A/N- I know what some of you are thinking, why hasn't she updated Almonds and Ready Meals, I haven't given up on it, its been lack of incentive to write, but now it's the holidays and I'm working on it. I've got a couple of one shots to upload, this and a smut (sneaky grin) and then I'm gunna start on it. Right, this is just a rambling in Ianto's head, concerning a certain Captain, hence the title.

My god, he is gorgeous. His beauty still takes me by surprise when I least expect it. Those eyes just seem to twinkle in a darkened room, and their age still startle me. For someone who appears so young, his eyes say a different age. I can't believe how lucky I am to find someone like him. After everything that I've done, I don't deserve it. Its amazing that he found it in his heart to let me back through the door after the Lisa incident. But I think he sympathised with me. In his life he must have found love somewhere before Torchwood took over everything.

For someone who appears so scary, he can be surprisingly gentle. I found that out when he first kissed me. I thought it would be all lust and harshness, but it wasn't. He simply touched his lips to mine, giving me time to pull away if I wasn't comfortable with it. He's so caring, under all the bravado. It's like he understands me, can read my thoughts the second I think them. It scared me at first, because it meant that I couldn't hide anything, but it turned out to be a blessing.

The amount of empathy that this man has in unbelievable. Our job only seems to scratch the surface, the things we see him do every day. Like with Cerise- he saw the lonely woman that was barely more than a girl underneath the alien. Unlike Gwen, he didn't try to put other people in danger to help her. He sat with her and talked. Just talked. Simple human contact.

He did the same with me. My shoulder to cry on in times of need, and believe me, I've cried on it enough times that I wouldn't be surprised if there was a permanent puddle on it. He understands me so much. The first time we made love, yes, it was making love, there is no other word for it. He was so caring and loving. We went at my pace, and he didn't try to push me. He understood that I was nervous and that this was my first time with a man. He understood that this was a big thing. He understood that it needed to be slow. He was that gentle that the only thing that I felt was bliss. And I will be eternally grateful to him for that.

For everything that he's done for me, I want to be there for him. I want to be there for him through the long, sleepless nights. I want to be a constant in his life. I want to save him from himself, because he saved me.