A/N: I literally wrote this in like 20 minutes. I don't really like the Chuck in this story, I don't think he would really be like this, but this was just so easy to write and that was how he came out, so I went with it. Hope you like it!
He knew he messed up. Again. It wasn't the first time, and it probably wouldn't be the last. But he was trying. Even if she couldn't tell, he really was trying to be better. He knew that she was at her limit. He was on thin ice. One more mistake and that could be it for him, and for them. He knew this, and yet he still kept fucking up.
In the beginning everything had been great. That first summer together had been perfect. When he came back from Europe, with all those perfectly wrapped, well thought out gifts and told her he loved her, it had opened the door to the kind of happiness he had never experienced before. Together they had been perfect, epic even. After he said those words, talking wasn't necessary. In those following months he could tell her everything with a simple kiss. That was how deep their connection was.
But as time passed, they began to drift apart. He immersed himself in his work and she began classes at NYU. They were still together, but things weren't the same. He wasn't her perfect dark prince anymore. He screwed up. A lot. And even though he knew it, he kept doing it, and she kept taking him back.
At first, he was able to soothe her and win her back with his simple charm and their sexual tension. But eventually those things were not enough. Now when they fought and when she threatened to leave, he had resulted to begging.
He would come home to find her in his closest, fingering through his many suits, pausing over some of her favorites. Usually she would be in jeans and a t-shirt, too upset to dress up. He was pretty sure she didn't know it, but when she was dressed down like that was when he found her sexiest. It was by far his favorite of her outfits.
But when he comes home to find her like that, he knows that she is well aware of what he's done. When she heard him come in, she would turn to him with a simple, defeated look on her face and just sigh. She would always say pretty much the same thing.
"Chuck, I wasn't kidding last time. If you keep doing this, I'll leave. I-, I can't stay here with someone who obviously has no respect for me. I would never, ever treat you like this. As much as I don't want to believe it, it seems like you are never going to change. When you told me you loved me, I fell for it. I believed you. But now, I don't know what to believe"
He would immediately grab onto her. Whether it was her arm, or her hand, or her cheek; he just had to touch her. "Blair, I meant what I said. I do love you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I'm not perfect. I'm not Nate. You knew I would mess up, but I'm trying. I really am. You have to believe me." His speech was always the same.
She would just shake her head when he said this. "I can't believe you, Chuck. You always say you're sorry, and you always do it again. I don't know why I keep forgiving you, why I keep coming back. But I can't keep doing this. Three more chances, Chuck. That's it. Then I'm gone; for good this time."
Three chances. That's what she always said. It didn't matter how many chances he used up, he always had three more. It should give him some sort of security, but in reality it only made him more anxious. He was just waiting for the time she didn't give him those chances and she left. He knew she was close to her breaking point, but he didn't know how to fix things anymore.
After she spoke, he always pulled her in close, holding her to him. He would whisper into her hair how he was worth it. How they were worth it. He would apologize for not being better at expressing his feelings and showing her how he felt. She would cry a bit and then they would fall asleep in each other's arms and start over the next day.
But now that routine was over.
It was a Friday night and she had been sitting on the train for the last six hours. As she sat, she thought about what had finally broken her.
He was coming back from a trip to out to Connecticut where he had visited some board members. It was supposed to be their 3 year anniversary that weekend, so she thought she'd surprise him at the train station with her gifts for him. While she waited, she kept looking over her gifts as she constantly glanced up at the clock. She had missed him so much, and she was so anxious to see him. She felt like she had been waiting forever when his train finally arrived. She saw him before he saw her. He was wearing her favorite suit. It was blue and orange; bright and obnoxious; tailored, fashionable, and so him. Only he could pull off that suit. But he didn't even notice her until he was right in front of her. He was too busy flirting with a beautiful, tall, exotic-looking woman in a tight skirt. When he did finally see her, she had already dropped the carefully arranged gifts and begun to walk out of the train station. He only saw her back. He didn't see the tears that were streaming down her face as she tried her best to hold her head high.
When she got back to the apartment, she packed a bag and turned right around to return to the train station. She got on a train heading west. She didn't really know where she was going, but she knew she needed to get away. All these years she had spent forgiving him and taking him back, hoping he would change, but he hadn't. That had finally become clear to her.
There were very few things she regretted in her life; attacking Serena when she came back from boarding school, ruining her chances at Yale, and falling in love with him. She had decided not even to think his name. She had tried so many times to say good-bye to him. But she had never been strong enough. He always managed to creep back into her life, but not this time. She had to count on this good-bye to be the last one. She had to be done with him, for her own survival.
And as she sat on the train, unsure of her destination, it hit her like a ton of bricks; it was over. She wouldn't be going back to him. She hadn't given him those last three chances she promised, but she had given him hundreds before that. She didn't doubt that he loved her, but he didn't love her enough. He didn't love her enough to be better, to change and prove to her that he could be the man he claimed he could be. It hadn't been enough, and now she need to leave because if she stayed she would break, and as much as she loved him, she couldn't let that happen to herself.
A/N: If you couldn't tell from the title, or the story, this is based on the song "Amtrak is For Lovers" by Houston Calls. I have a bunch of songs that I think would fit for Chuck and Blair, so hopefully I'll get a few more of them written soon. I don't usually like song fics that have the lyrics and try to fit a story word for word with the song, so I didn't put the lyrics and while there are lines from the song, they are not in order and not all of them are word for word. Please please please review! Thanks!