Title: Situations

Author: Water-Soter

Archive: Absolutely, take, take!! Just please do contact me if you are so I'll know where you're posting it and I can add it to my author's notes. I have this in my lj . and at my NCIS Gen Fanfiction yahoo group

Pairings/Main Characters: Tony and a surprise character

Genre: Angst, Humor

Series: One-shot

Feedback: Absolutely! I'm new at this, so please don't burn me at the stake. Comments, suggestions and constructive criticism are always welcomed. Be honest, I'm hard to offend. English is not my native tongue, so if you spot any mistakes, please let me know.

Rating/Warning: PG-13, you guys know me, I only write gen and mostly friendship fics but there's some disturbing material in this fic. And I do mean disturbing. :-P

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the NCIS characters. I just love to torture them.

Word Count: 414

Summary: Circumstances make strange bedfellows. Gen

Author's Notes: This story was written for the NCIS LWS for the pure dialogue challenge, though this is not my most inspired title. No real time frame but sometime after season 3. Thanks to Val for the beta, you are too awesome for words! I hope you guys enjoy! Also, any inaccurate facts in this story are Tony's fault. :-P


"Did you know that frogs can change their sex to ensure the survival of their species?"


"You know, frogs. They can become female or male."

"DiNozzo, why the hell are you telling me this?"

"Well, we're both stuck in here. I just thought we'd make conversation. It's too quiet and I hate quiet."

"I've noticed."

"We can't see or hear anything . . ."

"Your point?"

"I don't know. It makes you wonder if we're the last two human beings left on earth."

". . . How hard did they hit you again?"

"No, no, it makes perfect sense. See, if we're the only two people left, that means that it's up to us to make sure the species survives."

"You take one step over here and I'll shoot you."

"With what gun? And besides, it's not like I'm all for it or anything. But we don't have a choice."

"Do the words: rather rip my own balls off mean anything to you?"

"Hey, don't shot the messenger. Besides, we need to start planning ahead just in case."

"Just lie down and try not to bleed to death."

"It means one of us has to turn into a girl."

"But feel free to pass out."

"I guess that would have to be me. I mean, I'm pretty enough and young enough."

"How about you shut it?"

"But I don't know if I want kids. I always kinda assumed I might have some, but I'm not exactly good with them."

"This is what I get for being a nice guy."

"And the whole pregnancy thing and changing diapers . . . do you have any kids?"

"I can see lights."

"Probably not. Not with your sunny personality."

"Somewhere to the left."

". . ."

"Looks like its heading our way."

". . . I don't think I'd make a good dad."

"No way of knowing if they're our people or theirs."

". . ."

"Damn, there's nothing in here to use as a weapon."

"It's getting really cold in here."

"I'm going to try and take them as they come in. Just stay back there and stay down."

". . ."


". . ."

"Damn it, stay with me. I don't want to explain to Gibbs why I lost one of his best agents."

"Best . . . agent?"

"You're delirious."

"M' t'red."

"Just hang in there. We're getting out of this one way or another."

". . . Forn'll?"


"Y're not s'ch a bast'rd aft'rall."

". . . here they come."