AUTHOR: losingntrnslatn (LosingInTranslation, Jennifer)
DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it from time to time. Dance Monkeys! Dance!
RATING: T - Teen
SPOILERS: Through US Aired Episodes of Season 4 – Post Ep for 4X24
WORD COUNT: 1003
SUMMARY: J.J. has a lot to think about after a major anthrax exposure with the public.
A/N: This is a Post-Ep for "Amplification." It's also an answer fic for why I think J.J. & Will really work as a couple. If it's not your thing, I hope you at least enjoy the writing.
REVIEWS: Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time to read.
Driving home, all Jennifer can think about is how incredibly precious life really is, and just how fast it can all be taken away. In her work, she is reminded of this fact every single day, but never as powerfully as it has been demonstrated to her today.
Knowing that the entire country could have been put at risk by a single person's actions was frightening by itself. To also know that her family, her child, was at ground zero for this attack on humanity was a humbling experience, to say the least. The only thing that gave her comfort in the face of such destruction was knowing that she had a small part in protecting everyone from not only that kind of devastation, but from even possessing that terrifying bit of knowledge.
Turning off the highway, she feels the weight beginning to lift from her heart. In a few short minutes her arms will be filled with a sleepy, warm and safe baby Henry. Everything she does, everything she endures has new meaning since the arrival of that precious giggling mass of arms and legs and smiles.
She had heard from countless people about how much parenthood changed their lives, but she always attributed it to hyperbole. That was, until she had Henry in her arms. Now she has to fight the urge to spend all of her time talking about the second man to completely change her life.
As she pulls into her neighborhood, Jennifer thinks about Will. She never wanted it, never wanted to go down the same road as her mother, but sometimes life has other ideas. Will represents everything she was sure she never wanted. He is old fashioned, and devoted, and committed. He is everything she never knew she needed.
Will reminds her that she is more than a mouthpiece, that she has value as a human being. But most of all, he reminds her that she is a woman; a beautiful, caring and valuable woman. He is always the one to make the first move, to concede, to give in when it means making her happy and providing for their family.
As much as she fought against the very idea of him from the very start, she is eternally grateful that life had other ideas, because she thanks God every day for him. Will understands her; sometimes better than she does herself. He gives her space when she needs it, but he also knows when to stand up to her demands. Will is much more than the father of her child and a lover, he is her equal and he is her partner in life. He accepts her completely, warts and all, and loves her all the more for it.
Finally reaching the driveway, Jennifer slowly backs the car in and another thought drifts into focus. She remembers walking to Hotch's door and hearing his desperate phone call to his son. While it was good to see the man embracing his own humanity, the more she thinks about his call the sadder it makes her.
Hotch is a man who deals with all the pain and evil in the world, and has to do it with a stern face and a hardened heart. He has to be the cement that keeps their team together, and he does so at the expense of everything else in his life. And at the expense of everyone in his life.
It makes her heartsick to think of anyone subjecting themselves to such an empty life. And it makes her even more grateful for the men waiting for her inside their little house as the porch light flickers to life when she turns the engine off.
Hotch let the job get in the way of his marriage, in the way of his relationship with his son. Sure, his wife should have understood who she was marrying to begin with, but Jennifer has to wonder if Hotch was as clueless about the personal side of his own life as he seems to be with the team.
Gideon, with all his arrogance and appearance of detachment knew more about the personal lives of the team than Hotch could ever grasp. He understood Spencer's crush on her, her girlish crush on Hotch, Elle's problems with authority, the weird dynamic between Morgan and Garcia, Spencer's drug problem after the abduction, and even his own breaking point. Losing Gideon was hard, but Jennifer still respects the way he handled his exit from the team.
Hotch, on the other hand, is so oblivious to the human element he is surprised at every turn when the team does something outside his direct view. He can't see Morgan's struggle to find meaning in his life, or Prentiss desperately looking for her place in the team, or even Rossi trying to find his place with Prentiss. But the worst of it centered on her. She still remembers the look of shock, the betrayal on his face when she told him she was pregnant. It wasn't the way she wanted to tell the team, but once again, Will came in at just the right time to remind her about her humanity.
Everyone, excluding Hotch, was thrilled about the announcement, but watching that façade of calm fall on his face after he got over the shock made her very sad. She tried to explain it to him when he walked away, but she quickly regretted it. His feelings of betrayal came through as he tried to shrug off her concerns, and what she saw that night continues to color her dealings with the man.
But none of that matters tonight. Not when her two men are happy, safe and standing on the porch anxiously waiting for her to come in. Will's smile is bright enough to out shine the porch light, and he is waving Henry's pudgy little arm at her as he bounces up and down in his Daddy's arms. Mommy is home with her guys, and that's what really matters.