Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. The lovely and talented Stephenie Meyer does.
I hope you liked my first chapter...like I said in my summary, this is my first attempt at writing so please send me your reviews with your honesty inside. Thanks and enjoy. Sorry I didn't mention before, but this story will be in BPOV. If it changes I will note it.
P.S Sorry it took so long to update, real life stepped in! And yes it is a short chapter. I will update as soon as my fingers will allow.
Coming to terms
We sat in silence after what seemed like days. In actuality it had only been a few hours. I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that Edward and Alice were gone. All I wanted to do was crawl in a hole somewhere and pull the dirt over my head. I looked to Carlisle who was sitting in the same chair across from me with his head back against the chair as if he were sleeping. Jasper was still on the couch with me but had moved over so I could have more room to relax. I couldn't take the silence anymore, I had to know when all this happened.
"Carlisle.." he looked at me immediately. "When did all this take place? Has it been long? Did you guys have a funeral for them? If that is what you do."
"It happened three weeks ago Bella. Jasper left Alaska right away to find you."
"Alaska? Is that where you guys have been for two years? What has everyone been up to until this event happened. Please Carlisle, Jasper talk to me. I need to feel something other than pain." I pleaded with them. Jasper sat up and swiftly made it to my side and pulled me into him once again. He had become my new protector of sorts and it calmed me.
"Yes Bella, we have been in Alaska. Rose and Em started college and got their own small house near our larger one. Alice and I had started high school again, this time as seniors, and Edward went to work with Carlisle at the hospital. He didn't want to be in school again." A few tears fell from my eyes as Jasper talked fondly of his family. I had missed them more than I realized. I guess I never really got over Edward or any of them being gone, I just learned how bury it deep inside, locking that part of me up and refusing to face it.
"Bella." Carlisle brought me out of my thoughts as he started to speak, "Esme sends her best dear. She wishes she could have been here. She had a cliet come all the way from London. She will be restoring an old hotel for them there later this year and they insisted they wanted to travel to Alaska and look at all the plans Esme had already drawn up for them. Unfortunately I do need to be heading out soon though. I have an early morning shift at the hospital and Esme will want to talk more about the memorial service we want to have for Alice and Edward now that we have found you."
"When were you thinking of having it Carlisle? I have spring break coming up."
"I'm not sure, but we don't want you to miss any school, so as soon as I talk with Esme, Emmett and Rosalie I will let you know. For the meantime, Bella, what are your plans? Are you staying here in Forks for a few days? Are you going to go home to Seattle? I am sure Charlie would love to see you."
"She's staying here." Jasper spat out before I could answer. It was a split second after I decided, he really did have Alice's power.
"Thank you Jasper. Yes he is correct. I think I will stay here and visit. I will call the school and tell them I have had a t-tragedy in my family and I need to help tend to arrangements." I let the tears flow this time, not willing them away. I figured if I cried them all out, maybe I would run out of tears. I knew scientifically that probably wouldn't happen, but I was a girl who had just lost the love of her life for the second time and her best friend all in the same day.
Carlisle left a few hours later, we exchanged cell phone numbers first so he could call me after the arrangements had been made. Jasper stayed with me and held me as I cried. I felt drained. I had only been this tired one other time in my life, two years ago when The Cullen's left me. Now they were back, minus two and I was devastated. I wanted my friend back and I wanted my Edward.
"Thank you Jasper, I couldn't do this alone. I am glad you are here. I miss...Alice...Edward...Why?"
I woke to the sound of my cell phone alerting me to a new text message. I rubbed my eyes and then realized I was curled up against something hard and cold. When I focused my gaze my eyes fell on the cashmere covered chest of Jasper. He had his head back as if he were sleeping and he was pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, just like Edward used to do. He noticed my movement and looked down at me with a grin. "Did you know you talk in your sleep?" he asked me with a raised brow. I sat up just as the blood started to rush to my cheeks. I hated blushing more than crying.
"Uh..umm...I hope I didn't say anything incriminating." he just grinned wider. I was now more embarassed than before.
He lifted his hand and ran it through his hair. "Nope...not really. You thanked me for being here and...." he stopped there and didn't finish, lowering his head, smile faded.
"Jasper..." I reached over and lifted his chin. His eyes were full of sadness and if he could shed a tear they would be flowing. "...please tell me. I know I had a dream of Alice and Edward. Did I say their names aloud? Why didn't you wake me?"
"What was your dream about?" he asked. The begging in his eyes told me he wanted to talk about our lost loves. I realized then that we had something in common. Whether or not I hadn't seen them in two years, we both lose our true loves. We were going through this together. Him, maybe more so. He had been with Alice for decades. Edward and I had really only known each other nine or so months. But I loved him with all my heart. And when I think about never seeing him or touching him, my heart feels like it is going to burst through my chest.
"It was just the six of us "kids" hanging at school. I knew it was a dream because Rosalie was actually nice to me."
"Bella, you know Rose doesn't hate you. She was just scared for our family. She even told Edward he was stupid for leaving the way we did. It was all his idea you know. And not for the reasons he told you. He loved you Bella. More than anything else on this earth Bella, you were the reason for his existence. He wanted to keep you safe from what we are, what we could have done to you, what I could have done to you." Jasper hung his head in shame. He always wondered how things would have turned out if he hadn't tried to attack Bella.
"Jasper, just stop it. Stop blaming yourself. I fell in love with Edward, hell I fell in love with all of you. I wanted to be part of your family. I knew what I was doing hanging around a house full of vampires. You didn't hurt me Jasper. I know you could have, but you didn't. Edward was there and so were the rest. I know you took it hard and were beating yourself up about it. I also know you were the first one to leave"
"I felt ashamed Bella. I was supposed to protect you like a sister and I could have killed you. I had to leave, I had to get as far away from you as I could. I was going to come back after I calmed down but Edward took it the wrong way and said it would be best if I stayed gone and that the rest of them were going to follow. Once in Alaska Bella, everyone missed you. We knew you weren't doing well. Alice saw the visions of you not eating and staying in all the time and not going out with friends. After a year Rose and Emmett wanted to come back to Forks. Alice and I were going to come too. But Edward made us promise we wouldn't, that we would leave you be so you could move on and fall in love and marry and become a mom. He only wanted you to be happy Bella."
"Well who was he to decide what would make me happy?" I was standing now, pacing back and fourth in front of the sofa. "I would have been happy becoming part of his family, being his mate, his wife. He was too stubborn wanting a different future for me. He wanted me to have a "real relationship", get married, and have babies. But what he failed to realize is that it was my choice not his. And I wanted him." tears rolled down my cheeks as I clenched and unclenched my fists in anger. I was angry with Edward. I wanted to scream and hit and scream some more. My cell phone picked that exact moment to alert me to another text. I had forgotten about the first one and hadn't even read it. Then I realized I never let Jess and Angela know I made it to Forks. I looked at the table and before I could move forward, Jasper was standing in front of me, phone in hand.
"Thank you Jasper." he handed me my phone and went to leave and give me privacy. I reached out and placed my hand on his arm, "stay please. And Jasper, I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's Edward I want to yell at, not you."
He smiled and placed his strong, cold hand gently on top of mine. "That's what I'm here for Bella. I won't leave you again, not until you ask me to."
I smiled at him and sat back down pulling him with me. I flipped the phone open and read the first of the two new texts.
U haven't called us yet, getting worried. r u ok? 3 Jess'
I quickly responded...
Sorry Jess...been here a long time. I was really tired so I took a long nap. 3 Bells
I didn't think now was the time to tell her everything until I knew how to tell her. I mean I don't think 'hey Jess, Edward and Alice died and I'm hanging with Jasper', would go over too well. She replied quickly.
No problem Bells, just next time let us know. We were pretty frantic. Ttyl 3 Jess
After settling things with Jessica I read the other text I had received. It was from Jacob.
Hey Bells, Jessica called me wondering if you were here. She said you were in Forks. I didn't even know you were coming. Call me. Jake
I sighed. Damn if only I had called Jessica, now I have Jacob to deal with. I don't want to right now. I could feel my tension increase at the mere thought of having to explain everything to Jacob. As soon as I felt the tension start it then began to disappear. I looked over to Jasper and smile a thank you.
"That's what I'm here for Bella, that's why I'm here."