Okay, so this story starts off in the book New Moon, on page 73, right after Edward leaves.
Bella is in the middle of the forest, stunned by Edward leaving,
The I take over. It sorta follows the pattern of New Moon, just with a different approach.
(I'll start off by writing a few lines from the book, so if you have a feeling of deja vu, you know why)
By the way, Stephenie Meyer, Twilight is all yours.
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Why are you so paranoid? -- Paranoid by Kanye West
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I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward.
I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for hte briefest instant. My eyes closed.
"Take care of yourself," he breathed, cool against my skin.
There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with the gentle wind of his passage.
He was gone.
I looked around the forest, hoping that he was just pulling a joke. I kept on thinking to myself he was tired of me whining 24/7. Emmett must have put him up to this. He must have.
"Wow Edward, that was a really good joke. For a second you had me scared to death, no pun intended. Come on out now."
My response was silence.
Don't panic. I thought. Maybe he's just waiting for you at home. Yes! That must be it! He's waiting for me to come through the front door, and surprise me with the best kiss and biggest apology.
But you didn't see him go into the house. He was infront of you, and left straight ahead.
Then I remembered something that deserved me a good smack across the back of the head. Vampire? Hello?! Super-speed. Idiot.
I ran back to my house as fast as my legs would let me. As I approached my front door, and reached for the handle, I hesitated. What if he's not there Bella? What the hell are you gonna do? But then I had the chance that he was actually there. 50/50, right?
Stop being paranoid, Bella. He's just pulling a prank.
Here goes nothing, I thought, as I turned the handle on my door.
I walked into the foyer with the biggest smile on my face. Only to have the smile turned into a grimace. With the shread of hope I still had left, I measled my way into the kitchen. Only to find out that my grimace turned into a frown. Then all of a sudden, my point of view started to get lower. That's when I realized that my knees were giving out.
Well, there goes my legs.
Wait. I thought to myself for a moment. He's upstairs! In my bedroom!
No he's not.
Jesus Christ! Me and my paranoia. He's upstairs and I'm going to go upstairs!
As I got off the floor to leave, something caught my eye. It was a small white piece of paper, sitting on the kitchen counter.
I dared myself to pick it up.
Going for a walk with Edward, up the path. Back soon, B.
The writing of the note was absolutely identical to mine. When did I write this? I looked over the room, wondering if I left the pen, giving clues to myself to fill my memory again. But that's when I realized the ink on the paper was expensive. It was from a liquid ball-point pen, and it looked so familiar. The pen itself probably costing way over than a normal pen should. The ink was a unique shade of blue. It was a vibrant, and had a velvet feel to it. I remember Edward telling me that this exact shade of blue looked amazing on me.
And that's when it hit me.
Edward bought several of these pens before school started, because it reminded me of him. He used it the day before in Mr. Berty's English class.
He wrote this letter? Why?
And at that moment, my eyes went cold. All my fears of Edward leaving me were about to crash on me, but I couldn't let it. I couldn't let myself believe it.
I have every right to be paranoid right now.
As I ran up to my bedroom, with tears trailing my path, I prayed that someone would give me my miracle back. I prayed someone would give me my own personal God back.
I open the door with a shaky hand. What I found on the other side was depressing.
Edward wasn't sitting on the bed, or the computer desk, or the rocking chair.
And at that moment, my knees hit the ground with a thunderous bang that echoed in my ear. My body went numb and my shoulder slammed into the ground, where I heard a sickening crack. Well you are prone to danger Bella. I closed my eyes, waiting for the pain in my shoulder to arrive. But nothing. Well Bella, you are absolutely over reacting! I wonder what Edward would say right now.
Realization hit me like a heart-attack. I couldn't remember Edward.
What?! You can't remember the one thing that made your life better? You can't remember the beautiful face that you woke up to every morning? What's wrong with me!
I tried to think of something. Anything, that could remind me of him.
The photo album my mom gave to me. It was sitting exactly where I left it, beside my bed.
Yes! I mentally shouted. I pulled it off the floor with too much force. I flipped to the first page, my excitment reaching it's peak.
But there was nothing. No picture. Just pen scribbled underneath what should have been my main focus in my personal shrine.
It will be as if I'd never exsisted, Edward had said.
My mood changed in an instant. I felt this new surge of energy that I have never felt before. It was foreign to me. I've never experienced this in my entire life.
That's when I realized I was full of anger.
"HOW DARE HE?!" I screamed at the poor album "HOW DARE HE TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING! HE TOOK AWAY MY PHOTOS. HE TOOK AWAY MY BEST FRIEND. HE TOOK AWAY HEART! WHO GIVES HIM THE RIGHT TO DECIDE MY LIFE!" At this point the poor album was demolished with tears and rips.
"WHO GAVE HIM THE RIGHT! WHO GAVE ED-"
I stopped because I choked.
And I couldn't breathe.
And I urged myself so hard to say his name, but I couldn't.
I stopped trying and I took a much needed deep breath.
"Who gave him the right..." I whispered.
And I was on my knees, again. That shoulder that seemed okay was actually starting to hurt so bad, I actually said the word fuck outloud. I never swore. At this time, the floor was massacured with tears. The only thing I heard for a good twenty minutes was my sobs. Life without... him meant life didn't exsist anymore.
I had nothing to live for, nothing to gain.
I'm sure the world won't miss me. I'm positive a certain someone won't definatley miss me.
As I was gathering thoughts on how I should end my life, the front door opened and closed.
My heart beated as fast as a drummer could drum.
But it was a bittersweet resurrection.
"Bells! I'm home early from work! I thought I would let you off of cooking for tonight. I brought pizza."
Well, adleast I don't have to cook tonight, I thought sarcasticly. Then I got serious. How could I have thought of killing myself?! I may not have a certain someone in my life, but I have a father who would have had a heart-attack if he found his daughter hanging from a rope.
I may not have the love of my life, but I have the love of my father.
Would it be enough to keep me strong?
About three things I was absolutely positive about.
First, he was never coming back.
Second, I have to go through everyday, fighting off thoughts of ending my life.
and Third, how the hell am I gonna explain to Charlie about him?