This set of rules has been written from observation and influence of the acts and behaviors of the lieutenants of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. They shall be held as such, no matter the situation. They shall be followed at all times and updated when deemed necessary.

Disclaimer- I do not own Bleach, but I do own the random Lieutenant Shihoin that I put in here.


The Handbook of Central 46

1) Lieutenant Hisagi, we know you like the guitar that you found in the world of the living, but if you play that song again, we will confiscate it.

2) Lieutenant Kira, dressing in all black does not make you a ninja.

3) Lieutenant Abarai, threatening to pull a stick out of Captain Kuchiki's personal area is prohibited. If it's there, it's there for a reason.

4) Lieutenant Kotetsu, using Captain Unohana as a threat to control your Squad 11 patients is prohibited. Even if it does work.

5) Lieutenant Kira, we can still see you.

6) Lieutenant Matsumoto, bribing Captain Kyoraku with sake is prohibited at all times. Do you know how hard it is to get him to work?

7) Lieutenant Iba, disregarding Lieutenant Ise's orders will only provoke her wrath. And this time, we won't intervene.

8) Lieutenant Kusajishi, falsely alerting your captain of the substitute soul reaper Ichigo Kurosaki's presence is strictly prohibited. Your barracks were just repaired last week.

9) Exclaiming your sexual tendencies/preferences in the center courtyard is prohibited.

10) Under no circumstances, are any of the lieutenants of the 13 Court Guard Squads allowed in the center courtyard unclothed.

11) 'Boxers or Briefs?' is not an appropriate question during joint meetings.

12) Lieutenants Matsumoto and Shihoin, please stop referring to Captain Ukitake as your 'Sex God Ultimatum'.

13) Lieutenant Abarai, if you choose to walk around your barracks half naked, please wear pants. Your female subordinates have work to do.

14) Lieutenant Omeada, no one wants to date your sisters. Especially if they look like you.

15) Telling your subordinates that Captain Soi Fon is a transvestite will get you murdered.

16) Lieutenant Iba, you are not too sexy for your shirt. Please put it back on.

17) Neither are you Lieutenant Hisagi.

18) In no way, shape, or form is stripping deemed necessary interrogation tactics.

19) Telling your subordinates that Captain Komamura likes to be rubbed behind the ears is inappropriate.

20) Telling your subordinates that dressing in all black makes them ninjas is not allowed. Those rookies had just graduated from the academy.

21) The Stealth Force is not a group of rogue Naruto ninjas. Stop spreading that slander.

22) Lieutenant Kira, we can still see you.

23) Adding 'That's what she said' after every other sentence is prohibited. Even if that is what she said.

24) Lieutenant Shihoin, please do not distract Captain Kyoraku with pictures of Lieutenant Ise. It's hard enough to get him to do work as it is.

25) Spray painting, 'The fishsticks are coming' on Lieutenant Kotetsu's door is not funny. It makes her paranoid.

26) Senbonzakura should never, in any way, shape, or form, be used to cut hair. That was only a joke Hisagi.

27) Lieutenant Kotetsu, nobody's watching you.

28) Soul Reapers are not entitled to maternity leave.

29) Kicking enemies into large craters does not eradicate them, even if it is called the Pit of Death.

30) When asked a question, 'Deez Nuts' is not an appropriate response.


AN: Those lieutenants sure are busy, aren't they? Feedback would be appreciated. Thank you :)