Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, wish I did, But I don't.

Full Summary: After Mello calls Matt 'A Useless Dog' during a fight; Matt sets out to prove him wrong to wind up 1st at Wammys. Years later Mello seeks the help of an esteemed underground hacker and detective known only by the letter "J" to solve a string of grisly murders that have disturbing ties to Winchester and may spell destruction for Wammys. Angst, Sexual Situations, Slight Torture, MM, Yaoi.

EDITED 2/1/10 : So, I just finished writing the final story in this series (The Silent Place) and decided that I would rework/rewrite the first three fics just a bit to get rid of some of the issues I noticed. There is new content in places, but I generally just fixed things.

A real quickie, this is in general pov. But it does focus mainly on Matt and Mello.

Suggested Listening: 'This Love This Hate' by Hollywood Undead; Kissing You Goodbye by The Used (added 2/1/10)

Prologue: Worthless

Matt stormed into the room and slammed the door, something quite uncharacteristic of him. "I'll show you Mello! I'm not useless!" the red haired gamer bit his lip in frustration. The only thing he could really do to show his blonde haired best friend that he wasn't useless was to tie him in the upcoming language project.

It was his worst subject, as far as anyone knew, so it would be a feat for him to tie Mello.

Matt wasn't stupid, far from it in a house of genii, but he shouldn't have been third either. His mind was on a level above that of Mello or even Near, meaning that if he wanted to he would be first; not could but would. But that was not what he wanted. He wanted to live in Mello's shadow, to be his backup, to be his friend, his support.

However Matt knew that if he ever surpassed Mello, in any way, the blonde haired boy would never speak to him again in friendly terms; he would only see him as a rival. So from the day he decided he wanted the blonde's friendship he had dimmed his skills so that the only thing that kept him third were his technical skills.

Mello meant so much to him that he would do anything for him, anything. But that didn't mean he liked being called useless which was just as bad as worthless, and Matt had heard that too many times in his short life already.

With determination in his eyes Matt began to create a project that would tie Mello's own exactly. It wouldn't be difficult since he already knew how Mello's mind worked; he was brilliant but let his emotions ruin any chance of him being greater than second, and with his recent defeat to Near his project would suffer, so with this in mind Matt just had to match it. The project was due the next day and he hadn't even planned on doing something like this until earlier....

Mello snatched the gameboy from the redheads grasp with a furious scowl. "Are you even listening to me?" the irate chocoholic growled.

"Yes. Can I have my game back?" the blond snarled and threw it at Matt.

"That's all you ever pay attention to! No wonder you're only third. You are nothing but a useless dog; you could never be anything but third with a brain like yours! I don't know why I bother with you..." Mello threw his hands up in the air and stalked off down the hallway leaving Matt by himself.

...Matt didn't even hear Mello enter the room; he was working furiously trying to make sure he didn't go over what he predicted Mello's score to be. Mello looked thoughtfully at his friend but decided to leave him alone in favor of finishing his own project.

Matt ended up falling asleep with little over three pages left to write.


The morning sun glared painfully into his closed eyes making him wonder where exactly his goggles had gone to. Yawning, and stretching his arms skyward to relieve some tension, he looked wearily at the clock.

"Shit!" it was almost time for class and the project wasn't finished yet. If he didn't hurry he wouldn't even end up in third place. Scribbling down his thoughts for the last three pages or so, he added it to the five page stack and shoved it under the cover of his notebook before bolting out of his and Mello's shared room.

He had just made it to class on time to hand in the project that was to be graded. It was the last project of the week and the rankings would be posted the next day, Saturday. Sitting down next to Mello, Matt tried not to grin. Instead he pulled out his gameboy and paid little attention to the workings of the class.

"Matt, pay attention!" Mello punched him lightly in the arm for the third time, making him look up from the fifth level.

"You know I never fail anything. The teacher is just too boring..."

Mello rolled his eyes and secretly snapped off a piece of chocolate while the teacher wasn't looking. At least Mello was acting normal, Matt thought to himself. It was like he hadn't said any of those things the day before.

But he had, and Matt would never forget anything Mello told him. Sinking further into the chair he pressed the buttons of the game harder than needed. At least when everything was said and done Mello might treat him better than a dog, or so he silently hoped.

The day's classes passed quickly as well as all the rest of the time until it was late, later than Matt would usually stay up. But he just couldn't seem to sleep no matter what he did; something was nagging at his mind and wouldn't leave him alone.

It had been like that whenever he allowed himself to get distracted from his game, like an ominous little rain cloud. Had he forgotten something? It wasn't Mello's birthday, and there wasn't a test as the next day was a weekend, so what was it?

Matt sighed heavily and groaned softly into his pillow. It was going to drive him crazy until he figured it out, but right now he needed sleep. Especially since Mello liked to get up early and be the first person to look at the new rankings. With that horrible thought in mind, Matt hated early mornings, he tried to force himself to sleep.

He succeeded... nearly three hours later.


"Matt get your lazy butt up now!" Matt was awoken by Mello pushing him from the bed and onto the floor.

"Umph!" he had managed to land on his stomach and it was not the most pleasant of feelings.

"Matt hurry up! The new standings are probably already posted!" Mello was practically jumping from foot to foot as he waved around a chocolate bar.

"Just go, I'll meet you there in a minute..." Matt mumbled softly from his seated position. The blonde rolled his blue eyes and rushed from the room. Running on nearly two hours sleep left Matt feeling sluggish and yet he still managed to get dressed in under two minutes.

Heaving a sigh he took out his gameboy, the one Mello had gotten him years ago for Christmas, and headed out into the hallway to find Mello. The rankings would be posted just outside of the dining hall on a long white sheet of paper that spanned half the length of the wall vertically.

There was already a crowd of students and there were loud whispers and shocked looking faces. Curious, Matt wondered if Mello had gotten the top position. Oh how wrong he was.

He spotted Mello standing in front of the crowd with wide eyes; Near was beside him with a calculating expression.

"Hey Mello." Mello's back tensed and Matt immediately took that as a warning sign. Blue eyes turned to him, filled with anger and... hate? Mello brushed passed him without even a second glance. With a feeling of dread Matt pushed his way to the front.

"Congratulations Matt." Near told him while playing with his hair. Confused, Matt looked at the rankings. His gameboy fell to the floor with a thump.

"Oh no..." he whispered.

There, at the top of the list, was his name.

That wasn't supposed to happen! The project should have only added a few extra points, not nearly enough to beat Mello, and certainly not Near. Something had gone terribly awry. His eyes widened behind orange tinted goggles. He must have made a mistake in his rush to finish the paper! That was the only explanation.

Numbly retrieving the fallen handheld he nodded to Near and quietly left all the envious and surprised faces.

Swallowing thickly he quickly backtracked to his and Mello's room. The room looked like a tornado had hit it, books and papers were strewn across every available surface and furniture was upturned. Matt's eyes finally rested on Mello whose fist had just left a large crack in the wall.

"Mello?" the blonde turned to him, his eyes furious.

"Was this all just a game to you?! Did you secretly laugh every time I talked about beating Near when you were better than both of us? Did it make you feel superior to have deceived all of us?!" his body shook with every word that came from his mouth.

"No, none of that is true!" Matt yelled. "You are my best friend, I would never hurt you purposely."

"You already did. Number one, number fucking one! You know how long I've wanted to beat Near and yet all this time you were the one smarter than all of us, and you dare to call yourself my friend? How could you do that?!" tears formed in the corner of Mello's eyes, born out of frustration and the immense feeling of betrayal.

"Mello, I didn't want to be first, I never did. I just wanted to be your-" Mello's fist connected with Matt's cheek sending the redhead sprawling to the floor.

"Save it, I hate you! I can't deal with you anymore, in fact I'm asking Roger to move me to another room. I don't even care if it's with Near!" Mello shouted furiously, the tears finally falling. Grabbing a small amount of chocolate off his nightstand he stormed out of the room and left Matt on the floor.

Mello was... transferring rooms?

He hated him?

Mello hated him?

Matt's mouth opened and closed a few times as he took in deep shuddering breaths. His goggles fogged up and water filled his vision; ripping the goggles off his head he clutched them almost desperately in his hand.

"Oh god..." he had shown Mello he wasn't useless alright. He had fucking shown him that he was smarter than him! It had cost him his friendship, the one thing Matt valued most in his life. Mello was his one and only friend, he was the one person who would always talk to him even if he was angry. His chest hurt so much he almost thought he was having a heart attack. Or maybe it was truer that his heart was breaking in half and the pieces crumbling.

Nothing would be the same anymore. Mello would never again smile at him or offer to share his chocolate even though he knew Matt didn't like it; Mello would never stay up late and watch a movie with him even though there was a test the next day or complain to him about Near...

Mello would only stare at him with those cold eyes, those hurtful eyes. Matt wouldn't be able to stand it, to have his best friend hate him so much that he would rather room with his rival than be around him.

Matt struggled into a standing position and staggered over to his side of the room. Amidst all the chaos his nightstand had been left relatively untouched. Reaching behind it and to the side he pulled out a small black pouch. It held all the money he had been given and or collected over the years, starting even prior to Wammys.

Shutting his eyes tightly and willing the tears away he shoved the money into his jacket pocket. He knew there was no way to fix things now that Mello was decided; no amount of talking or shouting would change his mind. Matt wouldn't kill himself, but he couldn't stay either. He couldn't come back to an empty room everyday and know it was his fault.

And now that he had reached first, he knew the teachers and even L would suspect him of hiding his skills if he didn't stay first. His only option was to leave the only place he had ever called home. To leave Mello... his shoulders were shaking in effort to control his emotions.

He could hear the voices of the other children getting louder and louder; their excited voices grated on his ears. It was time to leave before anyone discovered him. Looking at the room Matt turned away; he would take nothing else with him, it would only slow him down.

"I'll leave so that you can be happy. I'm sorry Mello..." Matt whispered and disappeared into the hallways, going unnoticed like he always did.


Mello was mad, no he was furious.

Roger had just told him that even if he thought that Mello could honestly room with Near without killing him, he wouldn't allow him to change rooms since he saw no reason for it. Mello had shouted at him and slammed the door behind him; he felt nauseous.

His supposed best friend had been fooling him all these years and he had never noticed! His hands clenched into fists again but he resisted the urge to hit something.

He headed to the back doors and threw them open, intent on climbing one of the tall oak trees. His head was too messed up at the moment to deal with anyone else and he would be left in peace if he was up there. It was always a sign to leave him alone if he sought out a high place. He didn't even remember getting to the tree, never mind climbing halfway up.

Mello sat there and snapped chocolate until the sun was going down. He felt calmer but no less betrayed. He didn't know where he was going to sleep that night but it sure as hell wasn't going to be in that room.

He needed time, lots of time, away from Matt or he was going to hurt him. Pulling at his hair with a growl Mello made his way inside and was on his way to the common room when Roger stopped him. "Mello, have you seen Matt?"

"No." he snarled. "After today I hope I never see him again!" he ignored the older man and took off down the hallway in an angry daze, all his time spent calming down was thrown out the window just like that.

Deciding that being around anyone anytime soon was a very bad idea; Mello instead went to the library and found a corner in the very back of the room to settle down in.

Although he was hungry he would not be able to deal with all of the stares and whispers at the moment. With the quiet and relaxing atmosphere of the library he eventually fell asleep curled against a bookshelf.


Blue eyes fluttered open and a low groan echoed throughout the silent room. Sleeping against a bookshelf was not a good idea unless one liked getting stiff necks... backs... bodies. Wincing as he stood, Mello stretched carefully to ease the tension in his joints.

"Stupid library..." he glared at the books as though expecting them to apologize for not being as soft as his bed. At the thought of his bed he was reminded of the fact that he needed to change, and in order to do that he needed to go back to the room.

And Matt.


With a tired sigh, much too tired to be aggravated yet, he left the library. On the way there he was stopped by Roger and a few relieved looking teachers.

"Mello, where have you been? You weren't in your room." Mello narrowed his eyes.

"I was in the library. And I told you I refuse to room with him anymore." the teachers turned to look at each other, worry in their eyes.

"So you don't know where Matt is?" Mello shook his head, confused. "Keep asking, maybe someone has seen him." Roger told the others. They dismissed him now that he had been found in perfect health, all aches aside. Not able to gain Roger's attention before he left again, Mello wasn't able to find out anything.

With a now irritated sigh he sought out Linda, the holder of all things gossip. She was annoying but she would know what was going on. Spotting her amidst a small group of other girls he roughly dragged her a few feet away.

"Hey, Mello that hurt!" the blonde rolled his eyes at her whinny yell.

"Why is everyone looking for Matt?" the name rolled off his tongue distastefully. Linda's brown eyes widened.

"You mean you don't' know?" she gasped. "He hasn't been seen since yesterday morning. And everyone is worried. You haven't seen him have you?" Linda's worried eyes questioned him.

Feeling a small twinge in his chest Mello shook his head. No one had seen Matt since their fight.

Reaching their room he found it in exactly the same state as it had been left in, a giant mess. Going over to Matt's nightstand Mello reached behind it, and once he found the pouch he would go find Matt and beat the crap put of him for causing problems.

But he didn't find it.

"He wouldn't!" Mello forced the nightstand away from the wall and let it wobble before crashing to the ground. The sound had alerted a few nearby people who went to investigate.

"What happened?" someone questioned.

Mello stared at the empty spot where the pouch should have been. Matt had said that the only reason it would ever be removed was if he was adding to it, or... he left. Though he had stated that he would leave when his best friend did.


Mello knew he should be happy about this, but all he could feel was pain. "Matt's gone... he left Wammys." and Mello knew without a doubt that it was because of him.

The person gasped and ran from the room leaving Mello to stare blankly at the empty space before him.

-End Worthless-

AN: I'm sure people have already notices the small changes I placed in here as I edited it.... which includes the summary as well as me getting rid of the old AN's. *shrug*

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