I was quickly becoming dependent on my time with Jacob to fill the whole that he left behind. I knew it was bad of me to use Jacob like that, but I couldn't help it. He was my sun, brightening my dark and lonely days. But as much as Jacob brought life back to me, a part of me still couldn't and didn't want to get over and forget him. Although I wanted Jacob to complete and fill in that missing piece of me he just couldn't. But I was sure that he would be damned if he wasn't going to try his hardest to fill the gapping hole. And I was selfish enough to let him try.
And that is why as per usual I was on my way to La Push, to spend my Saturday with Jake. We were going to go beach for the day. It was still pretty chilly outside, but otherwise it wouldn't be Washington. My truck chugged along the familiar road to Jake's. As I pulled up to the old and red home, I see Jake standing on the porch waiting for me as my truck can be heard over a mile away.
"Bella!" Jacob excitedly yells as he runs over to the truck. As soon as I set one foot on the ground I am already being lifted back off into a giant bear grip that can only be described as a "Jacob hug."
"Hey Jake. How are you doing today?"
"Well better now that you're here" he says as he smiles but I can still see a hint of sadness in his eyes. I feel bothered by that, Jacob is always happy and the sadness just does not look right in his eyes.
"What's wrong Jake?"
"Oh nothing new. Embry is still giving me and Quil the cold shoulder. I just wish I new why he turned on us. Ya know?"
"I don't Jake. There must be a good reason though. I mean he is your best friend. That has to still mean something to him" I told him trying to sound understanding though on the inside I questioned if there really does exist such a reason to blow off your two lifetime best friends.
"Maybe" Jake muttered.
I did not like seeing my sun shining so dimly. I made a decision to try and fix this for Jacob. It is the least I can do after all he has done for me.
"Well what are we standing around here for, let's head to the beach" Jacob said taking me out of my thoughts.
"Okay. Can we stop by the store for a couple of bottles of water and snacks on the way though."
We began to walk towards the shop, its only a few blocks from Jacob's house and only a block from the beach. I went in to grab what I wanted from inside while Jacob stayed outside and talked to the son of one Billy's friends, Seth. I picked up a few bottles of water, a can of sour cream Pringles and a Milky Way. I paid and walked back outside and saw Jacob standing alone and looking both sad and angry staring at something I couldn't see around the corner of the story. I approached him slowly, never seeing Jacob look so upset.
"Jake is something wrong? Are you okay?"
"Nope, nothing is wrong. Let's just get out of here."
I look around the corner of the building to see four very large men. But after a second I think I recognize one of them as Embry. Although it is hard to tell seeing how he has changed so much since that first time I saw him in Jake's garage. He is now very tall, maybe 6'6", and incredibly built. Where he was once very lanky he now bulked up an unbelievable amount. And apparently he is not ashamed of his new physique seeing how he is not wearing a shirt, but only a pair of cut offs. I can't help but stare at him and think how gorgeous he has become.
"Oh sorry Jake. I just…um… I couldn't…when did Embry get so big?"
"Uh. I guess right before he starting hanging out with Sam and his group."
I gave my bag of water and snacks to Jacob and started to walk away when I heard Jacob.
"Bella, where are you going? He's not even worth your time. Let's go to the beach."
"No Jake. He needs to know what an ass he's being to you and Quil. Just because he starts working out is no reason to ditch his best friends. Give one minute and then we'll go to the beach."
As I turn to walk towards the new giant sized Embry, I notice that he's turned his back towards me while talking to the largest and who I assumed was the leader, Sam Uley. I walked up behind him but he did not acknowledge me, though I knew he knew that I was there, all three of his new friends were looking at me with questioning looks. I ignored them and focused on the boy I am here to talk to. I cleared my throat and still nothing. So I proceed to reach up and tap on his shoulder.
"Excuse me, Embry. You know it is polite to look at someone while they are speaking to you. Well fine be rude. That seems to be all you can do lately. Ditching you two best friends for these overgrown guys is just wrong. Do you know how hurt Quil and Jake are that their friend gave them the boot? Are you even listening you ass?" But as I finished I noticed he was slightly shaking.
"Yes I am listening, but you have no clue what the hell you are talking about so you can just shut up and leave me alone and mind your own fucking business. Now go and run al-"
He yelled at me only turning to look at me as he said his last sentence. He then proceeded to stare at me with wide eyes and a slack jaw. But as inspected his expression it was his eyes that held my attention. They were like dark chocolate orbs, filled with admiration and surprise.
I pulled my eyes away from his, trying to remember why I came over here other than to be close to him. I shook my head and blink ed a few times reminding myself of Jacob.
"Well for your information, Jacob is my friend so it is my business. So…good-bye."
I turned to leave and made it about half way back to Jacob when I heard Embry yell out for me.
"Bella! Wait! Please!"
But I kept walking. But then I felt a shock go through me as I felt him grab my shoulder.
"I said wait. Jeez. I um am sorry for yelling at you like that. You're right I am rude sometimes. I'm trying to work on that. But hey...uh…what are you doing today? Do you wanna hang out. I could make it up to you. I could buy you some ice cream."
"First off, it is way too cold for ice cream. But I guess the cold doesn't bother you seeing you are wearing next to nothing. Second, its not me that you need to make up being rude. I would say that would be Jacob and Quil, you remember them right, you friends? And lastly, I am hanging out with Jacob today, so no I don't want to hang out with you."
I was feeling very proud of myself for keeping my cool and confidence, when I heard Embry growl at my last point. I wondered who growls at another person. Maybe it was the drugs he was doing to get so large.
"Fine. What about tomorrow? Are you free then?"
"No. Busy. With Jake. Like always. Why the sudden interest? I mean you can hang out with me, but not with your best friends. What is up with you Embry? I thought you were a really sweet and nice guy. But I am having trouble believing that here lately."
"I am. I swear! Just things have been…different lately. I would explain more if I could, I really would. Can't we just hang out, at least once. Give me a shot you were right in your first judgment of me, please."
"I want to believe you. I do, Embry, but I can't. And I won't hang out with you while you're ignoring Jake. Maybe when you work out that friendship, we can create one of our own but not before then. It would hurt Jake, and won't do that" I said fully meaning every word, but somehow felt like I was betraying myself. Like I should just put everything aside and be Embry's friend. I felt a pull to him that I couldn't explain.
"I understand that you don't want to hurt Jake. And neither do I, but can't you reconsider. I want to be Jake's friend again. I just can't right now, but I will again in time. But can't we be friends in the mean time."
"Nope. Now if you will excuse me. I have to get back to my friend. See you around…or not. I guess that is entirely up to you and what you choose to do."
With that I walked back to a seriously concerned and confused looking Jacob.