Yes, that's right... I ACTUALLY UPDATED MY STORY, WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? IT'S LIKE A PARADOX (what is a paradox?).

Anyway, yeah, I finally managed to squeeze this out of my dry crusty brain. I'm super pleaesed. And no, this is not the last chapter, but definately close to it. So... yeah, read it and weep; it's basically everything you ever really wanted to know explained! The next chapter(s) will just be to round it off so, hopefully they shouldn't be too difficult to write. But yeah... don't get your hopes up.

I love you all, thank you for reading this story so far, and if you're actually still reading... WOW you're awesome.

E N J O Y!

Chapter (what the hell chapter is this anyway? 508383?)

For the first time in my life, the emotion ruling my movements was deep ridden guilt. Guilt for killing the man I undoubtedly loved guilt for going against my better judgment, guilt for absolutely fucking up everything. To be fair, the situation was pretty fucked up before. But now… now I knew for sure that I had been wrong. Nnoitra wasn't like that. He'd get power off his own back; he wouldn't have gonna along with Aizen's shitty little plan just to get his power back. And as I stood there, tugging the sword from his back with all the power left in me, I realized that it wasn't just me who had been completely confused this entire time. So perhaps he'd found out somehow that we'd have to end it like this… but not once did he show total willingness to it. He told me to fight him, but only after Aizen had prompted him to do so. The one difference is this. He accepts things without questioning them. He realized that there was no going against what was decided, whether he was the 'strongest' or not. Me… me on the other hand, I simply can't. How could I ever come to accept that I have to kill Nnoitra? That's just madness. It's like telling a mother to kill her child, telling a loving wife to murder her husband… and for no particular reason to top it all.

I wanted so badly for everything to revert to the way it used to be, when I could just potter around Las Noches like the little useless Fraccion I really am, and just do little things that'd make Nnoitra somewhat happy. That's all I lived for. I could see no possible positives that would come from finishing Nnoitra off… in fact the best thing that could happen to me at that very point would have been to curl up and die. At least then I could have left life with happy memories swirling around in my head. And I guess that's what would have happened for me, if it weren't for almost unexplainable event that took place next.

Never having died before (obviously), I simply thought the disgustingly unfamiliar feeling welling up inside me was in fact death taking over me. I hunched forward, gulping down air like water and squeezing my eyes shut, not wanting to feel anything anymore. There was a long pause; onlookers just waiting for us both to die and Aizen getting ready to return to his almighty throne… and then, BANG. All eyes shot straight back to where we were. My entire body had lit up, as if I were in flames. But I was not burning. A piercing green light surrounded me, beaming out from every inch of my body… and through Avispa. I looked down at my hands, one clenching my sword and the other wide open with this energy flowing out at the speed of light… what the hell was happening? I'd never seen any other Arrancar or Espada die like this. The light worked its way up Avispa, getting brighter and brighter until it reached the tip… then it jumped, like a bolt of lightning, to Nnoitra. He tried to shake it off but he was too weak; it quickly took over his entire body until the both of us were simply standing in the sand completely smothered in this light. I stared at him. The blood that was dripping down his stomach was receding… it couldn't be? My mind instantly switched back to the day he 'died', what had happened when Kenpachi hit me with Santa Teresa… I remembered. It was the light. It was the energy, the power… the switch. I could feel it, every drop of what had entered me that day, leaving me, like the atoms that made me up were splitting in two and actually leaving me. It didn't hurt. In fact, I began smiling. Even if this caused me to die, at least Nnoitra would be getting back everything his body gave me when he 'died' the last time. This was incredible. I'd never heard or seen this phenomenon before… the instinctive sharing of power when the other half is in extreme danger. It just wasn't the nature of hollow, Arrancar or Espada to do such a selfless thing instinctively… to save the other. I began thinking, as the light began to wear off, that perhaps this had to do with why I loved him so much. Maybe I really was made this way. It wasn't my fault.

Seconds later, I fell to the ground, gasping for breath and glancing over at the man who now held more or less all my spiritual energy. He stood tall, proud and almost glowing, not one scratch on his gloriously masculine body. I smiled and rested my head on the sand. If I tried to ignore the absolute exhaustion I felt, I could actually feel myself again. Just like the old days. What was left in me was all I had, it was really me.

The crowd was whispering, absolutely unable to grasp what had just taken place. Aizen looked somewhat speechless. The fury on his face spoke for him, though. Szayel simply stood there, pushing his glasses closer to his face and laughing.

"Absolutely incredible. Just the way you were created, although I wasn't sure you'd work! Such a beautiful creation of mine!" He cried, looking extremely smug.

"What is this! Szayel, explain, immediately!" Aizen yelled, not moving from where he stood.

Szayel walked towards me and bent down, stroking my hair. It was kinda weird.

"Do you not remember, Aizen-sama, when you asked me to create such a being? An Arrancar that has the ability to heal the Espada at speed if necessary… of course, you didn't specify much, and so I created Adoriana." He said, pulling a little tube of liquid from out of what seemed to be nowhere and putting it to my lips. "Drink this. Seeing as you're a success, I can't have you dying of exhaustion now, can I?"

But Aizen wasn't satisfied.

"Szayel. Explain fully what just happened? I have a plan in mind, but I need to know the full story in order to put it to work." He stated, setting everyone's eyes rolling again at the idea of yet another one of his crazy plans.

"Right. Adoriana has been created with a human level of emotions, unlike the other Arrancar. This is because most of her powers are activated by emotions; I thought it'd be interesting to see how that worked out. Obviously, not too well judging by the first incident she caused many many years ago…"

I figured he was talking about the thing Ulquiorra wouldn't tell me that time. I couldn't really be bothered to ask what happened though… although Nnoitra had differed thoughts.

"Heh, you mean that time when she got all pissed off with some random Arrancar thing and blew half of fuckin' Hueco Mundo up? Fuck, that was hilarious."

Well. I definitely didn't remember that.

"What? I didn't do that." I mumbled, sipping down the disgustingly sweet potion Szayel gave me.

"Yes, you did. It was shortly after I created you and released you, a very very long time ago. Before you became friendly with Urika even. But the less about that, the better. You almost killed yourself, and a member of the Espada." Szayel explained. Aizen was getting agitated.

"Continue with what I asked, Szayel."

"Yes. Anyway. You were created with the power to connect with one Espada… which one it would be was not predetermined. I must admit, I was very surprised that it happened to be Nnoitra. The moment you felt emotionally connected with this Espada, your body was immediately prepared to give itself to preserve their life. That is why you're created with a human level of emotions, or else it would have been somewhat difficult to make that connection. What I didn't plan for however, was the sharing of energy to go both ways… I was surprised when Nnoitra had that… ahem, mishap, that his energy was transferred to you. But look, it has all worked out in the end has it not? You are a masterpiece!"

I took a deep breath. It was hard to take in… I was created as a test? I was the only one of my type. It made me feel… relieved, that it wasn't my fault for feeling the way I did.

"Ah. I understand now. Well… in that case… my plan will work. Bring Adoriana and Nnoitra inside immediately. There is a lot of discussion to be done."

I stood up a little too quickly and crashed sideways into Nnoitra… looking up at him, his eyes were already on me.

"So. We were meant to be huh? Pfft, what a load of shit, I chose ya in the first place, you didn't choose me." He mumbled, knocking me to the side. I suddenly felt a little afraid… and then he grabbed my hand.

"Huh? What are you doing…" I asked timidly, backing off a little. But he held my hand tightly and pulled me back beside him.

"I said, I chose you. That means you're mine, bitch. And according to candy-floss over there, you ain't ever getting with any other one of us Espada so… guess I'm stuck with you for the rest of my life eh?" He said, squeezing my hand a little smiling at me. Yes that's right… he smiled.

And all of a sudden… nothing, absolutely nothing mattered anymore. I don't know about love, but there was something that we actually shared that no other person could ever steal away from us. And I could feel the way he was looking at me was for once, not a look of lust… but it was if he actually wanted to be with me. I think that despite what had just happened to me… despite the past gazillion years of pain and confusion… I was actually happy.