StephenieMeyer: The author of this story would like to tell you something won't you *glares at me*

Me: I like cheese :D

SM: *glares*

Me: So everything I write in this story is mine :D

SM: *glares* I WILL slap you

Me: Okay FINE, I don't own anything in this chapter….yet

SM: Yet *eye roll* And what else?

Me: I don't own Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner or any of the Twilight cast. No matter how obsessed I am or how many posters I have!

SM: Well done, now that wasn't hard was it?

Me: Yes it *beep*ing was!


So literally this is my sequel from my other story Prank Calls. You don't really have to read my previous story to understand I shall fill you in if you haven't read my other story Prank Calls.

So literally when Bella, Emmett, Edward and Alice are away they Prank call random twilight characters. People find out and they all form teams and they prank for about 10 chapters. So this is just following up. It turns into a massive Prank War. Hence this story. Some things in this story might refer back to the previous story. I shall tell you.

Hello to my new readers!

Chapter 1

"I DECLARE A PRANK WAR!" Emmett declared. Everyone looked at him confused.

"What the bunny rabbits is a prank war?!" Mike asked. Emmett gasped.

Oh My Giddy God Emmett

"WAY TO RUIN THE MOMENT MIKE!" Emmett shouted. Mike flinched back.

"Ummm, sorry Emmett," Mike apologised.

"Sir Emmett to you!" Emmett shouted in Mike's face, "AS I WAS SAYING. WAY TO RUIN A MOMENT MIKE! Here I was thinking we could go straight into pranks. BUT NOOO, you being the dumbass you are doesn't know what a Prank War is!" Emmett shouted. Jessica then put her hand up, blushing,

"I would be another one of dumbasses," She admitted. Emmett sighed deeply.

"OH MY BANANAS elevate your hand if you are also another dumbass!" Emmett demanded.

OMG did he just say Oh my bananas? He is soo gay Alice

Oh my bananas! He so nicked my phrase! Mike

Literally everyone raised their hand. Emmett rolled his eyes,

"Jeez my knees. Wait Jasper why is your hand up, you know what a prank war is!" Emmett said. Jasper looked around, he then put his hand down

"Sorry, I thought I was for dumbasses in general," Jasper said. [A/N: no offence Jasper fans ILOVEJASPER!] Alice walked over to Jasper.

"Don't worry Jazzsquare you may be a dumbass, but you are MY dumbass," Alice said, comfortingly.

Because THAT cheers me up. Maybe this is a prank. Well she doesn't know that I know. Jasper

Jasper grabbed Alice's hand.

Look at her innocence, she knows I know, but she doesn't know I know she knows! Jasper

I decided to block out his thoughts, he was giving me a imaginary Vampire headache. Alice looked at him.

"WHERE IS THE PAINT?!" Jasper demanded. "DON'T PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME ALICE FELULAH CULLEN!" Jasper shouted. Alice looked at him.

"That's not my middle name," Alice pointed out. Jasper slit his eyes.


"Well I think it is! Due to the fact you could be introducing me as Alice Felulah Cullen!" Alice argued. Jasper rolled his eyes.

"So do I get to explain the definition of the Prank War?" Emmett asked. "Then you can get back at jasper okay Alice," Emmett pointed out. Everyone nodded, and stared at Emmett.

Oh my pippi longstockings! Everyone's eyes is staring at me Emmett

"Well, so the Prank War will have a couple of rules, and to explain. A prank War is literally where there is teams and you just randomly prank other teams. Everyone successful prank you get one point for your team. Simple" Emmett explained.

I shall now try to keep it in my little brain Mike

"Okay so what are the te--" Aro began to ask. Emmett interrupted.

"SO THE RULES ARE!" He shouted.

Man he interrupted Aro, dayumm he got balls! Jasper

I Love Bella. Isn't she just beautiful Jacob I silently growled at Jacob. He looked at me and smiled get out my brain then leech! Jacob

I ignored him and continued to listen to Emmett. Emmett reached in his pocket and got a piece of paper out his pocket. It was covered in chocolate stains.

"Wow, Emmett looks like you have been planning this," Mike said.

"Sometimes it good to be prepared!" Eric weeped.

Like it would have been when Bella ripped my heart to shreds, stamped on it and ate it. But that was in the past. We could still be friends. WHO AM I KIDDING! She's a WHORE. Eric

I laughed quietly. Bella chose me, I still can't believe it! I started doing my happy dance. Everyone looked at me.

"Edward what the hell?" Renee asked, everyone turned to look at me.

"Umm, sorry, I had beetles in my pants." I said. I think that was the human saying. Everyone looked at me. Well I guess it's not.

"Anyway, forgetting Edward's retarded dance, the reason it is covered in that brown stuff, is because I fell." Emmett said,

Funny how no one asked Renee

I wonder what would be a better to kill Edward with. A gun, or a crowbar. I think a crowbar will take longer, so it will be more pleasurable Charlie

"In chocolate?" I joked. Emmett looked down.

"Maybe." Emmett said. "So back to the rules, here is a leaflet containing them, I have one for everyone. Here," Emmett said, walking around handing them out. I looked at the one he gave me, it was an A3 piece of paper on it was written the following rules:


No Killing ANYONE. Unless they are really annoying. If you kill theses following people, by 'slipping' on the trigger of a paintball machine or, throwing a laughing gas grenade. Or anything, that would be fine:





Extra points will be awarded if these people are killed. Save me a job.


No mean comments. Only if directed at certain people (coincidently the people above).


There will be only 1 REAL gun per team. Only to be shot, or used at certain people (funnily enough the same as above). If named Bella, you can not touch, look at or smell the guns, as you can easily kill someone with your clumsiness. Only the following people can have two REAL guns:

Emmett (Me)


If pranking your 'other half' you may not show any remorse. Apart from Rosalie for me, because I know you love me RoseyPoo. If you are sad enough not to have a Sex Buddy, or girlfriend/boyfriend like





Aro (love you :D please don't kill me!)


Who will probably NEVER be getting some :)

I looked up to see if everyone else had read theirs. Everyone's eyes soon lifted to stare at Emmett.

"Any complaints?" Emmett asked innocently.

"Oh. I have one! Let's start with why I am an option to be shot?" Mike asked. Everyone looked at him.

"Mike, have you met yourself?! I mean you aren't the most likable person," Bella said

Well that hurt more coming from Bella Mike

"Emmett this leaflet thing is utter doggy's poop!" Jacob said. Everyone agreed. Emmett crawled up in a ball and rocked himself making crying sound effects. He started muttering to himself.

"Don't worry Emmett, them 7 hours put towards the leaflet was worth it don't worry. They are just jealous. It will all be fine. Close your eyes, and think happy thoughts," He chanted. Everyone was looking at him. Rosalie bent down to him.

"Emmett, get up. You are seriously losing your Man points." Emmett immediately stopped and jumped up.

Wow, I should do some press ups or something to gain some Man points. Or better yet kill someone Emmett

I stared at Emmett

I mean- that would be wrong. Emmett

"Emmett, dude, it took you 7 hours to make this piece of--" Charlie started. Emmett interrupted him

"LEAFLET IT'S A LEAFLET! And yes it took me 7 hours…and a half, but to be fair it took me 6 hours to think of a appropriate title!" Emmett argued. Everyone turned to the front page, to look at the title.


"Oh, you have to be kidding me!" Eric said rolling his eyes. Emmett looked down.

"At the time, it seemed good!" Emmett argued. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"Okay, can we please sort out the teams. And Emmett stop crying," I said.

"I'm sorry it's just it's so upsetting when people are mean. It hurts me emotionally!" He whined.

"SOOO, moving on, what shall the teams be?" Bella asked.

" I KNOW, Me and Bella against everyone else!" Mike shouted. "COULD THERE BE ANY BETTER TEAMS?!" Mike shouted, unnecessarily loud.

"COULD YOU SHOUT ANY LOUDER!" I mocked. Mike nodded,

"WHY YES I CAN!" He shouted back. Everyone plugged their ears.

"Because that was neccasary," Bella said sarcastically.

"I was just showing you how much of a man I am Bella." Mike said. Bella laughed, to my relief.

"Mike come on, your mum still calls you every few hours, to check on you!" Bella said.

"THAT IS A LIE!" His phone began to ring.

Mike Mike's mum

Hey Michael Poops

Mummy! I am busy! Mike whined.

Michael! You are never busy to talk to your mummy!

But Muuum! I need to go, sorry bye!


Mum, I am trying to impress this girl

Is it that whore? I growled silently

No mum! That's Jessica. Jessica walked up and slapped Mike.

Oh Michael what was that noise? Have you got a booboo?

No mum! Jessica just high fived my face…hard

Are you bleeding? Do you want a sticker, which one. Barbie, Thomas the tank engine, the Tweenies?

No mum, I have outgrown them *whispers* Barbie ones please.

*hang up*

"So umm, that was my gym instructor, he was wondering why I wasn't doing my daily 6 hour routine" Mike lied.

"Okay Mike," I said sarcastically.

She better not confuse Barbie with the person from High School Musical Mike

"So let's get back on track and sort out the teams," Eric said.

"Shut up gay boy! [A/N: nothing against Gays] I think we should sort out the teams!" Emmett declared.

"What?! That's what I sa--" Eric started.

"SHUT UP," Emett interrupted.

"Pleasure sir," Eric said,

"So any ideas for teams?" Emmett asked, "Actually I have one! Me, Bella, Edward, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Aro, Renee, Charlie, Mr Banner, Jessica and Lauren against Paul, Jacob, Eric and Mike," Emmett declared. Everyone laughed.

"No seriously, what should the teams be?" Alice asked.

"Let's pick out of a hat," Emmett suggested.

Cleverest thing I have ever heard him say Alice

Emmett wrote all the names down and started reaching in the hat.

"First person on my team is Jacob." He declared. "WHAT THE CHICKEN NUGGETS?! THE HAT IS CHEATING. I am NOT being paired up with him!" Emmett demanded.

"Emmett, it's a hat, that YOU are pulling out of, how can it cheat?" Mike asked.

"It's the person that wrote the names! I accuse that person!" Emmett said.

"Emmett, you wrote them down."

"SCREW YOU GUYS!" Emmett said.


"So is everyone happy with their teams?" Emmett asked.

"NOO," most people shouted.

"Good, when I blast this gun, we shall begin," Emmett said. He reached into the air and blasted the gun. Everyone was about to start running. When a plop was heard. Everyone looked down to see what had made the door. There was a bird, dead. [A/N: sorry bird lovers!] Emmett bent down and prodded the bird.

"It might be still alive," Mike said,

"What the flip? It's dead, kaput, gone, lifeless, DEAD!" Rosalie said. Carlisle rushed through.

"Make way. I am a doctor!" He walked to the bird. "Yup, it's dead." Carlisle confirmed.

"I feel like we need a funeral or something," Emmett said. Everyone nodded.

"We are here to celebrate the life of the bird, Princess Consuela Banana Hammock." Emmett said. Everyone gave him looks.

"This isn't a good idea, let's just get this thing done." I said. Emmett nodded and kicked the bird out the room [A/N: I know it's mean :(] Emmett raised the gun to the air and shot again. Everyone looked at each other.

"that means GO!" Emmett shouted

it will ve random teams. Review and tell me what you want the teams to be! Teams will be revealed in the next chapter! How you like? Kinda long :D

Good idea for the sequel? Tell me what you think?


15 reviews? Let's do it!