Moona: This is just a little something I wrote when I was bored in class one day. Not sure if you'll like it or not, but I think you all agree with me that the amount of Corner Gas fics out there is just shameful. I was going to make this an actually story but couldn't think of enough material. Ah well… enjoy! Please review I want to know what you think.
Yet Another Bright Idea
"No! Don't do it! You'll never come out alive!"
"But I must! We need to stop his evil plan."
"It's a suicide mission. There has to be another way."
"There isn't! I must do it for fellow justice fighters everywhere."
Brent looked up from his comic book as he heard the small bell above the door ring. Hank casually strutted into the corner store and leaned up against the cash register. Wanda paid him no notice, and Brent followed her lead.
"Hey, Brent, Wanda," Hank said, trying to be cool as if he had just noticed them standing there.
"Hi, Hank," Brent said in a monotone voice, once again enveloped in his comic.
"I have an announcement to make." It was amazing that six little words could hold so much power. Hank and Wanda both stiffened as Hank spoke.
"Oh no," Wanda said, sounding horrified beyond belief. "Yet another bright idea."
"No no no," Hank said quickly. "It's nothing like that… whatever that is." Hank sounded confused, but Wanda and Brent stared at him, waiting for him to get on with his point. "Anyways," Hank continued. "I want to introduce the two of you to my new friend."
There was silence as the workers stared at Hank. He stood proudly in front of the counter, not saying nor doing a thing. He merely looked expectantly at his friends.
"Okay…" Brent said hesitantly, feeling he was being led into a trap. "Where is he?"
"Well he's right here," replied Hank, gesturing to the empty air next to him.
"Oh! Sorry, I didn't realize your friend had invisibility powers." Brent said in a dead serious, yet sarcastic tone. "My apologizes, sir." Brent mimed tipping an imaginary hat in a polite gesture while Wanda chuckled to herself.
"Don't be silly, Brent," Hank said, offended. "He's imaginary, not invisible."
Another pause filled the air. "You're serious?" asked Brent.
"Yeah, of course."
Wanda laughed full force this time. "I think someone has an imaginary brain."
"Heh heh, good one," Brent agreed. He turned back to Hank. "Imaginary friends – isn't that the kind of thing six year olds go through?"
"He has the mind of a six year old," interjected Wanda.
"No, listen," Hank said defensively. "I realized the other day that I'm not the most popular guy in town…"
Wanda slapped her hand on the countertop and looked at Hank with shock. "No! Really?! I for the life of me can't imagine why that would be!"
Hank gave her an unimpressed look and continued. "I'm trying to be more popular, so when people ask me how many friends I have, now I can say I have one more."
Brent and Wanda were left speechless, both at a loss for a good comeback.
"Fine," conceded Brent. "What's your friend's name?"
Once again, Brent and Wanda were struck dumb by Hank's idiocy. "You named your imaginary friend after me?" asked Brent, completely appalled.
"No," corrected Hank. "Coincidence."
"How is that coincidence?!"
"Well," shrugged Hank, completely nonchalant. "I just picked the first name that popped into my head."
Brent gave Hank and exasperated expression, but it was lost on him.
"Is this really going to be effective?" asked Wanda, trying to show Hank the obvious stupidity of his plan.
"Well," thought Hank. "If I count Brent…" Hank indicated the man opposite the counter. "…and Brent…" He indicated the empty space beside him. "…and all my other friends, that makes…" At this, Hank took a minute to count on his fingers and do some math in his head. "Two."
Wanda laughed as Brent merely stood, looking annoyed. "Hank, you can't do this."
"Well… because…" Logic obviously wasn't going to work. Brent would have to use Hank logic. "People are going to get us mixed up. How will you be able to distinguish the difference between Brent and me?"
"B1 and B2?" suggested Wanda.
"Har har," Brent said sarcastically. He didn't appreciate being compared to a kid's show.
"No, I mean literally. People can call you Brent One and Brent Two."
"Wait… who's B1?" Hank asked, clueless.
Brent in aggravation leaned over to Wanda. "You're not helping," he whispered.
"I know," she said, gnawing off a piece of her favourite candy. "But it sure is fun to watch."
Brent frowned as he turned back to Hank. "If you want to tell people you have more friends, why don't you just lie?"
At this, Hank looked horrified and deeply offended. "Brent! How can you say such a thing? What kind of example would that be for Brent?"
"He doesn't need an example!" Brent exclaimed. "He doesn't exist!"
Hank said nothing, clearly defeated with logic even he couldn't deny. "Fine. If you're really against my idea so much…"
"Thank you," Brent said, exhausted, but finally content. Hank hung his head and left for the Ruby.
Wanda watched as the door closed behind him. "Way to crush his aspirations, B1."
"Don't call me that."