Okay, so I'm not a "3 stories at a time" kind of girl, I swear. But this has been stuck in my head for forever. I finally outlined it COMPLETELY (yay me) and just couldn't wait to get it posted. Please feel free to ask questions about this story-I want you all to understand the premise. And it may look like every other story out there, but I promise it's not.

Bella Swan has a method. She has a plan. She's going to get up, get out and get on with it. "Fuck you, Edward-I don't need you anymore."


It didn't matter how many times I said I hated birthdays, Alice insisted on throwing me a party. I tried begging and pleading-hell, I even tried crying. No such luck. So here I was, sitting in my truck in front of the Cullen's house, on the night of my party. Edward was with me; he tried to make me see reason. I played along because it meant so much more to them than it did to me. I was prepared to be Queen gripes-a-lot when we got here, but when Edward told me Esme made the cake herself, I caved. I would put on my best happy face, walk through that door, and act like this was the greatest thing ever.

Too bad I suck at acting.

Edward pulled me from the truck and gave me an apologetic smile as we walked up the steps, having learned that trying to talk this up wasn't going to help. They were all waiting for me; Carlisle and Esme, waiting with smiles, Emmett, ready to burst his skin with excitement, Rosalie, at least not grimacing, and finally Alice. Alice was dancing back and forth as if she couldn't contain her joy. She bounded past the others and threw herself at me, thankfully stopping in time before she pummeled me to the floor. She may look small, but she packed a punch. The room was covered in flowers and candles, and in the center was the cake that Esme made. I was pleased to see that it wasn't some giant monstrosity of a cake, which was what I was afraid of. Instead, it was small-one layer, covered in chocolate icing, with my name written in (much to beautiful for icing) pink script. Emmett saw me eye the cake, and took the opportunity to poke fun. As per usual.

"The cake wasn't big enough to fit 18 candles on, so we just left it alone. That, and the fact that you're a fire hazard." He grinned wickedly, but I only rolled my eyes.

"Leave her alone, Emmett, it's her birthday!" Alice chided, pulling me towards the center of the room. "Esme knew you wouldn't want anything extravagant, even though what I had in mind was gorgeous. But that's besides the point! Are you ready to open presents?" she asked, already thrusting one towards me.

I frowned. "Alice, I told you, I didn't want you guys to spend money on me. It's not fair." I took the package, which was small and light. It was probably a car key, knowing them.

"Yes, well, nobody said we had to listen. We don't have birthdays, therefore negating the need to give each other gifts. We've been looking for an excuse for years, and here you are, walking and ready. Open it-this one's from me." I sighed, but tore at the paper.

"A gift card, Alice? I have to say, I'm surprised." I looked at the tiny square that entitled me to anything I wanted at Gucci?! "Alice, how much is on this gift card? And when have I ever shopped at Gucci?" I asked, shaking my head.

"That's the problem-you never have shopped at Gucci. It's time to change that. And there's no amount on that gift card, you just get whatever you want and it's taken care of." She smirked at me. I made a mental note to buy a Gucci keychain and let myself smile at Alice.

"Thank you. You're too much, you know that, right?" I said to her. She laughed her trilling bell laugh and put her arms around me.

"I may have heard that once or twice." She handed me another present, this one from Emmett. I moved my hand quickly under the wrapper, and with all the grace of a paper bag, I cut my finger.

"Ouch!" I hissed, bringing my finger up to my mouth, apparently oblivious to what was happening around me. In a spilt second, I realized my fault, and turned towards Edward. His eyes were black-a definite bad sign, and I could hear a low growl coming deep within his chest. I didn't move-nobody did. My slight tremble could never match their utter stillness as all eyes rested on the vampire on edge. Carlisle edged towards me, pulling a tissue from the table next to me and wrapping it around my finger. I looked down-there was no more blood. I knew my blood was stronger to him then to the rest of them, that's what pulled him to me in the first place. So I waited.

And just like that, the moment was over. His eyes, now back to their normal color, looked at me with a growing concern that I just couldn't place. "Are you okay?" he asked flatly. Uh oh.

"Yeah, it's nothing. I'm good." I looked at Alice, trying to catch her eye. She'd tell me if something wasn't right. But she wouldn't even look at me-she was too focused on Edward. My stomach wrenched when I saw the pleading look in her eyes as she begged him with her thoughts. He chose not to acknowledge her.

The rest of the evening couldn't have been more awkward if I had been naked the whole time. Edward would barely look at me. Alice had left the room completely. I opened the rest of my presents, had two bites of cake, and spent the rest of the evening on the couch. Emmett had tried to coerce me into a game of Halo, but I had no desire. I wanted to know what was wrong, and I wanted to know now.


"Let's get you home, Bella." Edward said, pulling me gently towards the door. I waved my goodbyes to what family was there, but who I really wanted was Alice. She didn't come back. Edward must have noticed my distress, but refused to say anything about it. We drove home in silence.


I was sitting on my bed, waiting for Edward to make his reappearance through my window. He'd only left long enough to make it realistic. He always came back.


I was hyperventilating. Freaking out. Absolutely losing it. He didn't come back. He wasn't here. No phone call, no nothing! I tried to take a deep breath, but I just couldn't do it. I didn't have any room beyond the fear to breathe. I laid on my bed, clutched my pillow, and cried myself into unconsciousness.


I woke up groggily, trying to remember why my pillow was stiff with tears. The realization hit me-Edward never came back. H e dropped me off and left. Add that with the flatness in his voice and the inability to look at me and I've got myself into something deep. Something scary. When I stood up and turned towards my closet, I noticed an envelope. No. I knew the script on front-I would recognize it anywhere. I couldn't hardly work my fingers to open it. And when I did, I wished I hadn't.


I have to leave. I can't spend your life fighting these urges I have any longer. Every day is a fight for me; a fight I fear I'll lose very soon. Something as insignificant as a paper cut should not have me fearing for your life, yet it does. I thought after Phoenix things would be different, but it's only getting worse. I can't continue to put you in danger. I can't be a danger to you anymore, Bella. You wonder why I didn't do this last night, to your face? I don't want the last image of you that I have be one of sadness. I couldn't look into your eyes and tell you these things. Call it cowardice if you will, but I want to remember you as I've seen you these past months. Smiling and happy. I couldn't bear the thought of being responsible for breaking your heart, and seeing it in your eyes.

I'm sorry. I love you.


I stared at the letter like it was written in Greek. Before long, I couldn't see through the tears. I cried until there was nothing left in me to cry. My hands pressed the letter to my chest, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything but this overwhelming feeling of what had to be death. I had to be dying-who could survive this? Edward was my everything. My everything. In the coherent part of my mind, I thanked God Charlie wasn't here to listen to my screams.


I laid down on the floor of my room, clutching the last piece of my Edward that I had to my chest. His final words to me. I'm sorry. I love you. I could almost hear him saying it. I closed my eyes, and I died.

This is only a niblet of back story. From here, we will follow Bella on her road to recovery as she gets her life back. Get ready to open up Chapter 1: Wake Up.

This is only a preface as to what sets Bella off. There are questions to be answered, such as: Where's Jasper? Is that why Edward really left? What did Alice do? So stick with me-I swear it'll be fun.