" Emmett yelled
"What I didn't even say the funny part yet" I complained
"No. Finish you joke later….Were to a bar!"
"Yeah…right" I laughed
"No seriously. This could be like an early wedding gift for ya!"
"Jasper stop dolls we're going out!" Emmett called
"They're not Dolls- Action figures" He came down stairs
"We're are we going ?" he asked
"Wait!" Jasper said " We need to do something about her outfit"
Suddenly Alice walked through the door with hands on her hips
"She is Not going anywhere" She said, I took a breathe to relax, "Not until I get to pick out her out fit"
"Ughhhh---hh!" I groaned out.
"Takes notes Bella that's what its going to song like when you and Eddie-…ow Jasper!" Emmett Rubbed his head.
* * *
After Alice "Sex-ified" me, or as she calls it , of course Emmett made a joke about THAT. She left before the others got suspicious about were she went.
"99 bottles of on the wall, 99 bottles on the wall take one down pass it around and now we gots Bella drunk!" Emmett sang.
"Nice" I rolled eyes
Emmet pulled up at the corner. We got out.
"Let's party like its 1919!! WHOO" Emmett ran in waving his hands.
"whatever" I sighed, walking
* * *
The place was packed. I sat the bar while Emmett "Got his grove on" and Jasper taped it.
"Are you thirsy Bella!" Emmett asked " Good!"
I was about to protest , while opening my mouth, when he dumped some liquid in my mouth.
"Ahhhh, fire water" I choked.
"Sorry here try this" I gave me a glass of creamy liquid . It tasted good ….I kept drink drink more and more of it…..
"We'll That not my fault you like it" Emmett said, Because I was glaring at him
20 minutes later….
We're playing rock paper siccors with Bella outside the club. I won.
"You know…" Bella slurred "I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immoooobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you"."
"Thank you for the speech …now is Jasper?"
"UGH" Jasper groaned
"Ain't no party like a Empath Party because an Empath party don't stop! Ain't no party like a Empath Party because an Empath party don't stop! " Jasper called on top of the counter.
"Nice" Emmett chuckled
"Shut up!" Jasper said , pinching his nose bridge
"This shit is bananas THIS SHIT IS BANANAA B-A-N-A-N-A-S!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"It is , It certainly is BANANAS" I laughed
"UH Jasper we should go" I said
"My Name is not ' Jasper' Anal retentive puppy fornicator! It is Prince Blondie sparkly-feel feel"
"That's one time!" I yelled
"And I'm princess Brown head Mc. trip a lot!"
"Ok who ever you are" I rolled my eyes.
"Prince Blondie sparkly-feel feel" Bella said" Use your witch magic to make him happy like us!!!"
Jasper wiggled his fingers.
"If you can only feel the way I feel .OHHHHHHH!!!!!"
I felt All bubbly inside
" Dreidel Dreidel...I made it out of clay. and when it's dry and ready, oh dreidel I shall play. OH! ." OH WAIT I'M NOT I'm on fire or am I ?Hmmm Why are you here and reading this. What ?who? Are? where am I ? what number did you call ? Who is this? Good-bye !...Good thing that was just a figment of my imagination....or was it"
"There something wrong with toilet!" Jasper Called….Pissing in a telephone both
"yeah well this couch is lumpy!" Bella said….she was sitting on a hobo….
"I smelt like that for a week !" Bella complained.
"Good times Good times…"
"I never got to finish my joke!"
"OK go Ahead"
"Ok A priest and A Rabbi walk into the bar….They sit and order their drinks ,pay….and leave!!!" she burst out laughing
We stared with blank faces
I leaned to Jasper and whispered
"Vampirism Better give a sense of humor "