A/N: AHHHHHHHH. This is the last chapter, so make me a happeh wannabe author and REVIEWWWWW. Enjoy the chapter~
"I-I…love….Mello…I-I am s-sorry…"
It wasn't until a moment later that everything…well…actually HIT Mello. And it didn't just hit him. It slugged him in the face, kicked him in the gut, and knocked him out cold. He normally would have laughed at Near, made some sort of mockery of him, the normal 'and I thought you could control your emotions' type-thing. However, instead of doing any of that, the blonde only grabbed the key to the small boy's handcuffs, undoing him and looking down at him with wide eyes.
"N-Near…I'm sorry…what the hell did I do…?"
Near didn't even get up off of his stomach, his hands still in between the bars of the headboard. He didn't want to; he couldn't bear to look at Mello. God, he couldn't believe that he SAID that he loved Mello…he had always sworn to himself that he would not show that much weakness…he couldn't. He wanted to be L. That was his life. It was what he was made and raised for, and L certainly didn't have feelings for his biggest rival.
That was the worst part. Near knew Mello hated him, yet the small boy had never hated Mello…never.
"Near, why did you let me do this to you…? Why the hell didn't you SAY something or try and DO something, or—"
"Would Mello have listened?" Near asked, his voice hardening once again. "Does Mello seriously believe that he would have listened? Mello and I both know that it would have made no difference. We are not destined to live happily ever after. We both have purposes that require sacrifice over personal wants. I did not expect Mello to return the feelings I held for him, so I have kept them restrained and hidden."
"Go to sleep," demanded Mello, throwing the handcuffs down on to the floor. "You're delusional. Just…shut up."
Mello grabbed his gun off of the nightstand, briskly walking over to the door, unlocking it, and slamming and locking it behind him. He strode down the hallways to the training room, intending to shoot things in order to vent his anger. That usually worked.
Near lay down on the bed, defeated. His body was exhausted and screaming for rest, tired from having more sex in the past two days than he had ever had in his entire life. Curling himself up into a ball, he pulled the covers over his body before drifting off into a dreamless sleep, the only thought on his mind being Mello.
The sounds of gunshots echoed throughout the room as Mello angrily fired and reloaded, shooting cartridge after cartridge into the heart of the dummy. Near was in love with him, and he was in love with Near. This was the most fucked-up thing that had ever happened to him. He and Near had been in love with each other since back at Wammy's. Back then, Mello would beat Near up and torment him every day, breaking his toys and humiliating him. He even remembered when he made him strip in the common room…and now he had kidnapped him, and repeatedly raped him. Yet, Near was still in love with him…what the fuck was wrong with that little masochistic twat?
Mello finally lowered his gun, the barrel red-hot. He couldn't understand any of this…not any of it. If he was in love with Near, why the hell did he kidnap him? Why wasn't he in there, telling the other boy that he loved him too? What was stopping him…? It used to be that he was afraid of rejection, but now that he knew the smaller boy liked him too, he had nothing to fear. He had come to terms with his denial he had tried to give himself all these years…the fact that he hated Near, and that he was just an annoying little twat that always bragged about his scores and tormented Mello…none of it was true, and he had known that.
Dropping his gun on the floor, Mello ran back to his room as fast as he could, unlocking the door with shaky hands. He saw that Near was curled up underneath the covers, still in his kitten outfit, so the blonde made sure to keep quiet as he shut and locked the door behind him. He forced his body to put one foot in front of the other, eventually making it to the bed, where he climbed on to it, just sitting down next to Near. Blue eyes dripped a few silent tears as he tried to convince himself he still loved Near. He loved Near…but with every bruise he saw, his bright red handcuff-marked wrists, kiss-swollen lips, hickeys covering his jaw, neck, and shoulders…it brought down his confidence in his so-called 'love.'
Slowly, he slipped out of his clothes and pulled the covers over himself, naked body shaking as he nervously wrapped his arms around Near. The small boy fit perfectly into his arms, and he still slept peacefully as Mello began to place soft kisses on his head and neck, intertwining his fingers with Near's own.
"I'm sorry…" he said softly, knowing that he would never be able to say it to Near when he knew the boy was awake. "I'm so sorry, Near…I love you too…Jesus, I've always loved you, ever since you were just that little four-year-old puffball that arrived at the orphanage on March twenty-third…I was playing soccer with Matt when I saw you…I love you Near, so much…I'm so sorry…"
"There is no need to apologize," said Near, voice soft and laced with sleep.
"Fuck, you were awake?" Mello asked, his face flushing slightly. "You weren't supposed to hear that…"
"I am awake now…" he whispered, flexing his fingers slightly before lacing them with Mello's, allowing his body to relax into Mello's arms. "Why is…Mello…holding me so gently?"
"Don't ask me stupid questions," said the blonde, pulling him closer. "Just shut up…and…enjoy it."
Near nodded, mind clouded with sleep, his body relaxing and his breathing softening as he drifted to the land of the unconscious, having a sweet dream for the first time in his life. Soon after, Mello fell asleep as well, arms still cradling the small boy gently. Blonde became mixed with white as Mello attempted to shelter Near's petite frame from any more harm that might bestow him. Though he would never say it again, he was truly sorry for everything he did, yet he didn't wish he could take it back…because he got to tell Near that he loved him.
Near was the first to wake, his body slightly sore, but mostly feeling warm and protected. He blinked a few times before remembering where he was, and that his body was so warm because Mello had wrapped himself around his small figure, as if trying to protect him from something. He could feel that Mello's hand was holding his, and he gently squeezed the blonde's fingers. It was so…nice…to be here with the person he loved most. However, a part of him knew that this could not possibly last. There was just…there was no way that everything would work out and they would have a happily ever after.
"Good morning, Near…" he heard Mello say, the blonde's face buried in his curls.
Near did nothing but squeeze Mello's hand, signaling that he was awake also. However, it seemed that Mello wasn't just going to have that. Scooting over a bit, Mello rolled Near over so that the smaller boy was lying on his back instead of his side, looking up at Mello.
"No, 'good morning, I love you,' for me?" he asked, cupping Near's round cheek in his hand.
"Mello and I both know that I am not that kind of a person," said Near softly, smile in his eyes.
"Not a tenderhearted lover? Is that so? Would you care if I tried to change your mind?" Mello asked, the pad of his thumb rubbing against Near's cheek as he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to the smaller boy's lips.
Near's eyes widened and his body tensed slightly, but he slowly relaxed and wrapped his arms around Mello's neck, beginning to timidly kiss him back. The blonde pushed the smaller boy back into the bed, determined to make up for what time he had lost, wanting to enjoy what little time they had left.
"Mind changed yet? You gonna give me an 'I love you too, Mello,'?" asked Mello, his lips moving to kiss Near's cheek gently.
Near only shook his head 'no,' shivering slightly as Mello slipped his hands up the smaller boy's remaining lingerie, pulling it off of his slightly trembling frame. The blonde tossed it to the floor, removing his boots, ears, and collar as well, leaving them both completely unclothed. Even with the covers housing them, Near continued to shiver.
"Is something wrong?" Mello asked, larger hands caressing his fragile body. "Do you want me to stop?"
Near shook his head again, the frail arms he had wrapped around Mello's neck pulling the blonde closer, as if trying to use his body to warm himself up. Mello pressed another kiss to his lips, this one much slower and deeper, drinking in his taste and the feelings the friction of their lips against one another brought. However, Mello pulled away for a moment, just sitting up and staring at the smaller boy. The blonde shoved the covers on to the floor, leaving them both on the empty bed, bare.
"Near…is it okay?"
Near nodded slightly, gray eyes looking at Mello nervously. The bed squeaked slightly as Mello adjusted himself, straddling Near, hands running along his bare body. He loved him…he always had…the blonde wanted to dwell on how much he had fucked up, but he knew that he would have time for that later.
"Near…" he whispered, the smaller boy's name rolling off of his tongue naturally. "Can I make you feel good? I…I don't want to fuck it up again. I'm not just going to have sex with you, or fuck you…that's not what I want. I'm going to make love to you…"
Near shuddered again, the combination of Mello's words, his softly purring voice, and just the feeling of their skin against each other setting off a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. Gray met blue for the who-knows-how-many-eth time, but this time, they seemed to hold a different meaning. Near ran his hands down Mello's chest, curious as to what sensations the blonde's skin under his hands would bring.
"Please…Mello…" whispered Near, his fingers wrapping themselves around Mello's sides. "I…"
Mello cut Near off by pressing a kiss to his lips, running his hands up and down the smaller boy's sides, as if trying to create friction to warm him up. The blonde sat the two of them up, setting Near on his lap and hosting him up to his knees so he could press his lips to the smaller boy's chest. Running his tongue down his pale torso, Mello drank in Near's mewls and wrapped his arms around the boy's lower back, pulling away to watch Near's head tilt back as another moan escaped his lips.
Mello moved his lips to an erect nipple, beginning to gently suck, hands greedily roaming his back. Staccato whimpers continued to fall from Near's lips, his hands clenching Mello's shoulders tightly. His body was shuddering slightly, a small gasp escaping as Mello continued to suck ravenously, the blonde finally moving his mouth to the small boy's other nipple.
"Do you like this?" he asked softly, peeking a finger into Near's entrance as he continued to work his mouth against the smaller boy's nipple.
Near said nothing, but he continued to let out moans and whimpers, adjusting himself slightly against Mello's finger. The blonde quickly slipped another finger into his tight entrance, not waiting for permission before beginning to quickly scissor them.
"N-Nn!" whimpered Near, leaning forward slightly and allowing Mello better access to his entrance. "M-Mello, I-I…!"
The blonde only smirked and slipped a third finger in, scissoring them roughly. Near let out a moan, his face flushing deeper as he clenched Mello's shoulders tightly, his nails digging into the soft flesh. Finally, the blonde pulled his fingers out and moved his hands to the small boy's hips, grabbing them and directing them down. Near seemed confused for a moment, but Mello pressed the tip of his cock to Near's entrance and the smaller boy quickly understood. He impaled himself in one try, dropping down completely as a soft cry slipped past his parted lips.
"Near…" Mello breathed, tilting his head back.
Near took this as the signal to begin moving, so he did. Slowly, he raised himself up so Mello was almost completely out of him, dropping himself back down and moaning loudly. The blonde could tell that he hit the smaller boy's sweet spot as he began to move faster, Mello pushing himself up into Near as well, determined to bring him just as much pleasure.
"M-Mello!" Near cried, dropping himself down particularly hard. "I-I—h-hah!"
The smaller boy closed his eyes tightly, his face a bright red as his bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat, lips parted to let out faltering moans. He continued to ride Mello, the only sounds in the room being their moans and panting, and the sounds of flesh smacking against flesh. Mello knew that the smaller boy was about to cum, so he thrust up into him just as he dropped down, provoking the loudest cry yet. Near suddenly came, crying Mello's name, his hot cum spurting all over the both of them. He clenched around Mello as hard as he could, the blonde letting his cum explode into Near's entrance, Mello stifling a groan in his pale chest.
"M-Mello…" said Near, his voice still uneven as he panted, trying to regain his breath. "M-Mello, I-I…"
"Shh," Mello whispered, gently pulling Near off of him and setting him on to the bed. "You don't need to say anything, Near. I know."
Mello helped Near lie his head on one of the pillows before pulling him close, stroking his hair and feeling the smaller boy relax into his arms. He ran his hands up and down the soft skin of Near's back, wishing that he could just hold him in his arms forever.
"I'm…I'm sorry…" whispered Mello, pressing a kiss to Near's forehead. "Please…forgive me."
"I will not forgive Mello," said Near, looking up at the other boy. "Because there is nothing to forgive."
"I love you, Near."
"As I love Mello."
End Note: RAHHHHHHH. Fluff and romantic smutttt. I know that it…was terrible and OOC, but I still like it. Oh, and, by the way? I LISTENED TO, LIKE, EVERY FUKKING GACKT SONG WHEN I WAS WRITING THIS. I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN. I LOVE HIM. I KNOW ALL OF THE JAPANESE LYRIS TO ALL HIS SONGS. I…I WANT TO…I WANT TO KISS HIS FEET. I LOVE HIM. [/end fangirl rant]
Over and out, for now~!