The Most Unoriginal Story Ever (Starring Mario, the world's only rabbit rabbit - err, I mean, the world's greatest adventerous plumber!)

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Disclaimer: I don't even exist. Why else do you think I keep appearing and disappearing? (commits suicide)


R.I.P. Disclaimer

(July 19, 2005 - August 16, 2009)


It was a calm and quiet, peaceful day in the Mushroom Kingdom...

"Come on!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!!"

"I promise I won't-"

"For the last time, No!!!"

Well, at least is was calm and quiet.

"How about a-"

"No!!!!"

"Just one little-"

"NO!!!!!"

"Fine, you big jerk!"

It was then that Toadette, crying as tears came flowing down her eyes, pushed Mario into the dirty mud pile and headed straight to her house, to be comforted by Toad, while Mario had to deal with the pigs that were sniffing all over him.

"And to think, all she wanted was a new Yoshi for her to ride on," Mario sighed as he shook his head, getting up from the mud and pulling out a white towel to clean himself with, "Doesn't she know that Yoshis are forbiddened to be rode in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"BUT NOT ON YOSHI'S ISLAND, LOLOLOLOLOLOL," Interrupted Luigi, who began to do a little tap and dance.

Mario face palmed himself as he grabbed Luigi and chucked him into the Angry Sun, watching as Luigi screamed girlishly, which amazingly was enough to cause the Angry Sun to explode. Shaking his head, Mario started towards the western direction to head back to his home, only to randomly trip.

And land right on his face.

In a spiky ball.

"SAKURAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

A random blue-and-brown cow, who just so happened to have been watching Mario nearby, blinked as he had no idea what happened. Mario glanced to his right, to spot the cow.

"...Help...me..." He moaned in pain as his body was twitching rather badly.

The cow took one look and left.

"...THANKS FOR NOTHING." With that, the red-capped Italian American plumber collasped, his body remaining in twitches.


Several PAINFUL minutes later...

"All right, Bowser! Here I come!" Mario screamed as he launched himself towards the King of the Koopas,l his fist turning red as fire charged up within.

Bowser rolled his eyes as he sidestepped to the right, watching Mario break through the stain glass window and tumble several feet below... into sharp pointed rocks. Bowser laughed, folding his arms with victorious pride as he listened to Mario scream in pain.

"How is it down there, faucet breath?" Bowser chuckled as he grabbed some popcorn and began munching on it, watching Mario losing life after life as he got continuous Game Overs.


Mario was later in his bed, sleeping off the day's end after being handed to himself by Bowser yet again. For the nine thousandth and sixty fourth time.

You'd think he'd be tired of it by now.

"Mmmm... toast..." The red-capped idiot muttered as he licked his lips together, knowing that yet another pointless fanfic staring him and only him was already in the progress. As the sun shone brightly outside, thunder boomed, and white lightning zapped the house, electrocuting Mario as he was sleeping in his bed, which was made of wood.

As Mario bursted out of his house and began running around, screaming in pain, Fled Frintstone, the yellow colored Toad that no one cares about because he is a generic piece of crap ripoff of an actual good character, was coming along, and spotted the red plumber. Tossing a bucket at Mario, he watched as Mario fell to the floor unconscious.

"Whoops," Fled stupidly muttered as he ran towards Mario, picking him up, "Hey, are you okay?"

Mario moaned weakly as he slowly opened his eyes, looking up at Fled. "G...G...Gay Luigi...?" He gasped as he then pushed Fled to the right and started barfing toast, gasping as he then collapsed on the ground.

Fled's jaw dropped, and watched as Waluigi appeared out of nowhere and started stomping the crap out of Mario, laughing cackilly as he glared at Fled and tossed his tennis racket at the watching yellow Toad.

"Wa ha ha ha! It's Waluigi Time!" Waluigi clamored as he picked up Mario and tossed him towards the western direction, before taking out a sniper and firing at the wooden house, shooting it down into pieces of lumber. He then took out a lighter and lit a cigarette, blowing smoke as he ran towards the Mushoom Kingdom, where he shot the innocent citizens of the city.

Fled moaned weakly as he shook his head. He was unable to get up. Toad, who was coming back from a strip club Donkey Kong dragged him to earlier, passed by, looking at the wounded Fled, and then at the remains of Mario's house. Gasping, Toad screamed as he headed back the way he came, leaving the weak Fled to be fed on by Murkrows.

Mario moaned in pain as he slowly opened his eyes, only to be greeted...

By a smash to the face.

From a tennis racket.

"NOOOOOO!!!!" WHACK!!!


After being sent plummeting in the air by Waluigi and his jackassery, Mario landed within the adjacent Peanut Plains, where he met several humanoid peanut creatures. Sadly, they were of a rare race despite the name of the plains being peanut themed, and Mario just so happened to eat all of them. He didn't, however, expect that Mouser, the bomb-tossing mouse, was ruler of the said plains, and thus, Mario was forced to retreat into the adjacent Woody Woods to avoid being attacked by the army of Mini Mousers.

Upon entering the deep interior of the Woody Woods, Mario was trying to find an exit. Luckily, he spotted a green-colored warp pipe, and he went down to it, exitting on the other side...

...which was a green, grassy tennis court, inside the Peach Dome, in the middle of a bright, sunny afternoon, no less.

"Wahahaha!" Waluigi laughed as he pointed at Mario with his purple colored tennis racket, "I'm-a gonna wipe the floor with you!"

Bowser, who just so happened to be Waluigi's partner for the time being, also laughed as he proudly held his green-orange tennis racket, grinning as a sly crocodile would. "Gwa ha ha! You think YOU could beat US, plumber boy?" He chortled as both he and Waluigi began laughing sinisterly in unison.

Mario gulped as he took a few steps back. He began sweating nervously.

"Mamma mia! How am I gonna counter this!?" He exclaimed as he tried to think.

Suddenly, the whole stadium began shaking for several minutes, and then stopped. Mario, Bowser, Waluigi, and the entire audience looked around to see what caused the earthquake, until they heard a high-pitched cry that would shatter the speed of light.

"HI, I'M DAISY!!!!!" Daisy screamed with joy as she randomly popped out of thin air, appearing next to Mario.

"What...the...hell...?" Mario muttered, confused as he scratched his red cap profoundly.

"Daisy!" said Daisy.

The entire stadium was quiet as they glanced down at the spunky, tomboy princess.

"Daisy!" said Daisy.

The entire audience remained quiet.

"Daisy!" said Daisy.

The entire audience remained quiet.

"Daisy!" said Daisy.

The entire audience remained quiet.

Daisy farted.

"...All right, she'll be on my team," Mario sighed as he grabbed Daisy by the waist and dragged her alongside him, getting out a red tennis racket for himself and handing Daisy an orange-yellow racket as the double tennis match began.


Mario was trying his best to get out of the green-colored warp pipe he had travelled down earlier, but it turned out not to be his best venture. After beating up both Bowser and Waluigi in a 2-on-2 match alongside Daisy, who collapsed on the court shortly afterwards due to her imfamously bad gas, the red-capped Italian American plumber was ready to rest. But he had a hard time exiting the warp pipe, and you'd think that after all these years, he would be able to fit out quite easily.

"Mamma mia, who just waxed this stupid pipe!?" Mario shouted angrily as he continued to struggle.

Nearby on a sandy hill, Dry Bones is eating a chocolate ice cream cone, chuckling to himself as he pushes behind some paint cans, of which he looks on at Mario from the eastern direction, watching the poor plumber being unsuccessful.

"Won't anyone help-a me?" Mario sighed as he folded his arms, frowning as he then saw Falco Lombardi coming by. He grabbed Falco, screaming, "FALCO, GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

Whack! Falco pimp slapped Mario back, waging his right index finger at the plumber. "Don't try me," The humanoid blue Falcon remarked as he headed towards a random desk, exclaiming with joy, 'PILLS HERE!"

Mario's eyes twitched as he continued screaming, pleading with all his heart, "But Falco, you're my best buddy! You just can't go and leave me like t-"

"First come, first serve," proclaimed Falco, stealing the antidote. He then looked both ways with his shifty eyes, and then rolled out. In a landmaster.

That was colored blue.

"Piece of cake," Falco chuckled as he placed the antidote in his right pocket and got out some bread, munching down on it as he left Mario behind.

Mario remained in his troubled state, disgruntled.

"This is just not my day," Mario mumbled as he then suddenly fell off a nearby cliff, falling for hours.

Nothing was below him, but boiling lava! Good thing he found a magic balloon!

POOF! In an instant, the red-capped Italian began floating downwards towards the lava with relative ease. He then made crushing rocks seem such a breeze as he instantly broke the rocks that were in his path, before deforming back into his normal form, falling straight into the lava. Mario screamed as he headed downward faster and faster, muttering to himself,

"I may not make, I probably will die, but at least I was... ONE HELL OF A GUY. HUH!!!!!"

And the rest... is history.


GAME OVER