AN: Hey look, I finally updated! I know, I'm the worst author ever... Sorry about the horrible wait, and I totally understand if I've lost some readers. I hope you all can forgive me and read the chapter. I hope you guys enjoy!
I could feel my blood pumping in my veins, the cold air was covering me like a blanket as I stood outside in the Cullen's backyard. The air around me helped me calmed down as I stared at the black sky that was only filled with a couple stars. It was just about to be dawn and the fight would be happening in about thirteen hours. My body could feel the pressure and adrenaline of the upcoming fight and it was pulsing with anticipation.
Sam had cooled down since our fight and so had I. Things were tense inside the house and I knew it was because of me. I had a way of messing up the lives around me. I couldn't help that I was a complete fuck up, I didn't want to be the person I was but I also couldn't help it, it was in my blood.
A presence had come up to me and I didn't move to show that I knew of someone coming. I was surprised when I heard the velvet voice, "I know what you're thinking and it's not true."
I sighed and blew out a breath to see the cold around me, "I thought you couldn't read my mind," I said as I continued to gaze out at the stars.
"I may not know how to read your mind but I do know you…" Edward walked around to look at me and I couldn't help but to look back at him as his hazel eyes stared down at me. "You may think you've changed, but you'll always be my Bella."
His hand reached out for my face but I pulled back sharply, "Whatever you think you know about me is wrong, Edward. The sooner you figure that out that faster you can get on with what you call a life."
Edward's hand dropped like he had been electrocuted, "You're wrong, Bella. I do know you."
I shook my head and turned around to look back at the house, "You need to leave me alone."
"Why?" he asked, "Is it that Dean guy? Do you love him like you love me?" his voice was getting stronger with every word.
"Loved you, past tense, Edward," I replied quietly, but my words were like ice and before I could even comprehend I was twisted around to face him.
Edward's face was furious, his eyes were almost black as he glared down at me, his hands on my arms were stone as they clutched onto my skin, "I don't believe you. He can't kiss you like I kissed you. He can't love you like I love you, present tense, Bella." Edward leaned in and I closed my eyes in anticipation for what he was about to do.
Just as I felt Edward's unnecessary breath on my lips my eyes snapped open and I pushed with all my might against his body. Edward practically fell over from the amount of force I put into the push. "What the hell is the matter with you?" I screamed.
Edward fell down to the ground and clutched his hair out of what seemed like frustration, "I'm sorry," he barely whispered.
Before he could even move to get up I started to rant, "You can't do this! You can't just do this!"
"I'm sorry Bella, you don't what these past six years did to me," he whispered.
As soon as he relayed this piece of sweet information to me I lost it, "I don't know what these past six years did to you?" I screamed. "Fuck you, Edward. You're the one that left me. I didn't do anything to you or your family to deserve what you did to me, I just fucking bled like a normal human being. And because I am human I get my boyfriend taken away from me! Not only that I get to watch as the two people I would never have known if it weren't for you and your Holier than thou family rip apart my father right in front of me! I don't know what the hell you've gone through?" By this point I was kicking at his limp body and punching at anything I could get my hands on. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to see him hurt; I wanted him to hurt like I did. He deserved it.
Hands clenched down on my wrists and I was turned around abruptly, my eyes were clenched shut as were my teeth. My head was killing me and my heart was thumping like crazy. When I opened my eyes I saw Bobby looking down at me with so much pity and worry I felt like I was going to be physically sick. My hands were shaking and my lungs were hurting from how crazy I was gasping for air. I needed to get away from this at this exact moment. I pushed away from him with as much force as I had in my shaky limbs and ran straight for the woods behind the house.
With the strain on my muscles and on my lungs I was able to concentrate on my breaths instead of what I had just done. I ran as far as I could and as fast as my limbs could take. The woods weren't as thick as they had been in Forks so I reached a back road before I knew it. When my foot hit the pavement I finally stopped running and tried to catch my breath for the first time.
My mind was racing and I was trying to find some kind of resistance to my impending thoughts. I couldn't believe I had lost it like that. I was so sure that something like that wasn't going to happen. Even during our fight before we were interrupted I had full control over what I was doing. I didn't even think for a second I would lose it like that. That one sentence from Edward though just almost killed every last string of sanity I had.
I fisted my hands in my hair and screamed as loud as I could and then turned around and punched into some random tree. The sound of crack hit me full force and I wasn't so sure if it was the tree or one of my knuckles. My hand throbbed but my mind was so far away that I couldn't even concentrate on the pain. Instead of checking out of my hand like any sane person would do I continued to beat up on the tree with my knees, my feet, and my hand fists. The only downfall to using a tree as your punching bag was that after a while that adrenaline starts wear off and you start feeling the pain in your body.
I slumped down against the bark and fisted my hands in my hair after my body gave out. I sat there for who knows how long just stewing in my self-hate. I wanted to end the agony, I wanted to stop hurting others around me and I knew that's what I had been doing. I had been hurting Dean, Bobby, and Sam before I had even seen the Cullen's again. Now, I had them to add to my list.
Maybe this is why Edward left me to begin with; maybe it wasn't because of what happened at my eighteenth birthday that had ended us, maybe it was because he saw the trouble that I was going to cause and didn't think it was worth it. I didn't even think it was worth it. I wasn't worth the trouble.
When I finally looked up I saw that the sun was fully out, meaning that I had been gone for at least three hours. Slowly, I started to make my way back into the woods and back to the Cullen's house. My mind was still in a weird place and I didn't want to go back to the Cullen's house, but I knew I had to face the music eventually and my drama wasn't going to interrupt tonight. On the way back to the house I took in my surroundings that I missed through my run the first time. It wasn't as beautiful as Forks had been. I shook my head at that last thought. I used to hate the green of Forks and now I was comforted by it. The lush trees that surrounded me was a reminder of happier days, days that I used to read on Charlie's boat before I knew anything about monster's besides the ones that were in the books. I missed those days.
I held onto a branch as I stepped over a log and fell when it snapped under my weight. My body went to the ground with a loud thump, I didn't know if it was out of exhaustion or if I was just trying to take as much time as I could, but I couldn't get up. I sat back up against the log as I felt the mud and water started to seep into my clothes. My mind was taken back to what I feared most in my life, my father.
Five and a half years ago…
I couldn't see anything. Why couldn't I see anything? I could taste something metallic on my tongue but I wasn't sure what it was. The smell in surrounding area that I was in smelt of sweat and something else… It smelt like blood. The urge to throw up was strong but I tried to concentrate on everything but what could be making that smell. I didn't think it was coming from me because I could barely feel anything except for the strain on my arms as they were held above my head.
The last thing that I remembered happening was going to sleep after another day at Forks High School, how I had gotten here I had no idea. I felt red hot pain on my face just as my head was snapped up, "Looks like the bitch decided to finally wake up," a male voice said through clenched teeth.
"Take off the blindfold, Laurent," an icy feminine voice enjoined. There was hardly any light in the dusty atmosphere but I was able to take in Laurent and Victoria's stature. I mentally cursed Edward for leaving me to fend for myself, but then immediately started praying that he would come and save me before they were successful in whatever plan they had. "You'll never believe who we found sniffing around…" Victoria said with venom laced through her voice.
My heart rate started increase and I knew they heard it because Victoria grinned as Laurent moved towards the only door in the room. My eyes were now adjusted a little better and I saw that there was no furniture and the only window had been blockaded by wood. The source of light came through the crevices in the wood blocking the window and a blinking light bulb that swung back and forth over us. I was brought back to the present when Laurent came back into the room, this time dragging a limp body with him. My father's unconscious self was thumped down to the ground. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe again, now noticing that the source of the scent of blood was stronger, it was coming from my father. I mumbled something against whatever was against my lips when I opened my eyes again and I saw out of the corner of my eye Victoria motion to Laurent.
In an instant my mouth was free of whatever was blocking me and I looked up at Victoria, "Please, stop this. He wasn't a part of killing James, he doesn't know anything."
Victoria smiled sinisterly at my pleads and shook her head, "I want you to feel what I felt, human. You killed my James and now I'm going to make you wish you had never been born into your worthless little life," she said, her voice low but never the less just as cold as ice. Victoria gripped my father's hair and lifted him up and just as I screamed for her to take my life instead she bit into my father's neck.
Tears instantly fell and I coughed and screamed as the both of them continued to feed on my father in front of me. I couldn't do anything; I had never felt so helpless in my whole life, not even when he left me. I watched through blurry eyes as Victoria wrenched Laurent away from my father's neck and a step back herself.
My father started screaming bloody murder as he laid there, already starting the transition into becoming a vampire. I clenched my eyes shut as I screamed with him. I hated this, I hated them, and I hated Edward Cullen for what he was doing to me now, even when he wasn't around.
"You must watch, human, this is the pain that I felt, you must feel it now."
My eyes snapped open and I stood up with all the energy I had and began walking again, I wasn't that worthless human like she had called me anymore. I hated myself for being that weak back then, but I couldn't go back in time and change that. There's nothing I can go back and change. I miss my old life, but I wouldn't change anything now. I had saved so many lives since then and I knew that one over the thousands was more important. I would always regret what happened, I would always feel hatred towards those vampires, I would always hate myself for being powerless to them, and I would always hate Edward Cullen for putting me in that position in the first place, but for now I would just continue to go through my life saving as many as people as I could. I was meant to be a hunter and I would hunt until someone killed me.
AN: Alright so there was a little insight on what happened to Bella during the torture Laurent and Victoria gave her. If there are any quetions feel free to ask me and I will get in touch with you, you must have a ff account though. I hope you guys enjoyed it, please review so I can answer quetions, that and they make all warm and fuzzy inside! lol.