Zack and Cody were walking on the deck of the S.S. Tipton; Cody was talking endlessly about his date with Bailey the night before, "And after we had our dinner, we sat on a bench and looked at the stars-"

"Enough," Zack yelled fed up with him constantly talking about his relationship with Bailey, "I can't take it anymore, it's beyond annoying."

"What," Cody asked as the two of them stopped walking and faced each other, "I'm not allowed to express my love for the wonderful woman named Bailey."

Zack took a deep breath as if he was about to strangle his brother, "Not around me you can't."

"Now hey," Cody said pointing to him, "weren't you the one who got so excited when we got together when we were stuck on that island."

Zack grunted, "Yeah, but now that the two of you are dating it's unbearable; all the romantic talks, the 'I love You' back and forths, The 'cuddle bunny' moments, the cliches...it's sickening."

Cody stared at him for a moment, "Well I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Can't we talk about something else," Zack begged, "Anything but you and Bailey."

"Fine," Cody thought of something to talk about, "We can talk about London's new boyfriend."

"Oh yeah," Zack said in a grotesque way, "The vampire."

"What makes you think he's a vampire," Cody asked a bit shock by the remark.

Zack gave him a look, "He's a 'Count'."

"That doesn't make him a vampire," Cody explained, "it's a title."

"Of what," Zack asked not getting the point of being a 'Count', "I mean Kings rule over Kingdoms, Lords rule over Domains, Popes rule over churches, what does the Count have power over?"

"I'm sure they rule something," Cody answered impressed with the way Zack built his question, "They have to rule something, people who are counts love for people to call them counts; so it has to have some power somewhere."

"Regardless," Zack explained moving on with the conversation, "He's not a good boyfriend for London, he won't respect her or anything like that. He's doesn't deserve her."

"I'm sure he'll be a good boyfriend," Cody added walking around him, "I mean he seems lik-Wait a minute."

Cody and Zack were now on opposite side from where they were before as Cody turned back to him and asked, "Why do you care?"

Zack stuttered incoherently for a moment before finally coming out with, "No reason."

"Do you," Cody asked very slowly, "Like London."

"No," Zack said emphatically, "No, absolutely not...yes."

"What," Cody was shocked by that confession, "I-I-I don't believe it, when did this happen?"

"Well," Zack explained, "London and I had a talk where she thanked me for not going along with her delusion in the cave and when that was over I had this rush of emotion."

"I asked for the when," Cody said trying to get a time line, "But thanks for the how."

"Oh," Zack thought for a second, "Like a few hours after we got London back to normal."

Cody stared at Zack in utter amazement, "That was three months ago; why the delay on this, I mean you've dated other girls since then."

"I needed to be sure I actually liked her," Zack explained, "and that I wasn't just physically attracted to her because of what happened in the cave; but now I think I actually do like her. What do you think?"

"Considering how you usually are with girls, "Cody answered, "I think the fact you put so much thought into whether or not you like shows that you do like her."

"You're right," Zack said having an epiphany, "I'm in love in London."

"I never said that," Cody replied attempted to trap Zack.

"No I did," Zack added with a smile on his face, "now I will do...something."

"Oh no," Cody sensed a scheme brewing in his head, "Zack please, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to win London's heart," Zack explained, "by any means necessary."

"Can't you just tell her how you feel," Cody begged, "it'll save us all a lot of trouble."

"Nonsense silly pants," Zack responded, "that never works."

"It worked with me and Bailey," Cody said making a point.

"No," Zack said correcting him, "Sharing a bed worked for you and Bailey; but I have a feeling that a lot of effort will be needed with me and London."

Cody sighed, "Is this going to be an overly ridiculous scheme that will likely get us all into some kind of trouble."

Zack thought for a second, "Most likely."

"Mother of God," Cody said as Zack began to walk away, "What about Diane?"

Zack stopped, turned to him, and asked, "Who."

"Diane," Cody answered, "The girl you've been dating the past three weeks."

"Oh her," Zack said remembering who he was talking about, "I was going to break up with her any way; she's a bit...obsessive."

"Zack," Cody laughed, "she worships to a holy cross that has you hair on it instead of the lord Jesus Christ; she's well beyond the line of being obsessive. You have to break up with her before you do anything with London."

"Fine," Zack said reluctantly, "I'll do that."

Meanwhile, over at the check in

"Kramer," Jerry Seinfeld said walking in carrying bags with Cosmo Kramer right behind him, "I don't believe you got me to agree to go on this cruise."

"Well I won three tickets," Kramer explained, "I didn't want to go on this by myself; and you had shows in France anyway."

"Yeah but," Jerry put his bags down, "I don't like cruises."

"You know what I think," Kramer said smiling, "I don't think you have any sea legs."

"Of course I don't have sea legs," Jerry responded making a joke, "I'm Jewish. We Jews don't have sea legs; when we need to get across a body of water, we don't swim or take a boat across, we part the water and walk across."

"You know," Kramer said pointing to him, "Some people would find that kind of joke offensive."

"Hey," Jerry added defending himself, "One of the golden rules of Comedy is that you can always make fun of your own race or religion. It's rule number 5."

"What's rule number 1," Kramer asked very interested in the answer.

"Coarse language ruins comedy," Jerry answered, "Most comedians forget that one; wait, who did you give the third ticket to?"

"Well George and Elaine couldn't come," Kramer explained not really answering the question.

"Yeah," Jerry said getting nervous.

"Hello Jerry," Newman said in a smug way from behind him.

"Oh," Jerry replied in a very grotesque way, "Hello Newman."

"I decided to take the ticket," Newman explained much to Jerry's disgust, "Hope you don't mind."

Newman walked away; Jerry looked at Kramer, "This is just great; I'm stuck on a boat with Newman."

Mr. Moseby then came walking over, "Mr. Seinfeld, welcome aboard the S.S Tipton. I'm Marian Moseby."

"Hello," Jerry said as the two of them shook hands.

"I will show you to your rooms," Moseby explained, "But may I make a request? It would be an honor to have you do your stand up act here on the ship, we would pay you of course."

"I don't know," Jerry answered thinking about it, "I mean, I don't have any new material."

"That's fine," Moseby said trying to get him to agree, "Performers and friends get free bar privileges."

"Take it Jerry," Kramer begged.

Jerry thought about it for a moment, "Alright."

"Five o'clock slot good for you," Moseby asked.

"Yeah," Jerry answered.

"Great," Moseby said picking up the bags, "Now, lets take you to your rooms."

The three of them left the room.

Author's Note:

Here we go with the 'Romantic Life on Deck', which is a deliberately ironic title since it is more of a comedy with romance mixed in. My main goal was to add more depth to the conversations as compared to my previous story 'Stranded'. For that, I turned to the show 'Seinfeld' for inspiration and I decided to make it a crossover. Please Review.