Devil May Care
Summary: A missing scene from the movie when Chazz helped Jimmy be a better kisser. Chazz/Jimmy
Disclaimer: Not mine, I don't even own a copy of the movie
Chazz paced back and forth in front of the couch as Jimmy sat there, looking annoyed and embarrassed. Chazz, an angry expression marring his usually sexy features, stopped pacing and faced the younger man. "I don't believe you! I really just don't even want to to be around you right now!" he said incredulously. He ran his hands though his hair angrily.
"What are you—" Jimmy started to ask, confused.
"Katie! You are such an—"
"You told me to ask her out!" Jimmy interrupted, standing up indignantly.
"That's not what I mean. How could you even say that you kissed her? That was not a kiss; it was more like two fish trying to eat each other's heads!"
"How do you even know what it looked like?"
"Not important," Chazz immediately deflected. "The point is you need work before I can even consider saying we belong to the same species."
Jimmy sighed in defeat. "I know," he said sadly. "I've never really had a real girlfriend before. And I've never really kissed anyone." He thought a moment before finishing, "Three girls, that's it. And one of them barely counted since we were six when it happened."
If Chazz was drinking anything at that moment, he would've spat it out all over the rug. "You're a virgin?" He had suspected that, but was hoping he was wrong, that Jimmy was just naturally innocent and it was something he just didn't ever get rid of. But, Christ, the man was past thirty and had never fucked a girl before? Chazz couldn't wrap his head around that.
He tried to think of the reasons why Jimmy might still be a virgin. He was sweet and funny and committed, girls loved shit like that. Chazz knew that Jimmy had a large fan base, too, with both guys and girls alike. Even if Jimmy was gay, which Chazz didn't think was too far from the truth, the kid was so fruity; it wasn't like he couldn't get a guy in bed with him. Then...why? Chazz just couldn't understand how it hadn't happened yet.
Jimmy blushed a deep red and said, "What? N-no, no way! I've done it dozens of times before!" Chazz knew he was lying, though. He walked over to blond-haired man and pressed his two fingers into Jimmy's girly pink shirt-clad chest. He pressed just hard enough that Jimmy took a step back and fell back onto the couch. Chazz sat next to him, casually slinging his arm around the back of the couch and putting his left ankle on his right knee.
Jimmy became acutely aware that every time Chazz would move one of his legs, his knee would jerk and hit Jimmy on his thigh.
They sat in silence for a few minutes before Chazz said, "You want a few pointers?"
"What?" Jimmy squeaked, unsure of what the hell that was supposed to mean.
"Pointers," Chazz said as if it was obvious. "So you won't look like a complete dork next time you're out with Katie."
"And how do you plan on giving me these pointers? Stick pieces of candy to the wall and have me eat them off?"
"Actually, that might just work! Fuck my idea, let's do that!" Chazz said, grabbing Jimmy's hand and pulling him into their shared bedroom. He rooted through the drawers for a few moments before he found a brown paper bag filled with assorted candies. He stuck them on the wall and then stepped back. "Okay, go."
Jimmy went up to the wall, a slightly disgusted look on his face. He had always heard people on TV and in real life saying that the girl they kissed was more like kissing a wall. Now, he was literally doing that. How pathetic did he have to be to have to amount to this, just so he could kiss a pretty girl? He was able to get the first caramel candy fairly easily, but the others just fell to the floor before he could wrap his tongue around them enough.
"Chazz, this isn't working," Jimmy said annoyed. He turned around to see Chazz looking deep in thought. That was never a good sign.
"I have another idea," he said before pulling the younger man into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a bowl of cherries. He pulled the stem out of one and handed it to Jimmy. "Tie it in a knot."
Jimmy took it, the look on his face saying he didn't think this would ever work. Chazz sat on the counter to watch while he snacked on some chips. He became thoroughly amused by the very unattractive faces Jimmy was making as he tried to get the stem to knot.
After five minutes of trying in vain, Chazz took pity on him and told him to spit the stem out. Jimmy went sadly into the living room and threw himself onto the couch, Chazz watching him leave. He looked so dejected, Chazz almost felt bad. He sighed, deciding he couldn't jet let Jimmy sulk, not when he had one more idea that just might work.
He walked over to the couch slowly, trying to compose himself for what was probably going to come next. He stopped behind the couch, resting casually against the back. "Hey," he said his voice suddenly quiet and hoarse. Jimmy was lying on the couch looking so vulnerable and upset, his arms crossed and a pout on his baby face. Chazz would never say it out loud or even admit to thinking it, but he thought Jimmy looked pretty goddamn adorable right now. He didn't acknowledge that Chazz was standing there, however. Deciding to just roll with it, Chazz hauled himself over the back of the couch and landed heavily on top of Jimmy. With surprising gentleness, he pulled Jimmy's arms out from between them and crossed them over his back. It was casual yet intimate at the same time and left nothing but their thin clothes between their bodies.
He crossed his own arms across Jimmy's chest as if he did this every day.
"You're crushing me, get off you fat lard," Jimmy said, pushing Chazz away. But Chazz pushed back and was able to keep from falling off Jimmy's comfortable body.
"I have one last idea, though." Jimmy stopped to listen. "Pretty much the only way you can get good at something is to practice. So, you just need to practice kissing a real person."
"So, I just gotta kiss Katie all the time and hope I'm getting better?" Jimmy could be very dense sometimes. Chazz flicked him affectionately before saying an exasperated, "No!"
"Then...what?" Jimmy asked, still not getting it. Chazz rested his head on Jimmy's chest for a moment, realizing he was going to have to spell this out slowly. He was being lulled by the rhythm of McElroy's heart beat and had to force himself to lift his head again.
"Just trust me, okay?" He leaned down and grabbed Jimmy's lips in his own. He pushed his feet against the arm on the couch and slid painfully slowly up Jimmy's entire body, feeling every fiber of him jumping at the sudden sensation. It felt good, it felt right. He let his hands start to wander, feeling Jimmy do the same.
He opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, but Jimmy didn't follow. The result was Chazz practically swallowing Jimmy's lips with his own. He pulled back. "Two fish. Just go with it, okay? Try again," he said before leaning in again. This time, Chazz slid his tongue across Jimmy's bottom lip, who in return opened his mouth ever so slightly. It was all Chazz needed though, to slip his tongue into Jimmy's mouth and start exploring every tooth and crevasse. Jimmy tasted like candy and apple juice and suddenly Chazz was sent back to kindergarten, with his first kiss with Sarah Diamond.
He was too aware of Jimmy's tongue following his into his own mouth and the resulting moan that escaped. Jimmy's hands were all over his torso, having hiked up his shirt at some point. Jimmy, who apparently had never done this before, was searching Chazz everywhere, pulling at his chest hard and tracing patterns on his back. Chazz couldn't hold back the shudder when Jimmy tweaked a nipple ever so slightly.
Suddenly, Jimmy flipped them over with surprising strength so they fell to the floor and Jimmy was now on top, with Chazz flat on his back. He wasted no time in ripping Chazz's shirt off his body and starting to trail kisses down to Chazz's neck. It was too much and Chazz involuntarily bucked his hips right into Jimmy's. He felt something hard and pulsing hit his leg. Now that was something he hadn't felt in a while, not since college. It was different, but not unpleasant.
Jimmy in turn ground his hips down into Chazz's own throbbing member. He couldn't take much more of this. He swept his head down and caught Jimmy's lips in his own again, slowly shuffling them so they were standing. Without parting their lips, Chazz walked them backwards into their bedroom, keeping the lights off and firmly shutting the door.
"Jimmy McElroy," he said, his voice husky as he stripped the golden boy of his clothes, "Katie van Waldenberg will be screaming for days when I'm done teaching you." He only got a few moans in response that were the sweetest, hottest things Chazz thought he had ever heard.
And he thought that as long as Jimmy would come back to him after his dates, he could live with Jimmy dating Katie.