Disclaimer: sm owns all characters. Don't sue!

To readers of 'What if things were different?' don't worry it shall be finished. This is only a one-shot. 'What if things were different?' shall continue!

Enjoy the one-shot.

Review, they keep me happy! L and they save puppies! One of these statements is not true. Can you guess which one?

Men are like monkeys, they're forever fighting over their bananas.


'Mines bigger!' Emmett exclaimed!

'Well mine's tastier!' Jasper rebuked.

'How the hell would you know? Please tell me you've never tasted it, because that

would just be sick!' Emmett challenged.

'Of course I've never tasted it, but I just know!' Jasper replied smugly.

'Well, mine's softer! Bella said so.' Edward interjected.

'How would Bella know, she's never touched ours! Ours could be softer!' Emmet and Jasper disagreed simultaneously.

'I already thought of that, so I got Alice and Rosalie to touch it too. They both said it was softer than both of yours. They also said that touch is much more important than size or taste! So there!'

'Mine's better!' Emmett shouted.

'No, mine is!' Jasper screamed.

'No mine!' Edward said loudly.

Alice, Rosalie and I were crouched by the door, listening to their exchange, all the while trying not to burst out in laughter.

I shushed them so that we could hear the rest of what they were saying.

'Well,' Edward said confidently, 'I can prove that mine is the softest.'

'How,' Emmett asked suspiciously.

'Just feel mine, and then feel yours.' Edward replied. I heard a movement that I guessed was jasper and Emmett reaching over to feel Edward's banana. I heard a sigh of resignation as Jasper and Emmett accepted that Edward was the softest.

'Okay, maybe it is the softest.' Emmett conceded. 'But mines definitely the biggest!'

Edward and jasper took a moment to inspect Emmett's and decided that it was indeed the biggest.

'Well, that means mine's the tastiest then!' Jasper said victoriously.

'Well, I'm certainly not tasting it!' Edward said apprehensively.

'Hey, me neither!' Emmett exclaimed.

And then they started to argue all over again, about who would receive the honour of 'tastiest banana'. Seeing as how one were willing to taste the other's, so they had no clue as to who deserved the title.

We couldn't take it anymore and started to giggle uncontrollably. Of course, they heard us and the door was immediately wrenched open.

We looked up from where we lay in a giggling heap on the floor. The sight that met us simply fuelled our laughter. Standing there, glaring at us, were our husbands holding three identical bananas.

I guess what they say is true.

Men are like monkeys, they're forever fighting over their bananas!


Okay, I just got this idea and couldn't shake it. I had to write it down. I thought it was quite funny, tbh. But I have a quite dirty mind, so you may not agree. Anyway leave a review and let me know what you think!