Title: Despair

Summary: Chekov/Sulu Slash. Sulu is having trouble living with his secret; big time!

Disclaimer: I do not own and never will.

Warning: Slash, don't like don't read.


Sulu sat and tried not to drool.

He had even wrote himself a note to remind himself not to drool with the words 'disgraceful', 'inappropriate' and the phrase 'are you insane!' beneath the initial reminder.

The note was having limited success.

'Why did the Enterprise not only have to get a cute Russian ensign - but why did they have to sit me near him on the bridge and give me a room that's connected to his?' Sulu thought to himself as he rested his head in his hand and played with his food.

Sulu thought over the question.

'Well clearly they're all morons'.

He tried to eat his lunch but yet again there was limited success involved. He had only had two bites of his sandwich and had promptly felt like he would regurgitate it for all to see. One thing he didn't need. He hadn't eaten much in well over a week now and everything he managed to eat he desperately needed; even if it was just two bites of a sandwich that didn't taste all that great anyway.

'So this is love? I have to say I don't like it much.' Sulu thought miserably before discarding the idea that he would be able to eat another bite of his lunch.

He sat and tried to figure a way either around or out of his predicament. He only managed to come up with one idea and it still wasn't certain that it would work. It was more likely to back fire on him that produce a successful result.

'Okay; it may back fire; but I'm so desperate for something to eat I don't care! I just have to hope this works'.

Sulu discarded most of what was his lunch and went in search of Chekov. He was no where to be found, not even in the areas Sulu would have sworn his life on that he would have been. After searching for the best part of an hour Sulu gave up and lent against the corridor wall defeated. He heard people talking some where in the distance but didn't pay them much attention. He was just about to see if he had the energy to get back to his quarters when he heard words being pronounced wrong. His heart started to flutter and his eyes shot open. Only Pavel Chekov would put a 'V' in place of a 'W' and vice versa.

Sulu stood up from his lent position against the wall. Now all of a sudden his plan seemed awful and would lead to an all round catastrophe; but it was the best thing he had.

Sulu tried to look as presentable as his tired, malnourished body would allow him and waited for Chekov to walk past. Sure enough Chekov walked past him and gave him a radiant smile. "Priveet Hikaru".

Sulu faltered. He had forgotten that Chekov's voice (no matter how heavy the accent was at the time) reduced his brain to the equivalent of mush. Sulu managed to regain some composure fast though and smile back. "Good day Pavel". Chekov obviously had intentions on being somewhere fast because he never stopped walking. Sulu considered this fortunate, if Chekov had stopped walking and taken a good look at him he would have noticed something was wrong. He knew Chekov was naive, but no one could be that naive. 'Hikaru; what are you doing? He's walking away. Catch him!' Sulu's mind screamed at him. Sulu had never been so thrown off balance by anything in his whole life and here was this seventeen year old Russian who was doing it every time he looked at him or walked into the room, and he did it without realising he was doing it!

'Fuck it!'

Sulu ran up behind Chekov and gripping the young Russian's shoulders, spun him around and threw him up against the wall before claiming his mouth with his own.

When his lips connected with Chekov's, Sulu had never experienced until that moment something that felt so right. As the initial surprise of being shoved against a wall and having the life kissed out of him was wearing off, Chekov relaxed and melted into Sulu's arms as well as the kiss, wrapping his arms around Sulu's neck and kissing back. When Sulu felt Chekov kissing back he found it hard not to let his brain go into melt down mode. It sure as hell wanted to, especially when he felt Chekov's cool delicate fingers on the nape of his neck.

Sulu broke the kiss and was delighted to find that Chekov was smiling. So much for the crisis he was having before.

Chekov tried to kiss Sulu and initiate another passionate kiss but Sulu managed to get two fingers on his lips before they connected with his again. "Steady Pavel". Sulu smiled at him. "There's no rush". He removed his fingers and quickly kissed the Russian's lips before pulling away from Chekov completely. Chekov watched him wide eyed for a few seconds before he moved to Sulu's side and linked their arms. "Vhere are ve going Hikaru?"

Then Sulu heard his stomach growl. So had Chekov who was looking at his stomach with raised eyebrows. Sulu's stomach growled again but even louder.

"I think we should go get some food". Sulu smiled as he removed his arm from Chekov's and placed it across the Russian's shoulders. Chekov smiled in reply as he placed his arm around Sulu's waist.

Sulu was so hungry he didn't care what food or dish someone put in front of him; as long as it was edible, he was going to eat it without complaint.

But he was going to make sure he heard all of Chekov's declarations of, "Russia inwented that" whilst he ate.

Even if it took a note to remind him!